Drink Some More

so... I was sitting here at 1:45 in the morning... Drinking myself stupid and writing... when i realized something... Im alone.... and drinking.....

bear in mind that this chapter takes place a few months later... I feel like a moron for not explaining this in said chapter...

feel free to bitch and whine about it being depressing... Screw you...I smell of vodka... literally...

mind you this is the way i deal with alcoholism... that and bad spelling/ grammar.

the answer is beer

I feel like shit.

Sitting here, thinking about things which shouldn't be thought about.

"god damn it, why?" I asked nobody in particular.

I tried to answer my own question by writing a longwinded lament about how one Stallion's alcohol dependancy ruined his life.

"fuck me, this sucks" I sat there gazing into my drink as i screwed up the paper and threw it in the bin.

taking a sip of the dark liquid, I hissed. it's strong flavor burning my throat ever so gently.

I threw a now empty bottle onto a pile. taking a deep whiff of the smell.

The house itself had become a cesspool of ethanol.

All because she left me.

Twilight Sparkle had left me.

all because she thought I was more addicted to the alcohol than I was to her.

I hung my head in drunken shame. nearly everything I wrote these days was either a pile of shit or, Celestia forbid, a best seller. I drunkenly stumbled out of the house, giving up on staying away from the local pub. But somehow, I never made it there. I ended up in some Church, praying to whatever Princess who was awake at the time.

In a bizarre sense of timing, the wind blew the door open, piece of paper floated on the wind.

"Alcoholics anonymous huh?" I screwed the paper up and placed it in the bin.

"Celestia... or Luna... whoever' listening... Your kidding right?"

Again, the same flyer flew in through the door.

Needless to say, my past experiences with the AA never ended up as planned.

I would turn up either drunk or sober... and by sober I mean, i'd hide alcohol in the Coffee.

most of the Ponies in Ponyville would agree that If it weren't for the fact that the elements of harmony were here, I'd be providing most of the strange occurrences.

I realized I'd become the one thing I hated the most.

a conformist.

I like my alcohol, that much is true. she had once seen me drink a Gryphon under the table.

but its when I came cantering up to her in all my drunken glory, she could see the smile on my face.

but its what she said, that broke my heart.

"if you want to kill yourself, thats fine.. but don't expect me at the funeral"

she was right.

If anything happened to me while under the influence... it would only be my fault.

so...

I'm going to do it. Cut down on my alcohol consumption, I mean...

as the Princesses are my witnesses... I vow to .... not drink as much as I usually do.

Starting... next week.... what?...

i have a wedding to go to.