"Wha... What?!"

Twilight stuttered. Rainbow wasn't Fluttershy's friend's name? What the fuck?

No, that wasn't the appropriate reaction. But before Twilight could hit herself for that again, Fluttershy continued.

Fluttershy continued. "Well, her mother... she's dead."

"Yes, I know that," said Twilight slowly.

Fluttershy cringed. "Well... I don't know what Rainbow Dash's name at birth was, but, long story short, her mother died trying to pull off a sonic rainboom. When the mach cone closed... it crushed her lungs and made her black out. She fell to the ground, well, violently."

Spike looked up. "What do yo mean 'violently'?"

Fluttershy stood a little taller. "On her way down, there was a pony walking. Sunflower, I think her name was?" The Pegasus looked at Applejack.

"That's mah cousin. Daughter of Aunt and Uncle Orange."

Fluttershy nodded. "Let's just say that she was in a comatose state for quite some time.

"The stunt of the sonic rainboom was a scientific theory that her mother was trying to prove. It was described similarly to how you just described rainbows, Twilight. And the collision with Sunflower was described similarly to... what you said.

"After that, Rainbow Dash's name was legally changed to what it is now by her father for whatever reason he had, and I never brought this up ever again. Whenever Rainbow has to sign legal papers... the description of her name always reduces her to tears."

Twilight's eyes widened. "But... but I didn't know! How was I supposed to--"

"Remember her eighteenth birthday?" asked Fluttershy, a lot bolder than before. "The one where we met Cheese Sandwich? The one celebrating Rainbow's tenth year since moving to her house here in Ponyville? Have you even looked at Rainbow's house? Have you ever wondered why it's so whimsical and fantastic despite her tough attitude? Because from whatever money her father received, he built that house as a monument to his dead wife! Have you ever wondered why Rainbow's father was so willing to let one of the weather factory workers take her in after she pulled off the sonic rainboom? Because he needed a place for Rainbow to stay until she was old enough to move in!"

Twilight took a step back. "I... I didn't know!"

"Now you do."

Twilight looked around. All of her friends were frowning, except Rainbow Dash, who was still curled up and sobbing. Pinkie Pie had a more disappointed frown than the rest. Discord was also somewhere up there.

Twilight, not knowing what else to do, bathed her horn in its signature pink glow and disappeared. Once she left, Rainbow Dash cautiously opened one eye, then the other. Then, her wings sprung open, and she shot into the air while laughing."

"Oh...oh, mare, just.... BWAHAHHAAHA."

Her friends all had there moment to revel in their successful prank. Discord flew up and hoof-bumped Rainbow Dash. Pinkie Pie was laughing the loudest. "She... she completely bought it!"

Once the laughter had died down, Discord was the last one chuckling. "Ms. Dash, I had no idea you were such an emotion leech! But if I may ask, how did your mother really die?"

Rainbow Dash landed and tucked her wings. "Well, the true story is... much, much grittier than what Fluttershy said. Just... I don't want to talk about it."

Discord nodded. "Okay then. Now, what prank do want to play next?"

Rainbow's wings unfolded with excitement. "Oh, I got a great one planned! You see..."

Discord listened, and so did the rest of the ponies. Spike, however, walked over to the portal. His gaze traveled up the the journal powering it. I hope Discord removed the temporal magic from this. Honestly, what was he thinking? Spike shook his head.

"And this is the throne room, where there are seven thrones for us."

Spike looked up to find Twilight walking into the room as if she was guiding somepony. When the pony she was guiding came into view, Spike growled and looked at the pen he was holding. Spike left, knowing what would take the pen's place shortly.

When Trixie looked over at Twilight's friends, each and every one of them scowled. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy had the deepest scowls. Fluttershy in particular stepped behind Rainbow Dash and unfurled the athlete's wings to obscure Trixie's view of her.

Despite Rainbow Dash's fuming expression, Discord couldn't help but chuckle, lean over, and whisper. "You know you are not welcome when Fluttershy isn't hospitable to you."

Applejack marched straight up to Twilight. "Sugarcube, why would ya' bring that arrogant smack-talker here?"

Despite Twilight's supposed poised expression, she had to cock her head at Applejack. "Rainbow Dash practically lives here, but I don't see you complaining about her... anymore at least."

"Does Rainbow Dash fit the description ah just said?" asked Applejack, drawing Rainbow Dash's attention.

Under normal circumstances, Twilight would have been more than happy to answer that question, but Rainbow Dash's steely gaze aimed at her caused her to hold back the snark she had in mind. "Um... no?"

"Good. Now stop changing the subject."

Twilight cleared her throat. AJ can see right through me. "Well, you see, I did some thinking."

"And what was that?" asked Rainbow, all eyes on her. "Were you planning on bringing her here so we can roast her? Oh, can I start?" Rainbow turned to Trixie. "Were you born on that hill that buses are always careening down, 'cause that's where most accidents happen!"

Trixie growled. Then, she smirked. "No matter how much you comb your mane, no matter how many transplants you get, no matter how many times you bang a mare's brains out, you'll never be the stallion your mother is!"

Everyone took a step back in shock. With the exception of Twilight, everyone knew how sensitive about her mother's death Rainbow Dash was. Rainbow looked like she was ready to get violent.

"You wanna DANCE, braggart?!"

"Oh, Trixie knows how desperate you are for someone like her, but Trixie has much higher standards than this... psuedo-stallion."

"Oh, yeah? Well, your act stinks so bad, it makes even monsters run for shelter!"

"...How dare you?!"

"In fact, you're so unwanted, your birth certificate is an apology from a condom factory!"

...Why did I ever let Sunset show them what the Internet is?

Twilight cringed The rest of Rainbow's friends threw their heads back in laughter. Discord in particular flew up next to Fluttershy and let out an uproarious laugh.

Trixie looked livid. "And what are you laughing at!?"

Discord swished his tail. "Why, that was the most massive burn I've heard in aeons."

"Well, quit it! You'd better think before you laugh at the Trix...ie Lulamoon!"

Fluttershy flew right up in Trixie's face. "Oh, yeah? Well ha, ha."

"Quit it!"

"No. Ha, ha."

"Quit it!"

"No. Ha ha-ha ha ha."

Realization dawned on Twilight, as well as a twinge of familiarity. That's the same laugh from when... Twilight scowled in Discord's general direction. Given her newfound "confirmation", Twilight telekinetically pulled Trixie and Fluttershy apart. Before putting Fluttershy down, Twilight turned the older mare upside down before running her hoof and magic along every inch of Fluttershy's body. As Twilight went around the wings and between the legs, Fluttershy made a conscious (albeit failed) effort to keep her wings down. Once Twilight set Fluttershy down, she finally spoke again. "Now girls, let's not resort to verbal assaults."

"You know what?" came Rainbow Dash's voice. "Twilight's right. We should use physical assaults instead."

Before anyone could react, Applejack found her hair being tossed in Rainbow's wake as the prismatic Pegasus' hooves made contact with the egomaniac. Trixie was flung across the room before landing quite a bit away.

"R-Rainbow!"

"You're right, Twilight! That wasn't hard enough! Let me try again!"

"No, I mean let me explain!" Twilight grabbed Rainbow in her telekinesis before doing just that.

"I'm listening," grumbled Rainbow. This better be good.

But Trixie wasn't about to let Rainbow get the last word. "That was a fail," she said after getting back up.

"So was your dad's condom," said Rainbow Dash from inside Twilight's hold. Rainbow saw Twilight wince. Yeah... let that sink in, Twilight!

"Trixie hopes you choke on that bullshit you talk!"

"I don't talk you."

"The bitch department called. They ran out of you."

"Your family tree must be a cactus because everyone on it is a total prick!"

Once again, Twilight winced, much to Rainbow's supposed delight.

Author's Note

Sunset showing them the Internet will be its own story.