Celestia's Bad Friends

        Celestia was having her morning tea on her bedroom balcony, well-rested for once. For the first time in the past 13 months, Excalibur and Valkyr hadn’t seen fit to utterly destroy her beauty sleep. “This is too good to be true. Excalibur is going to appear any second, and ruin it like always, then Valkyr is going to trail behind, trying and failing to get him to leave me alone as usual.”

        Celestia whipped her head around, expecting Excalibur to somehow bust his head through the solid stone walls like he’s done before, always saying something like “Heard you leik sunshine” or “I SEE you sunbutt” and not leaving a hole in the wall somehow. Discord said something about a localized physical displacement field?

        “...Alright, now I’m just getting worried, it’s already past seven, where is-?” Celestia was blissfully-er, horribly interrupted by a new figure suddenly bolting out onto the balcony through her doors, and slamming them shut, somehow locking them with an oddly familiar orange glow from the Warframe’s long, back-angled horn that seemed to be somewhat similarly designed to Excalibur’s horn.

        She was somewhat similar to Valkyr in overall form, but her butt (as Celestia learned was what Valkyr referred her to her plot as) was visibly more sizable, and when she turned around, the diminutive ‘teats’ she was used to seeing on Valkyr were instead rather sizable mounds in the armor-like exo-suit. “Shhh! Please, don’t make a ruckus.” The new femme practically pleaded as she leaned back against the door, pressing the side of her helm to it to listen for something.

        “Um...pardon me, miss? Did you enter through the Dojo in my closet? I’ve already met Rhino and Trinity, but I’ve yet to meet-”

        “Tia it’s me, Excalibur.” The shapely frame quietly hissed, and looked down at her sizable chest with an aura of concern. “Well..I was at any rate, but I consumed something that turned me into...well, a Nyx frame. Rather painfully too. And I tried to transfer frames, but the way my biomass was shifted has somehow locked me like this and now Valkitty is after my ass!” Ex-Nyx hissed as she looked at her admittedly prodigious hips for reference.

        “Pfffft. You drank a gender bending potion?” Celestia laughed. “Good job, karma. You finally got the biggest thorn in my side.”

        “Shut-up! I could’ve just shifted my biomass normally and fit into a normal Nyx frame, but this is worse! No Nyx is as...alluring as I am now, and Valkitty’s going to-!”

“OH EXCALIBRO~!”

        “FUCK!”

“THAT’S MY INTENTION YOU VOLUPTUOUS BEAUTY!”

        “RUN FROM THE TSUNDERE!” Ex-Nyx screamed quite girlishly with her new higher-pitched voice and jumped off the balcony just before Valkyr came careening through the turn into Celestia’s bedroom and smashed through the locked balcony doors, using Rip Line to pull Ex-Nyx back towards her.

        “I have you now, you big titted beauty.” Valkyr said, catching Ex-Nyx mid-flight and opening up her helmet’s usually sealed mouthguard, revealing a shadowy shimmering sort of solid darkness in place of normal flesh.

        “Tia help! I don’t want to become a homosexual femme! Not like this!” Ex-Nyx pleaded as she feebly tried to use her new frame’s telekinetic abilities to pry herself free, but considering the frame is custom and not pre-set, she couldn’t get enough focus under such duress.

        “You don’t have a choice, love.” Valkyr said seductively as she forced open Ex-Nyx’s helmet around her face, revealing similarly near-featureless black semi-solid flesh and entered a deep kiss.

        “OH COME ON!” Celestia yelled at the two Warframes as they made out on the bed. “ON MY BED?! REALLY?”

        “Yes! Now begone!” Valkyr commanded, briefly breaking off from the kiss.

        “But it’s my bed! And my room!” Celestia complained. “You shouldn’t even be in here in the first-”

        “I SAID BEGONE!” Valkyr screamed, red energy seeping from her as she said begone. Celestia could feel only pure fear as she rapidly stepped back and closed the balcony door and shut the curtains before jumping off the balcony and flying to a different part of the castle.

        “She is one scary annoyance when she wants to be…” Celestia shivered. “But where did Excalibur come across a gender-bending potion in the castle?” Celestia only had to think on it for a moment before a bright red hue overcame her face in both embarrassment and worry. “LUNA!”

--]=====/

        “Sister it is NOT what it seems!” Luna practically pleaded as she tried valiantly to seal her private alchemy lab’s door from her sister’s vindictive onslaught. “We hath NO intention to do any such thing!”

        “Sister you KNOW why we can’t do that!” Celestia hissed angrily, her face still completely flushed. “Imagine the foals!”

        “BUT THINE FLANK IS SO PILLOWY SOFT!”

        Celestia face-hoofed so hard she almost hurt herself on her golden slipper. “You don’t need to be a stallion to enjoy that Lulu.”

        “But maybe tis not thee we have eyes on for once?” Luna suggested, sheepishly kicking a hoof as Celestia stopped trying to forcibly pry open her lab’s door with her magic, letting Luna relax her own horn.

        “Oh? Who’s the lucky mare?” Celestia beamed, good news for once!

        “Oh...not so much a mare….” Luna said with a nervous grin, making Celestia blink.

        “A colt-cuddler?” Celestia was rather surprised at the idea. Sure, her sister wasn’t gay, but she openly preferred the females.

        “NO! Tis Trinity we hath eyes for!” Luna vindictively countered.

        “Trinity?! Luna, you haven’t even known her for more than a month, and you’re considering a sex-change for her?” Celestia balked, only for the door to Luna’s alchemy lab to fly open to reveal the orange Trinity, who seemed to be glaring at Celestia as Luna flushed scarlet at her girlfriend deciding to blow cover.

        “So a relationship is only valued by the time known, hm?” Trinity scoffed. “Fine! Come on Lulu, let’s go do something where there’s noone to judge us.”

        “B-but the potion was-!”

        “No. Let’s just go. Let Excalibur suffer for a bit.” Trinity said, hopping onto Luna’s back.

        “B-but our plans for-.”

        “You don’t need that for us to have fun.” Trinity commented. “And there’s strap-ons for that anyways. Besides, I’m the fucking White Mage, you think I can’t do some interesting things with biology?”

        “Coming Trin~!” Luna gushed as she trotted out, being ridden by the lithe and frail frame, leaving Celestia standing stock still in her sister’s room, shaking her head after a few moments.

        “Confound these Tenno.” Celestia summoned a bottle of whiskey, taking a pull. “They drive me to drink.”