Celestia's Bad Friends

        Celestia groaned as she slowly came to, once again, with yet another hangover. “Eugh...Tia...why do you do this to yourself?” Celestia asked nobody as she rubbed her forehead with a hoof.

        “Quiet...my head hurts….” Celestia froze, and managed to open her eyes through the agony of the light to see an amorphous naked black shadowy mass that was a frameless Tenno spooning her back, the cat-like ear-shapes on the top of her head giving her away to be Valkyr.

        “Valkyr? Why’re we in bed together?” Celestia asked, annoyed, but not really caring for the moment in comparison to her pounding skull.

        “About the same reason I am I guess….” Tia then looked down towards her belly, and blushed to see who, according to her proportions, was a nude Ex-Nyx with her head between Tia’s thighs, nuzzling her teats like little pillows. “Ow...my head...what is that stuff we drank last night?”

        “Old Tenno firewater.” Came a voice from the corner of the room. Looking over, there sat an unfamiliar bipedal with pale skin and red hair, and unlike the Tenno Celestia had known, he actually had a face, with a mouth, sharp nose, and piercing green eyes. “Or as I hear of, what Tenno tradition calls the strongest form of it; Sake. Stuff can put most people out like a light after just a cup or two. You, princess, drank about seven cups…then you took a swig of demonwater… least, that’s what I heard some of your ponies call it. I think the actual name was Everfree? Needless to say; you won the drinking contest, just beating out that pink pony.” The unfamiliar biped started to get up, struggling a bit. “Have you seen my Warframe? Dunno how it happened, but someone must have taken it during the party.”

        “Warlord?” Valkyr questioned. “Is… Is that actually you? Out of your Warframe?!”

        “Yes, Commander. It’s me.” Volt Prime said as he stumbled around Celestia’s bedroom, trying not to fall over as he moved to what he hoped was a lavatory.

        “Wow...if I wasn’t for the femmes, meow~.” Valkyr joked, before groaning as she rubbed her cat ears, her now-noticed cat tail fluffing up in irritation. “I shouldn’t have accepted that challenge….”

        “Yeah, try not to move or make too many noises.” The out of Warframe Volt Prime said. “You and Excalibur had about five cups of sake. Hell, you dragged me in here, tore off my helmet, and tried forcing the bottle down my throat, then when you thought you gave me enough, tried forcing me into the bed with Celestia. And no offence Princess, but I’m not really into doing that to someone who was drunk off her ass… or being forced to do something like that. So, I shocked you and Excalibur who tried to help you, laid you both in the bed with a drunk princess, then tried to sit down and wait for my guy… As you can see, I ended up passing out. Thanks for that.”

        “Oh, so nothing intimate actually happened while I was drunk.” ‘Why do I feel disappointed?’ Celestia asked herself, before sensation began returning through her fugue, and her ears perked WAY up. ‘Oh my….’

        “Oh, I wouldn’t say that. I just shocked them. I didn’t knock them out.” Volt Prime explained. “No, I’m just not interested in bringing that up… That, and I only saw them move into position before I passed out… Kinda glad about that.”

        “I taste strawberries and… sherbet for some reason….” Ex-Nyx commented, making sniffing noises towards the blushing Celestia’s groin. “Hey...I...guess we did?”

        Celestia squirmed a bit, embarrassed, but not wanting Ex-Nyx out from between her thighs at the moment since her hips hurt and the Tenno was providing a nice pillow for her legs. “Strawberries are a favorite, so I eat them a lot, and strawberry sherbert is my favorite relaxation food...this proves it then, we had-”

        “Clem.” Came a deep-yet-sharp and slightly distorted voice from the room’s doorway. Everyone looked over to see a squat and bulky figure about the height of the average stallion at 4 feet, with bulging rounded blue-green armor plates, a huge torso, but with spindly black arms and legs, but the prominent features were it’s flowing orange banner cape and it’s disturbingly naturally angled head wearing a skull-faced helmet with glowing yellow eyes. “Grakata!”

        “Clem! You awesome clone you! How’s it hanging?” Ex-Nyx asked as she turned around, not giving a damn if she exposed her H-cup tits to the clone. Sadly she was stuck like this until someone finally decided to make a reversal potion.

        “Clem, Clem!” The apparently named Clem responded. He reached over to the side of the door out of view and pulled out a black metal suit. “Grakata!” He gestured to a specific point with a hand as he easily moved the Warframe around despite it being two feet taller than himself.

“... Is that my Warframe? Where the heck was it?!” Volt Prime questioned as he got closer, and looked at where Clem was pointing. “...Those assholes. Ladies. I’m needed for a hazing, please, don’t wait up. LOKI!” Volt Prime screamed down the hall as the sophisticated life-support/combat armor opened up in the back like something that was piloted rather than worn, and he easily jumped into it, moving before the back finished closing and bolted down the hall faster than thunder.

The three naked ladies all stared out the door as Clem simply stood by, apparently not caring for the show. “Loki messed with the boss’s Warframe? He’s in for it now.” Ex-Nyx said as she laid her featureless head back on Celestia’s inner thigh.

“Tell me about it. Tia, I’m going back to sleep, thanks for being my pillow.” Valkyr mumbled as she hugged Celestia’s barrel again.

“...Buck it, I’m still tired.” Thus Tia went back to sleep to sleep off her hangover, let the advisors run the country for a day.

---]=======/

        “WHY would you do this?!” Celestia pleaded of the honestly baffled Written Rule, who was her Head of Council, and thus, ran the country when she or her sister was unavailable. Luna had apparently vanished with Trinity somewhere, and with Celestia indisposed, Written Rule had done his best in the capacity entrusted to him.

        Then again, she overestimated the power the Tenno apparently had in terms of the amount of stupidity they can cause.

        “Princess, I know it’s a rather rash and unexpected thing to do, but the rest of the Equestrian Council all vouched for the idea and I didn’t see any issue with it….” The white-coated and orange-maned unicorn weakly informed as he fluffed his suit’s poofy collar.

        “But to sign a trade agreement out of the blue with an extraterrestrial on the good word of nobody but Volt Prime?!” Celestia practically squeaked. “I wanted to ensure whatever we did on that front was to our advantage! PLEASE tell me you at least ensured we wouldn’t be cheated!”

        “Princess, I understand your concern, but Volt Prime assured me that Darvo is a trustworthy salesman.” Written Rule soothed as Clem exited the council chamber to join them in the hallway.

        “Clem!”

        “And the rather odd fellow was also quite persuasive.” Written reinforced.

        “Clem! Grakata!”

        “He literally only says TWO WORDS!” Celestia balked, getting Written Rule to blush and kick a hoof. “And how in Faust’s name do you even get ANYTHING from what he’s saying?!”

        “...”

        “You don’t, do you?”

        “I don’t know! He’s just SO COOL!” Written boasts, his voice full of admiration for the short clone. “I-I can’t even explain it! I just, admire him, for some inexplicable reason!”

        “Grakata!” Clem yelled, holding up his twin Grakatas.

        “And he’s got those… things! You have to admit, they’re cool.” Written persuaded.

        “... Clem? Could you go get me Volt Prime?”

        “Clem.” Clem nodded and took off down the hall at speeds she’d only seen pegasi and Tenno move at before.

        “...And now that he’s gone, I oddly don’t feel as excited or cheerful for some reason….” Written mused, making Celestia hum.

        “He seems to have an aura of joy and determination about him now that I think of it, just what has that little thing been through to gain that sort of ability?” Celestia mused as well.

        “Well that’s complicated and really a painful subject.” A deep, grainy voice stated out of thin air, shocking Tia and Written as they turned to see a sort of floating metal object with a scratchy screen on it displaying a Tenno-shaped being that looked vaguely alike to Volt Prime out of his armor in the fact he had a face of similar base structure. “Clem has been through a lot. Little guy wants to be a Tenno so bad he even transferred his brain into a computer program so he’d have the time to do it. That’s not even the original Clem. Just his latest ‘Frame’ so to say.”

        “Wait, what?”

        “Clem actually died several months ago, but he managed to convince me to transfer him into a proxy as his body was failing like all clones are doomed to. So Clem is Clem, and now he’s going to be around to make things brighter for everyone as long as he wants. It’s a depressing sort of immortality. Since the soul is still an unknown thing, we don’t know if he’s REALLY still alive, but his mind is all there.”

        “I sensed a soul, so he’s definitely alive.” Celestia commented curiously, shaking her head. “Who are you?”

        “Pardon my levity, your Majesty. I am your new business partner; Darvo.”