As if my insomnia wasn't already crippling enough...
"Hello, my name is Forlorn Fate. Just call me Fae, I'd prefer this conversation not to last longer than necessary. I recently moved to Ponyville from Manehatten. There are things I can do, that I would rather not discuss right now. It would be a drag if word got out about it."
"After many months of being a recluse, the funds are no longer there to support my slothy lifestyle. I posted an ad for a roommate in an attempt to lessen the amount of work needed to pay rent. What I got was noisy and hyperactive. Before I knew it, I had many more roommates. What's worse is that I am apparently in some sort of a harem now. I'll have to play my cards just right to avoid certain doom. Being social is too much effort."
"At least dealing with situations is easy enough. Excluding the few ponies who might look over my shoulder and read this, most ponies are idiots. Wielding my metaphorical logic hammer, there are few who can best me with words. What I can't accomplish with words, I could easily do IF I didn't need to keep this troublesome secret."
"My life has become quite chaotic recently. I miss the days in which I could go an entire day without hearing or seeing anypony. Unless I stumble upon a fortune, that life is behind me. Money has never been something that I have had much luck in. It's almost as if someone or something is trying to prevent me from paying rent. It's annoying."