Author's Note

Aranea POV.

Intermission: Wedding Train of Thought

I said it with a voice that was my own, and yet not. I said it with clarity, with finality. I heard myself say it more than I had actually said it. I had said 'no'.

I had said the exact opposite of what we both wished to hear.

He did not move at first. A tear fell onto the box as his hand began to shake. The box fell to the floor, the ring rolling out of it from the impact. Wordlessly, he returned to his feet. Without raising his head or making objections he walked to the door. He was broken. I had never seen an enemy so defeated as my lover.

He left, and I was powerless to stop him.

The princesses were dumbstruck. “Do you need time to talk to him?” I wanted to, by all that any being could hold sacred I wanted to. I could not.

“We must finish this. A new standardization of citizenship forms, prices of restitution, amendments to immigration and emigration between our nations. There is much left to do.” I could not see clearly for the veil of tears. Through this blurred vision, I saw myself. I swiftly removed the clothing and shifted to my natural form. I could not see the body that brought Nohbodi and myself together. Not now. “Quickly, if possible.”

They stared for a moment, and called for the paperwork and files to be sent as fast as possible. Both of them had mist in their eyes as well. They understood. They had been forced to choose their responsibilities over themselves in the past. They knew this pain.

I would not have wished this pain on Chrysalis herself.

The amendments and finalization thereof took hours. Despite knowing better, it seemed as years. They were sympathetic to this plight. They showed impressive kindness in what they offered. My changelings would be integrated into society. They would have every right a pony has. They will hold jobs, they will own property, they will pay taxes, they will freely find love. They will have love.

Immediately after everything was agreed upon, I left them as well. The dress remained on the floor, and I remained in my changeling body. I must find Nohbodi. I must explain my answer.

Why could he have not waited? A matter of weeks, perhaps even days, perhaps even hours, would have changed my answer. I could not agree to such a proposal now. Not yet.

When I had said that fateful word, I spoke with not my own voice. I spoke with the voice of the hive. Within not only my station, but my very being, there is a directive. As queen, I must ensure the safety and prosperity of the hive. I know that he would not abuse his influence. Yet, he is only one. I do not know all of him. I do not know if he alone can supply all my children with life. I do not even know his life-span. Until the survival of all is a certainty, I cannot agree to imbue him with such a share of leadership. For all the realizations of sentience after the fall of Chrysalis, for all that was given me by the hive, for all I attempted to deny the truth...

As long as I speak for the hive, I will never have complete free will. I must watch over all changelings.

No matter the cost to myself.

I must find him quickly. If I do not, I will be forced to return to Ponyville, to inform Butterfly and record the progress of the search efforts. I spread my wings and took to the skies. All below me were scrutinized. I landed at the Canterlot gates. I inquired to the guards if they had seen Nohbodi returning.

“We did see Nohbodi, queen Aranea. He was at the train depot a couple of hours ago.” This was a troubling development. There was still hope, hope to explain the situation, hope to retain him until my answer could change. The bits were left at the castle owned by Twilight Sparkle, and with no currency he would not have taken it. My time was running out before I was impelled to return. I took to the air once again and arrived, taking a place at the window of the ticket-seller. Several ponies were incensed at the 'line-cutting'. I would be forced to move back, had not recent diplomatic immunity been granted. Still, I must take this quickly, before damage is done to non-royal pony-changeling relations.

“Please, sir. Has the human Nohbodi been here recently?”

The stallion looked up at me with surprise, and checked his recordings of transactions. “Uh, yes ma'am … He purchased a ticket-” Oh no. The bits he had taken for the ring. There must have been an amount left in his possession. “On the number twelve. It left an hour forty-seven ago for it's destination. Long gone now, I'm afraid.”

“Did he reveal any information?” I must return soon, though once circumstances and fate are assured I may return to find him.

“Said something about 'Seen it before. They don't need me anymore.' or something like that before getting on the train.”

“What was the destination?”

The stallion shuffled through some papers. “The Crystal Empire.”

Time was up. I flew back to Ponyville, that scene of my answer playing repeatedly within my memory. I had a hole forming. It was a space within my heart. I was required to return immediately. The hive had given me no more time to search. Even if it had, I would not have been able to locate him in that distance within that time. He believed that I had used him. How many had taken advantage of him during his time on Earth to provoke such a reaction? I returned to the castle of Twilight and the former elements of harmony. Butterfly greeted me warmly. I relayed the information of our victory within the courts for peace. She requested information on the whereabouts of Nohbodi. I would not answer. It was not necessary for her to know, a small mercy from the hive.

I settled in the study with Twilight, to discuss the search efforts for the remaining changelings. Spike had a tea set prepared for us both. Only Twilight took any. She explained the scope and range of the efforts, with a marked map of Equestria denoting the current and few previous places covered. Spike let out a green mist while apparently eructing.

“Twilight! It's from the princesses!” he handed the materialized scroll to Twilight Sparkle. She read over with with interest, followed by concern.

“Aranea – sorry, queen Aranea.”

“The title holds no key importance here, princess Twilight Sparkle.”

“Thanks. The princesses were told that Nohbodi was on a train to the Crystal Empire by the station after you asked about it.” I listened intently. “It says on the outskirts of the border the train hit a cluster of shadow crystals shifted by a storm earlier. It was badly derailed. There's a rescue team on the way, but...”

“But what Twilight?”

“From the severity, they aren't expecting survivors.” It had happened. In the course of protecting the interests of the hive, I had lost everything else.

I had lost him.