Why Humans Shouldn't be Allowed in Equestria

With the princesses taking care of finding the remaining changelings – and actually being someone we could trust with them – we took the time to actually rest a bit. Aranea and I spent plenty of time together, but I couldn't do anything. Every time the idea of our couplings came up, the idea of her age came up too. She had well enough emotion directed at her to keep her full, so it didn't cause any serious problems.

Despite her understanding the concept of love, and that it bothered her too that I wasn't willing, we accepted it as a temporary trouble. She was waiting for me to understand it like she understood feeling love. I was waiting for some way to rationalize it. The original idea was to petition the princesses to make a change in the law for changelings. An exception since they were 'born' adults meant that what kept eating at me wasn't really a part of it. There was a lot of personal mind games involved to keep things going.

The time passed slowly, but only a couple of things really happened overall. The only notable exception was that Butterfly became whole over that time. She was so happy. Much like Aranea, the idea had never really occurred to her. The idea of having a stable life, of having a family.

A family...

The other was that construction began on the house. It wasn't a palace, but we didn't need anything like that. Two stories, with an attic and a cellar. Well, the cellar was going to be something like a man-cave, though Equestria was missing some key elements. Like booze, games, TV... There was a place or two that had pinup-style posters, but it just didn't work when they were all ponies. I never cared who the Wonderbolts were, but apparently they were considered really hot. If I saw more ladies' track events I might have had an idea. I defaulted to the Williams sisters, which still gave a good idea. Maybe it'll be just a good storage space. Everything else was classic Equestrian, which was actually pretty close to oldschool americana. Fireplace, furniture, you get the idea. It was going to take a while, but with things really getting underway that would do.

With three days to go, I got a notice from the jeweler. By request it was sealed, to be opened only by me. He was finished with the first ring. I excused myself and ran over again. It looked brilliant, surpassing anything I'd seen. I don't know what they use to extract gems and ores, besides magic of course, but apparently purity isn't a challenge. I looked it over. I couldn't tell at a glance, but it seemed like it was the right size. It had better be. I thanked him profusely and pocketed the small flip-box. I had to get back fast. Doubt that Aranea knew what I was doing yet. No one had ever tried to marry a changeling before.

Would she agree? She knows the concept of marriage just like love, but getting used to understanding an idea that defies proper explanation must be hard. It was, I know. Good thing she didn't do the same variety of head-blanking that I did. Me and Zecora might have both thought she was dead, and it would've happened. Any amount of time is worth it to let her figure it out instead of that.

She would say yes anyway, even if she didn't quite get it by the time it's asked. She never says no to me. I suddenly felt kind of bad about it, that being the only one to show her so many things, I have more control than I should. It wasn't intentional. I don't play mind games or try to exert this control. She just hangs on to everything I say. I shook this other unpleasant line of thinking off before it could argue with the one I've been fighting with already. Making it back, I had the same answer as before. Just a smile and “You'll see.”

The two weeks passed. To be more accurate, it was one week and six days. We were taking the train the day before. The alarms went off again. The guards came out again. At least the papers worked this time.

In Canterlot's royal castle we were welcomed by the princesses. The talks were to take place in the royal palace, in a dignitary's – That is, fancier – parlor. So it was built on what we already knew, in multiple senses of the word. We were ushered in and seated, while the princesses came in from opposite doors. All seated, and with various refreshments on a long table between us, we began.

Much like in court, I was only there to be there. Changelings did everything by some gestalt knowledge of who did what, and official stations were unheard of. This meant that I couldn't be dubbed a vizier or prime minister or any other title that would give me a voice. Trying to do that now would be dealing in bad faith, and therefore 'cheating'. It would probably invalidate any agreement, and the risk was far too great. Aranea knew way more than me about history, politics, and pretty much everything else involved, so I just kept my mouth shut and held onto her. It was all up to Aranea now.

Celestia began. It looked like Luna would've started it, but there was a shift in royal decorum during her absence. This hasn't been done in a couple hundred years, but was still far more genteel than giving conditions to a surrendered army. Unfortunately, changelings have been in just such a state due to Chrysalis fucking everything up.

A royal scribe was in attendance, transcribing all that was said to finalize into the international contract between us.

“In accordance with the laws of international relations relevant to Equestria, we gather here to discuss terms of peace with the Changeling Empire. By reaching an agreement via these strictures, all involved in these talks:

Celestia, solar princess and co-regent of Equestria

Luna, lunar princess and co-regent of Equestrian

Aranea, queen of the Changeling Empire

Will hold to said agreement hereafter, in the interest of all parties involved.”

That scribe was good. At the speed of speech she copied it all down, managing several pens to keep the ink at the optimum tone. It was rather mesmerizing really. All three of them nodded in tandem, and the real work began.

Most of the rest was the same, sans the humiliation of fielding a defeated army. Luna was apparently briefed on this, and continued with the next point.

“Our two nations have had dark times betwixt them, and the time for healing has come. We will now set forth conditions of peace to be agreed upon by all involved. As the declared victors, Equestria will set forth the first condition.” Alright, almost all mentions of defeated armies. Luna probably enjoyed that a bit too much, but it was still apparently in there, even after all this time. Not like we could argue. The changelings were technically in a position of surrender, antiquated or modern. “The first condition of peace from Equestria is the surrender of the leader of those responsible for the actions suffered – queen Chrysalis of the Changeling Empire.”

Aranea remained calm. “As current queen of the Changeling Empire, we agree to your condition. The previous queen, Chrysalis, has reneged any right to rule, and will be held accountable for her role in the conflicts involving both our parties. Her current whereabouts are unknown, but you have my assurances that if she is found to be alive, she will be extradited to the proper courts to face trial for her crimes against Equestria.” Everyone there assumed she was dead, so this wasn't a surprise.

Celestia replied, finishing Luna's query. “Understanding the given situation, all parties involved accept this term. The current queen of the Changeling Empire is not to be held personally accountable, provided she aids the location and capture of the previous regent if former queen Chrysalis is discovered to be alive, or in any other state fit to receive judgement.”

A triad of nods gave assent to the issue.

Aranea started her turn. She knew what she was doing. Scattered changelings must've been all over the world before the invasion, or at least involved in a nation that held similar talks. “As current queen of the Changeling Empire, it is set as a condition that changelings residing within Equestrian borders are recognized to have not been acting of their own free will, being forced as extensions of the previous queen, and therefore leniency is required regarding their actions during the invasion of Canterlot. Exceptions are to be made for any crime committed afterwards while in a state of free will, as well as previous queen Chrysalis being exempted from this leniency due to her actions, the only one made in free will and of a directive well-considered an affront to peace, as accorded by former agreements.”

Luna frowned at the idea. Her and Celestia whispered to each other for a short time. Acquiescing to her elder sister, Luna answered.

“As the members of the Changeling Empire, with the specific exception of former queen Chrysalis, have not acted within their own accord and free will, this condition, including all noted exceptions, is agreed upon.”

A trio of nods, with the scribe denoting the action at it's place.

Luna continued, perhaps being given a turn at her idea for letting Celestia have the previous.

“In restitution the Changeling Empire, according to their ability, will pay restitution in accordance with the loss of life and property caused by the invasion of Canterlot, as per the current rate of exchange and property values of all involved. A temporary lien will be structured to each citizen, likewise as according to their ability, until said debt is paid.” There actually wasn't much in the way of either, since the invasion was stopped almost immediately after the attack began.

“We, as representatives of the Changeling Empire, request at this time an accounting of said losses.” A piece of paper with the numerical equivalents – how the hell does anyone put a number on lives, no matter how few? - was given to Aranea. She showed it to me. It was a big number, but far less than military action on Earth would've racked up. Good thing it was stopped short when Chrysalis was in charge. We looked at each other and I nodded. She apparently agreed with me.

“The Changeling Empire agrees with the requirement of restitution, as per our ability. Said ability will increase in the future, fortune and industry permitting, for the payment thereof to complete the task set before us in a reasonable time-frame.” With the pile of bits already allocated to the house, it was going to take a while. Either way, we were both used to being broke. Given enough to live on would be fine for a temporary scenario.

Nods all around.

Her turn came up again. “With all requirements and exceptions laid out by previous agreements, changelings currently located and/or living in Equestria at the time of this agreement shall be afforded citizenship, provided information given by truthful testimony as to previous actions within their knowledge, and required restitution for any outstanding debts incurred are paid. This dual citizenship will require adherence to laws of their nation of residence.”

More nods, and more work for the scribe. I'd have thought that would've been more difficult, but taxes are a powerful thing.

“The nation of Equestria has no further requirements or demands for peace, save that which has been laid out for said purpose.”

“The Changeling Empire has no further requirements or demands for peace, save that which has been laid out for said purpose.”

The scribe finished the forms, and rapidly put them into triplicate. One for the royal sisters, one for Aranea, and one for the archives. Signatures were repeated across the multiples. I looked at Aranea. She figured it out and stated “Now that peace agreements are completed, my advisor Nohbodi would like to address the court.” They all turned to me, and I bowed in turn.

“As changeling physiology differs from both pony and human-” I'm not stupid, I just don't have a reason to use long words often. “They are, by the Equestrian calendar, far younger than their bodies and minds would suggest. I request of the court a dispensation of the law regarding them and Equestrian law about age and various jobs and activities requiring a minimum age.”

Celestia and Luna looked at Aranea for a moment. “Are there legal issues involving age in which changelings would differ from pony?”

“Yes princesses. Among others, our couplings are technically illegal, as my physical age according to the Equestrian calendar falls well below the age of consent.”

And that's how I was outed as a technical pedophile.

“What, precisely, is your numerical age according to the Equestrian calendar?”

“Approximately three, princesses.”

They looked at her, then me, then back to her in some degree of stoic surprise. The diarchs looked at each other for a moment, and then announced the verdict.

“We agree that an exemption, due to physical and mental maturity of the involved, is afforded to changelings with said mental and physical capabilities for the purpose of reasonable and willing activities.” That was all I needed to hear.

I wondered about if I should do this constantly. I know that it hasn't been that long, especially for a human. There should be more time. I've been conned too many times to jump at the chance. But this... this was different. Everything, everyone was honest here. This was, in all honesty, the biggest chance for the best outcome I could ever have. I kept a hand in my pocket, stroking the box with a finger.

“With that said, and all previous agreements recorded for posterity, is there any remaining business among the parties involved?”

I stood up from my chair. “There's one more piece of business, your majesties. I need witnesses for this.” They looked on with interest as I faced Aranea.

I pulled the flip-box from my pocket and got down on one knee before her. Opening it to reveal the ring, I announced my request.

“Queen Aranea, will you marry me?” The princesses stood silently.

Aranea froze in place, and began to tear up. This was it. It's been a short time, I know. But everything that's happened has been for both of us, twist of fate or not. I waited for the answer. The word that would change our lives forever. She must've been held up by feeling intense emotions being so new to her. Her voice sounded hollow, much closer to the flat droning way she spoke when we first met.

“...No.”