Why Humans Shouldn't be Allowed in Equestria

Everything was set up for me to leave. In fact, it was set for me to retire. Bitters, the earth pony-shaped changeling of the original train-ride three, had been my foreman since I began business. He was to officially take over next month. In turn I was going to officially announce my retirement, and settle into the finally-completed house. The wedding of Butterfly was in Ponyville, and I was on my way there soon.

It was going to be impressive, a royal wedding of sorts. In truth, it kind of was. With her increase in power, Butterfly was basically a sub-queen or duchess, like Sangria was. All the local royalty were coming along as guests. Shining Armor, Cadence, and Sangria. I was going too, along with Bitters and Rising Dough. Rising Dough was the third of the original. She did her own thing as, obviously enough, a baker. We haven't kept in contact like the rest, but the odd letter comes through. She'd been working on beer bread recipes, and was doing well for herself. In fact, she told me she was going to propose to her marefriend next week. So many weddings lately, not that it's a bad thing.

The train was filled with excited chatter about the impending wedding of Butterfly and Limestone. Lime was an owner of another rock farm, and a distant relative of the Pies by his grandparents' marriage. Looks like changelings were going to be tied to ponies even more closely now, with intermarriage between changeling royalty and an effective relation of Pinkie. From what I'd heard on the train, Pinkie went all-out because of that. Well, she'd go all-out for anything, but you get the idea.

The entire car we were in was filled with guests, both invited specifically and by a general open invitation. Nearly all the changelings were here actually. No doubt all of them in Ponyville and probably Equestria were going to be there too.

Half of Ponyville's space was dedicated to rooming this many folks. Every hotel was full, and a goodly number with extra beds were offering space. I've been here for... I don't really know. A year at least, maybe a little more, and it still surprised me how kind everyone could be. Most of them anyway. We've had a few villains. I should know.

I'm one of them.

I followed the others in silence after that thought, to the invited seating arrangements.

“Nohbodi?” Sangria picked up on it.

“It's nothing.”

“That means it is something.”

I looked at her with a feeble smile. “I'll be fine.”

I took my place next to Aranea in the assigned seating. Sangria was next to me from there. They looked at each other for a while, followed by sharing a smile between them. Aranea put her arm around my shoulder. I couldn't help but join them in smiling. We came here for a wedding, not for me moping around.

This one was headed by princess Luna. She had volunteered with ease to officiate this one. Plus she was standing royalty here, even with the odd proliferation of royalty that was here in general. Guess you had to outrank the ones you were marrying together or something. Or I'm overthinking it.

“Beloved guests, both ponies and changelings, we are gathered her for a most joyous occasion!” Of course she was using the royal Canterlot voice. This time it really needed to carry that far. “We are here to bind together in matrimony Butterfly, scion of the Changeling Empire, and her betrothed, Limestone.”

A pause was granted for the cheers of the crowd. Man, I'd never seen anything like it.

“Butterfly, do you take this pony through all your times, in sickness and health, in need and plenty, in love and life, as long as you both shall live?”

She stood proudly, misty-eyed at the knowledge of what she was about to experience. “I do.”

“Limestone, do you take this changeling through all your times, in sickness and health, in need and plenty, in love and life, as long as you both shall live?”

Limestone looked up at his taller bride-to-be with a smile that defied calculation. “I do.”

“Is there any being in attendance that can procure a reason that these two should not be wed? Speak now, or forever hold your peace.”

Nobody every interrupts here. Makes me wonder why they still have it in there.

“Then by my powers as lunar princess and co-regent of Equestria, I now pronounce you wife and husband!”

Cheers erupted throughout the entire city as the moved in for the nuptial kiss. Both lasted longer than breath should have allowed. Blushes replaced the cheers as those in attendance had to give up the noise. You couldn't tell the difference between being out of air, and knowing what that kiss meant when it came to their faces.

A moment of appreciation for the scene before us allowed breath to be regained. Once everyone was back to guaranteed consciousness, Pinkie jumped from her seat to a vertical distance that only she could do. “Now let's get this wedding party started!”

Cheers came again as ponies impatiently waited for the couple to walk back down the isle to the absolutely massive cake. No amount was enough in a single cake for this crowd. Several bakers had tables full of themed cakes for everyone else. I, of course, had a loaded, magically-refrigerated train behind ours with the libations. My special wine wasn't on sale, but I did have several bottles. One of which was gifted to the couple, along with the regular present.

Everyone came up in turns to offer their congratulations to the new pair, and filtered off to talk with friends or family. I had the time to catch up with Sky Sprinkle. She'd been growing up, and was a burgeoning master of kinetic magic. We filled each other in on (Most) of what had happened. Nice kid. I should start keeping in touch more. Cake after cake was demolished, beer after beer was consumed, and a great time was had by all. Even though the relations to the Pies were distant at best, everyone gladly accepted it as an intermarriage between the 'new' Changeling Empire and Equestria. It was a sign of a better world to come.

Aranea and Sangria were talking with the princesses, plus Shining Armor. They nodded in unison at something. Then she turned around and face me from their distance. The shout rang out through the air, stopping several in earshot.

“Nohbodi!” I turned towards her as she started moving.

“The time has come to pay your debt for your actions, both for myself and for all changelings!”

Here? Oh no... Everything was about to go to hell real fast. I'd feel sorry for the new couple if I wasn't scared shitless at the moment. A swath of ponies quickly moved to give the queen a clear line to me.

This was it. This was going to be devastating. I didn't know what she would demand of me. It was more than I'd anticipated, to be in this huge crowd when it happened. She reached me from across the expanse. “You had declared you would assent to anything I wished of you.”

I was shaking. “I-I did.” The crowd stared in rapt attention at the scene. She stared me down from her taller perspective. She was human, clad in a royal dress.

She was intimidating.

She was terrifying.

She was beautiful.

“What c-can I do for you?” I froze in place. Here it comes...

She pulled a small box from within her dress and held it forward. With a flick of a finger, it opened in front of me.

It was the engagement ring from that fateful day.

“You can say 'yes'.”