Author's Note

This takes place partially parallel with "Business Acumen", beginning about 3 months in and ending slightly after.

Visitations

About once a month during this time, I'd get a visit from Aranea and Sangria. We'd all talk about how the changelings were doing. I wasn't officially part of it, at least not anymore, but I had the strongest ties to them of anyone else.

While Aranea was here, Butterfly was in charge in Equestria. They showed me a picture of her, which is also now in my office. She'd had the same boost that Sangria had. It wasn't quite as noticeable to me without seeing her in person, but it was there. She elected to keep a changeling form as her default. Poor gal still had the scars, even though she healed and grew. She looked tough, but she was just as caring as could be. Just as Aranea's magic had refocused on defenses, Butterfly tended towards healing. I think she chose to keep the scars. She was a living example of forgiveness and life. She'd just gotten engaged too. I was cordially invited to the wedding. Of course I would attend. It was going to take place a few months from now, plenty of time to plan.

The next month, there was news of another wedding, a more immediate one. Aurora had, long ago, lost her husband to crystal radiation. Back when the changelings were in hiding, a changeling had willingly outed himself with the offer of reliving her time with her husband. It wasn't the same – she would've known soon enough, even if he tried to hide it. All the same, they grew to really love each other, just as strongly. After he didn't have to hide anymore, he took a form similar to her husband. He kept it different enough that he wasn't attempting to hide it anymore. He proposed the same day the law was passed. Taking the name Borealis, they were wed in front of the crystal palace. Sangria officiated it, while Aranea and I were welcome guests. It was the first open changeling-pony marriage in the Empire. Another picture for the office.

Next month there wasn't much changeling news. We talked mostly finances that time. All the new brews had been approved and travel routes for delivery were set. There wasn't much left for me to do but mind a house that was being built. I would've had one sooner, but I had a little place in the brewery that was good enough, after the barracks-style station from crystal disposal was retrofitted into apartments. Aranea's house had been complete for a couple of months now, and everything was going well. I told her I would visit at the wedding.

Next month I was alone with Aranea. Sangria was asked to officiate another wedding. This one was pony-pony. It was a nice show for relations. Relations were good in general, but there were always a few that wouldn't let go of the past. Aranea and I hugged.

“I missed these times with you, Nohbodi.”

“Me too. Listen, I'm still sorry about messing it up and not trusting you.” I didn't mean to say that last part. From time to time I remember it still. We'd grown closer again over the past few months, but it was still professional. I was too scared to try anything besides trying to make it right. “Is there anything I can do to make it up?”

“For now, let us just enjoy our time together. Collect some of your beverages, and we will talk.”

I grabbed a sampler pack and a bottle of special. I wasn't selling that. It was a type of crystal-berry wine I had been making for myself, only for special occasions. I only tried enough to get it right, and it's never been used for its purpose until now. We retired to a patio out back that would host tastings during the day. I put out the glasses and poured the wine before I even considered the beer.

“What is this new substance?”

“A kind of wine I've been working on.”

“Oh. When will it be available for public purchase?”

“It won't. Personal thing, only for special occasions.” I handed her a glass. “Like this.”

It was a little strong, but not harsh. We both enjoyed it and talked about the past. Then the present. Then the future.

“Do you and Sangria enjoy the company of each other?”

“She's a good friend.” We would hug when we met each other, but I haven't laid with her since that one time.

“You care about her deeply.”

“I do.” Was this going where I think it was?

“You have not coupled with her again?” Yep, that direction.

“No.”

“Why do you not, as you might say, 'go for it'?”

I looked up at her, then back to the glass. I cared for Sangria, but I loved Aranea. I didn't want to hurt her again, now that I knew I was so wrong, now that some days I can't seem to forget. I was in a holding pattern, focusing on work and changelings in general to keep myself from it. I couldn't do a thing about either. And I couldn't lie to her. “You know why.”

“Nohbodi. Look up.” I obeyed her command. The very moment my eyes met hers, she lunged forward.

And kissed me.

We held onto that kiss for as long as we could hold our breath. On release she came over and wrapped her arms around me from behind, as I'd done long ago. “I know that you still love me. You know that I still love you. Let us forget the details for now.” She knew my worry, and she knew that I wouldn't – couldn't – do anything about it. She was taking the initiative. That night...

We were together again.

It wasn't feeding, it was an expression. She'd forgiven me. For everything that's happened, for all the times I let my perception cause trouble, she would still forgive me.

But I couldn't forgive myself.

We laid there after that, staring up at the stars, in the open air. It was good that no one could've seen us back there at this hour. In the silence I thought on what had just happened. There was no question that I loved her. But to not give her the same benefit of the doubt she gave me. There was no forgiving that. The worry was noticed again.

“You need not think on such things Nohbodi. Time has repaired such small wounds, and you need no renumeration.”

“Maybe. But I still can't forgive myself for being so stupid.” I turned on my side, facing her. “If there's anything I can do, just tell me. Anything.”

Aranea thought about it. There was no just forgiving me, she knew that. I'd been beating myself up over it since it happened, whenever I had the time from work to think. “Very well. I will ensure you obey a very important command to me, so as to fulfill that promise.” I was kind of scared at that. We both knew that it would have to be something big. Something life-changing. Something I wouldn't dare do on my own. “Do not be so afraid Nohbodi, you will know in due time.”

“You will see.”