chapter 1

You know, out of all the ways I could have showed up in this weird-ass place, this certainly was not the best. I could have came in through a giant electrified portal, launching myself out of it and sliding right into Ponyville on my knees leaving trails of fire behind me. Alas, it was not to be. Instead I'm stuck having to tell everyone that I fell out of the sky.

Yeah, I fell out of the sky. Real impressive, right? I meant that sarcastically. The only way that would be impressive is if I wasn't immortal and thus would have had some chance of dying when I hit the ground. But nope, let's instead have forty broken bones and a side order of immense amounts of pain. Seriously, if you thought breaking a bone was painful, try having it fuse back together at the same speed. You don't know true pain until you have a Wolverine-style healing factor.

Of course, you're all probably in the dark right now as to what in the hell I'm talking about. So let me introduce myself. I'm George Trestale, god of... something. See, I haven't figured that part out yet. I have immortality and some seriously kickass magical powers, yet I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Apparently speaking, I'm some kind of deity, but without any real title. So I'm stuck here trying to find what the hell my purpose is in this world, and why I'm here in the first place.

Did I mention I also don't have any memories of anything before this place? Yeah, convenient. If I'm in some kind of story, then hey author, you're fucking lazy!

Well, anyway, if you're here then you probably want to hear my story. It all started a few months ago, right outside a town called... eugh... "Ponyville". So cliche.