New Life After Old

And back to the MC's POV

"Hi, I'm Spike! What's your name?"

But the word fell on deaf ears, as his focus was on the looks the two hybrid Pegasus-unicorns were giving him.

'OHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAPI'MFRIGGINSCREWED!!!!!!!! OH CRAP, THEY'RE BLUSHING AND THEIR EYES LOOK HUNGRY!!!!!!! So, basically, fangirls at Comic-Con. And all the other -cons I ever went to. Some of them even had the nerve to ask me out on a date, two right in front of my wife! And then there's that one that- I kid you not- PROPOSED to me. Yeah, they got banned for life. And got restricting orders from me in ten countries, except for the one that proposed to me. She got them in every country, punishable by death. So, what do YOU think happened to her?'

The first two sentences constantly repeated after that.

"I... have no name. No, I don't have amnesia. But, compared to YOUR names, mine is weird."

"Ah, just tell us it!"

"Max."

Then the rest of the mane six came in. Their thoughts are presented here.

Applejack's first. 'Cause logic.

'He looks sweeter than grannies Apple Pie. 'Nuff said. OH AH WANT 'IM!'

Now, Rainbow Dash's.

'I'd give up every Daring Doo book in the world for him. Or would I?.. Yeah, I probably would.'

Now, Rarity's.

'GET HIM IN MY BEST SUIT!!!!!!! (Arnold Schwarzenegger voice) NOW!!!!!!!!! (Back to Rarity's voice) Wait, who was that in my head? (Arnold Schwarzenegger again) GET TO THE CHOPPA!!!!! I am the terminator. Asta la vista, baby. Come with me if you want to live. (Real fact incoming) I HAVE A BEETLE NAMED AFTER ME!!!!!'

Now, Fluttershy's.

'Oh... my... His blue eyes are so beautiful- OH THE HORRORS HE'S SEEN!'

Now, Pinkie Pie's.

'YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECUPCAKESCUPCAKESCUPCAKES YAAAAAAAAAY NEW FRIEND PAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRTEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!'

The rest was completely unintelligible.

And back to the MC.

'OH GOSH THEY'RE ALL BLUSHING AND HUNGRY EYED!!!!! Except for the hyper pink one.'

And suddenly, Dashie screwed up. She forcefully kissed him.

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMFFFFFFF!"

"Deploying Spook. Spook deployed, ready for action. IT'S CLOAKER TIME!!!!"

Dash suddenly sprang off him.

"Nu, security, security nuuuuuuuuuuu!"

And then he beat her with a stick.

Now, how 'bout the princesses thoughts?

First Twilight, because mane six.

'Okay, be strong, you're not attracted to him. OH WHO AM I KIDDING JUST LET IT ALL OUT I LOVE HIM!!!!!!'

And now, Celestia's.

'I need him to myself, but the burns will ruin that. Ooh! Healing magic from me will fix that! He's going to (Royal Canterlot voice) LOVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!'

"Here, I'll fix you up, we- I need to get some answers out of him. Alone. I can heal his burns in a second, so please leave."

Until now, Max was still recovering from the Dash. Until now.

A collective "Fine," with a sigh left the group. Except for Dash and Pinkie.

Pinkie be like "Okey Dokey Lokey!" and Dash was being thrown out the window, every single bone broken.

Loki was outside, thinking 'HOW THE $@#% DID THAT PINK HORSE KNOW I WAS OUT HERE?'

But Thor had heard this and Loki was struck by lightning.

Pinkie saw this and said; "Hi Loki!" but when he said he hated cupcakes and parties, Pinkie used her hyper-physics-denying powers and turned him into a cupcake.

Celestia was still staring at Max like he was a cake and she hadn't eaten since breakfast yesterday.

"Out. Now."

The others walked out the door but Pinkie denied physics again, teleported without magic to the ground and ate what used to be Loki whole.

After she healed him, she started to pull off the blanket, but he kicked her out the window like this was Sparta and ran faster than Pinkie for a cupcake party.