Living with Twilight Sparkle is Weird
A Blooming Rude Awakening
Previous ChapterNext ChapterIt’s early morning when you finally wake up. Birds and the sun are almost down from the top of the sky through your open window. Twilight has, for some reason, decided not to wake you up by jumping directly onto your genitals, as she sometimes does, so you've slept well after that crazy party last night. And, to your happy surprise, your hangover is not nearly as bad as you thought it would be. Really, this whole new living in Equestria thing isn't so bad after all.
You cat is sleeping peacefully next to you, its warmth seeping through the blanket against your back. You smile to yourself and push your back a little closer to your kitty and-
Wait. You don’t have a cat.
...
With a flourish of sheets you toss back the covers.
Curled there is a small yellowish pony with red hair. She fidgets listlessly in dream and smiles to herself. You instantly try to remember how that party last night went down, but nothing comes to mind. There's just this child pony. Here. Alone.
“That the ever-loving fuck is this?!”
The pony sits bold upright next to you. A pink bow on her head sits crookedly to one side on the back of her head. She looks at you, then downwards. You follow her gaze and to your horror, you’re naked from the waist down. Worse than that, whisky dick doesn’t seem to be effecting you much this fine morning.
The pony looks up at you, lower lip quivering and eyes brimming with tears. Shit, shit, shit!
“Um, no, don’t...it’s...wait..”
The pony tips back her head and begins to wail out a shrieking cry. Tears pour from her eyes in perfect rainbow-like arcs, and your mattress begins to soak it up like a sponge. You reach out to try to console the little darling, but as you move your engorged penis pokes her in one slender back hoof. She shrieks louder and begins to desperately back away from you.
“Ah want my sister!” she howls. “Ahm Scared!”
You hold a finger to your lips, trying to get her to shut up. It’s no use. Tears begin to drip through your mattress and onto the floor, forming puddles. Her cries rise in volume and the wine glasses on your bedside begin to vibrate ominously.
“AJ, AJ, AJ!” she shrieks.
One of your glasses shatters at the intensity of the sound. You clap your hands over your ears.
What the fuck did you do last night? Why are you naked? Why is there a filly in your bed? Who the fuck is AJ?
Tears begin to spread across your floor, gaining volume. Small objects like flash drives and one of your porno mags, Playmare, begin to bob in the growing tide. You have to stop this! That's the only porn you've got in this world!
“Ah want my-“
You dive forward and clap your hand over her open mouth to try to muffle her cries. As you leap, your erect member also makes a stab at things, embedding itself quite decisively into her bellybutton. Do ponies have bellybuttons?They must, because that’s where your dick is now. The tears continue to flow from her wide terrified eyes.
“Shut up, shut up!” you yell at the little pony. “And stop trying to get away!”
Her wiggling with you stuck in her bellybutton doesn’t help your throbbing erection. You pin her back on the bed, penis still lodged and hand still clapped over her mouth. You have to figure out what to quick before someone-
Your door flies off its hinges inward. With a goosh, the tear sea that was forming in your room rushes out past the hooves of…
Oh god.
An orange pony with a brown cowboy hat stands in the doorway to your bedroom, and she look pretty damn mad. You look down and realize exactly the scene she’s seeing right now. You look back up at her, pale, as the little pony under you squeals and thrashes.
“I-it’s not...it’s not what it...”
The orange pony’s freckled cheeks flush and her eyes narrow. Her ears pin back against her neck and she strikes one hoof against the ground like she may charge.
Crap.
“Git yer hands off my little sister!” she cries.
Then she charges you. You drop the little filly, your penis exiting her bellybutton with a loud pop. Oh god, god to run, got to get away. But there’s nowhere to run. Twilight's house is a shitty little tree house, and your room has no exists other than one.
“Wait!” you scream, but it’s way too late for that.
The orange pony leaps, turning mid-air, to catch you in the face with both back hooves at once. You feel your cheek and jawbones shatter as you fly back against your wall. Blood fills your mouth, spewing out as you drop, trembling to the floor. The pony turns to face you, her sister cowering behind one of her powerful back legs.
“He put his thingie inside me last night!” she whimpers. “All the way inside me, like I do with carrot back on the farm!”
What.
“You sick sick sonfabitch,” she growls. “What kinda monster are ya?”
You try to say that you’re not a monster, but your jaw is still very very broken.
“Glab kmoh ahh moolffffr,” is all you get out.
“Shut up!” she yells and releases another kick straight into your gut.
This time you hear the sickening snap of ribs. The little one begins to cry again.
Oh god, you’re going to die. You’re going to die on Twilight's newly clean floor.
Suddenly, you see the familiar shape of Twilight herself standing in your doorway. In a final last attempt, you extend your arms to her in a pleading gesture. She looks coldly from you to the orange pony, then back. She looks more annoyed than angry or afraid, which...kind of concerns you. You know, not more than the broken ribs, but still pretty concerned.
"What's the problem here Applejack," Twilight says.
The other pony gives her a look of dark understanding.
"This is kin business," she says in a near growl.
Twilight shrugs.
"Fair enough."
And with that she turns to walk away. You stare at her in disbelief. But...she's been your roommate! You cuddled that one time when you were drunk! You told each other your secrets and talked about boys! How could she! Your feelings of betrayal are soon muted by the Orange pony who again begins her onslaught.
She stomps down on your thigh and your leg now has a new bend in it. You don’t remember doing anything last night. Those fingers? Yeah, you probably won’t be using them again. How did that filly get in your bed, what did you do to her?
“Any last words?” the orange pony asks, cocking back a hoof right in front of your forehead.
You hold up your only good hand to cradle your shattered face. You have to know, you have to know before you die. You look pityingly at the poor little filly where she’s hiding, snot pouring out of her tiny nose.
“Please,” you say, moving your jaw with your hand. “Please little girl, just tell me this...”
“W-what?” she asks tearfully.
“...did I at least enjoy it?”
Your head caves in from the strength of the kick, and you know no more.
-End-
Author's Note
This was my very very first MLP Story. I wrote it when drunk. And now all of you get to read it. I have ZERO regrets.
Ish mah frst storie guys!!1! bee nice ok.
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