Chapters [spoiler][/spoiler]I pull out a cigarette out of my saddle bag and light it and take a smoke. I know these things are bad for me but i need a break. My name is ditzy but everyone calls me derpy because i use to have a bad eye that would always mess me up when ever I would fly. I lost my bad eye when everything went to hell. I still have my blond hair and grey coat with a few scars here and there. I dyed a single black stripe on main and tail on the left side of both of them. I also have an eyepatch over my right eye. I use to be the adorable retard that everyone loved. Now I'm the main delivery pony for our rules. I mostly just deliver packages for the leader's right hoof ponies. Twilight, Rainbow, Pinkamena, Rarity, Flutterdie, and Applejack.
Twilight is King Sombra's right hoof pony and head scientist. She Has purple fur and dark purple mane with single blood red stripe going down the middle of it. She also wears a black labcoat and dark purple glasses. She seems nice at first but is real monster if you are asked to take part in her experiments. Most of the time it ends with her entire body drenched in blood and her checking somethings off her check board. It use to bother me at first but after a while it doesn't affect me anymore. All I care about is getting paid and surviving for another day. I normally only deliver either tech she needs for her experiments, Or getting her test subjects. Hey its business is business don't judge me.
She normally pays me in weapons that i normally sell for money or keep some for protection if anyone want to stop my delivery. Her main weapon is purple Dart gun that works like heat seeking missle and locks onto a target and only rarely misses and the darts are always filled with different potions it's impossible to tell what she is shooting you with but its never good. One of my favorites weapons she gave me are these special duel pistols she gave me I call my little muffins. She maybe a monster but isn't too bad if you want to hang out over tea.
Then there is rainbow dash she might have some anger issues but it pretty fun to hangout with if you get on her good side. She has light blue fur and rainbow mane in a buzz cut style. She also wears the royal bat pony armor in nightmare moons army. She is the right hoof pony and captain of nightmare moon's royal guard. Of all the right hoof ponies she is probably my favorite. I mainly just deliver swords and guns for her. She normally pays in combat training, she even taught me something called the sonic rain punch. It's so fast and powerful that if it comes in contact with a normal pony it would cause them to explode into a blood rain. I've never really tested it on anything living myself but she has done it any chance she can get. It's actually pretty awesome to watch, but mine is all yellow with a black stripe instead of a rainbow. I'm saving it for someone who deserves it. Her main weapon is dark blue scythe and when combined with sonic rainboom it can slice through mountains as if it was air. She is blast to hangout with I'll leave it at that.
Then we have rarity, She is a stone cold bitch. She is the right hoof pony of queen chrysalis and the queen's personal decorator of the castle. She has white fur and Violet mane, she always wore a black and neon green dress. She always sees perfection for her queen and the kingdom and decor of the castle. She will get whatever she wants when she wants as long as it for the queen. She is very generous to her queen and will do anything to please her. While that sounds noble it's just the way she does says enough. She will yell and beat and even kill anypony that will fail her goal to please the queen. I once saw her yell and beat a colt so bad it he later committed suicide to stop the yelling and beating and that only took 5 minutes just because he arrived 1 minute late for work at the castle. She mainly pays me with old relics, clothes and actually bits. Her weapons of choice is a épée also known as a fencing sword. I guess it matches her personality elegant and deadly. I'm not a big fan of perfectionists, but if you give her sweet tea she isn't so bad to talk to.
Then we have pinkamena, I have no words to describe her other than bat shit crazy. She is the right hoof pony to lord terik and his personal court jester and is a local law enforcer. When ever she is in the castle or in her torture room she always wears a dress made of cutie marks from pony skin. But when she is on patrol she always wears a black police uniform hat and all. What ever you do never get caught by her doing anything illegal even j-walking. She seems nice at first but once her hair goes flat she will go insane and do unspeakable things to your body. She is master at torture and will cross any line to fuel her blood lust. If she catches you anything illegal or anything against terik's laws she will drug you and take you to her torture room and you can imagine the rest. Her weapon of choice is 2 knifes with pink handles. She maybe crazy but she is fun to hangout with if you give her chocolate milk. I don't question this world anymore to care.
Then we have fluttershy or now known as flutterdie. She is hard one to describe, well that's what you get for discord being your leader. She is the right hoof pony to discord and his personal beast tamer. With all the beasts that run around his land he needs someone one to keep them in check. She wears a black jumpsuit with goggles built on the eye holes that are black tinted so I never seen her eyes not that I want to. The suit also covers her body from head to hoof. Her pink mane does come out of the suit but I have never seen her actual fur other than through rumors. Her weapon of choice is something she calls a tazer whip. She is normally one of the strong silent types but she does talk its with soft but stern voice.
She does have one other weapon. Her eyes. She has a button on side of the goggles of her suit and when she presses it the tint on her googles go away and they show her true eyes. If you value your life. Never look into them cause if you do once after a 15 seconds of eye contact you explode into gory puddle. Yea she maybe a handful but she pays well. She pays me with some of discord's items of chaos. Like a amulet that can make anyone that walks near grow a fifth hoof or things like that. I sell most of them but everyone and while I get good one I keep for myself. Like a necklace that can turn me invisible. Anyway she can be a bit much but she is a sucker for cute animal pictures like bunnies and puppies and stuff like that. As long as I have those on me I should be fine so she is surprisingly a nice person to hang out with.
Finally we have applejack at least she is still honest, most of the time. She is the right hoof pony to the flimflam brothers. Now I know what your thinking, how did the flimflam brothers become rulers. Well to put it simply they just combined there talents of inventing and con artistry to make war machines and making a penny less sucker out of almost everyone in there kingdom. As for applejack the flimflam brothers did something to her mind is now there most loyal and trusted servant or 'chef' if you want to get technical. She is famous for her meaty apple pies. Take a guess what the meat is. It's the only food around so I try not to think about what's it made off. Honestly it its pretty good. Don't give me that look, it's either that or starvation. She has orange fur, blond mane and a heavy western accent. She wears a black leather cowboy hat, black leather trench coat, and black leather boots. Her weapon of choice double barrel shotgun with Apple shaped symbol on the sights. She is pretty stubborn but once you get to know her she is great drinking buddy. Still wouldn't call her friend though.
As for me I'm just pony for hire for 6 of them. I wouldn't consider myself friends with them but they do pay well and are fun to hangout but I know In this world it's ever pony for themselves. Right now I'm standing in the remains of ponyvile outside my little busted up cabin. After the rulers settled the agreement they all celebrated by destroying this quite little town. Now it's place outside all the kingdoms and is a rat infested cesspool of theirs, murders, and ponies for hire like myself. Yep home sweet home.
I'm currently outside my house smoking a cigarette and watching 2 homeless ponies try to kill each other over a can of soup. Then the pony that won the fight noticed me. "Hey enjoy the show why don't you get your daughter and you 2 can eat popcorn together. Haha !"
I then snapped and pulled out my little muffins and shot the homeless until I emptied both of my clips and then I went to his corpse and smashed his skull into mush. "Nobody talks about dinky that way."
I lost dinky, my daughter when everything went to hell. I watched as my daughter's head was sliced off by falling wreckage. I will not be afraid to kill anyone who mentions her name regardless of who it is.
I then go into my busted cabin and walked into the basement and opened the bomb shelter. I walked in and locked it up and put my stuff in the chest next to the door. Its a small room with a bed, a mirror, sink, a shower, a big chest, and fridge. I then brush my teeth, take shower, dry off, and lay in bed and go to sleep. Hope is dead and there is nothing to change that.
I wake up 8:00 am on the spot. I wake up to my room normal as usual. It's actually pretty big for a bomb shelter. It has a bed, a desk, a sink with a mirror, a toilet, a shower, a fridge, a chest by the door, a oven, a hidden cabinet, a nightstand next to my bed with a clock, and a picture of me and dinky before this mess. I take the picture look at it and hug it.
I then put it back and go to the sink and brush my teeth. I then go fix my hair. I then go to fridge and make eggs and bacon. I then take shower and get all my stuff packed for the day in my saddle bag. I then go the hidden cabinet behind a poster about muffins. I open the cabinet and inside is a phone and flash cards with photos of the rulers and their right hoof ponies. Each card has a photo and a phone on it and a little info to remind me what they usually pay me with so I can keep organized with inventory.
I then pick the card of twilight sparkle. Then pick up the phone and call her number "hello twilight sparkle speaking"
"Do you have to say that every time I call Twi."
"Oh Derpy glad to hear from you, I take it your looking for work."
"You know it a mare got to make a living."
"You got it just give me a second."
She then looks over her check board. "Ok looks like I'm running a little low on test subjects again care for pick up. I need about 5 you think you can handle that ?"
"Does a bear shit in the woods ?"
"Great ! when can I expect them ?"
"Hmm I'll have to check around the area and see what I can find but let's say 2 to 3 hours. If I get delayed I'll let you know."
"Thanks Derpy weapons for payment as usual"
"You know it."
"Alright Derpy see you soon."
"Bye"
I hung up and went out the door and locked it. I went outside and went to a broken garage that is camouflage so people have no idea it's there. I then pull out a garage door opener remote from my saddle bag and open the door to reveal a black Chevy Impala. I stole it from these 2 brown earth ponies brothers, I think their names are Sam and Dean. I know it sounds weird I think its foreign.
Anyway I got in my car and put my bag in the passenger seat and drove through the wrecked town and looking at all the criminals, murders, rapists, thieves, and sorts of sum bags are now forced to live in my town cause they have no one left to go. Honestly I couldn't give 2 shits about it I just want to stay alive and get paid. I then drove up to the old town hall. After I parked my car I started at the old town hall, it was turned into a bar by a old friend of mine. I got out of my car, I didn't need to lock my car cause everyone in this towns knows what would happen if they did. I walked through the front doors and everyone stared at me in silence for a few minutes
"What are you all staring at ?"
They all went back to there business.
"That is what I thought."
I then went up to the bar and ordered a double shot of vodka. Berry punch gave me the shot. She pretty much looks exactly the same as she did years ago except she her mane was a little more wild and has a robotic left hoof now. There are a few helpful things the rulers made. She still drinks but WAY more responsibly now.
"So derpy are you on the job or are you just need a drink ?"
"Work. Twilight again. She needs her usual. So who are the 3 healthiest ponies in town now."
"Give me a second."
She goes to the back and gets a few files and gives them to me. The 1st is blue furred and red maned mare. The 2nd is a brown furred and maned colt that is actually in the back corner of the bar. The 3rd was a bounty hunter on the outskirts of town. I love a challenge. I paid for my drink and then went to the corner of the bar.
"Hey Sir ?"
"What do you want bitch ?"
"For you to shut up."
I then took the glass bottle he was drinking and used it to knock him out with it and dragged is unconscious body out the front door. This town is so screwed up this is considered normal. I dragged him to my car and put him in hoof cuffs and put him in the back of the trunk. I then drove around looking for the mare and found her drunk trying to rob a homeless pony. After she killed the homeless pony and took his stuff I then knocked her out, handcuffed her, and threw her in the back with the knocked out colt.
I then drove to the outskirts of town to a very old house. I then walked to the door and knocked. Nobody came. I looked inside through a window to find it completely empty and skeleton pony of the floor.
"Aww shit looks like he was killed over for a while. Whatever I'll comeback later to see if he had any good loot."
I then went back to my car and decided to check on my delivery in the truck to check to see if they are both still alive. Sometimes my 'packages' will kill each other just for the hell of it.
I opened the truck to see the brown clot bucking the blue mare and they are both enjoying it. Then we all looked at each other in awkward silence.
"If you 2 make its too gross I will kill you both."
I then closed the truck and I heard them going back at it.
"Celestia damn it why does this keep happening I just got the thing cleaned last week."
I then drove off toward twilight's lab in sombra's territory. After a few hours I reached it like I always do. It's 3 story white building with a metal roof and a few satellite dishes on the top. I then parked outside to see twilight waving at me. I then got out and she gave me a small hug.
"Hello derpy it's so good to see you again."
I just nodded
"Great do you have my packages"
"Yea I could only get 2 this time."
"Oh that's alright I'll just have the guards send them in. Would you like to come in."
"No I'm good."
"Alright suit yourself"
I don't normally go in cause there is always a pony screaming as they slowly die. It's just annoying at this point. The guards then take the 2 ponies from the back off my trunk. I check to see the entire trunk was covered in cum.
"Damn it"
I then went to twilight.
"Hey twilight can you do me a solid."
"Sure derpy."
"Can you put them in the super painful experiments?"
"Hehe I thought you would never ask. Did they packages buck in your trunk again."
"Uh yes."
"Haha it's alright I'll have the guards clean it for you."
"Thanks"
After the guards cleaned the trunk I then drove back to ponyvile. I checked to see it was a little past midnight on the clock input in my car. Another average day.
Oh I almost forgot to go check that old bounty hunters house for loot. I drove to the house which was more of shack. I opened the door.
"Oh my celestia !"
Right there standing there in the center of the room was a blue police box.
Chapter 3 Meeting with the Doctor
I stand there speechless staring at a blue police box I thought I would never see again. After everything went to shit I would have thought 'he' would come in and and save the day since I was his companion at the time. As I was standing there in my heart for the first time after I lost dinky I had hope.
I then ran straight to the door and slammed on it as loud as I could.
"DOCTOR ! ARE YOU IN THERE !? DOCTOR !!!"
I kept banging for a few minutes. Then suddenly the door pulled open and then a silver revolver with a black leather handle and laser sight with the Doctor's sonic screwdriver (it's the 10th doctor's screwdriver but the color is red instead of blue) welded to the right side of the barrel was pointed right at my face. I just stood there utterly shocked to see who was holding the gun.
The doctor was pointing the gun right at my face. He slightly moved to get a good look at my face. I could tell he recognized me and almost smiled but it turn back into a death stare. He looked almost exactly the same except his mane was completely black, his once blue eyes were now grey with a slight hint of red, and was wearing the old celestia royal guard armor (minus the helmet) painted painted dark grey.
We both stood there staring at each other in silence.
"Doctor ?"
"Hello Derpy I would say it nice to see you again but you know I often lie."
I replied. "Doctor what happened to you ?"
He then examined me. He then replied. "I could ask you the same thing."
"Doctor for as long as a know you. You would never point a gun at another pony in your life."
"That was the Doctor you knew has long since been killed. If you don't like it then you can fuck off. Now if you would be so kind as to get the fuck away from my Tardis."
I stood there standing at what the doctor had become. But then again look what it did to me. That hope I had has just dissipated. But something inside told me not back away like I normally would.
"No"
"I'm sorry but idk what your thinking here but I am not afraid to blow your brains out !"
"Then go ahead."
He starred at me while his hoof was shaking a bit.
"Doctor I know you. You can pretend all you want but I've known you for long time Doctor. I know that you would never hurt me, I know you would never kill intentionally, I know you are smart enough to know this is a stupid idea. But unless you want to prove me wrong-"
I grabbed the barrel of the gun and put to my head without fear or hesitation.
"-Pull. The. Trigger."
He stared at me shocked and was not sure I'm what to do. His hoof was still shaking. He then slowly lowered the gun until he dropped it.
"Derpy I'm..."
I then give him a hug. He was hesitant at first but he hugged back. He was crying a bit.
"Derpy I'm so sorry. It's been so long I nearly lost myself. I'm just so glad to see."
We hugged for a while then after we let go I sucker punched him.
"OW ! Blast ! That hurt !"
"That's for pointing a gun to me and I have to keep my reputation after all."
"Reputation?"
"If you invite me inside I can explain."
He picked up his gun and put the safety on and put it in his holster around his waist and stepped out of the way as I walked in. It looks almost exactly the same as I remember (it looks like from when the doctor still had rose and was the 10th incarnation) despite a few differences. Like there was junk lying in the floor everywhere from actually technical junk to household garage junk. It also had a weird vibe when I walked in like you could sorta feel like when the tardis was alive when you walk but it felt... Weak.
"Yea I'm pretty sure I know what your thinking. I can explain let's just start from the beginning."
I lit a cigarette and started smoking. "Tell on."
He started at me funny cause I know he never seen me smoke before.
"Uh yea anyway it all started after ponyvile went to down the drain. After I saw the destruction I thought you were killed in the destruction since I couldn't find any survivors."
"After I thought you were dead I then went straight for the nearest ruler without a plan. I was so blinded by rage at the time I wasn't thinking straight. I thought I would come up a plan along the way but that was a mistake I regret even today."
"They were fast acting and were aware of my existence ahead of time and captured me and my Tardis. I was then sent to discord as his personal punching bag. Kinda literally since once he turned me into one once. As for my Tardis it was sent to twilight's lab and did horrible experiments on it and actually crippled it to the point it can't travel through time anymore. It can still fly a bit for limited amounts of times but that is all it can do."
"As for me he did to me was horrifying. He used his chaos magic to supercharge my regeneration to the payout where I could regenerate after death and have the same look I do know with some obvious side effects, he killed me 20 times a day and all of them were slow and painful."
He sat there for about a minute staring into space. I waved my hoof in front of his face and he snapped out of it.
"Oh sorry. Ok where was I ? Oh yes after a while he got board and then made me his personal house cleaner or wrecker in his case. He also took away my regeneration so I'm basically a normal earth pony now with a massive intelligence."
"after a while keeping the chaos in his thrown room I found a secret exit her forgot about in case of emergencies. It was the only normal object in the whole room. A vase that had key inside that when you open the door it brings you into the far out regions of his kingdom."
"After that I found this armor off of a dead guard from celestia's Royal guard and painted it a little so I can appear intimidating, I think I have the helmet around here somewhere. But after a while of wandering I found my Tardis in a garbage dump of all places. I have no idea how it got there but I took it back and put it here in this shack as camouflage."
"The original owner was dead when I found him and now I'm a scavenger trying to survive."
He then looked sad again.
"Derpy I had to survive, I did terrible things I still regret, including killing ponies."
My jaw dropped yet my cigarette was still in my mouth. He looked like he was about to cry again, but I have him another hug and patted his back.
"It's ok Doctor you don't have to explain anymore I've heard enough. You don't have to apologize or anything. Your still my doctor and that is all that matters."
He cheered up and hugged back. We let go after a few seconds.
"So Derpy tell me what has been happening with you."
'I hope he can stomach this cause it's not going to be pretty.'
