Pat's Holiday Special

“Once I’m done with these insignificant insects I’ll deal with you basement dwellers…” Flash tells us, not caring that we were still booing him. “...And then, the Sirens and I will RUIN CHRISTMAS! HAHAHAHAHAHA!” He laughed like a madman, uncaring that we and most of the kids still standing around were booing intensely.

“Fuckin’ pleb, bet ya can’t even-” Red’s shitty threats were interrupted as the blue haired freak threw his bat at him, knocking Red to the floor and causing his spaghetti to fall out of his pockets. Never forgetti.

After the world’s worst OC fucked up Red’s face he turned around, and stared maliciously at the girls stuck between himself and Adagio who were closing in swiftly.

“This is bad…” Twilight mumbled as she went back to back with Sunset Shimmer, and the other less injured girls were slowly positioning themselves in unison to flank Flash Sentry.

“Heeeey, uh Pat, what should we do?” Dan asked the now de facto leader seeing how LPC was unable to boost morale. Said leader was still just sitting on the ground with LPC still between her sweater muffins.

“I dun know, fukin’ kick some ass, eh.” She replied tiredly as Grey nodded his head at her words as if they were wise, while the others were shaking their heads at their leader. The boys except for Grey came to an agreement, they were not going to be able to fight with their current conditions. Although two heroes were about to rise to the challenge.

“If we let the Christian heathens die, then Judaism will reign supreme!” Anon screeched like the shekel stealing cunt he was.

“Wrong once more feg, the Emperor will destroy you and your false religion!” Grey yelled like an autistic freak who was bearing down on the sickly green freak and his jew fro'd friendo.

But, just as Sentry Flash was about to end the lives of the muscle bound superhuman girls(?), they were saved by a couple of master fighters/posers with creepy, super long legs.

“Enough! This battle of fates goes against school rules!” Vice principal Luna, the OG motherfucker, reminded as she and her 9’5 tall sister posed dramatically together.

“We’ll have to beat you into a pulp… or take you to detention, either way the PTA’s gonna complain.” Principal ‘big dick’ Celestia told them, cracking her knuckles and tearing her shirt slightly from her rippling muscles that were modest compared to the freaks duking it out with poses.

“Hah! You think you two can harm us?!” Flash taunted, tilting his head back and roaring with laughter.

Celestia glared at her misbegotten student before yelling as she posed. "Stand proud with me sister!" Luna replied by posing once more but this time it sent him flying back and landing just past Adagio, who just barely manage to avoid the flying teen.

"Do you even pose?" Luna insulted her fallen adversary as flexed her lean muscular body.

“Damn, the freak ladies are good.” Avi commented, spinning his dreidel.

“Wonder if they’re single…” Dan mumbled to himself, his secret leg fetish getting the better of him as he ‘mired their freakishly long mutant legs; he was getting a stiffy already.

The HaM’s stared in awe at their powerful fighting style and freakish, mutant legs that are bigger than the rest of their body. While Celestia and Luna battle the she hulks and betrayer more lyrics along with Jazz instruments were heard throughout the gym, though thankfully they couldn't be seen.

Shijima no soko kara

mezameru sono hashiratachi

toki wo koe

Shinku no chishio ga

tachiagaru yuuki wo

hikiawaseru~

But despite their experience and use of music to boost their performance they are slowly losing. Clearly, they haven’t been keeping practice in the art of the SUPERIOR poses, but past experience has allowed them to withstand the overwhelming might that is the four adversaries.

“Sister! We must not lose!” Luna cried out as she side stepped a flying kick from Flash, but then grabs onto him and threw him back at his ally. All the while Celestia kept battling Adagio with her poses and use of bling.

“Come on! Fuckin’ do it!” Loose inspirationally said with determination in his eyes.

“If you lose we die, don’t let us die please!” Red begged like the pacifistic pussy he is.

“I still got people to sell for coke and pepsi, don’t let my crime empire crumble here!” Mel ordered, accidentally providing more verbal evidence for the CIA.

“Don’t believe in yourself, believe in me who believes in you!” Pipe dramatically requested, somehow still alive as he profusely bleeds out on the floor.

“If I die here, I won’t be able to convert more heretics to Jewish beliefs!” Anon and Avi simultaneously cursed in alarm, they shake from the possibility of death. Their diseased ridden skin flakes into the air mixing with Tux’s remains.

“If I die here, I won’t be able to kill said heretics for being brainwashed by those heathens!” Grey yelled in anger as he pointed at his two least favourite fags.

“Don’t let the perfect waifu die, eh!” Pat vainly yelled as she tried to make herself seem more innocent and kind then she was, for in reality she was a monstar who is slowly enslaving people within and out of HaM.

“Random 4th wall joke!” Pinkie Pie yelled out for no fuckin’ reason.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Rainbow out of nowhere belted out in pure anger; the red rage has consumed her.

“Y’all fuckers need Jesus.” AJ said as she slowly regained consciousness, only to get knocked out again by her one true love; an apple.

“Celestia! I believe in you with all my heart! Don’t fall here!” Twilight and pleaded as posed and flexed - radiating with power and faith.

“If I wasn’t powerful enough to take over, then these two aren’t either! Your power can topple these loathsome pests!” Sunshit Slinger reminded, skipping over the part where her plan was asinine from the start.

“Okay, now what’s going on?!” Chrome demanded, yet people still ignored him.

Warking said nothing, he was tits deep in erotic JoJo fanfiction.

The HaM’s and Mane 6 starring Sunset cheer them on, crying inspirational/reference lines, but not Grey Knight... He hated them all, hate is all he knows. He was born into the hate, moulded by it, he hasn’t felt anything other than hate until he met Pat. By then it was nothing but blinding!

As the seasoned posers duke it out, the fighting and posing getting progressively more impressive, the HaM’s begin to realize they’ll need more than just encouragement to win.

“Okay Loose, I think we should do something about this.” Dan told the superior male who merely looked at him.

“Nah, I think they’ve got it handled.” He disagreed with a monotone'd voice.

Sure, the two adults are capable of holding off the younger posers, but they lack the Greek God physique that the Dazzlings posses, and will tire before they could be able to defeat the three girls.

“You know this is merely a battle of attrition, one you can’t win with your inferior form!” Adagio taunted as she seamlessly avoided the oncoming blows.

“You...You won’t win you heartless monster!” Celestia ‘the puss crusher’ shouted in anger and refusal.

After twenty or so minutes of epic poses, gay dialogue from the walking hams, extreme anal sex between Grey and Red, Jewing out, Aussie talkin’ between Pipe and LPC, drinkin’ shit tons of coffee, Pinkie’s ‘hilarious’ antics and Tux’s spirit powering Chrome and giving him the knowledge to know what the fuck is going on. The teachers look completely exhausted, but unharmed although sooner or later their muscles will begin to slowly tear themselves apart if they continue.

“Seriously, we should probably do something now.” Chrome said as LPC and Pat did nothing but dick around.

“Na, eh.” Best waifu said as she stared off into the distance thinking about the salt mines.

Flash Sentry has noticed that the Mane Six have taken their eyes off of him for the moment, and focused to strike the fish woman together/ Taking his chance he moves to flank the two adults. With lightening speed he ran around the outer edge of the gym. With his bat was about to make his move to strike once more, but then he freezes in mid step.

“What’s his problem now?” Warking asked as he finished jacking off to the JoJo erotica, fondly remembering how hawt Lisa Lisa is.

“Maybe he’s got extreme diarrhea?” Red suggested as he tried to push Grey off him after the rough pounding he just received.

“Or perhaps he has realized he can’t win and will prob get his shit kicked in like most B-grade side villains.” Pipe suggested as he imagined Flash getting royally fucked over.

Everything within Flash was in shock, not knowing what’s going on he gurgles out a cry of despair as he begins to lose consciousness. "Ōbādoraibu!" Someone yelled out behind the blue haired teen. In the next moment he is suddenly, and violently taken down by a new challenger.

“Who dat?!” Mel asked everyone as people filled their shit over the new comer who was wearing a lab coat while was casually posing with hands in the pants pocket, and slightly leaning back a bit.

“Hmph, by my calculations this mess will be sorted out within the hour…” She calmly said as she adjusted her glasses and dramatically threw her coat off. As the coat soared through the air, if looked closely sparkles and little bits of electricity were running through the coat.

“Ah, good to see you again; how’s the Academy?” Twilight asked as she smirked and shook the hand of her multiverse counterpart.

The newest challenger is Twilight, or to be more precise the Human/Other Twilight.

“Recovering, thanks for asking.” She replied with a smile before frowning at the antagonists. “We’ve work to do, and thankfully I’m not the magical flying monster this time around.” She continued as she rolled up her purple shirt sleeves and flexed her smaller, but still nicely toned, lean muscles.

“You foolish girl, you should’ve stayed out of this!” Aria cried as she striked  from the shadows! her wounds had healed and rage tempered. It seemed like Other Twilight was out before she’d begun; instead Other Twilight merely smirked and went on the offensive! After many months of studying the magic at Canterlot, researching ancient Tibetan martial techniques and it's relation to the Sun, and spending many hours at the Karate Club at Crystal Prep: she has unlocked the ability to use a form of attack using Wave Energy. Other Twilight was quick to strike down Aria with her recently mastered ability; the Sendō Ripple Overdrive, a ripple technique.

“H-hey, what’d I mi-” As Sonata awoke, she stumbled upwards and was affected by the attack’s blast wave, but came out somewhat unscathed, though is now barely standing as she lost a lot of magic from other Twilight’s attacks.

It is a shame that Other Twilight was a bit too slow to turn the tide of the battle. While everyone was paying attention at the new comer, Adagio a significant amount of her magical powers to swiftly take down Celestia and in doing so losing some of her wonderful muscles in the process. Now leaving Luna the only one standing other than the Twilights.

“SHIZAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!” Luna cried, causing some of the younger students to gasp, and a spectating Applebloom to cry from the sheer, unfiltered sorrow and hate in her voice.

Luna was currently in shock to see her far more skilled, and powerful sister defeated on the cold floor. Adagio merely chuckles at Luna, and proceeds to mock the remaining fighters by lifting up both of Celestia's legs, and began playing with them as though they were a guitar. "She is on the verge of death. I have her at my mercy, what will you do?" At this Luna roars in anger as the enemy toys with her sister. Blinded by rage and despair Luna ran up to Adagio to physically strike with all of her might.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Adagio was laughing like a mad woman as Luna ran up to her, out of focus and full of anger. She was quick to drop the legs, and proceeded to defend continue toying with the Crusaders. Even with her losing some of her power, Adagio was able to redirect Luna’s punches and kicks.  “My, my, you’ve clearly lost your edge if that set you off!” Adagio ridiculed as she countered every attack Luna set her way. Being more younger and nimble she was able to take out the tired adult with a fatal pose, a pose that literally blew Luna away and causing her to hit a brick wall effectively knocking her out.

Adagio gave off a aura of raw power and arrogance as she had defeated two of the most power enemy posers within the school. She stood tall as she posed as if she already won.

"No!" An outcry came from Rainbow Dash, her body shaking as she looked at the fallen warriors.

"Adagio is-" Apple Jack started, but was cut off by Rarity.

"She is radiating light that rivals the brightness of the sun!" The diva pointed dramatically at the orange afro haired girl.

"Nonono! Oh god! This is bad!" Pinkie Pie yelled in devastation as she felt something within her telling everything is all over for them now.

Adagio gave off a laugh, one sounding as though she accomplished a long life goal. "The Ultimate Being embodies the negative energy of each and every living human." The Dazzling explained as she slowly moved herself into a pose, one that left her exposed to all attacks, but none attacked knowing that anything they could do was futile. "All lives gathered as one, ascending me on a higher form!" Adagio laughed once more as she slowly too a step forward. "And, how beautiful it shines! Truly the most wonderful thing I have ever beheld..." She says as she inspected her body as it glows with a white light, and grinned when it didn't cause her to go blind from its majesty. "I have finally tamed Humanity!"

"This is terrible!" Fluttershy declared while taking a few uneven steps back. "Look, even Twilight is afraid!"

"She's... she's invincible! She has no weakness! I fear not even the Other Twilight's ripple will work!" The expression on Twilight's face is one on the edge of defeat, as though she was slowly accepting Adagio had won. "She's immortal! Unkillable! Unmatched!" She explained as she shakily pointed a finger at the being filled of negative energy. "This is the birth of the perfect lifeform, the Ultimate Being, ADAGIO!"

“NOW should we do something?!” Warking asked, shocked and appalled that the group of weebs, losers and melvins were still doing nothing after hearing Twilight's declarations.

Despite being exhausted and just lost most of her morale as she watched Adagio defeat the school's faculty, and then continued to pose smugly it has caused Other Twilight to give her a smouldering look as she breathes in, using the oxygen to fuel her hamon. Other Twilight, although she is not as exhausted as her friends and the other shit lords, despite her time spent in the Karate Club; she knows that isn’t exactly the most fit person ever, seeing how she spends most of her time in her room doing nerdy shit and thinking about her horse self. She has begun to see she’s a bit in a rut so to speak, but she still has a chance as long as she controls her breathing.

“Focus Twilight... now is your time to shine, your friends need you, the school needs you... The world needs you…” She said to herself, motivating herself to fight the orange menace. The only way she can survive the night is to push herself forward, and continue to fight. There’s simply no other option-

“We the people of HaM, will now enact our secret technique that has secured victory for us time and time again over the past few years we’ve known each other…. RUN AWAY!” Pat, being the total coward she is not known as then proceeded to leave everyone behind, and every Pig who still stands began to drag away casualties with them.

“Come on you fuckwit!” LPC ordered as he dragged Pipe away, causing him to get pissed off about blood getting out of his stump leg.

“Every Jew for himself!” Avi yelled as he ran like his parents ran from the Camp Leaders…

“Fuck all of y’all!” Anon scretched like a bat out of hell.

“I’m too young to die!” Dan weeped, spilling his coffee on his dick.

“I’m too angry to die.” Grey mumbled as he slowly trudged along, carrying his new gay lover Red on his armoured shoulders.

“We’re doomed aren’t we?” Red whispered to himself.

“Yes my white as bread friendo, yes…” Mel stammered as he downed his emergency glass of coke to calm his nerves.

“I wish I’d stayed out of this shit…” Pip said to himself and Loose as he held onto his hacked off leg.

“If I die, please write a romantic fan fic about me!” WarKing requested as he dragged a large jar containing Tux’s magical ashes, and sexual fluids.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Further up the hallway Pat cried out like a call to retreat as she ran, arms flailing like a babbie. The HaM group are not really the tactical geniuses we like to think we are, but shit, we gotta run and hide for a bit to recover and think things over. How does one go about killing a god?