Hellsing Ultimate: Equestria

The Ponyville town hall was darkened. Windows closed, blinds drawn, and doors locked. The mayor had been tied up to a chair and gagged. Dead corpses of the royal guard laid on the floor. Pony ghouls feasted on the corpses, noisily chewing and crunching on flesh. Two vampire ponies stood at the closed window. The female vampire pony licked a bit of blood off of her arm.

“Such a mess,” she grumbled.

“What does it matter?” the male one said. “We can keep going as immortal vampire ponies.”

“Indeed brother,” the sister said. The mayor was grumbling in her gag, spewing muffled curses at the vampire ponies.

“Oh, shut up, you old hag,” the brother said. “Don’t worry. We still have plans for you.” There was suddenly a knock on the town hall door.

“Hold on,” the brother said. He picked up an Uzi and walked up to the door. “Who is it!?” he called. A barrage of bullets blasted through the door, all of them scoring direct hits on the vampire pony. He hit the wall and fell to the floor, writhing in agony. A shadowy figure with glowing purple eyes slowly walked toward him.

“Who are you?!” he cried. The figure grabbed him by the throat and held him against the wall. The brother gasped for air. The figure grinned, showing its pointed teeth. It flattened out its free right hand.

“Name’s Alucard, bitch,” the figure hissed. It drove its hand through the brother’s heart, spraying blood on the figure’s arm and hand. The figure turned his arm, splitting the heart. The vampire pony burst into blue flames before becoming nothing more than a red stain on the wall in the shape of the sun. The sister was horrified. She ran over to the mayor to end her life quickly, but before she took but a few steps, her head was blown clean off in a shower of blood and broken window glass. Her neck turned into a fountain as blood spewed from it. The headless corpse fell on its knees before falling forward, spraying a bit of blood on the mayor. Further away, sitting on a Ponyville house in the shade of a chimney, Seras slid another massive round into her Harkonnen, the empty shell dropping onto the ground. Fluttershy ran into the town hall and undid the ropes holding the mayor to the chair and removed the gag.

“Thank you, Fluttershy,” Mayor Mare said. “Those things were about to kill me.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble,” Fluttershy said. “It’s just our job.”

“Well, tell your friend here that I said many thanks,” Mayor Mare requested. “Now, I need someone to clean up this mess.”

“Alucard,” Fluttershy called.

“On it,” Alucard nodded. As Mayor Mare left the building for her own house to clean up, the sound of Alucard drinking blood and absorbing more souls could be heard.

~~~

Back at Braveheart’s house, he and Sunset Shimmer anxiously awaited for Alucard, Seras, and Fluttershy to return. They didn’t come through the front door. Alucard had teleported them all to the armory. Braveheart was chilling on the couch when the home phone rang with Alucard on the line. He put him on speaker and listened to his report. When Alucard finished, Braveheart made sure he heard him right.

“So that’s your field report?” Braveheart asked.

“Yep,” Alucard confirmed.

“So you broke into the town hall?”

“Yep.”

“And you shot him 36 times?”

“37,” Alucard corrected.

“And you took out his partner?” Braveheart continued.

“To be fair, that was the Police Girl.”

“OK then,” Braveheart shrugged.

“All right, listen,” Sunset Shimmer said. “You’ve got an assignment in Cloudsdale.”

“Ooh,” Alucard grinned. “I’ve never hunted down a Pegasus before. Do you think if I shoot them with my gun rainbows will explode everywhere?”

“Sweet Celestia,” Sunset grumbled.

“Just get to Cloudsdale,” Braveheart said. “Kill the vampire that’s taken over the Wonderbolts Academy. And bring Fluttershy with you.”

“Yes, sir,” Alucard said. He hung up and Sunset looked out the window to see the group fly off to Cloudsdale.

~~~

At Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack, Big Macintosh, and Applebloom just finished a haul of apple harvesting. Applejack pulled out a rag and wiped her brow.

“Damn,” she breathed. “Great haul today, ya’ll.”

“Eeyup,” Big Mac nodded. Applebloom plopped down on the grass.

“Ah’m beat,” she said. “Ah’m gonna head upstairs.”

“Eeyup,” Big Mac agreed.

“Go ahead you two,” Applejack said. “Ah need ta take care a’ somethin’.”

“All righty then,” Applebloom waved. Applejack waved back and walked towards the old, run down shed. She pulled the key out of her pocket and undid the lock. She stepped inside and closed the door. With a small skylight on the ceiling, a minimal amount of light poured into the dark shed. Applejack slipped out of her farm outfit and work boots, almost exposing her tanned body. Not wasting time, she slid into a black dress shirt and pants, as well as dark grey dress shoes. She put on a light grey robe and slipped two white gloves on. On the backs of them read, “Celestia is With Us.” Behind the writing was a black sun outline. Applejack pulled a long golden chain necklace over the back of her neck. The pendant in the middle of the necklace was a golden outline of the sun. She opened up a drawer and pulled out a small case. She opened it up and pulled out a pair of rounded glasses. As she put them on her face, they refracted the dim light and intensified it. She took two long bayonets off the walls and slid them up her sleeves. She grabbed a small book from the table and tucked it away underneath her robe. The phone on the table rang. Applejack picked it up.

“Hello?” she quietly asked.

“Applejack, it’s Twilight.”

“Good ta hear from ya, Twi,” Applejack said. “Somethin’ the matter?”

“No,” Twilight said. “I have an assignment for you.”

“What’s that?” Applejack wondered.

“There’s been a vampire pony sighting in Cloudsdale,” Twilight responded. “I need you to take care of it.”

“Twilight, you know Ah can’t do that. Ah’m not a Pegasus.”

“I know, but that book I gave you has several nonverbal spells in it that should take care of that.”

“All right,” Applejack agreed. “Ah’ll get there as soon as Ah can.”

“Thank you,” Twilight said. “Serve Celestia with honor.”

“And bring peace ta Equestria.” Twilight hung up the phone. Applejack put down her end and opened up her book. Golden pages surrounded her, teleporting her to Cloudsdale, while giving her cloud walking ability at the same time.

~~~

Alucard, Seras, and Fluttershy arrived at Cloudsdale after nightfall. Fluttershy directed Alucard and Seras to the Wonderbolt Academy. Upon reaching the building, Alucard opened the door, revealing a large group of ghouls. They growled and hobbled toward Alucard. Fluttershy gave a whimper.

“Stay back,” Seras ordered. “We'll handle this.” Fluttershy nodded and covered her ears. Alucard pulled out the Jackal and stuck it into a ghoul's mouth. He grinned and pulled the trigger, blasting blood, brains, and skull all over the ceiling. A ghoul held up a pistol, ready to fire, but Alucard shot its head off before it squeezed off a shot. Seras took aim and blasted away a row of ghouls. Fluttershy watched, fascinated and frightened at the same time.

“Hey, Fluttershy,” Alucard called over the growls of the ghouls. “You should totally join in. Seriously, there's like, 40 zombies in here. Just one shot to the head and they explode.” He shot another round from the Jackal, causing a ghoul's head to blow up, proving his point. Fluttershy picked up a fallen pistol and pointed it at the last ghoul. Her hands were shaking.

“I...I can't,” she stammered. Seras stepped behind her and put a hand on her shoulder while sliding a blessed bullet into an empty magazine.

“Just try to relax,” she advised, removing the current magazine and replacing it with the single blessed bullet. “These aren't ponies you're shooting at. They're monsters. Just breathe, aim for the head, and squeeze the trigger.” Fluttershy took a deep breath and let it out. She held up the gun in both hands and aimed down the sight. She told herself over and over, “These aren't ponies. They're monsters.” She took another breath and applied a bit of pressure to the trigger, slowly inching it to the firing point.

“Take your time,” Alucard said. Fluttershy narrowed her eyes and prepared to take the shot. Her eyes turned a vampire's red. A great many blades suddenly pierced the ghoul's heart, head, and everywhere else. Alucard and Seras stepped in front of Fluttershy to defend her. As her eyes reverted to normal, Fluttershy lowered her gun. The ghoul disintegrated into ash.

“Suddenly, it reeks of work sweat in here,” Alucard commented. In the silence of the night, faint footsteps could be heard around the corner. As the three ponies waited, a mare in a grey robe with reflective glasses slowly stepped around the hall corner. Her hair was blonde and hanging in a ponytail behind her head with a red band at the base. She held a blessed bayonet in each hand.

“Oh, if it isn't the second heir to Sweet Apple Acres,” Alucard said. “And what's this, religious clothing instead of those skimpy short shorts? Progress.”

“Ah, and look'it what we've got here,” Applejack hissed. “Another danged bat pony.”

“Excuse me,” Alucard said, offended. “But I'm a fuck-mothering vampire. I killed a lot of people to get this title. I deserve to be called such.”

“Well then,” Applejack said. “Mind if Ah ask ya yer name?”

“Only if you give yours first, farm girl,” Alucard countered.

“Fine,” Applejack said. “Ah'll give ya the courtesy. The name's…”

“Applejack,” Fluttershy interrupted. Applejack was shocked to see her friend here.

“Fluttershy?” she gasped. “What're you doin' here?”

“We're here for the vampire,” Fluttershy said, her attitude changed to a more assertive one.

“The only ones left here 're yer two escorts,” Applejack said.

“So then what do you want, anyway?” Alucard asked. “Your farm is back down there a few hundred miles."

“Ah've hated vampire ponies for mah entire life,” Applejack snarled, stepping closer while holding her blades out to the sides. “The way that they sneak around in the dark of the night, it sickens me. It also don't help that them damned vampire fruit bats ruined mah orchard that one year, no thanks ta you, Fluttershy. Now, Ah've dedicated mah free time to killin' off every single vampire pony in existance.” Alucard started to chuckle evilly, clapping.

“Oh my,” he said. “Brilliant speech. And for once, original. Do you know how many people I've run into using a speech from something else entirely? It really gets annoying. But you've actually made my day with that one.” Alucard reloaded both of his guns. “Too bad we have to kill you now.”

“No!” Fluttershy cried. “Wait..!”

“Yer dead too, Fluttershy,” Applejack hissed. “It may have seemed like it, but Ah never forgave you fer what ya did to mah orchard. And it ain't gonna happen now.”

“If you want her, you'll have to get through us first,” Seras said, aiming her Harkonnen.

“I'm gonna enjoy this,” Applejack said, grinning. Golden papers and smaller blessed bayonets were pinned to the walls.

“A blessed seal,” Alucard said. “We're locked in.”

“Then let's fight our way out,” Seras said. She fired off a shot. Applejack cut down and split the round in two. The two halves exploded behind her. She threw a bayonet at Seras, but she avoided it. More blades flew, and Alucard threw himself in front of them. They all pierced him, but he was unfazed. He grinned wickedly. He put the base of the Casull's slide on his arm and fired. The round hit Applejack in the head, piercing her brain. She fell to the floor with a thud. Alucard turned to Fluttershy.

“Oh, why did you have to kill her?” Fluttershy said.

“Because if I hadn't, she would have killed you,” Alucard said. “And I can't let that happen.” Fluttershy gave a small smile to Alucard.

“Oh, well, thank you,” she quietly said. Alucard gave her a warm smile. Then he asked Fluttershy a question she thought she'd never hear.

“Are you a virgin, my dear?” Fluttershy was taken aback by this.

“What?!” she gasped.

“Let me explain,” Alucard said, putting a hand up to stop Fluttershy from speaking further. “When a vampire bites into someone and drinks their blood, they turn into a ghoul, much like these corpses, only able to walk around. They follow their master like a dog. But if a vampire drinks from a virgin of the opposite sex, then the victim turns into a vampire. I merely asked you if you were a virgin to ensure that, when and if I bite you. You won't turn to a ghoul. You're much too pretty for that.” Fluttershy seemed to understand.

“Well then, yes,” she answered. “I am.” Alucard nodded.

“That's good to hear,” he said, stroking Fluttershy's hair. He put a hand to her neck and tilted her head.

“Wait,” Seras stopped. “You're doing this now?”

“Why not?” Alucard shrugged. “I'm OK with it.”

“Maybe,” Seras said. “But is Fluttershy?”

“I'm OK with it if you are,” Fluttershy said.

“Well then,” Alucard said, smiling. “This is the part where you close your eyes.” Fluttershy did so, and felt a small stab into her neck as Alucard bit her. She slipped out of consciousness for seemingly only a moment. When she awoke, Alucard was still holding her.

“You can let me go now,” Fluttershy said. She stood up as Alucard loosened his hold.

“So how does it feel to be a vampire?” Alucard asked. Fluttershy took off her reflective glasses and looked into her mirror image. Her ears and wings had changed to their bat-like state, and she had regrown her fangs. Her eyes were a bat's red, and her hair was ruffled up.

“It feels different,” Fluttershy admitted. Alucard chuckled a bit.

“It's rather funny,” he said. “I remember wearing those exact clothes during the war for London. I never got over that hat and the trench coat. You look magnificent in them.”

“Thank you,” Fluttershy said. “To be honest, you look pretty good in that strait jacket.”

“Well, I don't wear it often,” Alucard admitted himself. “It usually comes out when releasing my level 1 restraint. You see, I...” A silver blur went through Alucard's neck, decapitating him.

“NO!!!” Fluttershy screamed.

“MASTER!!!” Seras cried. Blood sprayed from Alucard's now headless body. It fell forward, revealing Applejack. Her gunshot wound was smoking, as it was healing up. Alucard's head rolled on the floor, bumping against Fluttershy's foot. She fell to her knees and picked up Alucard's head. She held it to her chest and sobbed. Applejack had no remorse. Seras stepped in front of the weeping Fluttershy,

“Such a shame ya lost yer head,” Applejack said. “A careless vampire wound up dead. Ya wore yer sin like it was some kind 'a prize. Too many lies. Too many lies.” Seras chambered another round into her Harkonnen as her demon arm started to get jumpy, ready to fight.

“Run,” Seras said.

“I can't,” Fluttershy moaned.

“Go on!” Seras yelled. “Get out of here. I'll hold her off! That is an order!” Fluttershy stood up and ran off. As she ran she looked back at Applejack. She no longer recognized those green eyes behind those evil reflective glasses. That honest friend she once knew was gone, replaced by a murderer and a traitor. Fluttershy held back her tears as she ran to the exit. She had made it almost half way before stopping to mourn for her lost friend.

“I can't believe this,” she sobbed. “I thought we could have something special. But now...” she pulled Alucard's head closer. “...now we can't.” She turned to the window. The moon overhead was full. Fluttershy hung her head. Out of nowhere, a blessed blade skewered Alucard's head, knocking it free from Fluttershy's grip and pinning it to a wall. Fluttershy whipped around to see Applejack slowly walking toward her, arms outstretched with blades pointing to the floor. Seras was lying on the floor behind Applejack, unconscious. As Fluttershy stood there, frozen with fear, the moonlight shone in through the windows onto Alucard's pinned head. The head dissolved into blood, flowing into a message on the ground. Fluttershy turned around and saw it. Alucard's voice spoke in her head.

“It is time, Fluttershy,” Alucard said. “It is time for you to drink the blood. Drink it, and you will become the most powerful vampire ever to have existed. Because this is my blood, I will forever be a part of you. Forever be with you. Now drink, Fluttershy. Drink, and become the vampire you were destined to be!” Fluttershy knelt down to the floor. Applejack crossed her blades and prepared to cut Fluttershy's head off.

“Say yer prayers, Fluttershy,” she hissed. As the blades came down, gunshots rang through the air. The bullets struck Applejack's blades, shattering them. She looked up to see Sunset Shimmer and two Pegasus royal guards. Sunset held up a smoking gun.

“Get those blades away from her,” she threatened.

“Well, ain't you a feisty one, Sunset,” Applejack snickered.

“Don't make me shoot you in the fucking head,” Sunset growled.

“You ain't intimidatin' no one,” Applejack said.

“I will not let you be here, killing my vampire hunters,” Sunset said. Applejack swiftly cut off the two royal guard's heads and cornered Sunset against a wall, blessed bayonet to her neck.

“Ah have no idea what yer on about,” Applejack snarled. “Ah'm just doin' mah job!”

“Shut up!” Sunset yelled. “Where the hell is Alucard?”

“Oh, him?” Applejack said. “Ah killed him!”

“Killed him?” Sunset gasped.

“Cut off his ugly head,” Applejack sneered.

“Oh, well then,” Sunset chuckled. “That's step one. What about two through ten?” There was suddenly a screech of many bats flying through a broken window. They surrounded Fluttershy, who had actually done what Alucard said. She drank the blood, transferring Alucard's soul into hers. Her eyes lit up red, and the bats flew into Fluttershy, endowing her with Alucard's powers. Applejack acted quickly and cut an arm off, but it almost instantly regenerated. Within seconds, Fluttershy was standing up, significantly taller and holding the Casull and the Jackal.

“You done goofed,” she said. Her voice mixed with Alucard's.

“How in Celestia's name did ya do that?” Applejack growled.

“Fuck you, that's how,” Fluttershy said, grinning. Applejack barred her teeth and pulled out her book. The golden pages that formed the seal removed themselves from the walls and surrounded Applejack.

“Ah've had enough 'a this,” she hissed. “Ta hell with all of ya!” There was a flash, and just like that, Applejack was gone. Seras had since recovered, and she walked over.

“Where's Alucard?” she asked.

“I'm right here,” Fluttershy said. “My soul is now mixed with Fluttershy's. We together will now go by Alushy. It only seems fitting.”

“Braveheart's gonna flip,” Sunset mumbled.

“Betcha he won't,” Alushy said.

“Betcha he will,” Sunset countered.

“Betcha you're a skank.”

“Betcha you're an asshole.”

“BITCH, I EAT PEOPLE!!!”