Nerds of Pen And Paper

Isaac's POV

Well, here I am. I must be dead. I was engulfed in the universe's power and was vaporized. That must be it. There is no other reason. Well, let's take a good look at Hell or wherever I am. I attempt to open my eyes but before I make them, my left eye opens and a bright light shines into it. Compared to the dark abyss I was just in, it was painful. I cringed hard enough with my body, it must have looked like a seizure or spasm.

"Good. You're awake." Somebody said. By god it was cute. So tiny and adorable.

"Well, it's better than being dead." I replied "Where a..." I trailed off when I saw what had talked.

By ye gods, what doth hath appeared before I? It was this short horse pony thing, probably about five foot. She had on this yellow sweater and some sweat pants. She had butter yellow fur, hooves for feet, and these giant eyes, with vibrant blue eyes. Gazing downward, my brain only though one thing. Sweet jimmany jumping Jesus Batman! Look at those things! Must be at least at least a K! How do they fit in that sweater?! Oh, she has wings. SHE HAS WINGS! What is the place!?

"Um, where you, um going to say something?" She said blushing heavily.

Shit shit SHIT! ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION! I never though I would actually hear a klaxon in my fucking head.
"Uh, sorry. My brain completely shut down there. Where am I?"
"In my cottage. In, uh, Equestria."

Okay. Not even in the same world now probably.
"You are correct."

Who said that?!
"I did."

Slowing turning around, I saw a pair of yellow eyes with red irises. So I did the natural human reaction.
"WHAT THE FUCK!?" I yelled jumping back. Unfortunately, there was no ground, about a foot back. There were stairs.
"AH. SHIT. FUCK. PISS. DICK. AHH. FUCK. OW. YOU!" I would have continued, if there was more stairs. Fortunately, I landed on my back, so I was able to get a good look at whatever the fuck demon that was. It was tall, about 7 feet. He was just this amalgamation of parts, like some scientist got a hold of a platypus and made it even weirder. Thing had wings too. When do I get wings?! They say clothes make the man. Well, the clothes make the demonic platypus. It wore these checkered pants and jacket with a white undershirt. Wait, now it's blue. Now there's a scarf. What the hell? Do I have brain damage?!

"No you don't. It's the chaos magic changing them constantly. Now, why don't you get off the floor and sit down?" At least he was nice.

Getting up off the floor, I walked over to a wicker chair and sat down. Damn, this is comfy! I could die in this thing.
"So..." I was never one to start conversation.
"Well, welcome to Equestria! I'm Discord and I'll be your guide! But first..." He said jovially. I blinked and he swapped to a detective outfit. complete with magnifying glass. "What were you doing before you came here?" He tone turned very inquisitive.
"Well, I was playing D&D with my friends when I got up to go piss. For fun, I decided to say 'Hey! Look at me! I roll to teleport', rolled a d20, got a critical hit and all of a sudden, BOOM, shit goes down."
"That would explain a lot. Must have been a intervention with the Butterfly theory."
"Wait, wait, wait. Isn't that like Chaos theory or some shit?"
"Well, Since I am a chaos entity, I would hope that I know quite a bit about it!" I put my hands up on either side of my head and shook them.
"Well anyway, what I am thinking here is that the pure probably of the dice with a magical use could create a unstable infusion if combined with a teleportation use."
"I'm not Nye. Speak English!" I said. I was never the best at science, let alone a professional field with real magic! Discord simply pinched his fore head.
"Teleportation plus dice plus large magical power equals Resonance Cascade."
"Thank you."
"Well, we should try to find your friends. I don't know where to look though." Discord poof-ed a chair from nowhere and sat smoking a pipe.

"We should go to Twilight..." The yellow pony said, trailing off. Damn, she quiet. Totally forgot about her. Then it struck me. I don't even know her name!
"I just realized. Where are my manners?" I said looking to Discord and the yellow pony. "I'm Isaac Clayton. Pleasure to meet you both."
"As I said before, Discord."
"Fluttershy."
"Nice to meet you." Jesus Honeydew Christ, what a name to fit a person...pony...thing.

"Now then. Let's head there!" Discord snapped his fingers and we were suddenly outside a tree with a door. Then I heard the second most wonderful thing today.

"YOU SET MY ASS ON FIRE!"