Everything I've Ever Wanted

“Ugh. My neck’s a little stiff,” muttered Sunset Shimmer.

“You know, I could have taken the couch.” Twilight stretched her wings as she put her hooves onto the crystal floor. “I feel kind of bad about forcing you out of your own bed.”

“You were my guest – you get the bed. That’s how it works.” Sunset shifted her weight uneasily as she got used to her hooves. “It feels kinda weird to be on all fours again. Been over a year since I was back.”

“How long did you stay for the last time you visited Equestria? I mean, other than any crown-stealing excursions,” said Twilight with a smirk.

“Oh, har har. Well, I actually first arrived in the early evening. I was really surprised to find out that the Crystal Mirror wasn’t in Canterlot, so I guess I was only around for about an hour or so while I figured out the layout of the place.” Sunset glanced at a nearby book and smiled as a cyan aura lifted it into the air. “Heh. I really missed using magic. Still got it.”

“Well then, aren’t you glad you agreed spend the rest of your winter break visiting Ponyville? I’m so happy you were willing to take this tiny step to come back with me. Oh, I can’t wait to introduce you to all my friends!” said Twilight excitedly. Then she rubbed her chin with her hoof. “Actually, they’ll all probably be pretty familiar to you.”

Just then, a little purple dragon appeared in the doorway, wearing an apron and holding a spatula. “Ah ha! I figured you stayed over on the other side of the mirror again when I saw the portal still open this morn… Sunset Shimmer?” Spike looked Sunset up and down. “Hmm. You’re not as big as I remember.”

She chuckled. “You’re too used to meeting me as a human. I don’t think we had much time to interact the last time you saw me as a pony. Happy Hearth’s Warming, by the way.”

“Happy Hearth’s Warming to both of you,” he said casually. “I didn’t really expect to see you here. I was about to fry some hay bacon. You guys want some?”

Seeing the dragon suddenly brought a thought to Twilight’s mind. “Oh! Happy Hearth’s Warming, Spike! Hey, why don’t you two have a chat while I bring your present down?” She ushered him closer to Sunset right before galloping upstairs to her bedroom.

I wonder what that’s all about, thought Sunset as she watched Twilight go. She turned back to Spike and did her best to be friendly. “So uh… I haven’t seen you much on the other side recently. Been busy?”

“Nope,” he said. “I just don’t like being a dog.”

“That is… a very good reason.” Sunset hadn’t thought about how the transformation worked. “Wait a sec. You’re standing on two legs.”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “No, really?”

“Look, it’s not like I’ve ever met any other baby dragons,” said Sunset defensively. “No, what I mean is, you go from biped to quadruped when you pass through the mirror, while for Twilight and me it was the other way around. Isn’t that weird?”

“Huh. I guess I never thought about that. I always just assumed that mirror hated me.”

“I’m not sure if the mirror really decides what we turn into." She considered what she knew about it. "The human Twilight has a dog named Spike. Maybe we turn into whatever our alternate-universe counterparts are?”

Spike didn't seem very happy with that explanation. “I’m not sure I like the idea that the powers-that-be consider me a pet. I think I’d feel better thinking it’s just the mirror being vindictive.”

Their conversation was interrupted as the sound of hooves on crystal heralded Twilight bounding back down the staircase. Clasped in her magic was a large gift box that looked very hastily wrapped.

“Here’s your present!” She floated the box over into Spike’s claws as she kissed him on the forehead. “For the best number-one assistant ever!”

“Aww, there’s no need for that mushy stuff,” blushed Spike, obviously lying. He tore open the box and gawked at the sheer quantity of gems. “Woah! Are these all for me?”

“Yep. Don’t eat them all at once, okay?”

She turned to Sunset, looking sheepish. “I uh… didn’t get you anything. I didn’t know that humans exchanged gifts for Hearth’s Warming too.”

The unicorn didn’t look like she minded. “I think you’ve already given me the best gift I could want.” she said, grinning. “I hope you like your present, by the way. It’s written by one of the greatest human minds ever.”

“It looks great,” said Twilight, gazing at the copy of A Brief History of Time. “I can’t wait to read it. Anyway! Let’s make breakfast together with Spike. Then we can go out and I can show you around. Oh gosh, Pinkie Pie is so going to throw you a party!”

***

Sunset poured out another cup of punch as she surveyed the celebrations around her. It looked like the entire town was in attendance, carousing merrily in the castle’s grand ballroom.

“I’m kind of surprised Pinkie Pie could set all this up in a few hours.”

Twilight sniggered. “She throws a party for everypony new to Ponyville. Though this is a lot bigger than the usual affair - I think she was probably already planning a Hearth’s Warming party for the whole town, so she just moved it to the castle when she met you.”

“Heh. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but your Pinkie is, like, more Pinkie than Pinkie.” The awkward phrasing made Sunset frown. “Does that make any sense?”

“Believe me, I know what you’re talking about,” replied Twilight. “I think it must be Equestrian magic or something that lets her be even more random than human-Pinkie.”

Sunset looked over at the pink party pony. She was performing a dance that looked strangely like a cowboy riding a horse and twirling a lasso, followed by putting her forehooves to her hips and wiggling her flank and hind hooves. “I wonder if we could come up with an experiment to find out why…”

Twilight gave her a warning look. “Oh, trust me, you do not want to do that. I lost nearly all my equipment the last time I tried to do any kind of science involving Pinkie.”

“I guess some things were not meant for ponies to know,” chuckled Sunset.

Suddenly the face of a mint-green unicorn mare moved right into her field of vision. “Sunset Shimmer! Oh my gosh, it’s been years since we last saw each other!”

Sunset’s eyes widened in surprise. “Lyra Heartstrings? I thought you lived in Canterlot!”

“Nah, I've been living here for awhile. Whatever happened to you, by the way? One moment you were top student at the school and then the next you completely vanished!”

“Oh uh…” Sunset said evasively. “I kind of moved away.”

“Well, it’s great to see you again! Hey, let me introduce you to my marefriend. This is Bon Bon!” she said, gesturing at the pale yellow earth pony next to her. “Bon Bon, this is Sunset Shimmer. She used to be Princess Celestia’s student. Incredible, huh?”

Sunset smiled. “Hi, great to meet you.” She noticed her distinctive blue-and-fuchsia mane. “You know, you look really familiar. Have I ever seen you around Canterlot?”

Bon Bon seemed very nervous for some reason, sweating profusely despite the cool temperature. “Err no, I don’t think we’ve… ever met, haha. You must have me confused with somepony else - Oh hey, there’s Vinyl!” she said, pointing towards the DJ. “Gotta go talk to her. Great meeting you, Sunset!”

Lyra watched her canter off. “I’d better go with her. Hey, keep in touch, okay? We should catch up one of these days.”

“I’d like that. Actually, you know that theory you had about primates back when we were in school? I think I’d like to talk to you about that sometime!” Sunset said, raising her voice at the end as Lyra walked away, waving.

Twilight came up to her. “You know Lyra?”

“Yeah. Remember what I told you last night? She was one of the friends I blew off.” Sunset thought back to that day she saw Twilight having a picnic with Cadance. “I think I remember being really rude, in fact.”

“Well, it looks like she doesn’t hold it against you. You know, I was also kind of a terrible friend to her back when we were in school.”

“What, really? You knew her too?” said Sunset, surprised.

“Oh yeah. Can you believe I lived in Ponyville for over a year without realizing we used to hang out when we were fillies? I couldn’t even remember her name.”

Sunset grinned. “Heh. Guess we were even more alike than we thought.”

“Speaking of friends, I’m really glad you got along with all the girls,” smiled Twilight. “It looks like they will approve of you at least.”

“Well actually, it does kind of feel like I’ve known them for years. It’s uncanny how similar everypony in Ponyville is to the students at Canterlot High.”

“Oh yeah, definitely,” agreed Twilight. “How do you think I felt when I first arrived there? It was like walking into a bizarre alternate universe. When I met all the human versions of my friends, I nearly freaked out.”

“Well, thank you for introducing me to them.” Sunset gave Twilight a quick hug. “That’s two sets of friends I owe you for now.”

Just then, one of the nearby mares pointed to the entrance and exclaimed, “Oh my gosh! This party is officially off the hook!”

Sunset turned to see what the commotion was all about, and her jaw dropped in horror as she realized who the subject of everypony’s attention was. Standing in the large doorway was a brilliant white alicorn, rubbing one fetlock with her hoof nervously as she looked in Sunset’s direction.

“Hello everypony. I… received a party invitation?”

***

Twilight facehoofed as she whispered to Pinkie, “You invited Princess Celestia?”

Watching Sunset’s reaction, Pinkie very quickly realized the awkwardness of the situation. She whispered back embarrassedly, “I thought they’d be happy to see each other again after so long! I’m so sorry Twilight! I didn’t mean for this to happen!”

“No, no, it’s not your fault.” Twilight groaned. “We didn’t tell you girls anything about their history. Oh gosh, this is going to be a disaster.”

Sunset looked around, almost panicking. Fortunately it seemed like the rest of the town had not caught on to the tension between the Princess and the yellow unicorn whom they had just met. Still shaken, she asked, “Uh, can we… can we have a word in private for a moment?”

Twilight turned back to Sunset as Celestia quietly headed into an adjacent room. “Are you going to be okay? Do you need me to be in there with you?”

Sunset didn’t turn to face her. Now that the initial shock had worn off, her temper had instead taken hold. Every word in her voice sounded like pressurized air escaping. “No, I’m not okay. But I think you’d better let me talk to… her alone. I’m… not sure this will be very pretty.”

“All right…” Twilight nodded, even though Sunset couldn’t see her. “But I’ll be here if you need me. And… try to keep calm, okay?”

“I am calm.” growled Sunset.

She made her way into the side room, which turned out to be one of the many reading rooms in Twilight’s expansive library. Sunset closed the doors and turned to face Princess Celestia, who stood abashedly in the middle of the room, unable to look her daughter in the eye.

“Sunset…”

“Princess Celestia.”

The titled greeting made the alicorn flinch.

“I just…” Sunset tried to think of what she wanted to say, but her anger made it hard to do so. “I’m not… AAARGH!” she roared, stomping her hooves in frustration. “I wasn’t ready to talk to you yet!”

Celestia nodded dejectedly. “I understand. I’ll leave.” She turned, intending to exit discreetly through one of the balconies. “I’m sorry I ruined the party for you.”

“No, wait.” Sunset took several long breaths, trying to get ahold of herself. “This party’s already ruined. You may as well stay.”

“…All right.” Celestia quietly lowered her flank to the floor. “Sunset… I’m not asking you to forgive me. What I did – replacing you, that was unforgivable, I know. I don’t know if there’s anything I could do to make up for what I did. I just very much wanted to see you again.”

“Well, now you’ve seen me.” Sunset was still seething. “You can see what a disappointment I am. I didn’t fulfill your prophecy, or become a princess like you wanted.”

“Sunset, I don’t want that any more. It was wrong of me to place those expectations on you when I wasn’t sure which filly would fulfill-”

“YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME!” yelled Sunset. She had been trying to keep her temper in check, but years of bottled rage had uncontrollably spilled to the surface. “You know, up until just four days ago I still thought everything happened because I just wasn’t good enough; and I had to find out from Twilight of all ponies! Everything I did could have been avoided if you just sat me down and explained years ago that you made a mistake! I would have been angry, and hurt, but in the end I would have accepted it! But you couldn’t admit that you were wrong!”

“I’m admitting it now.” Celestia’s face was covered in regret. “I don’t have any excuses. I put so much pressure on you to become who I wanted you to be, but I didn’t have the courage to tell you that all of it was for nothing. I wish I could go back and change what I did, but I can’t. I’m sorry, Sunset.”

The fury on Sunset’s face told Celestia that her answer hadn’t helped.

“This… isn’t working out, is it?”

“It’s a bit late to apologize,” Sunset said between clenched teeth. “I don’t know what you were hoping for when you came here. Did you think I’d be happy to see you? I’ve hated you for years! I’m trying to stay rational, but every time I look at you I just get so angry! It’s not like we can sit down like we used to and… and…”

She closed her eyes, calming herself as best as she could. Then she said quietly, “I have an idea.”

Sunset walked to the door and opened it, hoping that Twilight was on the other side. Fortunately, although the party was still in full swing she had remained seated nearby, awaiting the outcome of the talk. Sunset motioned to her.

“Hey Twilight,” she said, with a bit better control than before. “Could we… could we get a pot of tea?”

***

Sunset Shimmer and Princess Celestia waited silently as the water boiled in the kitchen. Spike soon came in carrying the steaming kettle, carefully placing it on a mat and waving the Princess a quick “hello” before retreating tactfully.

Between them was a little coffee table they had found in the room, where they had laid out the teapot and cups in preparation for the kettle. Accompanying them were a matching porcelain creamer and sugar bowl. Sunset took hold of the teapot and poured in a little boiling water, swirling it around so that the heat could properly warm it before being emptied. Then she added two teabags and filled the teapot, letting it sit to brew.

Tea was one of the little rituals Sunset and Celestia had shared almost since the beginning. It was a reminder of a happier time in their relationship, when Sunset’s very existence was still cloaked in complete secrecy. Every afternoon, Celestia would take a break from the business of government to have tea in her private chambers, which meant that Sunset could finally spend some time with her mother after a day of being alone or cared for by a trusted maid. Sunset remembered eagerly awaiting afternoon tea just so she could tell Celestia all about what she had learned or played with that day. She thought of how she used to dread the possibility that her mother would be forced to miss their time together due to diplomatic or ceremonial reasons. It meant a few more hours of disappointed waiting until dusk, when Celestia would end her official workday to lower the sun and raise the moon.

Waiting for the brew also gave Sunset time to properly compose herself and try to relax. Fortunately, it seemed that Twilight had fully soundproofed the reading room, though considering what Twilight had told her about Ponyville’s usual bouts of craziness, Sunset wasn’t too surprised. Sheltered from the noise of the party, it felt much easier to remain level-headed in its silence.

“The tea is ready,” she said. Sunset knew she didn’t actually have to tell her mother this. After centuries of appreciating tea, Celestia could flawlessly pick the correct moment to begin. But Sunset had mentioned it deliberately, because she knew what it would prompt the alicorn to do.

Celestia’s golden magical aura wrapped around the teapot.

“No,” said Sunset, firmly.

The aura vanished.

Instead, Sunset picked up the teapot in her own cyan aura and poured into the teacups, where their preferred quantities of milk had already been added. It was a subtle gesture of defiance, one that she knew Celestia would not fail to notice.

When a family shares tea, it is traditionally the mother’s role to pour.

Sunset then added one cube of sugar to her cup using the elegant pair of tongs that Twilight had provided. Celestia had two cubes – her sweet tooth was rather famous. After waiting for the sugar to begin dissolving, both took their teaspoons and stirred with a perfect silence.

Sunset sipped.

Equish Breakfast Tea.

Sunset had always liked black teas, and Equish Breakfast was her favorite blend. She generally avoided coffee, so the extra caffeine had always been useful to help her stay awake while studying. Celestia had always been much more partial to Maresala Chai, especially with honey – a preference that had been passed on to Twilight. But Sunset had decided to take full advantage of her mother’s cooperative mood, especially when she had noticed the teabags in Twilight’s kitchen that morning. After years of drinking water or sodas in another world, holding a teacup with her magic and sipping the tea she liked best felt like a strange homecoming, even more so than the actual passing through the portal.

She set the cup back onto the saucer and said, “Okay. I’m ready to talk now.”

Celestia set her own teacup down and paused as she considered what to say to her daughter. But all the explanations and entreaties she had thought of earlier now seemed hollow.

“I’m so sorry, Sunset. I truly am.”

“I know.” There was no bitterness in her reply this time.

There was another long pause. Sunset didn’t look like she would speak, so Celestia broke the silence.

“Sunset, isn’t there anything you want to say to me at all?”

“I’m still trying to figure out how much of this you planned.”

The statement didn’t surprise Celestia. There were very few ponies that had seen every part of her personality, especially those parts that she kept hidden from the public eye. Of those closest to her only a handful had ever known her as well as her own daughter.

“You’re the most manipulative person… pony… creature ever,” said Sunset, matter-of-factly. “I know how good you are at making big changes happen with small gestures. Don’t think for a moment I don’t know what you were doing when you sent Twilight my journal. Even Twilight figured out that I’d written into it only after you sent it to her.”

“It’s true. I never got the message you sent me to relay to her. I sent it to her after I had the mirror moved to her castle in the hopes that she would be able to find a way to open the portal before the thirty moons passed. That you needed her help to face the Sirens was a coincidence, though it did motivate her to find a solution much quicker than I had hoped.”

Sunset looked at her flatly. “Is there anything else?”

Celestia thought for a while. “I’ve asked her many times in the past to persuade you to visit. I may also have put some emphasis on forgiveness when Twilight came to me for advice yesterday. It was not intentional, but I think I was unconsciously hoping that spirit of forgiveness would rub off onto you.”

“I did think of that. Twilight even quoted your advice word for word.” Sunset frowned for a moment, but the expression faded quickly. She took another sip of tea before saying, “That’s just the sort of thing you do without even trying. I don’t even know if I can get mad at you for that any more. But that’s… that’s not what I was wondering about.”

“I know,” Celestia said, nodding in understanding. “You’re wondering if I might have pushed you and Twilight… together.” A tiny flicker of anger from Sunset’s eyes confirmed that it was indeed what the unicorn suspected. “Sunset, I’ve done many things to both you and Twilight that I regret terribly, but I promise, I swear to you, I would never do anything like that. The feelings she had for you were genuine, and whatever both of you shared was entirely your own doing. I give you my solemn word that except for the advice I gave her when she asked yesterday, I never meddled.”

Sunset believed her. She had been afraid that their already fragile relationship would be tainted by her mother’s manipulations, so those assurances brought her some relief. “Aren’t you going to ask how that turned out?”

Celestia raised her teacup to her lips. “Since you’re here now I can only presume she has at least somewhat forgiven you. But I imagine if you wanted me to know anything else, you’d tell me.”

“You’re right. I don’t.” said Sunset, just a little too hurriedly to be casual. Seeking to change the subject, she asked, “Why did you come, anyway? You never bothered before.”

“When you refused to come back, I knew you didn’t want to see me, Sunset,” said Celestia bitterly. “I didn’t want to hurt you any more than I already had. You had your own new life and you didn’t need a horrible mother to bring back all the pain for you. But when Twilight began asking about you, I suppose… I hoped she would convince you to settle our differences. And when I got that invitation, even though I knew it was very unlikely you would be happy to see me, I decided to throw caution to the wind and come, because I wanted very much to see you again.

“Seeing you today makes me so happy, Sunset,” Celestia continued, smiling sadly. “No, I’m more than happy. Even if you never forgive me, just seeing you has relieved me of a pain that I’ve borne ever since you left. It’s selfish of me, I know - but for so long I was afraid that you were dead. Even when Twilight told me you were well, I wanted to see you with my own eyes, just to be sure.”

“I don’t believe you.” Sunset’s tone was accusatory, but she was still calm. “You forgot me once I was gone and didn’t remember until I came back.”

“I never forgot you, Sunset. After many years, I admit that I gave up and accepted that you were probably dead. But I never forgot you.”

“No, I came back and I saw it with my own eyes. You replaced me.” Tears welled in her eyes, and one spilled out down her cheek. “Twilight was everything you ever wanted in a daughter, the pony who could fulfill your prophecy and bring your sister back to you. She was the good filly who did whatever you asked, never disobeyed you or tried to rise above her place. Once you had her you didn’t need me anymore and forgot all about me.”

“I… I did replace you with Twilight.” Celestia hung her head in shame. “It’s true, I don’t deny it. I missed you, and I missed what we had, and I wanted it all back so much that I used Twilight as a substitute and pretended she was you. It’s also true that I tried very hard to turn her into exactly what I wanted you to be. After she grew into the role I created, I guided her onto the destiny I once thought was yours.” She recounted the path that Twilight had taken. “I sent her to Ponyville to find the Elements of Harmony. There she met the friends who would love and support her and teach her all about friendship. When Nightmare Moon appeared they used the Elements to defeat her and save my sister Luna. After the battle in the Crystal Empire failed to trigger the next step of Twilight’s destiny, I instead sent her one of Starswirl’s incomplete spells. She finished it using her understanding of friendship, a concept that Starswirl never mastered. By doing so she finally became an alicorn and I crowned her a Princess of Equestria.

“Later on, Discord’s thousand-year-old magic threw Equestria into chaos once again, which led Twilight and her friends to the Tree of Harmony, where Luna and I found the Elements a thousand years ago. And so the cycle came back full circle – the Elements were returned to the Tree and eventually after the battle with Tirek, the Tree revealed the Cutie Map, and created her castle.”

“All that was what I had once hoped for you. You know by now that on the Tree was carved her cutie-mark, the Element of Magic. And yes, the day you got your own cutie-mark, I knew you were not the one. I’m so sorry, Sunset. I had to give her everything I thought was yours.”

Celestia was forced to stop, because the admissions had made Sunset begin to cry uncontrollably. The unicorn covered her face with her hooves, bawling and hiccupping and sniffling. It was everything that Sunset didn’t like to hear, because it was a reminder of all the dreams that she had once had and was encouraged to have. They were dreams that never had the slimmest chance of ever coming true, no matter how hard she worked, because the arbitrary whims of fate had decreed otherwise. Seeing her daughter weeping in anguish made Celestia want to rush over and hug her, but she knew Sunset didn’t want to be held by the one who had caused her such pain and that trying would only hurt her even more.

But she had to tell Sunset the ugly, blunt truth because she couldn’t hide it from her any more. She knew that Sunset had wanted those admissions, because it meant admitting that she had indeed replaced her with an outsider and given that outsider everything that had been meant for her. So instead, she raised one wing and draped it over her daughter’s shoulder in a way that she hoped would ease her agony slightly without aggravating it.

“I wish… I wish I’d never gotten my cutie-mark!” sobbed Sunset.

Hearing her say that broke Celestia’s heart. She knew that a cutie-mark represented a pony’s very identity, and being denied that identity usually drove ponies to madness. It meant that she had caused her daughter so much pain that Sunset had come to reject herself.

“I didn’t want to come back,” Sunset continued, choking back her tears. “I wanted to become my own po… person! I didn’t even want to be a pony anymore! I threw away what I used to be so that I could be free of you. I didn’t even keep my… my cutie-mark on my new clothes. But Twilight w-was right, I can’t pretend that my old self was some other pony. Even if I hated her because she wasn’t good enough for her own mother, she’s still part of me.”

Celestia took her wing off Sunset’s shoulder as the unicorn’s crying died down. “I admit that I replaced you with Twilight, Sunset. It was terribly unfair to her and even more terribly unfair to you. But I never stopped loving you. Twilight was never my daughter and even though I confess that sometimes… I wished that she was, I knew that thinking of her that way would be never be anything more than a lie. I loved you, and I still love you. I only wish I could have realized how important you were to me before I lost you.”

“You don’t know how much I wanted to hear that from you then,” Sunset sniffled. “That… that you loved me. You stopped when I grew older, when I got my cutie-mark – when I couldn’t be what you wanted. I didn’t even know why you didn’t love me anymore.”

“Oh Sunset, if I could go back I would tell you every day. I know that’s the worst thing I did, even more so than replacing you. I neglected you and when you got angry I punished you for feeling what you had every right to feel. I didn’t see it then, but everything you did, all the arrogance and rebellion and defiance, all of it was caused by me.”

“Do you even know how much you hurt me to make me that way?” Sunset’s pained voice cracked as she fought to prevent herself from breaking down again. “I felt like a failure for years. I didn’t even know that there was no way at all for me to succeed, so I kept trying! And when it didn’t work and you got annoyed at me I kept thinking that there was some lesson that I didn’t understand or some profound truth that I failed to realize, but there wasn’t…”

A fresh steam of tears spilled from her eyes. “I failed just- just for being who I am. All I wanted then was to make you proud of me…”

For the first time that day Celestia had nothing to say. She wanted to tell Sunset that she was proud of her, but she realized that Sunset would know immediately that it wasn’t true. She realized with regret that in all the years since their quarrels began she had never once allowed herself to truly feel proud of her daughter.

“Oh Sunset, I am so sorry…”

“That doesn’t make me feel better!” said Sunset, wringing her hooves. “All you’re doing is saying you’re sorry but it doesn’t change the fact that you did all those things that hurt me… and it hurts to hear you say it!”

“It’s because I am sorry, and yes, I know how much I hurt you,” replied Celestia regretfully. “I can’t undo all the mistakes I made. The only thing I can do is to try to make amends now. I could promise to try to be a better mother from now on, but you’re a grown mare who doesn’t need me anymore. Self-recrimination and apologies are… are all I have. It’s all I can do.”

“I know you’re hoping we can go back to being mother and daughter but I… I can’t,” Sunset agonized. She slumped onto the table and covered her head with her hooves. “I want to forgive you, but it’s… it’s too much, I just can’t.”

Celestia’s heart sank. But she understood. Even what little consideration Sunset had given her today was more than she’d had in years. It had been more than she had expected, even.

“I deserve that,” she said. “I broke what we were so hard that I don’t know if it can ever be put back again. I’m so sorry Sunset, for everything.”

There was silence. Celestia slowly got to her hooves.

Sunset put her hooves on the table and gradually pushed herself upright. “I suppose… this is goodbye.”

Celestia nodded. “Goodbye, Sunset… and thank you. For putting yourself through this for me.”

As she walked upstairs to the balcony, Sunset called to her.

“Hey.”

Celestia stopped.

“I’ll… I’ll try. I’ll try to forgive you. Maybe when I do… I’ll come see you again.”

Celestia smiled hopefully to her daughter. Then she left.

Sunset wiped away her tears, and drank the rest of her tea. She didn’t want to walk out to the party while looking a sight, so she entered a nearby washroom and cleaned herself up the way she always did whenever she didn’t want anypony to know that she had been crying. Then she finally walked out back into the reading room and opened the doors.

Twilight was waiting there as she had been before, and the young alicorn looked over with concern as Sunset exited. Sunset looked back at her and slowly shook her head.

Twilight nodded in understanding. A reconciliation that day was extremely unlikely, because just persuading Sunset to visit Ponyville had already been difficult. So she walked up to Sunset and gave her a nuzzling hug before leading her away from the noise of the party. She knew that Sunset would want to be alone.