Chapters Of Broken Innocence and Shattered Realities
Chapter 1 - {{ Seeds of Fear}}
Hurt…
It hurts so much…
What is this? What is going on? Why can’t I see anything at all? I’m scared.
Light. Hurt. Candles. The candles, where are they? I had them before I slept. Ah! I can’t see. I can’t touch anything.
I don’t want to be here. It hurts. Mommy! I want to see Mommy. I want to be home with you and Mrs Sweetie. Please.
Just. Please. Anypony?
…
This is wrong. The hurt. So wrong. Please, anypony help!
…
Help me, please? It hurts. This is bad. Hurt is bad. You have to help me. Please... You have too...
…
Eeek! What. What is… this?
…
No! Please, don’t stop. Don’t leave me alone. I. I won’t run away, promise. I promise I won’t leave. So… So please, could you make the hurt go away? Pr-pretty please?
...
Th-thank you. Thank you… Yes, thank you.
The hurt is going away. Thank. Thank you, very, very much.
…
‘Fay-ez’? It’s called ‘Fay-ez’, right? ‘Hey-and-zo’? It sounds strange--uh. Sorry! I. I didn’t want to make you feel bad. No. It’s not strange at all, I was just curious. I… Sorry. I did not want to be mean. I just… I never had that feeling before. At least, I think.
‘Sraze’?... Euh! Thank you? Is that, what your hoof is called? Or maybe you name?
…
My name is Dinky, Dinky Doo. I don’t know why I was feeling hurt, but I’m all better now. All thanks to you, Mrs? Mister? Hi-hi.
…
Euh! I don’t think I wanna play gili-gili now. It’s still dark, and I want to see Mommy. Sorry.
Haha *giggles *. Oh! But I am also glad that you came to help me. Hihi. I feel a little not so lonely when somepony else is around. Hoho.
...
Haha. Stop that. What are you doing with your hoof? It tickles my belly a lot.
‘Han-ez’?!... Your hoof feels like a spider, but it sounds like the flowers from our neighbour's garden.
Stran- It’s curious. I mean, I am curious. Euh! It’s a nice name. If only I could see it…
Why did you stop tickling me? Do you have to go someplace?
…
Oh! Well, maybe I can follow you? I’m sure we will find Mommy if we go toge-- Wait! The hurt, it’s back. Why? I. I can’t move now. It hurts. Why?
It started when you-- Your hoof! Please, your spider hoof. I. I need it.
Where, where are you? Please come back, I can’t see, it’s too dark. ‘Ha-Han-ez’? ‘Han-ez’! It hurts! I. I need you!
Han-ez?! My head. The hurt… please… please… come back… come… back… ῆ̐ͫ̂̅ͭ͌͊̉̀҉̣͉ἶͫ̄͊͒̈ͮ҉͙͍̬ც̬͕̹͓̱̬͇̥͛̌ͭ̓̇̅̊̈́͠პ̡̦͙͓ͬͬͪ͑̑͜ჩ̐ͩͧ̿̑̊̑͏̦ !!!
~~~ [[ . . . ]] ~~~
Penumbra. A shade between light and darkness, painted the scene of her troubled awakening.
It was a scene she felt most familiar with. A calm scene, a secure scene, filled with cherished memories and love unbound.
It was… home.
Nevertheless, it was odd that she felt she could see her own room with such details, while still lacking sufficient light.
On a normal basis, she would have difficulty identifying the multiple toys lying on the floor, or the furnitures that decorated her personal space.
…
A horrible dream, as she would have thought. It had denied her the peaceful body restoration that rest would occasionally instil upon any living being.
And as on a habit, she was already sitting on her bed ; her gaze fixated on the rectangular surface on her wall that played as her only window.
Not blinking as if in trance, it took her more than a minute to realise that she was sweating, and heavily panting for air.
Eventually, when her breathing became less erratic, she allowed herself to close her eyes to recall the events that led her to waking up.
...
It was difficult. Not because she didn’t want to forget about her bad dream, but because she couldn’t.
And the more she tried, the less her mind would allow her access to her memories.
The only thing she was able to salvage was that, for some reason, she was in a very dark place. It was so dark that she couldn’t even see beyond her own muzzle.
That, and the fact she screamed at somepony for help.
And that was about it.
She could not recall any names, or make out any shapes that might seem odd, as if her memories were slowly being erased.
As she realised the futility of pursuing in her quest, she lowered her head in defeat.
And so, with a final sigh, she abandoned all control over her body, allowing her to make contact with the softness of her damp bed.
“Mommy”, murmured the little foal, before allowing herself a few hours of dreamless sleep.
Unaware of the tears that were shed from the moment she awoke.
…
~~~ [[ . . . ]] ~~~
The first thing that she saw were the colors. The bright and lively colors of orange, red and yellow, dancing around her vision in fluid motion.
It was a beautiful thing to see, yet, it annoyed her because those colors were accompanied by the warmth of a particularly greater light source on her fur.
She understood what that meant, and it annoyed her even further.
The Sun was rising, illuminating the world with its warm rays. Those rays probably came through her window, and somehow landed on her face. Thus making her eyes see bright colors while still being under her eye sockets.
Still, despite being bothered by the Sun’s rays, she also found it quite difficult to move her face away from the sole window of her room. In fact, she couldn’t, nor did she want to move at all.
“Mea-nie...”, mumbled the little foal, directing her displeasure towards the Sun. And by extension, the one responsible for ‘creating’, and ‘rising’ it in the first place.
She did not despise the only source of Light that this Land had to offer. Nor did she prefer using her candles over the brighter rays during the day. It was just that, she didn’t feel the need to be disturbed after her previous dream. Her horrible dream.
Then suddenly, she heard a voice from below.
It was faint, almost inaudible. Nevertheless, those were reasons enough to spike her curiosity even further.
From the moment she awoke for the second time, she made sure to limit her movements as best as possible. She did not want to open her eyes, for she knew that if she did, a powerful light would hurt her vision.
And for Dinky, feeling hurt was considered a bad thing. It was wrong.
So, she had to rely on the obvious sense that allowed her to detect the sound in the first place.
She strained her ears in the direction of her bedroom door, hoping for the sounds to resume their course.
And eventually, they did.
The first that came was the sound of creaking wood, as if someone, somepony was walking a flight of stairs. They were slow, and a little unnerving. But they were also followed by another sound. This one being more enjoyable than the previous one : the sound of melodic humming.
“Not now...”, muttered the filly under her breath, understanding that she would soon be forced to leave her humid bed.
“Mommy, no... ”, she continued, while the sounds of creaking stairs and melodic vocal tune grew stronger by the seconds.
Until eventually, everything ceased as the noise finally reached the door’s entrance.
…
The filly heard the movement of a door handle being turned, and yet, the door itself did not make a noise.
No creaking sounds were heard--- and as realisation struck her, she had to force her ears to freeze and stay as immobile as possible.
That action only took her a fraction of a second to make, and that was because she had remembered.
Remembered something...
~~~ [[ . . . ]] ~~~
Over the past few days, she had told her mother about the weird noise her bedroom door would make.
Eventually, her mother then taught her about the words ‘squeaking’ and ‘creaking’, thus earning the little filly to use those words for over three hours of games and poorly attempted jokes.
The games consisted of mostly her, trotting very slowly inside her house, opening and closing the doors very slowly to generate the annoying sounds wherever she went.
Her mother, as the embodiment of motherly love and understanding (to her eyes), took it upon herself to tag along and mimic the joyful foal. The severity of their infectious laughter increased over the time.
Unfortunately it didn’t stop them from earning a few stares from the milk delivery pony, and a few gossiping neighbours who heard, and went to inspect the strange event.
After realising what was going on, they silently agreed to leave the duo with strained smiles on their faces.
But the filly, upon noticing them and thinking that their smiles seemed to ‘hurt ’, asked away her mother about it. She was later on reassured that it was always how they acted around the adult mare. And that it would be wrong to question them further on the subject, which the filly immediately complied, but still held on to the curiosity.
They later on made up for the interruption by attempting a few ‘not-so-scary’ stories, and ‘bad-but-strangely-hilarious' jokes despite the fact that the Sun was still high in the sky.
…
~~~ [[ . . . ]] ~~~
It always felt strange for her, for Dinky to have those long remembrance in less than a second.
She would relive events that took place weeks, if not months ago, and still know what words were spoken by whom, and when.
Indeed, she might have been bothered by this at first, but the fact still remained that having a highly excessive memory such as hers, and at a very young age was mostly unheard of ; without the use of powerful magic being at work.
Of course, no spells were cast upon her from the day she was conceived. Her use of magic amounted to never having used her horn at all. And any potential magical artefact would have easily been felt a kilometer away, if given the task at hoof.
No. Dinky was simply gifted with the ability to remember a little more than the average sentient lifeforms,... and almost never forget... Almost.
…
She remembered that on that day, after her afternoon rest, her mother had told her that she had left the house for a few hours to buy some food for the night and a few ‘unimportant items’.
But the empty aerosol lubricating oil in the kitchen trash can, followed by a small booklet on ‘how to stop squeaky door hinges’ were too much information for her little brain to understand what those ‘unimportant items’ purposes were…
...
Now, back Dinky's bedroom chamber, she would feel a pair of eyes watching her from across her room. Silently sneaking their way closer towards her location.
The room’s temperature, while now becoming warmer than before, would be followed by a soft and gentle breeze (no doubt from the intruder’s care to not make contact with the floor, and appreciate the sight of the ‘slumbering ' foal).
At last, four sets of hooves gently touched the ground next to the filly’s bed.
Now, Dinky didn’t feel the Sun’s rays anymore, for she believed her mother was shielding her from the window.
But she didn’t want to peek and abandon her disguise, because nothing seemed to happen after several seconds, as if she was still being stared at.
The thought alone made her feel uncomfortable. Not much for her to squirm from side to side, but unfortunately enough for her to realise that she may have committed something far worse than to pretend to be asleep. Something that her fur between her hind legs made contact with.
And as realisation struck her, she forced her eyes open, from fear and shame over what had resulted from her slumber.
Dinky Doo, had wet her bed…
…
A drop.
A lone drop.
When the little filly had opened her eyes to the waking world, a singular drop of liquid had found its way onto her muzzle.
It momentarily made her blink, slightly shifting her shame to that of confusion, and ignoring the towering form in front of her.
It felt so out of place that she couldn’t help but question “what is th--”, before remembering that her mother was still there.
“Good morning Muffin, today’s the big day.” Said Ditzy Doo, wiping away something from her eyes. “Why, you look as if you hadn’t slept at all”, she continued with concern. “Did something happen? Do you... wanna talk to Mommy about it?”
“Wha-da. What?”, repeated the little filly who could almost believe that her mother was crying, plunging her once more in the emotion that was known as confusion.
“Dinky Sweetie… Dinky, are you feeling OK?”, ushered the mother who was now placing one of her hooves over her foal’s forehead. “You don’t seem to have a fever”, she trailed.
…
As non-responsive as the filly remained, her mother came to the conclusion that forcing her foal to talk would probably render the situation in a negative way. So, she had but little to no other option than to physically console the offspring.
The action alone was quickly made, but with such care and gentleness that whomever hadn’t known her, would consider her touch no less than as that of a lover.
…
Having no concrete recollections of her dream, added with the constant surprise in events that occurred after her fading slumber, Dinky Doo, couldn’t help but return her mind to her shameless act.
She could still remember the day she vowed to act as a grown-up in bed, and do all that would be necessary to never wet herself during her sleep.
And so far, she kept her words true by not drinking a full glass of water or milk before bedtime. She even took on the habit to go to the bathroom, even if she truthfully didn’t feel the urge to.
The praises that were received from her mother, only aided her to cement the occasional routine, into a daily habit similar to that of a workaholic.
Everything had worked. And her bed only needed to be changed during laundry day.
Until today.
What would her mother think of her? Would she be disappointed in her for failing to keep her own promise? Would she still trust her in the future? And even more, would she still be loved?
Those were the ideas that flowed in the young’s innocent mind, paralysed in her mother’s embrace; unable to move as wild ideas became more incoherent with the passing seconds.
…
“Oh! Dinky... Mommy's here with you no matter what.” certified the adult mare, slightly tightening her hold as if the world was about to end for both of them.
She then started mumbling something under her breath. Too quiet for the little one to have noticed, but due to her close proximity caused by the embrace, Dinky would have sworn that the words that came out of her mother were anything but from her.
“… should have killed him instead of ...”
At those little words, Dinky’s eyes went wide, whereas her pupils contracted to the size of pinpricks.
She has heard of something similar in the past. When a drunken stallion was being detained by a group of royal guards, after being aggressive towards another mare and her foal.
She also couldn’t think that it came from the mouth of somepony as loving as her mother, which resulted in her subconsciousness burrowing the memories in order to protect her innocent mind.
But now…?
Now she felt ashamed, unworthy of trust, as well as feeling another kind of emotion…
It surrounded her mind whenever she woke up during the darkness of the night, or when she first thought that eating vegetables over candy and fruits was disgusting.
That feeling was not doubled, tripled, but perhaps went beyond what she had ever experienced.
“Sorry. Meanie dream.”
Her words were soft as the specks of dust who were visibly floating thanks to the morning’s light. Her mother whom had not expected her daughter to speak so soon, gently took the opportunity to probe her with care.
“I won’t force you to speak. And I won’t let anypony hurt you anymore, I promise”, said Ditzy who stopped the maternal hug in order to look at her foal in the eyes (and as best as she could).
“I. meanie.” Dinky’s eyes were now being filled to the brim, but she had to say it. Hearing those words from her mother did more than just shock her. It questioned everything that her mind could remember, as well as the information that her unconsciousness took the care to hide, and the things that she knew but failed to realise the meaning of.
It questioned what she truly knew about her home. Her life. Her world.
“I’m sorry Mommy.” she said, now letting the maddening flow of her tears reach for the old wooden floor.
“I’m sorry. I had a meanie dream.”
Of Broken Innocence and Shattered Realities
Chapter 2 - {{ Small Details }}
It was aware.
Always...
~~~ [[ . . . ]] ~~~
For most to any sentient living mortals on the realm of Equus, the cloudless view of the night sky would be considered a marvel to behold.
Not because to the luminescence of the countless and unique masterpiece that represented the Sun’s rest. Far from that actually.
And as a matter of fact, it was due to the lack of those glittering beauties that made this place, so fascinating: Las Pegasus.
Las Pegasus, also known as the city where “trotting dreams canter to the Elysian Fields ”.
Some would consider it a mouthful, however, its slogan was given after one of the first newspaper article review; about a new city created in a deserted land.
Financed by one of the oldest line of the wealthiest earth equine families to ever live,
it was also partnered by a group of half-bird / half-lion hybrids, and one bipedal bull to conduct business whenever the construction would be completed.
At first, many thought the idea as an insane, and mostly stupid project: to build a gigantic city in a desolated and lost desert, similar to a place called, ‘the Badlands’.
Even the bringer of the Sun, ruler of the land of Equestria, was advising against its creation, due to the economic backlash that such an investment would bring upon the State, and for future generations. That is, if the State were to ever financially supported the idea.
But now, that last and insignificant detail was only known by a few remaining and living individuals...
...
Thanks to the many candles, the numerous luminescent crystals and the countless magical light spheres, the environment became so bright with intensity and vibrant colours that, if one would look at the skies above, they would believe the city to be in a perpetual state of sunset.
The night sky of Las Pegasus, truly was a marvel to behold.
And anyone who visited this haven would feel proud to confirm this statement.
…
Anyone, who visited...
…
In the quiet suburbs of this city, where the previously countless lights would now amount to a few snuffed candles; where the activity of the people would be considered as quasi non-existent; where untold deals and practices were mostly done in dark alleyways; where very young and innocent female minors are rumoured to participate in … questionable activities, there was a building.
This building, barely grand enough to house a family with three children, was in fact, a soon-to-be-demolished store.
And inside this building, despite its neglectful state, a dark blue equine could be seen by one of its windows, watching, surveying, waiting.
For more than a dozen minutes, the figure stayed there, unmoving, unblinking, eyes piercing the horizon above, as if hoping for a sign to appear, to manifest itsel-- There!
The sign! The equine’s dark-green eyes grew wide as it took in every details of what it could perceive in that fraction of a second.
It would have been unbelievable if not for the uncounted studies, researches and experiments that were made to confirm this theory, ‘his ’ theory.
And now, now that same equine had a substantial proof on its hooves. No longer would it be mistreated, disrespected, shunned by its kin for his past mistakes. All that it would take would be t-- Again!?
A-another sign?!
…
A-ano-another sh-shooting star? Impossible!
It would have to be a mistake. Surely, the creature might have been deprived of a proper resting place for a very long time. Or at least, that is what it was trying to convince itself.
But in the back of it’s head, it just knew that on this very night; the moment it saw that second burning mass on the night sky of Las Pegasus, everything had went galloping through the proverbial window of his psyche.
“For more than three years, I’ve been observing, and studying”, it whispered to itself.
“On every night of the full moon, six hours before the rise of twilight, one shooting star would fall from the edge of the world”, it continued.
“This phenomenon, would be the signal that announces the approaching return of a powerful being in our land.” Murmured the fearful equine.
It stood there, tears forming into it’s eyes, before it continued on.
“But, If the cycle is ever tempered before the prophecy comes true, then another being far greater than the previous will make its way to reclaim our realm...” ended the trembling being.
“Maker! Please! May my findings be false.” Cried the hornless unicorn.
“Please...”
~~~ [[ . . . ]] ~~~
Far, far away from the outskirts of the realm of the Equestrian borders. A few miles near the center of all routes that is considered to be the capital of the world: Canterlot, a small town could be seen from far below.
In this town however, a particularly small two story house made itself clear amongst the numerous grand, and presentably decent settlements.
And throughout one of its upper windows, a grey pegasus could be seen, tightly hugging a small filly between her fore-hooves, and shielding her using her wings from an invisible foe.
It had been a few minutes of silence bonding between mother and daughter. And despite the quiproquo that took place a few minutes prior, all seemed to have come out resolved with the universal act that was known as ‘unconditional maternal love’.
Ditzy and Dinky, both unaware of their mutual misunderstanding, did not wish to continue upon the discussion. It may have been guided by the fear of losing one another, or preventing unease and suffering to take place. So, they stayed there, resolute in their silence.
It took them a while before the little filly could recompose herself, and cease her sniffling tears from staining her mother’s coat any further.
And it may seem questionable to say this, but they sure both needed it.
Slowly, Dinky Doo broke the embrace, and took it upon herself to look at all the mistakes she has made from the moment of her troubled rest, up until now.
Through her blurred vision, she could see her snout leaking, indicating that she still had tears to shed. She could also see the stain that was left on her mother’s chest, wet and viscid.
And most importantly, she could now feel the wetness of her bed sheets for what they truly were.
Those reminders would have been sufficient enough to create another wave of sobbing from the little one.
However, this time, her mother was now prepared for the situation.
“Ah ~ la! Ah oh ah la ~ la. ” Ditzy had begun to sing, softly exercising her vocal chords for the upcoming lullaby.
Dinky, upon hearing the first of those melodic notes, instantly recalled a blurry memory.
From a time far, far hidden under the layers of her infant past.
“When Momma Félina woke up from her slumber ,” she stopped sniffling, her curiosity increasing sky high.
“She counted her cubbies, sleeping under her fur .” Dinky realised that at the time, she could not remember those words, meaning that she might not have been able to talk at her age.
“But when she realised one was missing from her ,” It felt strange, but somehow, the filly was becoming less tense by the seconds.
“She searched far, high and wide to find her lost daughter .” Lost? Thought Dinky, her trance to the sweet lullaby was now utterly complete.
“The coldness of the North would never reach through her .” How could Momma Félina... , she thought.
“For her love was warmer than all combined fire .” Be so brave? she continued.
“The heat wave of the South was never a bother .” Is this somehow related to... , she mused at the idea.
“For her mind was frozen on finding her treasure .” Mommy? she finished her thought.
“Until finally, all her efforts had paid her .” …
“She finally found her small cub, her lost daughter .”
…
“That was pretty, Mommy”, the filly was finally able to say. She had a genuine smile on her face, which served to conclude that everything was truly fine on this beautiful morning.
“Now, how about we go grab something to eat?”, said the elder mare, smirking, while having one of her eyes drifting into random directions.
The other occupant immediately complied, jumping out of her bed, only to be expertly caught by the instincts of either a professional juggler, or a kind hearted mother with years of experienced love and care.
“It might be too sudden for you,” stated Ditzy, who was now drifting with her daughter between her hooves out of the room, only to stop momentarily to glance to the side of her foal’s haven space. “And I know that you’ve been asking it for a few weeks”, she stole her gaze away for the exit the chamber.
Dinky, curious as always, quickly craned her neck to the side, to look at the discarded toys her mother was looking at: a potato with straws hardly taking the shape of a quadruped being, an old doll who had seen far too many days, Mrs. Sweetie, and a wooden toy chariot that was found in the park without an owner to reclaim it.
“So, understand my surprise when I was only able to get a confirmation for about last night.”, added the mare.
“But,” she stopped hovering, then proceeded to gently place the filly onto the ground. “Maybe you can go on another day? I know I wouldn’t want to go after a nightmare”, she said with a light chuckle.
Dinky’s left ear twitched at the mention of the word ‘nightmare’, then tried to recall a conversation that would allow her to understand where her mother was getting at.
~~~ [[ . . . ]] ~~~
- “[...] able to get my cutie mark?”, recalled the little filly who screamed out of excitement.
“And not only that”, said her mother with a smirk, “you might even be able to learn about everything on Equus, even more than the Princess herself”, she had teased.
- “Wow!”, responded the amazed little one, her mouth open wide enough to catch two full grown parasprites. “Can I really do that?” She hoped in disbelief.
- “It all depends”, Ditzy, murmured to herself, momentarily caught in a nostalgic memory. “But right now”, she resumed with a serious tone in her voice, “I’m doing my best to get you enrolled as soon as I can. All that is needed now, is to complete the deal with Mrs Cheerilee. I’ll just have to borrow a few from the bank, then Equestria will finally see you for who you truly are.”
- “Haha! Mrs Cheery~lee”, parroted the foal. “What is ‘the deal’ with her?” She asked with foalish innocence, unaware that her words might have be interpreted as rude.
- “Well, it is Mrs Cheerilee”, corrected the elder, “Although I trust that you can learn by your own, as I did when I was younger. Getting to School is different: you have to pay the teacher so she could teach others, and maintain the building as well. Oh! And she is none other than Ponyville's newest and only [...]
~~~ [[ . . . ]] ~~~
“Teacher?”, said Dinky, coming to a sudden realisation of what was being said. “School?”, the word slipped out of her mouth, as if her thoughts were being vocalised.
“Yes.” confirmed Ditzy, hiding her embarrassment in front of her foal. “I should have told you of this sooner. At first, we had some ‘misunderstanding ’ with the bank, but I took care of everything as always, so don’t you worry. But, if you want, you can go tomorrow? Or even next week as we are Thursd~” nervously said Ditzy, before being interrupted by a high pitched sound.
“Yay!” Exclaimed the filly in an explosion of pure joy. “Today, I’m going to School. This is too good to be true”, she continued, until she stopped to correct herself. “No, it is even better: this is Great!”, she then proceeded to effortlessly repeat to herself in a sing-song manner, while chasing her own little tail in the process, “I’m going to sc~hool. I’m going to sc~hool.”
Her mother, on the other hoof, half-defeated and half-victorious, could only shake her head while taking in the radiant innocence that was displayed before her.
“Oh! Well”, she chuckled to herself. “we might be rushing things a bit, but at least, you’re now as happy as any foal can be.”
“What did you say Mommy?”, questioned Dinky, realising that her mother was talking just seconds ago.
“Oh! Nothing important. I was just glad to know that you’re OK going to school, even if everything barely passed in the last second.”, Ditzy sincerely said, with a true smile of her own.
“As a wise Zebra said: ‘if you are happy, and I am happy, then we should always have muffins for breakfast’”, stated Dinky, who started giggling after her statement.
“Euh! And who is this ‘Oh! Wise Zebra’ that came up with this wonderful truth ?”, questioned the elder mare, an eyebrow raised, and a smirk forming at the edge of her mouth.
As a response, Dinky, who saw her mother following along her antics, finally burst out laughing, and started to slowly gallop away from her, to the bathroom, where she would clean herself up.
“Dinkiky Do-doo the School Learner, and if you don’t catch me, euh. If you don’t catch her, all the knowledge of Ponyville will be lost, for~ever.”
“Oh! No you don’t” chased her mother. “Get back here, Dinkiky Do-doo the Not-Going-To-School Learner”, she said while playing along the line of yet, another great moment of bonding between mother, and foal.
~~~ [[ . . . ]] ~~~
It was aware.
Always...
And it had to act. Now!
Of Broken Innocence and Shattered Realities
Chapter 3 - {{ Unwanted Feelings }}
It was new, and as such, she was excited.
With the countless amount of time spent performing this task, never in her life had Dinky done it on her own.
In the past, it was always with her beloved mother, Ditzy. Always caring; so full of heart and strength.
According to her, because Ditzy’s eyes were mostly never focussed, they could always discern any flaws that would go unnoticed by other ponies.
And as proof, the grey pegasus was always right when it came to dressing her up her foal for special occasions.
Such as the event of Nightmare Night that came to pass a few months ago. Her choices on making little Dinky dress up as a royal guard, with strategically cut cardboard, layered with wall paint and party glitters were,... dangerously approaching the height of originality.
And if it weren’t for the obviously stunned looks plastered all over the other foals’ faces, as well as their parents during the festivities, Dinky would have thought her mother to be a decent seamstress. But now, she would always see her as the best. Even greater than that fancy white mare with purple mane who moved in town a few months back.
...
Now, Dinky’s mother had granted her access to a new path toward independence.
Of course, in no way would that translate to her mother not aiding in any form or way.
She would check-up on her filly from time to time, just to make sure nothing wrong would occur during her first time...
She just wouldn’t directly do it with her.
And that was what made it so exciting, and new!
Dinky Doo was about to take her first bath, alone.
~~~ [[ . . . ]] ~~~
In the end, the task of cleaning oneself was more difficult than Dinky might have imagined it.
Being in charge, compared to the countless times witnessing her mother cleaning her little body, made her realise just how draining it had been.
Not that she had quite the difficulty in dealing with the soap, using her hooves. Nope! That was totally not a challenge at all.
She also had totally not attempted to grab it with her mouth as well. So, there was little to no chance on Equus that, Dinky would have been able to answer one of the universal questions of all time: ‘the flavour of strawberry-scented soap’.
However, she did feel quite embarrassed when her excitement overtook her reasoning. Thus, earning the little one to mindlessly jump inside the already filled bathtub. And splash the surrounding wooden floor and scrapped wall tinted with green, as well as the slightly rotten wood furniture.
Not to mention the sudden change of temperature (as small as it seemed), that her body had to adapt itself to. Thankfully, if it weren't for her mother, who had already poured the water on an acceptable level of warmth, who knows what might have happened if the foal had to add it on her own…
Now, soaked from head to hoof, and sober from the emotional joy and excitement that blinded her judgement, Dinky chose this opportunity in order to dive into her memories. It was a simple habit amongst many that she chose to partake into whenever she sees herself alone.
However, this time, the reason behind it was motivated by a cold feeling that had crept itself behind her back.
The same feeling that manifests itself whenever our subconsciousness is trying to warn us of something that has been forgotten.
...
~~~ [[ . . . ]] ~~~
One day, or according to Dinky’s memory, three months and fourteen days from now, she would remember that during this particular morning, she wanted to surprise her mother by making her breakfast on her own.
Usually, having a hard time waking up before ten o’clock. she was surprised that the clock in the living room indicated that she was awake, forty-two minutes earlier than expected. And knowing that it was the weekend, she also presumed that her mother would take her time to rest a little longer than the usual hard days of work. So, she decided that the least she could do would be to make her a nice morning meal as a gift.
It would also prove to her mother that, Dinky could take care of herself and the kitchen, if ever unsupervised.
Of course, being as small as she was, the little filly knew that she wouldn’t be able to prepare much of a feast. Mainly due to the fact that, she couldn’t reach for certain items in the kitchen shelves. It was during those moments that she wished she could levitate objects with her small horn.
Piling up the list of limitations presented before her, she realised that she was also forbidden to use the kitchen stove and oven, which slightly stung her motivation to proceed. However, no matter how far she searched inside her mind, never once did she encounter herself being told to not use the family toaster.
So, with a mental checklist, she formulated a healthy recipe for her sole role model.
Having access to the lower cabinets, Dinky was able to take a slightly damaged ceramic plate with her mouth, an old highball glass, and a bag of sliced bread. She also took a few leftover muffins that were kept in the oven (to be kept at bay of flying insects that would venture inside the kitchen).
She than took four slices of bread, added two inside the toaster, then made sure that her hooves were dry before plugging the device to the only magical heating generator her mother could afford.
The device was an oval shaped crystal that could roll on itself for transport by any equine race. Its size varies based on the amount of power it can sustain. Designed with simple, to complex runic symbols, in order to contain the amount of magical power needed, it can only output said magical source through a stream of low to high heat wave. And best of all, the brighter and warmer the crystal’s colouration is, the more the amount of energy contained is near it’s full capacity. So everypony would know when the device would need to be replenished, or replaced.
And so far, the filly always saw the heating crystal with a sombre colouration of blue...
After about three minutes of waiting for the bread, Dinky unplugged the device, then proceeded to fill the glass with some apple juice from a small barrel. It would not do her well to burn her lips by taking the toasted goods right away from the device. So after a few minutes of waiting, she then took the bread from the magical tech, then placed them on the plate.
And that was it ! The perfect breakfast a filly such as her could make for a mother as great as hers.
A plate of two toasted slices of bread, a leftover muffin from the previous day, and a mildly cool drink full of flavour and sweetness from the only farm around: Sweet Apple Acres. She was also impressed that she had managed to do all that in less than fifteen minutes. As well as she hadn’t broken anything in the process. At least, she could take pride in that.
She hurried herself, by eating the two unheated slices of bread, to avoid leaving many crumbs behind, drank a few from the already filled glass of juice (that was later on refilled), then looked at the time to see how much was left before ten o’clock.
To her relief, she only took about five minutes to eat her own breakfast. She was also grateful that barrel of juice was recently filled and still fresh as well, contrary to the previous days. That made her smile at the prospect of not giving her mother a simple glass of water.
~~~ [[ . . . ]] ~~~
That day had been a good day for Dinky Doo. Due to the fact that it was her first time making breakfast for her mother, on her own, and without the so called ‘adult supervision ’ she was always told about. And had to constantly be under watch as well.
She was able to take another step toward being a responsible grown-up. One that would one day, and hopefully, take care of the one she loves the most.
That day had been a good one for Dinky, as well as all the others that came before, and after…
And maybe, just maybe, the days to come would be filled with the same heartfelt, monotonous, and enjoyous time until they could no longer be.
From the very first memory that Dinky could vaguely recall, of herself being in an unknown and dark tunnel, until she would be blinded by the light of this world.
To a time when she had tried, and almost succeeded in counting to one hundred, in order to lift her mother’s mood. Said ‘mood’ who was previously soured by something that involved bits, the house, and a word that she hadn’t asked the definition of yet, which was : ‘seizure’.
Dinky Doo now stepped out of the bathtub. She stayed still on a towel that was already set on the floor, near the marble container. Scanning her surroundings once more, she quickly spotted another towel. This one was smaller in size, dry, and placed by someone else, just so that she could reach for it at any given time : It was hers. So her mother did come, and the filly hadn’t noticed her presence.
“Thank you Mommy”, she whispered to herself.
She truly felt at peace, and found herself in a state serenity,... near placidity.
She was about to take the towel with her hooves, until she came up with another idea…
With both of her eyes closed, she proceeded to think about her towel... She thought about its softness, and its absorbent texture, its weight, its size, and its location right in front of her.
With those information now in her mind, she tried to think about her horn… She thought about its furless and polished state, its size, and tried feeling for the nerves that was connecting it with her whole body.
She tried to think about those two objects at the same time. How the first object would have to be drawn near the second, without the latter moving at all. She wasn’t trying very hard, but instead was going by the flow of her emotions. It felt nice, she felt peacef—.
She felt something, not on her body, or anywhere else near her, but inside of her: inside her mind. Something was there, but what? She did now know.
It moved, but also kept still at the same time. It wasn’t always the same, as if it was shifting, changing to adapt to its very surrounding.
“Are you, the flow of magic?”, muttered Dinky to no one in particular.
The ‘flow of magic’ was what she overheard from a patrolling solar guard who, was conducting a search near the Everfree forest a few days ago. At the moment, she hadn’t understood what those words meant. But with her short years of unforgetting memories, she quickly came to the conclusion that, only a unicorn could be able to help her understand.
Strangely, as if to respond to her question, this ‘flow’ stopped moving, as if frozen in time for just a few seconds. It then resumed to change itself again, but unlike before, it wasn’t trying to adapt anymore or play by the limitations of its environment.
Instead, this ‘flow’ seemed to shape the settings of her mind to its will...
“G̷̵̀͘͡ò̷͝͞ ҉̶̧͢͝b̕͞à̵̧͡͡c̸͟͏ḱ͏.̸̧̛͞.̵̵̢̕.̨̢͘”, heard Dinky from somewhere.
The ‘flow’ was now taking a defined shape of something. She couldn’t see it with her own eyes, but her mind tried to visualise it as best as possible.
“Ṕ͏̶ļ̢̕͘e̵̡̢͟a͢ś͟͡e̶͜,̨́ ̛̛͞͞h̴͟ȩ̴̛͠ ́͡n̷͘e҉͏̸͢e҉̡͘͝ḑ̛͢͜ś̷͞͡ ̴͟y҉̸͜o̕̕͝͞ưr̷̢͘͢҉ ̵̧̢h̛́ȩ̵̸̡͟l̡̨͝p͝͝.̵̢̧”.
The filly felt very much confused. Is this how magic worked? Is there always a voice in the back of a unicorn’s mind speaking with strange and unsettling words?
Now, the mental image that she came up with was unlike anything she could have ever imagined. It was so strange that it frighten her from the moment she had thought about it.
It was devoid of any fur on most of the form it had taken. Its mane however, was so long that it had reached, and was now dragging in a non-existent floor. This ‘flow’ was beyond anything she knew. And to top it all off, it stood straight on its hind-legs in a way that would be painful to any equine.
Dinky was now scared. This was definitely not what she had wanted. She couldn’t even start imagining herself taking her towel with something like that! It would just be too much.
She was about to open her eyes when something caught her attention.
On the forelegs of this ‘flow’, she was able to spot five small appendages that resembled as something familiar. Something, that would ease her pain, and chase away any bad thoughts of hers.
She was on the verge of being terrified, but, that emotion immediately returned to the peaceful state of mind she had before closing her eyes.
It was strange, she didn’t know what it was, and she truly thought that she should be scarred as a flea being introduced to a magic flea repellent. But somehow, just by watching those stick-like spider hooves, those fearful emotions just, spirited away.
Now, she felt that she could stay there for hours without end, without fear, without 'hurt'...
But where was 'hurt' being involved in all of this? Surely, she wasn’t suffering from anything, was she?
But, maybe it had something to do with the tiny strand of hair between its hind-legs. Or its shivering that would make her believe that this ‘flow’ was feeling cold? Or, maybe it had something to do about those chains Dinky could now visualise on this shape : both of its hind-legs, forelegs, and what she could imagine being it’s neck. She couldn’t tell. It all felt so stran—.
*K-GRAK *
Dinky’s eyes were opened wide to the sight in front of her. Laid on the floor before her was none other than her mother. Past her, what used to be the bathroom door was now a few broken pieces of rotten wood.
Ditzy groaned a little out of her discomfort, before she immediately bolted on her four hooves in order to search for something. When both of her eyes were focused on her daughter, she flew and embraced her as best as she could.
“Oh! Dinky, is everything ok?, Did you hurt yourself, did anything bad happen to you?” she quickly demanded.
“Oh! Dear Maker! I wanted to tell you that breakfast was ready, but...” she choked out on a few words, “you just wouldn’t respond to me.” She continued, before hugging her foal once more.
“And how on Equus was the door locked in the first place?!” she finally snapped, before whispering to herself.
“I thought the monster had finally found us...”
After several seconds, and greeted with no response from her questions, the grey pegasus slowly let go of her grasp to better look at her little unicorn. And what she saw made her pause yet again before speaking once more.
“Muffin? Are you alright?” she carefully questioned.
Dinky had a smile upon her face…
A smile so calm and tranquil, that it would be criminal to say that is wasn’t harmonious.
She hadn’t felt surprised seeing her mother on the floor, after busting through the door.
She hadn’t felt panic that her mother would hurt herself if she tried to stand up from the floor.
She hadn’t felt sad to see a lone stream of blood flowing from her mother’s forehead.
She hadn’t felt concerned when she was tackled by the embrace of her mother’s concern and worries.
She just felt, at peace, with no care for whatsoever. Just, at peace.
The filly closed her eyes in order to process her newfound feelings. Or rather her lack of empathic emotions. She wanted to be scared, she wanted to ask if her mother was going to be alright, even despite being under the effect of this serene state of mind. But when she opened them, an object that was hidden inside the wall cabinet chose this right moment to fall on the floor, and roll itself right towards her. Probably due to the door being broken.
The strange item was something that resembled a rod, but shaped like something that shouldn't be alive. It was made entirely out of blue rubber and, when she looked at it for the first time, she did not know why, but the face of a colt was the first thing that came to her mind.
So when she spoke, her question for her mother’s well-being changed to that of this foreign object beside her.
“Mommy, what is this thing?”, asked Dinky to her mother.
Ditzy stared blankly at her daughter’s hoof, pointed at the alien item that was beside her. She then took a quick glance at the object, then back at her daughter's hoof, until her whole face was staring straight right at the filly’s face with a look of horror and shame.
All hair on her body straightened, letting the world view the pink red embarrassment (that was her blush) that was hidden under her light coloured fur and tuckered wings.
And, with a speed that Dinky hadn’t known existed, the strange object disappeared in a flash of yellow.
“Oh! No, no, no. Don’t worry sweetie. Just, euh, forget about it OK?”, said the pegasus who was now standing on her hind legs. And slowly backing away from the filly, using her wings to keep her balance, as if she had something hidden behind her back.
“Are you OK Mommy? You look hurt.” finally released Dinky who didn’t know if she could keep herself from being calm for so long. She had to know if her mother was still in pain. After all, she was technically bleeding from her head. And the filly felt the urge to do something, if it could ease her mother’s trouble.
On instinct, Dinky turned her head to the shelf where the unknown object had fallen from ; where the first aid kit would be located in case of an emergency.
“It’s, it’s alright Sweetie. Just…” her mother’s eyes started to drift in different directions. “Dry yourself real quick, then prepare yourself for breakfast. Haha.” She attempted, and faked a laugh to convince her little one that all was well.
“I’ll have to, euh, take care of something important”, she urged before taking one look at the broken door, and was now no longer there.
Whatever had happened to Dinky, however she felt towards her surrounding, she somehow hoped that it would be the first, and last time it would happen.
She hoped that everything would be alright, and go back to the way things were.
She didn’t hate the feeling of being at peace, but was afraid of not caring enough if something worst ever happened to her mother.
She had to do something. She didn’t know what, or how, but she had to do something.
So without thinking any further, Dinky started drying herself with a big towel that, mysteriously was already on her back, then proceeded to apply a few inodore perfumes (mainly flees and insects repellent) on her body, before going downstairs, and into the kitchen with the first aid kit in mouth.
If anything, and before going to school, she wasn't going to ignore her mother's pain. And it wasn't going to start today.
~~~ [[ . . . ]] ~~~
"If only you knew", murmured a mournful feminine voice located near the residence of the 'Doo' family. "If only you knew..."
Of Broken Innocence and Shattered Realities
Chapter 4 - {{ Path to Knowledge }}
Pears, oranges, lychees, strawberries, grapes, mangos, and bananas.
These are the six fruits that Dinky Doo has found herself enjoying throughout her short life.
Indeed, in the years to come, and if luck is watching over her, she might discover more sweet and natural delights on which her tongue would be grateful to discover.
Ever since her mother could afford to buy one of those small baskets, she had developed, and just couldn’t find the strength in herself to resist eating them all.
And so, each time mother Ditzy came home with a bag full of groceries, it came as no surprise that those formerly mentioned fruits would disappear before the next day.
Pears, oranges, lychees, strawberries, grapes, mangos, and bananas.
In the past, the small filly had firstly favoured apples amongst all things edible.
They were the most unimaginable, tasteful, juicy and not to mention flavour exploding experience she ever came across.
However, while being introduced to the same great taste time after time, something had changed in her perspective toward those fruits.
It was slow, but it was there nonetheless. The shine in her eyes slowly dulled into boredom.
Each time, the apples she ate were made with less energetic bites.
And unconsciously, she accompanied them with other drinks or food instead of eating it alone.
Until one day, she surprised herself having totally lost interest in the apples when they were starting to turn brown after a few days of going untouched.
And now, here she is, staring at two apples on the small two seater dining table. Her mouth biting on the strap of the first aid kit she took from the bathroom moments ago.
Her mind, thinking of the time when she expressed love, joy and excitement during the days her belly craved for those 'best Sweet Apple Acre's apples '.
She felt ashamed.
If she was any other filly or colt, she probably would have never remembered those small anecdotes of the past. Such as the times when she was carefree, like this morning before taking a bath, playing with her mother.
She would have loved to forget every single jokes, so that she and her mother would both laugh again, and again over the same 'knock-knock' phrases and terrible puns.
She would have loved to forget about the sad expressions plastered on her mother's face, only to remember the smiles and the euphoric laughter they shared, instead of having all.
She would have loved to forget about the silent cries her mother would make during the night, or the strange words that would come out of her mouth that, for the most part would confuse, and sometimes frighten her.
Dinky heard the sound of hooves reaching for downstairs. Whatever her mother was doing, it hadn't taken long.
"Gnagny?", inquired the pale purple filly as her mother reached the kitchen.
She directed a hoof to the first aid kit in her mouth, then pointed it in the direction of her mother's head, "Kang I helk, klease?"
As usual, Ditzy's eyes wandered in random paths, until she understood what her daughter wanted to do.
Indeed, she still had that trikle of blood from breaking the door to the bathroom. She thought her daughter was in danger, or that somepony, or something wanted to do her harm. So it would be normal for someone like herself to ignore something as such.
And as it turned out, she could only come up to the conclusion that poor little Dinky might have locked the door by mistake. And might have also had her head under the bathtub's water playing when she cried out her name.
But she could also be wrong. It wouldn't be wise for a mother to guess when things aren't understood by her. If anything, her daughter could help her understand the situation if she just asked what went wrong.
So, with a defeated sigh, the grey pegasus sat on her haunches and let the little one do her work.
"You win doctor Dinky," she said. "I guess I went a little to far with that door", she continued; laughing a little at her own joke.
Doctor Dinky nodded, placed the small box on the floor, then opened it to survey its content.
She was met with a bottle of transparent liquid, a few cottons, a roll of bandages, and three band aid.
She already knew that the bottle would cause 'hurt ' if applied to any wound. And she would have never wished to bring pain, even if it was necessary. So to do it on the one pony that she loved the most? She ignored the bottle.
Also, she had never seen her mother use the bandages. And added to the fact that the wound looked very small, she decided not to use it as well.
That only left the band aid and the cottons to be used. She could work with that.
The unicorn picked a sizable cotton with her mouth, then tried to apply it on her patient's head, which was a little higher than expected.
Said patient, while witnessing the whole event, silently lowered her head with a smile plastered on her face.
Her bundle of joy, while concentrated in action, was just too cute to resist smiling at. She was just thankful that she did not let an 'aww' escape when the small one was hesitant in using the antiseptic bottle.
However, her concerns resurfaced as soon as she was applied the cotton on the forehead.
"I was afraid something bad had happened to you," she started conversing "I didn't know what to think of when the door was locked, and that you couldn't respond to me. I guess, I was afraid of losing you when you hadn't replied."
Dinky pause for a few seconds, then proceeded to lower the now crimson cotton down in order to reach for a band aid.
The view of blood was one of the things that frighted her to the spine. It would have paralyzed her to just think of the taboo meaning of seeing blood on another living being.
But knowing that this substance was leaking from her mother, momentarily rendered her oblivious to her past and minor fears.
"No. It's my fault", the filly confessed while taking one band aid and trying to peal it open with her mouth and hooves.
"You know you can tell me anything", the mother conveyed. "Good or mean things will never separate us, no matter what. So please Muffin, tell Mommy what happened."
"I. I tried to use magic, but every time I do, it goes meanie. I thought today could be different. But, as always : meanie" finished the foal.
"Is that why you couldn't hear me calling out to you?" finally understood the mare, who was responded with a nod.
"Well, if that's the case, then I don't think it went meanie on you."
"Huh!?" Was the only thing the small one could say, before she was embarrassed in a warm and strong hug.
"I can't believe you made it ! I'm so proud of you Dinky." Again, she was surrounded by warmth and confusion.
"I. What did I do ?" finally questioned the unicorn who was getting more lost by the seconds.
"Think Muffin, every time you try to use magic, it fails. You were never able to cast a single spell ; not even light up your horn at all." Those words strung on Dinky for the duration of those phrases. "But. But today, even if things didn't go as you wanted, you were finally able to use magic for the first time."
Dinky's eyes widened at the realisation, while her mother continued on.
"If you couldn't hear me, then the spell you used must have given you trouble listening or something."
How could Dinky not have thought about it up until now ? The disturbing absence of emotions, the flow of magic , the voices, it all made sense now. It was her first experience ever on the uses of magic, so maybe things like visualising an alien creature with cuffs and chains is considered normal for unicorns ?
She would have to think about this for later.
"Maybe a sound proof spell?" asked her mother to herself, until she shook her head in disapproval.
"Nan, the books say that's too advance. So, perhaps you were too focused to notice that I tried to call you ?" She said while eyeing her daughter.
"What spell did you want to cast, before I literally crashed in ?", she said with a smirk.
But if the pegasus could compare her smile to that of her small unicorn, then she would surely lose the contest.
"I tried to--- I tried to bring a towel with magic," she nearly screamed in overjoyed excitement "Magic ! I tried magic to bring a towel to me !"
"So, levitation spell huh. Well then congratulation Muffin on your first magic spell." and again, the filly was greeted by a hug, however, this one was tighter then the previous embarrasses. "It doesn't matter if you succeeded in levitating the towel. Or even if you locked the door in the process now. I'm just so proud of you right now."
Little Dinky was happy. She couldn't contain her wide smile or think of sad memories anymore.
She was just happy that despite it all, some things at the very least, would end on a happy note for the both of them.
"So, how about we eat now," Ditzy proposed while glancing at the kitchen clock. "School is supposed to start in about forty minutes. That leave us plenty of time to eat, then head outside. What do you say Doctor ?"
"Doc--. " stuttered the unicorn, before looking back down of the first aid kit, the forgotten and unapplied band aid, and the bloody cotton.
"I ---", she never got to continue her phrase when her mother pressed one fore-hoof on her muzzle.
"Nah! Nah! Not on my watch," Ditzy countered. "This is a special day for you, that means I have to spoil you as much as I can. You've been able to take a bath on your own, you were able to use magic after all those times. And now, you're going to have the best breakfast ever before going to school. And let me tell you, that's where I hope you make your first classmate friends ! Isn't this exciting ?! I know am, so just take a seat and wait for Mommy while I prepare everything for you."
Little Dinky wasn't going to crush the mood that brought happiness for both her, and her mother. So she complied, and sat on one of the two seater table's chair, while her mother quickly applied alcohol on a piece of cotton to be put on her bruise, then went upstairs with the aid kit fully repacked on her back. The pegasus made one last look at her foal, before vanishing as fast as she could to prepare for the day.
When Dinky looked at the table's content, she was met with the two apples that stared at her before her mother came downstairs.
She didn't like apples anymore. Sure, they were good to eat, but they always felt dull to her taste with its predictable flavour.
However, she really did not want to drag the happiness away from them both.
"Guess, I'll have to like you once more Mr. and Mrs. apple", she said with a mixture of boredom and happiness. "For Mommy..."
~~~ [[ . . . ]] ~~~
Both mare and filly stared at the quiet morning fog that blanketed their small town.
At first, the former of the two was confused as to why the weather team had not taken care of their namesake duty by now. Being involved in past misfortunate accidents over time, made her aware of how small changes in the climate could lead to potential dangerous situations to anypony. And there was no way in Tartarus that she would dare fly with her filly on her back with that visibility. So she made the both of them walk their way to the latter's new place of learning.
And besides, it would serve as a good excuse to make small talk and help the foal remember her way home on the way back. Just in case Ditzy is forced to stay at work for an extra hour or two...
Pride...
Pride is the emotion we feel when our long dedication, devotion, and hard word rewards us in ways we sometimes don't expect.
It is commonly felt when a fellow co-worker finally shows you true respect. When your artistic passion is viewed in high regards to the public...
When your foals thank you for everything you've done ever since they were greeted to their lives.
Well, close enough. Ditzy might not be ready for more than her muffin. She might also not be ready to... make one.
But maybe her Dinky will understand, not having a little brother, or sister. Maybe...
The grey pagasus violently shook her head.
She had to get her attention on track. For crying out loud, it is her filly's first day at school, and already she was wandering in her mind, in the middle of their path.
Thankfully, while Ditzy glanced at her daughter, the latter seemed to have not seen her weird behaviour.
At that, a sad smile graced her muzzle. She just hoped her angel's innocence would last for a few more years.
Hopefully, a little bit longer than herself, after she had lost her daddy.
"Dinky?", started the mare, earning the smile of her little accomplice. "I've been thinking about some things in the past."
"Oh! Yay!" cried the filly in joy. "Something new already? From the past of Mommy? Oh! let me guess, let me!" she pleaded-demanded.
"Why would I ever stop you muffin ? Go on, go crazy", Ditzy continued.
It was rare for her to see Dinky so talkative outside their small wooden haven. She always ever preferred to play with her mother, or Mrs. Sweetie, and rarely with other foals. And when she does gets to play with them, it was mostly with colts who liked dangerous games such as racing, play tag, or pretend to be a superpony and fight crimes and evil kings. No tea-parties, no dolls and play house. Both mother and foal had plenty of that with themselves already.
"Am I going to be able to use all the kitchen? Like, the stove and everything to bake muffins like you do? Or, maybe I'll finally be able to broom the house? You never let me because you say I can get sick with dust, but [...]"
Ditzy was paralysed.
In the world of magic that is Equus, their exists many races in which, one in particular stands out amongst the rest : the ponies.
They are represented by three tribes which are the earth ponies, the unicorns, and the pegasi.
The pegasi, are capable of flight, and in their own domain can harness the element of the climates : shaping clouds and cool breezes, as well as provoking thunderstorms and hails.
However, for those who have a minimum of in-depth knowledge in species and the sharing of traits, they would know that these creatures were the recipient of countless gifts that were improved and mastered over the generations.
And it just so happen that Ditzy had a gift of her own. A rare trait, different from the vast majority of ponies and their abilities.
Unknown to anypony, her daughter included, she had developed the passive ability to detect if somepony, anypony was tracking or spying on her.
At first, in her past, the mare thought she was going mad ; that her traumatized childhood drove her to paranoia and maybe worst. She was so far from the truth, and yet so close.
And now, she could distinctively feel the presence of three individuals. Stalking her. Watching her. Judging her. Thus the reason why she halted.
She looked to her left, and saw a blue coated and pink mane mare following another pink coated mare sporting a blue mane heading towards the town spa. Probably the owners of the place, going by their features and synchronised march. Twins. Sisters, daughters of a moth--
Ditzy shut her eyes while silently cursing to whatever beings were letting her mind wander who-knows-where.
She looked to her right, and saw that Dinky had also stopped in her tracks to stay close with her mother. Past the filly, she saw a stand owner stallion who was preparing his place of market. He had stopped in his activity to watch the citizens pass by, and unfortunately his wide eyes and sudden urge to look at his products confirmed Ditzy that he must have been the first out of the three onlookers.
Dinky however, was about to ask if her mother was feeling alright. But she never had to question her worries as a new voice made itself known.
"Hey! Hey, Derpy! Are you lost in dreamland again or something?" asked the raspy voice of a female from above.
By the voice alone, Ditzy already knew the pony to which it belonged. And sadly realised that this one must have been the second 'stalker'. So with a sigh, she gestured for her foal to continue on their path with her, and ignore the foreign voice. She could now see the school house from afar. And a few colts and fillies, some of them accompanied by their elders as well, taking the same path as her.
She was close, an instant glance also confirmed that Dinky was still at her side, but watching behind herself.
If luck was still with her, then she could have her muffin open a little more while talking. Just enough for the nearby foals to have an interest and her, and maybe become her first school friends? First is crucial after all, no matter the field.
A pity, for she never had to enact on her plan, as a cyan blur shot down and made contact with the ground in front of the duo.
The impact was just enough to gather their attention, as well as several others. But not to hard to result in minor discomfort or pain.
"What?! What kind of freaking Hydra bit you to think you can just ignore me like that ?", exclaimed the newly arrived pegasus.
"First you fail at work, forcing me to fire you because of your disability, and now here you are foal-sitting ?" she said while raising her voice, thus gaining the attention of more passerby.
"Does this filly's parents even know how much trust they put on your shoulders if an accident ever happens Derpy ? Do you ?" she said with disbelief, mixed with a ting of fear.
"Mommy! Why is this pony meanie ?" questioned the filly, who startled the cyan blue mare.
"Mommy?... As in, what the buck ?!..." she said. "When did that... you're a mom... how did I not... who's the father... Is this real life ?!" Exasperated by her own shock and revelation, the pegasus shot herself in the air, and away. And started to clear out the clouds and the fog in her attempt to think clearly about what she just heard.
Ditzy frown. She knew that this troublesome arrival would end her duty faster than any other pegasi. She knew that she would be questioned once more in public, and earn more stares than she could hope to not care about.
The few colts and fillies that had witnessed her were now resuming their journey.
She just hoped that they weren't the type to start rumours. Or else, her poor daughter might become a new and potential target for bullies, or worst.
"Mommy ?" now questioned the little Dinky in a hushed tone.
Her mother looked at her, and saw that she was now feeling nervous.
The very excitement that carried the little one from the safety of their home, to their actual location seemed as if it never was.
More foals were now coming to view as the rays of sunlight was finally able to pierce through the fog. She had to make a decision, or else her daughter would suffer the consequences. She would curse herself later, but for now, she had to act.
She calmed herself. Took a deep breath. And spoke. "I just remembered something muffin. I'll be late for work too if I don't hurry up." she lied.
"But--" attempted to respond Dinky, who was quickly cut off.
"Don't worry, you can now see the school house up the hill, can you?" the little one looked at the other trotting younglings, and hesitantly nodded in the direction of the red building atop the hill.
"Just follow the rest of the foals, and you'll be alright, I promise." the pegasus forced herself to smile.
The morning fog was almost completely gone now.
"Oh! And take this as well", she opened the saddle bag that was strapped on her side, and took out a small metal box.
"Inside, I made you your favourite lunch for recess. And if there's too much, you can always share it with your new friends. I know they'll love it too." Dinky silently took the box with her mouth by the strap handle.
"And remember" a gentle kiss was made on the filly's forehead. "I'll do my best to come get you after school. But if I'm not their, I also put the house keys in the box. Just in case."
"Gnagny ?--" the little one tried to gain her elder's attention.
"I love you too muffin." She spread her wings in preparation. "My little Dinkiky Do-doo . I'll always love you."
And she took flight. "Always." Leaving her little muffin behind, on her new experience.
~~~ [[ . . . ]] ~~~
A few seconds later, the cyan blue pegasus from before landed a few meters from Dinky. She looked to her left, and right as if in search of somepony. The attempted to converse with the underage.
"So..." she trailed off. "You know where your mommy went ?"
She was greeted by silence.
"... Oh! The silent treatment, huh!", the adult mare snickered, before tilting her head as if in realisation. "Or maybe you don't talk to strangers ?"
Again, silence was her response.
"Yeah! I'll go with answer number two. Oh buck! I really wanted to give her a piece of my mind to that.." She cut herself off with both hooves covering her muzzle. "Sorry! huh. Guess I got carried away there." She offered out her right hoof for a shake. And that's when Dinky started to back off from her.
"Don't worry little bud. I may look tough, but I'm no evil monster. By the way, just call me Rainbow Dash. Or RD for shorts... You know what, stick with Rainbow Dash, that way you won't mix it up with Rainy Days or Rising Dream. Oh! Did I mention that I'm also the fastest flyer in all of Equestria ?"
Dinky did not feel like talking. If anything, she wanted to scream, yell and demand why her mother had remembered about her job, only after this 'Rainbow Dash' had come and called her that . She already considers the name that was spoken to describe the one she loves as a bad name, and insult. All thinks to this other pegasus with rainbow coloured mane.
She could fight back. She could fight and protect her mother by correcting, demanding that pegasus to stop calling her the way she did. She knew a few colourful words herself to which she had not the definition of, yet. They were picked, and stored in her memories, as almost everything else. A mare who screamed a name at her supposed husband, a royal guard talking about a prisoner, and old donkey who was splashed with mud by accident, while holding a box of chocolate and a bouquet of flowers. Her mother would be happy to know that--
Dinky had to retract from her actual thoughts for just a moment. She wondered if her mother would be happy. The latter herself did not try and correct the name calling when it was made. And instead, remembered that she had to leave, and very fast. Their was also the strong possibility that Rainbow Dash would just simply ignore her. Her options were getting smaller and smaller by the seconds.
Rainbow Dash, on her side was getting nervous and impatient. She never knew that Ditzy had a daughter. In fact, she may have never known Ditzy at all. As of now, she still believes that the cross-eyed and grey pegasus's actual name, is in fact the 'nickname ' that was given to her long ago : Derpy . And the one she found out to be her offspring is not easing the situation with her silence. So in her opinion, maybe it was a lost cause to begin with, to clear out the clouds as if clearing her mind, than demand an explanation out of a frightened filly who would probably be late if she stayed longer with the 'stranger' that she is.
The mare sighed. "Well, nice talking to you little bud. But, can I at least know your name before you get late to school ?" The words just came out of her mouth as the pegasus thought. If she had considered her words, then maybe the filly wouldn't have realized that she had to go there in a hurry, even if their was still time to spare.
Unfortunately, for the cyan mare, Dinky galloped away from her, lunch box in her mouth as well as an unreadable expression on her face.
...
"Dang it !" Rainbow cursed to herself. "Nah! But seriously! It's times like these when I want to know how Flutter does it." she continued while watching the little one gallop with her little hooves, almost reaching the hill where the school is located. "Danm it Derpy! If I knew you were that screwed up to not let le know you had a foal for all those years, I would have..."
She stopped herself, closed her eyes, took a deep breath, than opened them. She had nothing to do here and now. Derpy had vanished to Celestia-knows-where, and the latter's daughter was too spooked to even tell her own name. She took a few seconds to clear the clouds and replace them with new ones, but got around two minutes to get rid of the fog. Her job was done. And all that she could do now was either go back to sleep, or start her morning exercises that she had halted in order to spy on what she thought was Derpy's job as a foal-sitter.
She wasn't expecting THAT .
Rainbow Dash took flight, and soared in the direction of the town's library. She heard from Mayor Mare (the mare of the village), that a few ponies were assigned to accommodate the public building so that one could actually live inside. They were shutting down storage rooms for books to create a bathroom, a kitchen, and even a bedroom for two.
While not being a fan of books, she could volunteer and help carry a few supplies here and there. And not getting paid was no issue at all. If anything, it would work as a substitute form of workout for her. She helps others, and helps herself at the same time. Win-win situation.
Yeah! she could work with that.
~~~ [[ . . . ]] ~~~
Dinky slowed her pace upon arriving near the gates of the school building. There were now more fillies and colts than she had ever seen, all gathered in one singular location. All of them, here to learn under one roof. Discover and experience all the wonders life has created, and the possibilities they could use to grow, and become what they've always dreamed to be. A place where they could learn just enough to gain their true mark.
She looked behind her, where she saw the cyan blue 'Rainbow Dash' had previously taken to the air, to land in front of her and her mother, after the latter had tried to ignore the insult that was directed towards her.
Now, she couldn't see the cyan blue mare anymore. She even tried to spot her on a cloud nearby, but only resulted in looking as if she was lost.
A sigh of relief was made as a small smile graced her lips. She was finally away from the pony that made her mother unhappy.
She was starting to feel something crept on the back of her spine.
"Hi there!" startled, Dinky tentatively turned around to see who had addressed her. And thankfully, it was just another one of the foals who came with her.
This one was another filly just like her, but without a horn, or a pair of wings. This one was an earth pony. Her fur was light brown with no gradient or spots on her body. Her mane however, had two sets of colours which were both a shade of light red and dark pink. It looked as plain as any earth pony could get. And what surprised her was that this other filly wasn't alone.
The unicon's hooves felt warm and cold at the same time. But never did it cause her pain nor displeasure. It was... strange.
There was this other filly, a second one, who was a little nervous at the idea of making eye contact with Dinky. He fur was orange, and her mane was purple. And besides the fact that she may seem nervous, the pale purple unicorn was starting to think that pegasi as a whole were very unpredictable ponies based on her memorises of the few ones she was able to interact with, as well as her mother, and most lately, Rainbow Dash.
"Euh! Sorry to bother you but" the earth pony brought Dinky's attention to herself. "We saw you on our way, and we were both wondering if you were related to Rainbow Dash or anything."
Dinky's face automatically morphed to the most neutral face she could come up with. She didn't like the old cyan blue mare because of what her mother had to do after they had both met. And already, the first foals her age who she could speak to, were curious to know more about that rainbow mane pony, who insulter the one she loved by calling her 'Derpy '.
Too much was too much. Maybe an adult such as her mother would be able to swipe it off, and think of something else. Maybe her mother would be able to think clearly where either something strange or unwanted or awkward was happening, as this very moment. But Dinky Doo wasn't Ditzy Doo.
Her emotions were now shifting.
She wanted to send them off, tell them that she didn't like this Rainbow Dash, and would never affiliate herself with her. That her mother was the best in the whole wide world of Equus, and probably much, much more.
Dinky lowered her muzzle to bring the lunch box on the floor in order to speak. And when she spoke, everything seemed to have betrayed her previous thoughts.
"Who are you ?", she spoke in a monotone voice. "Why do you want to know about me and Rainbow Dash", she continued on. "Is she that important to you two in some way ?"
The previously shy orange pegasus seemed to have lost her nervousness in a pitch. "What ?" she exclaimed. "Rainbow Dash is the best flyer in all of Equestria! She's like... totally famous around all the pegasi here. So of course she's important to the both of us."
"By the way", cut the brown filly from before "our names are respectively Ladybug and Scootaloo." She pointed one of her hoof while speaking.
"Respectively ?", inquired Dinky with an eyebrow raised.
"It means in order. I talked to you first, then Scootaloo here felt like correcting you. So," quickly returning on topic "We're kind of fans of ponies who do great stuff around ponyville. There's Rainbow who is super fast, but there's also this guy Bulk Biceps who's super-super strong. Oh! And there is this stallion who is super intelligent when it comes to make great adventure stories. I think his name is Gyro, or maybe Gizmo ? What do you say Scootaloo ?"
"Meuh! Poindexter's good at telling stories for fillies that doesn't bore us to death" said the orange pegasus. "But Rainbow's way better at acting, rather than talking. You get what I mean, do you ?"
Ladybug nodded in approval. "I think I see your point. But wouldn't Rainbow Dash constantly talk about her exploits all the time ? And make stories that show how awesome she is, instead of letting others shine in the spotlight alongside her ?"
Scootaloo felt offended at this point "What ?! Dash doesn't make 'stories '! Everything she says are adventures that truly happened. No questions asked."
"Like that story where she fought a manticore bare hoof, in single combat and without using her wings ?"
"She's an athlete, so of course she could do that. I mean, she trains all day and all night to be the best. Oh! And before you counter me with the time she takes to rest and restore her energy, I'm not taking that as slacking off or being lazy. At all. So if you [...]"
Dinky silently watched the friendly dispute without knowing what to do next. She was as stiff as a statue. With only her eyes moving from left to right in the direction of the fillies who spoke.
She first wanted to have no business with those ponies. But then again, didn't feel anything towards them to be annoyed at anymore. Strangely, it was as if her emotions had completely vanished, ceased to be, spirited away.
Almost as if she felt,... at peace.
Her mind, in a state of placidity.
But this time, she didn't try to fight it. She hadn't internally panicked or anything such as this morning with her mother.
After all, why would she? She was finally at school. The place of learning she had always been fantasizing about.
No Ladybug, no Scootaloo, and certainly no Rainbow Dash were going to stop her from gaining the unknown knowledge she needed to become somepony.
Then she would return home, and amaze her mother with all the information she had gathered.
The two bickering fillies had stopped talking when a bell situated at the top of the red building started to ring.
Immediately after, an adult earth pony mare came out of the building by the front doors, to greet everyone.
"All right, my little ponies, time for class!" she said in her most enthusiastic tone. Probably the teacher of this place : Mrs Cheerilee, by Dinky's memories.
"Come on you. We gotta line up by two if we want to get in" said Ladybug, who brought Dinky alongside her, and the orange pegasus behind her.
"By the way," wispered Scootaloo when the foals were attempting to be quiet. "We both know you're new here cause we've seen you in town once or twice, but never at school. So what's your name ?" she questioned.
Dinky silently broke off from the line to retrieve her lunch box that she had left on the floor, then went back in line before the earth pony teacher could tell her to do so. She lowered the box once more on the ground, then turned to Scootaloo, then Ladybug before speaking as well in a whisper.
"My name is Dinky. Dinky Doo." she said in a calm, almost bored expression.
Of Broken Innocence and Shattered Realities
Chapter 0 - {{ Blur }} (Prologue)
Blur…
How would you feel if everything was taken away from you?
Not just your personal possessions, sentimentally valued trinkets ; achievements, but much, much more.
...
Throughout our life, we were all granted countless gifts, as well as denied a multitude of them. Most of these were distributed to every living being, despite our sapience or lack thereof. On other occasions, they are given to us at random, for those lucky, or unlucky enough to be present at a certain location and time.
There is the possibility that chaos has something to do with this, but for now, that's unimportant.
What really matters are those gifts .
They range from being beneficial, or disadvantageous, to being downright useless (depending on who receives what, and how it is utilised). However, most of all living beings quickly discovered that, part of what was gifted to us, could also be transmitted from the old ascendant to their new generation over the course of time.
With the transmitted legacy amongst the countless generations, it is now rumoured that a few creatures among us were able accumulate enough of those gifts , to turn into beings of powerful might.
And again, it is also rumoured that, those particular wielders would either be sought after, or tracked down by the wealthy, the corrupt, and the ignorant alike.
So what would happen if, let's assume, a creature was granted a gift far beyond that of its abilities and control? Be it for good or evil.
How do you think this being would go on about hoofling that power?
Call it a divine blessing, a malevolent curse, a common ability... or in my case, a mistake.
Just know that, as all younglings who can never choose their parents, we were never asked for what was bestowed upon us.
All that we can do, is try and live to the best of our abilities. No matter how much, or little that we have.
[...]
Somehow, my mind always seemed to find itself at peace while being here beside you. Even, despite knowing full well that you won’t respond. I suppose that’s fine. Even if the faint stench of death is carried upon the air. I’m just glad to be far away from them .
Right now, only a few emotions are flowing through my mind. The strongest one being anger and rage.
I want to do so many horrible things to them right now. I really do. Deep down, however, I know that it would be wrong. Even if I fantasise about it most of the time.
She would never accept me if she knew.
…
I know. I changed since the last time I came here.
Only a few days have passed, and look at what I've became. Ha! Such a joke, right!?
I am bad at cooking. I still have problems with numbers. I'm even useless at helping with homework. And I got in trouble while I was at work. Best of all, I couldn’t even provide what any decent being could call basic love and care for her.
If only you could be there, even if it meant just for a few minutes. Things would have been so much better.
But I have been denied that request for a very long time, and think that I’m finally starting to lose it.
Let’s not mention those traitors, and bigoted xenophobes... If it weren’t for them, I would have never lost her in the first place.
Muffin, please be safe...
My mind can only be considered a mess. Whenever I close my eyes, the memories of their actions seem to increase my anger. The stares, the failures, the whispers, and the pain.
So, so much pain...
You know that I tried, don’t you?
You made me promise, and I have kept my word up until now...
I did my best at studying and being a good filly, just as we agreed. Even if I had a lot of trouble at first, I still kept going, moving on as the weeks slowly turned into months, and then years.
I was in constant limbo with my feelings, and the others weren’t that great at easing my mind. The ponies I’ve encountered, the world surrounding me, both of those became sad and insignificant to me as time ticked by.
Ha! The more I think about it, the less I want to be around others— except you, of course...
It took me a few extra years than that of other fillies and colts for me to gain an equivalent level of consciousness and knowledge. I also found an interest in reading books, mostly adventures and sometimes romance. Most of the times, I had to read a chapter twice to understand the general concept, so don’t you get the wrong ideas, okay?
Either way, deep down, I know that you would still be proud of me. Not because I succeeded, but because I tried my hardest.
I guess, all the trouble of getting me educated finally paid off…
And…
Thank you for believing in me, wherever you are.
...
Still, even after all this, I seem to attract nothing more but trouble. Just like those bullies back then...
...
In the end, I guess I can’t hide from you how it all started. Not that I don't want to tell you, but I need you to know the truth.
…
Back then, before it all started to go downhill, the teachers were the first to give up on me. I know, it seem strange and impossible to believe. Being so young, you might believe that I was distorting the truth to fit my narrative. However, I can still remember their faces. It was that of somepony who felt sorry for your loss, but at the same time would step on you if it meant helping somepony else they were more attached to.
During class, they always had to pause in their teachings so that I could understand as well as everypony else. The idea was so that nopony would be left behind. Being the ‘special ’ filly in the classroom, I was happy to receive the special treatment. They knew that you couldn’t help me anymore—that was their best idea back then.
Eventually, over the weeks, their plan backfired. We were left behind the school’s planned schedule. As a result, we had to increase our lessons after they realised their error.
After that, I was assigned a ‘teaching friend’. It was mostly a volunteered classmate, who saw to it that I understood ideas and concepts that appeared complicated. In the end, it did not matter to me—I had someone around my age to spend some time with. That, too, turned out to be a mistake.
Those who helped me soon realised that they were falling behind as well. They had little time on their hooves between helping me, doing their chores, playing with their friends, and so on. I wouldn’t be surprised if, as a result, their grades had slightly dropped.
They started to become distant, creating excuses to not volunteer in helping me. I don’t think that I can blame them now—they were too young at the time. Their parents, they might have been the ones who demanded their foals to stop helping me. Nonetheless, it didn’t make up for the fact that I now had no one to help other than myself.
I realised what was happening the moment they started avoiding me. They suddenly found in interest in clouds or rocks, whenever I looked their way. Using fewer words to quickly end a conversation when I addressed them. I thought I did something wrong to make them all act so coldly against me. I never knew that, unanimously and in silent agreement, my classmates had vowed to consider me as a living burden, a pariah.
I truly felt sad, and had little to cheer me up. Your words were one of those few things.
You made me promise to always try, even if things became complicated, and so, I tried. Sure, they all pretended to care—after all, who would have wanted to be labelled a mean filly or colt? I understood the emptiness in their words, their apathy.
And because I kept trying, despite knowing that I was fighting a losing battle, others thought that I was still oblivious to their actions, that I would never understand that I was being picked on. Therefore, they decided to be more direct in their approach.
They started to make fun of my appearance, and to be fair, I did not mind at first, thinking that they had finally wanted to talk to me, in their own way, and not about me. I still had to struggle learning on my own as well, so I believe I was desperate for a friend at that time.
The moment they used my disability as a ‘daily funny topic ’, well, you already know what happened after that.
…
Now, if something ever happened, I will always left alone to figure out what that something was truly about.
My thoughts blurred, and whenever I closed my eyes, I was greeted with your unreadable expression, as well as Dinky’s...
I keep thinking that I failed her, as a pony, as her friend. That I wasn’t strong enough to protect her, I, her mother. That I didn’t see the clear signs of her changing right in front of me, under our own roof.
I still want to understand what mistakes I have made, what drove her to despise me so much so that I could fix this. Why do I always realise things when it’s already too late and beyond salvation?
I hate myself. I. Hate. Myself. My dull fur. My crossed eyes. The impression I gave others. 'Stupid Derpy Doo '. 'Clueless Derpy Doo '.
Why? Of all ponies, why her? Why us? I just… I just don’t know what went wrong!
I… I hate myself, and so should you.
I failed to show her the love that you brought to me, the love that we shared…
The only thing of value that you left for me.
The… The only reminder that… you… would always watch over us.
Please, show me a sign. Anything you want, I don’t care. Just... let me know you’re still here.
...
Please, Daddy?
