Surprise Days

~ Surprise Days ~

A thing by someone you wouldn't care to know

NoGiantRobots1983

( nogiantrobots1983@gmail.com )

With a little help from

The devil hersel--err, I mean, Surprise!

and with a copyright attribution to a little group called

Hasbro

(they made Yahtzee, doncha know!)

~ Let's begin! ~

Scene 1

An Underground Surprise

The crowd gathered around the town hall stage. Murmurs spread among the ponies like fire among dead leaves.  Though this noon was bright and beautiful, there was a palpable atmosphere of fear among Ponyville's citizens this day.

The mayor nervously stepped up to the podium, and the eyes of the audience turned towards her.  It was clear that the mayor was just as nervous as everypony else, for she even hesitated a moment before knocking on the podium and beginning her speech, which she delivered slowly, almost as if she was making it up as she went:

"Fillies and Gentlecolts, may I have your attention!  As you all know, last night we suffered an... incursion.  The perpetrators were positively identified as the Diamond Dogs who live in the tunnels below the rock quarry.  Fortunately, one of their own had risked his freedom to warn us of the attack, so we were able to mount a pre-emptive defense and drive them off.  I am expecting a pair of guests who have prior experience with the Diamond Dogs to come and discuss with us what, if any, further action should be taken.  They... seem to be running late..."

"Sorry, sorry!"  Twilight Sparkle apologized, rushing through the crowd and to the stage.  Close behind her was Rarity.  "Sorry I'm late, mayor."

"Actually, you're right on time, Miss Sparkle!"  the Mayor then addressed the townsfolk, "With me is Twilight Sparkle and her friend Rarity, whom I'm sure we all know.  These unicorns have had dealings with the Diamond Dogs in the past.  In fact, Rarity, isn't it true that the Diamond Dogs are sort of business partners of yours?"

Rarity came to the podium, "It's true, your honor, that I do solicit their help in acquiring diamonds and precious gemstones for my outfits.  I use my powers to discover them, they dig, and in exchange they get to keep a portion of the findings."

The mayor tried to be as non-accusatory as possible, but the nature of her next question didn't help that much:  "Then please, explain to us why the Diamond Dogs mounted their assault last night."

"Very well, but keep in mind all I know comes from my contact.  This is the very same contact who warned us of the coming assault in the first place, and though I'm duty-bound not to name him, I will say that I trust his information completely.

"Now then, the facts as they've been related to me are, put simply, that the Diamond Dog society is under new management.  In former times, the Diamond Dogs had existed as 'tribes', each claiming ownership of their own warren.  This changed just recently, when one called Dowazer proposed uniting the tribes into a Kingdom, with himself as King.  I'm not quite sure how or why, but he got his wish:  Dowazer is now King Dowazer, and he believes that he needs a Queen.

"Which brings us to last night.  Dowazer loves ponies, and he is determined that a Pony will be his Queen."

Rainbow Dash was in the crowd.  When Rarity finished speaking, Dash flew up and said "So why doesn't that guy just come up and start dating, like everything else?  Why kidnap a bride?"

"Unfortunately, kidnapping a bride is something of a Diamond Dog tradition.  Their women actually think being kidnapped is romantic.  I know that sounds horrible, but if it works for them, who are we to judge?"

"That doesn't give them the right to kidnap us!"  Dash countered.

"On that note I agree, and therefore I think we should mount a diplomatic envoy in order to explain this to King Dowazer."

The Mayor clapped the floor happily, and said "Bravo, Rarity!  Twilight Sparkle, do you concur?"

"I'm afraid I do not."  Twilight announced as she stepped up to the podium.  "My apologies to my friend Rarity, but I think the best course of action would be to stay here and simply defend ourselves from future attacks."

"And why is that?"  the Mayor asked, curious as to why the normally peaceful Twilight Sparkle would propose such a military solution.

"It's as Rarity said, the Diamond Dogs are primitives.  I doubt they would ever understand our way of thinking.  Therefore--"

"Excuse me!"

The ponies in the audience were in awe, the ponies on stage were in shock.  Leaning over the podium was a seemingly furless-creature in dark clothing and with a black mane that covered his eyes (they assumed it was a he from the voice).  It was hard to tell what with the whole covered-eyes thing going on, but he seemed to be looking at Twilight and Rarity and somehow they sensed an urgent intent.

The creature then said "Did you say Diamond Dogs?  Big, burly brutes with diamond collars?"

"Those are them, yes."

"Where do they live?"

Rainbow Dash was on stage now, and she tapped the creature and said "Just who--or what--are you?"

The creature glanced at her as if her interruption had broken his thoughts, and he shook his head once and said "Oh, beg yer pardon.  I'm Raydence, a human being.  My owner was kidnapped by these Diamond Dog thingamabobs and I aim to get her back."

"All by yourself?"  Rainbow Dash cocked an eyebrow.  "You don't look like you'd last ten seconds against them!"

"That's right!"  Fluttershy was on stage now too.  She stood on her hind legs and held the creature at belly-level with her forehooves, looking at him imploringly.  "You'd have no chance against them!  You look like such a delicate, little creature!"

Raydence glanced her way for a second, then slowly turned his head to Rainbow Dash and said "Did she just call me 'little'?"

Rarity suddenly said "I think the imperative question is:  who is this 'owner' the creature speaks of?"

All eyes turned towards the Raydence creature, and he quickly said "Oh, she's a pegasus named Surprise.  Dusty white, green mane and tail, real curly.  Balloon mark on her hind."

"And when was she abducted?"  Rarity pressed.

"Just about five minutes ago.  We were going through the woods, when she stopped and said 'climb that tree and get some bananas'.  And just as I picked a few, I heard her call out and saw these big dog-things run away with her."

Then Rarity said to Twilight Sparkle "I guess that settles it.  We have to see the Diamond Dogs, whether we like it or not."

"I agree," Twilight said.  "All right.  You're here, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are accounted for.  Has anyone seen Applejack and Pinkie Pie?"

And like magic, the two afformentioned climbed on stage and Applejack called "We're here, sugarcube!"

Pinkie bounced up to the human, and her bounce was so high it brought their faces to the same level.  "Hi!"  she said on her first bounce, "Never seen anything like you before!"  she said on the second, "Wanna play as soon as we get back?"  third bounce, "Are you hungry?"

The whole time, Raydence watched her with what almost could be a mild shock.

Twilight Sparkle said to the mayor "We're setting out immediately!"

"Umm," that was Fluttershy, "Actually, I'd rather not come."

Rainbow Dash gave a frustrated sigh.  "Seriously, Fluttershy?"

"Well, it's just, I mean, I didn't really help much the last time we went down there.  I'll just... somepony needs to take care of this thing, whatever it is!"

The human seemed a little annoyed, "But, I'm going with them!"

"No you're not!"  Fluttershy said matter-of-factly.

"No offense, but I don't think you can stop me."

No sooner had the human said this than Fluttershy pushed him down and gave him the Stare!  The human tried to look away, his will struggling to maintain control.  But within moments, he was completely under her power.

Twilight Sparkle said "Okay, you take care of that.  Everpony else,"  and she could not resist dramatically rearing up, "Let's go!"

Long ago, the ponies had first entered the Diamond Dogs' kingdom through a hole in Rarity's favorite jewel quarry.  Since then, Rarity had discovered a better entrance, in a cliff face near the same general area.  And now, once again, the ponies were to venture underground for another confrontation!

Rarity waved her mane, "I shall go first, and act as delegate!  I'm familiar to them, after all."  This offer was generally agreed to, and Rarity led the way.  The magic of her horn lit the darkest parts of their journey, for there were some parts of the cave system rarely ventured to and thus, left unlighted.  In fact, the primary way they could tell they had gotten close to the Dogs' kingdom was that they no longer needed Rarity's magic.

On the outskirts of the Kingdom, they ran into a pair of guards.  Rarity spoke:  "Greetings, fair sirs!  I am Lady Rarity, and I would like an audience with King Dowazer."

The guard on the left answered her with a firm salute, and said "My apologies, but the King has ordered no interference this day."

"And why not?"

"Because he thinks he's found a bride!  And today is his--"

"Oh no!"  Pinkie gasped.  "You mean that horrible King has already forced poor Surprise to marry him?"

And that was when Applejack raised up!  Waving her front hooves in the air, she declared "That's despicable!  Nopony is bein' forced into marriage long as Ah have anything to say about it!"  With that heroic declaration, Applejack brought her hooves back to the ground, and no sooner had they hit dirt than she was racing off, straight past the guards!  In her wake, ten other soldiers of the Dog Kingdom tried to stop her, and all ten fell like pins in a bowling alley!

Rarity called out "Applejack, wait!" but it was no use, so instead Rarity gave chase, giving hasty apologies to every dropped Diamond Dog she ran past.  The other girls simply tried to keep up, but as far as they were concerned the situation had gone downhill.

Applejack screeched to a halt at an intersection, finally allowing the other ponies to catch up to her.  She looked at Rarity and said "So, which way now?"

"Maybe they know," Rarity ventured a guess, indicating some approaching dog soldiers.

"Uhh, they don't look to be in a talkin' mood."

"Gee, I wonder why," Rarity mumbled under her breath.

The dogs aimed their spears at the ponies, and the leader said "You ponies attack us, knock us down!  You hurt us!  What have you got to say for yourselves!"

"My sincerest apologies, good sirs!  It's just that my friend here wanted so badly to become King Dowazer's bride that when you said he was already married, she lost her cool."

And then the dogs all lowered their spears.  "You mean, pony with hat wants marry King?"

Applejack whispered "Rarity, what in tarnation--"

But Rarity kept on, "Oh yes, she's admired him from afar for quite some time!  You understand a young mare's heart, don't you?"

As a matter of fact, they were scratching their heads.  But the dogs generally understood that somepony actually wanted to marry their king and said "You be in luck.  King not married yet."

Applejack objected, "But you guys told me he found a bride!"

"He thinks he found bride.  That's why he on a Trial Marriage!"

Rarity raised an eyebrow, "A Trial Marriage?"

"Yeah.  They live as couple for awhile, see how work out!  If works, they get married for real!"

Twilight beamed a happy smile, "Then we're not too late!"

The dogs just shrugged, and the lead one said "If want to speak to King, go that way.  King down there."

"Why thank you, kind sirs!"  Rarity said, and led the delegation down the road pointed.  To keep up appearances, she said to Applejack "this is your lucky day, you'll be the bride of royalty yet!"

"Ah can hardly wait," Applejack muttered sarcastically.

The first sign that they had reached an area of royalty was the decor:  this wide open cave was arranged very artistically, with not a single detail going to waste and being overlooked.  Every rock was deliberately placed, every enclave in the wall carefully dug to perfection.  Even the stalactites were arranged according to some regal pattern!

On the far side of this cave was a very strange sight:  up against the flattest wall in the cavern were Diamond Dogs, naked and being directed to stack atop each other.  Not all were standing:  some were laying on their sides, some were turned upside-down.  Some were face-forward, some were faced toward the wall.  A voice directed one dog to put its arm between the two below him, as if the director did not want one centimeter of the cave wall to be visible thru this ensemble.

And who was directing this strange, living jigsaw puzzle?  Why, it was a pegasus pony!  The mare had a dusty white coat of fur and her mane and tail were neon green, and both curled in a way that struck the five as oddly familiar.

As the five got closer, they heard the pegasus say "No, no, that doesn't look right.  You, switch places with him!  There, that's better."

King Dowazer was right nearby, watering some moss.  He looked up to ask "Everything all right, my dear?"

"Everything's fine, sweetie!"

Applejack had to ask "What exactly are ya'll doin'?"

The white pegasus did not break concentration as she answered "I'm creating a work of art.  Don't you see it?"

"Ah see a bunch of Diamond Dogs climbing all over each other like a bunch of fools."

"Ah, one of those types.  Can't see past the surface.  If you look closely, you'll see I'm making a landscape painting!  The way the hues of their fur collide and contrast, if arranged the right way, form a vista of stunning mountains!"

Rarity scratched her chin, then gasped "Oh my gosh... I see it!"

Twilight Sparkle had to roll her eyes.  "This is getting ridiculous.  Let me guess, you're Surprise, right?"

"mmhmm."  Surprise didn't seem to care at first, then she realized what had been said and turned to Twilight Sparkle "Wait a minute, how do you know my name?"

Twilight opened her mouth, but her words were cut short by a commotion from the corridor!  As the noises got louder, they could clearly make out Fluttershy's voice, saying things like "Oh, please stop!  Oh, I'm so sorry.  Please, let's go back!"

When they finally saw Fluttershy, she was desperately clutching Raydence around the chest.  The poor pegasus tried her best to budge the human and drag him back to Ponyville, but she just couldn't do it.  When she saw her friends, Fluttershy said "Oh, I'm so sorry, but he insisted on coming after you!  I tried, but I just couldn't stop him!"

To which Surprise said "Of course you couldn't.  I don't raise my humans to be wimps!"

Raydence nearly stumbled, but then righted himself.  He glanced over the situation and then at Surprise.  "Yep, just as I thought, I arrived just in the nick of time.  Come on, Surprise, we're getting out of here."

Then King Dowazer asked "My dear, are these friends of yours?"

"Of course, dearest!  This is Raydence, my pet human!  He's very sweet-tempered and obedient, and as you can see he'll follow his owner to the ends of the world!"

"Oh ho ho, we're still only a trial marriage and already we have ourselves a pet!  Raydence, was it?  Would you fetch my slippers for me?"

Raydence did not.  He merely looked at King Dowazer for a second before huffily turning around and saying "That's it, I'm out of here."

That's when Rainbow Dash asked "Wait, didn't you come here to rescue Surprise?"

To which Raydence said "I wasn't worried about Surprise, I was worried about the Diamond Dogs!"

Surprise beat her front hoof into the ground, and said "Raydence, come back here!"

"Why, so you can add me to that living jigsaw puzzle too?  You've got enough pets!  Anyway, if that hubby of yours is jus' lettin' ya do this, then he's as loony as you are!  Dealin' with one crack-brain slavedriver is hard enough, no way am I gonna try dealin' with two!"

"RAYDENCE!"

At that moment the living jigsaw puzzle fell apart.  The Diamond Dogs scrambled out of the big pile on the floor and got on their knees around King Dowazer.  They begged, they pleaded!  One said "get rid of that pony!  She's a terror!"  Another said "My sister loved you long time, please marry her instead!"  Yet another said "Please no punish us no more!  We sorry!  Not know what did, but sorry anyway!"

Surprise looked at the dogs, then at Raydence, and said to her beloved "I'm sorry, baby, but I guess its not going to work out."

King Dowazer sniffed and choked back a tear,  "I... I noticed.  I'm sorry it has to end this way!"

And so King Dowazer and Surprise shared one last hug, and she said "Don't forget me!" and Dowazer said "I'll always remember you!"  And that was how they tearfully parted.  Surprise came to Raydence side and, her face downcast, said "Come on, let's go."

The entire journey back, Twilight Sparkle and her friends couldn't help but feel confused inside.

"Gosh," Applejack said, "If I'da known she wanted to be married, I woulda minded mah own business!"

"Poor King Dowazer was so sad too!"  Pinkie Pie said.

Oddly enough, Rarity was the one pony who showed absolutely no signs of regret.  But she refused to say anything.

Rainbow Dash glanced at Raydence, and got upset.  It was as she whispered to her friends: "Look at that human!  So smug.  I bet he doesn't feel the least bit bad about ruining everything!"

And in fact, he didn't.  Raydence proved it when they got out of the cave and the first thing he said was "Let's hit up the public baths.  These dog germs are killing me!"

Rainbow Dash couldn't hold it in.  She flew right into Raydence's face and said "Just what the heck gives you the right to be so selfish, huh?  Look at you, you just ruined your owner's one chance at true love and all you can think about is a bath!  Didn't you just once stop to ask how she might feel?"

Raydence's deadpan expression grew to a smirk, then expanded into a smile.  Then suddenly, Raydence and Surprise both burst into laughter!

Rainbow Dash felt deflated, and confused.  "Wait, what... what's so funny?  Come on!"

Surprise calmed down.  What really caught Dash off-guard was that when the dusty white pegasus next spoke, her voice had changed--previously it had been a filly-like high-pitched squeal, similar to a schoolchild or to Pinkie Pie, but now Surprise had the voice of an older mare, one that bespoke motherly wisdom, sounding somewhat like a mix between Cheerilee and Celestia.  Anyway, Surprise said "My apologies for misleading you.  That was all an act, put on for the king's benefit.  I didn't mean to fool any ponies."

Rainbow Dash scratched her ear, then asked "So... you didn't really want to marry the King of the Diamond Dogs?"

Suddenly Surprise's voice changed again, back into filly-mode.  "Of course not!  Those Diamond Dogs are disgusting freaks of nature!  Anyway, Raydence is right:  we really need a bath!"

Happily, Rarity offered "I know just the place!" and eagerly led the new pony and her pet human back to Ponyville.  Fluttershy stayed ahead to learn more about the human, but Twilight, Dash, Pinkie and Applejack trailed behind, trying to make sense of their new friends.

Pinkie Pie mumbled "There is something wrong with that pony!"

"Oh, Pinkie!"  was Twilight's response, "we're all a little bit weird.  Let's give her a chance!  Who knows, she may just... surprise us."

As bad as that pun was, the four who trailed behind got a good chuckle out of it.  Then Dash said "You know, as lame as this sounds, I kinda wonder what's going on with the Diamond Dogs right now."

And what was going on with the Diamond Dogs?  Well, here's the answer:

Page, being the royal page, asked King Dowazer "Hey, you want we should raid Ponyville again tonight?"

A clank came from Dowazer's chamber, followed by a "No, there's no need.  I've given up on ponies."  Then there was another clank.  "From now on, I'm staying true to my first love."  Clank.  Page couldn't hold back his curiosity, so he just had to see what King Dowzer's "first love" was:

It was Granite Sculpturing.  And Dowazer was nowhere near good at it.  Even so, Page couldn't help but be a little relieved.  At least a statue wouldn't order servants to do strange things.

Page silently backed away, not bothering to ask anymore questions or, indeed, speak to King Dowzer ever again.  The first Diamond Dog he ran into was an old friend of his, whom he felt comfortable sharing his thoughts with.  "Man!"  Page said to his friend, "Why we want this crazy kook to be our King?"

"Me not know," Page's friend said, "Personally, liked better when we were all tribes.  Made more sense that way."

"Know what?  I think suggest to my leader we break away from Kingdom, go back to being tribe."

"Know what?  Me too."

Very soon, one tribe after another was seceding from the Diamond Dog Kingdom, and King Dowazer went back to his old job, the one he was most qualified for:  he was a glassblower.

And that's how the Dog Kingdom was un-made!

~ See you next Scene! ~