Surprise Days

BUT FIRST!

Some words from the author

This story, "the Griffon Meat Spectacular" was originally going to be Scene 3 of Surprise Days.

The reason it wasn't was because, well... I felt it came too soon.  I'm not really sure how to explain it without spoilers, so if you want details, skip to the Afterward.  For everyone else, all I can say is this:

I STRONGLY SUGGEST that you read "An Underground Surprise," "A Witch Among Us," and "Blueblood Hunts the Wumpus" BEFORE reading this story.

Got it?

Good.

~ Surprise Days ~

By NoGiantRobots1983

Bonus Scene

The Griffon Meat Spectacular!

~ Let's Begin! ~

The wind washing over you, the clouds rushing by, and the ground thousands of feet below, that's the griffon way!

Gilda couldn't help performing a double-inside-out-loop.  She knew that little bro Glider was watching, and he hung on every little thing his sis did.  Who wouldn't want to show off?  She ended her trick by gently gliding to a stop atop a cloud.  Glider watched from there, his little baseball cap turned backwards the way kids think are so hip, and he was clapping his griffon hands like a happy little... well, griffon.  "That was great, Sis!  You're awesome!"

"Thank you, thank you!"  Gilda bowed like she had just won an award.  And as she bowed, she happened to look through a hole in the clouds.  Something caught her attention.

Glider wondered "What's the matter, sis?"

"Just a minute!"  Gilda flitted through the hole and to the cloud below, which had a cloud-house on it.  "I've been here before!  Yeah!  This is Rainbow Dash's place!"

"Rainbow Dash?  That pony you broke it off with?"

"Eh..." Gilda thought for a minute.  "I didn't really 'break it off', just I didn't want to see her for awhile.  You know how it is."

"I don't understand."

"It's... complicated."  Gilda glanced through the open door, and then said "Ya know what, I'm gonna go talk to her, catch up on old times.  You can tag along if you want, but don't cramp my style, kid!"

"Awwright!"  Glider bounced, and then took off ahead of his sister.  Kids were always so enthusiastic.  Gilda suppressed a smile as she made flight.

The question was, if Dash wasn't at home, then where was she?  Rainbow Dash was one of those ponies who just went where she wanted.  If she wanted to sleep on a cloud, or a tree branch, or on somepony's roof, who could stop her?  Her home was just a place she stored stuff, and Rainbow Dash was almost the polar opposite of a hoarder.  That's why she left her door open all the time--she didn't have anything any creature would want.

So where was that Rainbow Dash?

Wait a minute!  Was that...?

Gilda circled around and flew down for a closer look.  Yes, that was her!  She was in the back yard of some cottage, standing with a pair of pegasi.  Gilda thought the yellow one looked familiar, but couldn't quite place where she had seen her. The white one with the green mane was a new face altogether.  Oh well, who cares.

Gilda came to a full stop almost right next to Dash.  That yellow pegasus went "EEP!" and hid under the chicken coop, but that white pegasus fixed her eyes on the griffon and kept them there.  Having one more admirer didn't phase Gilda one bit.

"Yo, Dash!  'Sup?"  Gilda spoke as cockily as she could, even though could see in Dash's reaction that this was not gonna be an easy reunion.

Dash answered with a guarded "What do you want, Gilda?"

Come what may, Gilda determined to keep her cool.  Couldn't look bad in front of little bro!  "Oh, I was just in the neighborhood and wanted to see how my old buddy was doin'!"

"Really?  Here I thought I was 'Queen Lame-o'!"

"Oh, that?  That was just talk, you know.  I wasn't feeling well and said a lot of things I... ummm..." Ugh, no.  Bad line of talk.  That sounded disgustingly like an apology.  Gilda was too cool for that sappy stuff! "I was just about to show my kid bro some awesome moves.  Then it hit me: wanna have a contest?"

Dash quickly glanced at the kid griffon, and she thought about it for a moment.  Then, just as Dash was about to give an answer...

"OUCH!"

Something had bit Gilda's wing!  From the feel of it, that something had tough jaws!  Gilda looked and couldn't believe her eyes:  the biter was that green-haired white pegasus!  "What the...?"

Even Dash was taken aback.  "Surprise, what do you think you're doing?"

That white pegasus let go of the wing and licked her lips.  Then she spoke, seemingly to herself:  "Blend of vodka and whiskey, a sprinkle of parsley sauce, butter the skin, roast on medium for about forty five minutes..."  A sudden hop and the white pegasus pointed a hoof at Gilda and said "You'd make a fine turkey dinner!"

Gilda cocked an eyebrow.  "Uh-huh."

Dash said "Just pretend she isn't here."

That was easier said than done, because the very next thing that pegasus did was went to talk to that yellow pony.  That dumb horse didn't even try to keep quiet, and Gilda easily heard her ask that yellow one about an axe.

Dash grabbed Gilda's head and faced it toward herself.  "Ignore her.  Surprise goes off like this sometimes."

"She said something about an axe."

"She's just playing."

Then Surprise shouted "FOUND ONE!"  Both Dash and Gilda looked in time to see Surprise reach over her shoulder and into that magical inventory space ponies seem to always have just on the side that you can't see, and pull out an axe!

Even Dash looked worried now.  "Uhh, Surprise..."

Then the axe came down, and just barely missed clipping Gilda's talons!  Gilda's mind drew a blank:  She had never been in real danger before.  She certainly never thought "real danger" would take the form of a pony with an axe!  The whole thing was just so surreal that she couldn't think straight.  All she could do was back away as the pegasus stepped forward with a menacing gait.

Then Rainbow Dash tackled Surprise to the ground, and shouted "Hurry, I can't hold her for long!"

Gilda could tell:  Dash was putting all her weight, all her strength, into keeping Surprise down, and yet that green-haired pegasus was still putting up one heck of a fight!  Gilda had no doubt that she'd break free any minute.  So she gave Dash a hasty thumbs-up and then yelled "Glider, take off!" as she herself launched into the sky.  To her relief, Glider had proved unexpectedly sharp and had taken to the air the minute he saw trouble, and the two griffons took off as far and as fast as they could.  They kept going until their wings got tired, and only then did Gilda allow herself to look back.  To her great relief, that psycho-pegasus had been left far behind.

She could hear Glider panting like a little dog, but finally he managed to ask "Do ponies really eat us?"

"I... don't know."

Gilda needed to lay down.  She spread out on the cloud, and rested her head against the soft fluffiness.  The whole scene kept replaying in her mind:  the pegasus with the axe, her utter astonishment in the face of true danger, Rainbow Dash coming to her rescue...

Rainbow Dash coming to my rescue...

"So I guess you and that Rainbow pony are still friends, huh?"  Glider asked.

Gilda softly smiled.  "Yeah, we're still friends."

Perhaps that was why Gilda decided to visit Dash again the next day.  Her first order of business was to leave Glider in the capable claws of family, then she flew out over that cottage.  Dash wasn't there today, so Gilda flew over Ponyville.  Hmm, no Dash there either.  Gilda perched on top of a chimney and took a look around.  A wild hunch hit her that maybe she'd find Dash at that farm just outside of town.  She did recall Dash hanging out with some farmer pony.

Gilda took flight and headed for it.  Paydirt!  There was Dash, but uh-oh, there was also that crazy pegasus!  Gilda had already forgotten her name, but not her face.  But the peg looked like she was minding her own business and was nowhere near Dash.  Maybe this will go off without a hitch.

Gilda circled around to a stop again.  "Yo, Dash!"

"Hey Gilda," Dash's voice still had that "I don't really wanna talk to you" ring about it, but Gilda wasn't about to let that stop her.

"So how about it, wanna have a flying contest?"

"I dunno.  I've got... things I've got to do.  Right Applejack?"

That farm pony with the hat said "Uhh, yeah.  Dash was gonna help me harvest the celery stalks."

"Okay..." Gilda could sense the dodge, but she didn't want to seem too pushy.  "How about tomorrow then?  My bro is really looking forward to it!"

"I think I'm--Gilda, watch out!"

The warning came just in time!  If she had been a second slower, Gilda would be missing a wing right now!  She didn't need to be told who the attacker was:  that crazy pony had seen her.

"All right, you!"  Gilda was about ready to attack, but that pony Applejack rushed ahead of her and shouted "Don't worry, ah got it!"

Applejack leaped, and she and the crazy axe-carrying pegasus were wrapped in a dust cloud for a total of three seconds.  When the dust cleared, the pegasus was on her back, hog-tied, with Applejack standing triumphant over her!  "That there is the super-duper-triple-hangpony's-knot!  Nopony in the history of Equestria has ever escaped from it!  Don't you worry, Gilda!  She ain't gettin' out unless Ah get her out!"

Dash beamed with confidence, "Oh, and you're gonna love this:  Even if she does break loose, Surprise can't fly!  Seems her wings stopped working when she was about my age."

Gilda puffed out her chestfeathers and declared, "I'm not scared of her!  If that pony hadn't gotten to her first, I would've ripped her to pieces!"

"IS THAT SO?"

Gilda jumped!  Somehow, Surprise was still able to bounce on her back.  Upside down, she had bounced in the air and shouted that in Gilda's ear!  The shock caused Gilda to involuntarily spread her wings.

Then Surprise did something unusual:  she spat out two pink balls, one after the other, and both hit the undersides of Gilda's wings.  Reflexively she closed them.  Then Gilda pulled them open, only for the pink gunk to hold them shut!

"Super-sticky bubble-gum!  Now neither of us can fly!"

Gilda was just about tired of this.  "Yeah, whatever.  You can't get out of that triple-hang-whatever knot anyway."  There was a confidence, almost arrogance in the Griffon's voice, but it slowly faltered as she saw that strange smile that spread across Surprise's face.

Applejack saw it too, and said "I say she's bluffing--"

Then somehow Surprise bounced five feet into the air and did a triple-spin, and as she spun the rope holding her legs simply flung off!  Surprise landed on all fours.  And, with no explanation whatsoever, her mouth once more had that axe!

Applejack's jaw was dropping, and Gilda backed away.  Rainbow Dash shook her head and said "I'm not it!" before tackling Surprise to the ground.  At first, Dash was cocky:  "Just like yesterday!"  but then Surprise came to her feet and knocked the blue pegasus off like she was a playtoy!

Dash didn't take this lying down.  She tackled Surprise again and called out "Applejack, help me!" and within microseconds the farm-pony was helping her.  Even then, the two of them looked like they weren't having it easy.  Between grunts, Applejack said "Ah can't believe its takin' the both of us to handle a pegasus what can't even fly!"

Gilda was in disbelief:  "Is this some kind of a joke?  There's no way that pony can be so strong!"

But apparently there was a way, for no sooner had Gilda said that than Surprise stood proud, knocking off both of Ponyville's resident athletes!  As she put her axe in her hooves, Surprise approached menacingly toward Gilda and said "These ponies have it too easy.  I've had a difficult life, and its made me strong!"

Then the axe swung, but Gilda was already running.  The griffon managed to get a head start, because Surprise had trouble pulling the axe out of the wood she had hit by accident.  Even so, Gilda could feel her weaknesses:  she had always depended on her wings for travel, and while those were strong, her legs were comparatively weak, and clumsy.  Once or twice Gilda nearly tripped.  The second time, she looked back to see if that crazy horse was following her.  She was!

"Feet, don't fail me now!"

Ahead of her, Gilda saw a path.  She took off down it, and kept going, not even daring to look back.  And the further she went, the more she forced herself to ignore the pain of exerting her less-used limbs.

The pain was too much.  Gilda realized with horror that she couldn't keep this up!  What to do, what to do?  Without thinking about it, Gilda looked back.

Wait, where had Surprise gone?

Apparently, the pegasus had lost her trail somehow, because Gilda heard her say "All right, where did you go?  Here, turkey turkey turkey..."  Normally Gilda would've brutalized anypony who dared call her a "turkey," but she wasn't about to risk a confrontation now.

Gilda's sharp eagle-eyes quickly spied a solution:  a hollow log a ways off the path.  It would be a tight fit, but it was better than staying out in the open.  Gilda made for it, fit her way in (working backwards, so she could see out) and finally allowed herself as much rest as being stalked by a madpony would allow.

When Gilda saw Surprise again, her first thought was to go back even further into the log.  But any sort of movement could alert Surprise to her presence, so she decided to risk it and stay as still as griffonly possible.

The gamble payed off:  Surprise looked around, even looked straight at the log, and didn't see a thing.  So she head off further down the road.  Even seeing Surprise become a distant figure, Gilda didn't want to risk moving until the pegasus was completely gone.

"Gilda?"

That sounded like Rainbow Dash!  She was speaking low, which meant she must be close.  Gilda waited until she heard it again to be sure, then answered "Dash?"

Dash landed right in front of the log and asked "Where are you?"

"Right behind you."

Dash turned around and happened to look right into the log.  "Oh, good.  I was afraid Surprise had gotten you!"

"Nah!"  Gilda worked her way out of the log.  "I'm too clever for her!"

"I see ya found her," that was Applejack, coming up from the rear.  "Now let's get this gunk off her wings so she can fly away!"

Dash was already holding one of Gilda's wings open for that very reason.  Gilda tried to reach under and pick at the "super sticky bubble-gum" with her beak, but just before she touched it she saw Dash swing a hoof at it, and then a bit of it stuck to Dash's hoof.  "Ugh!" went the Dash, as she pulled back farther and farther, until finally the gunk snapped off her hoof and sent her flying into a tree!  For five seconds, all Dash could see or hear were cuckoo birds flying around her head.

Applejack put a hoof to her chin and considered the problem.  Finally she said "Ah have an idea!  I once heard that if ya leave a coin in a cup of soda for a while, it'll wash the gunk off.  Maybe it'll work for this stuff too?"

Gilda had to make sure she understood:  "So I need to take a soda bath?"

"It's worth a try, anyway."

And Dash said "I know just the place!"

The ponies and Gilda tried their best to keep a low profile as they wandered into Ponyville.  Somewhere along the way they had found a cloak of sorts, and wrapped Gilda in it.  It didn't cover her talons, but they just had to hope nopony noticed or if they did, that they didn't say anything.

The arrangement at Sugarcube Corner was kind of strange:  there was the front door, and then they had recently built a walkway leading up to a special entrance for Pinkie Pie's room.  This was specifically so her friends could visit and party without disturbing Mr. and Mrs. Cake.  For Dash and Applejack, it proved to be convenience itself.

When Pinkie Pie answered the knock, she cried out "Oh hey Rainbow Dash!  What's up?  Whose your mystery friend?"

Pinkie Pie was talking at normal volume, but at that moment "normal" for Pinkie Pie just seemed too loud, so Dash told her to quiet down.  And then pulled back Gilda's hood.

"GAAAAAAAAAAASP!  Gilda!"

Dash couldn't shut Pinkie's mouth fast enough.  "Quiet!  We need to give Gilda a soda bath.  Surprise put some stuff on her wings that's keeping her from flying.  And keep it down!"

Dash uncovered Pinkie's mouth, and the pink pony was looking suspiciously at the griffon.  "But I thought I was miss Queen Lame-O.  Why should I help her?"

Applejack said "Because n' Surprise is tryin' to kill her, that's why!"

All at once Pinkie's demeanor changed, and she said "Why didn't you say so?  Come in come in come in!"  and once they were inside, Pinkie Pie said "I'll start filling up the bath tub!"

But Gilda said "Wait a minute.  How do I know you're not sellin' me out?"

"Selling you out?"  Pinkie Pie cocked an eyebrow.

Dash realized Pinkie had never heard the term before and explained "It means 'turning traitor'."

Applejack then told Gilda "Pinkie don't really like Surprise."

"That's right!"  Pinkie chimed in.  "There's something wrong with that pony!  I don't know what it is, but I can feel it!  Why, I hate her so much I didn't even throw a party for her!"

Gilda couldn't help being underwhelmed.

But she didn't have time to think about it much, because almost immediately a weird call came from outside.  It was muffled, but Pinkie opened a window to hear better.  And hear better they did:

"Has anyone seen Gilda?"

Gilda gasped, "That's Glider!" and without waiting for anypony's response, she jumped out the window and went to meet her bro, who was standing right smack-dab in the middle of town, crying out for her!

"Glider!"  Gilda cried out, "Hide!"

Then Gilda saw to her horror that it was too late:  Right behind Glider was Surprise, coming up full speed, still holding that axe!

Oh no, no!

No way!  Heck with the pain in her legs!  Gilda took off as fast as she could, leaped right over Glider and right as she landed, attacked Surprise with a mighty swipe of her talons!  And to show for it, the pegasus had five great scars across her face!

Surprise looked mad now, but Gilda didn't care anymore:

"Chasing me is one thing, but when you go after my bro, you're asking for it!"  Then Gilda swiped the axe right from Surprise's mouth, broke it over her knee and threw it off to the side.  Then she leaped!

The result was the worst street fight Ponyville had ever seen!  Griffon was attacking with all she had, Pegasus was hoofing with the best of them!  One was on top, and then the other!  A push, a shove, a stab, a kick!

Dash, Applejack and Pinkie Pie ran to the fore.  Glider wanted to jump into the fray, but Applejack held him back.  The dust picked up, the combatants became obscured in sillouhette...

And when the dust settled, Gilda had Surprise in a choke hold, and it was clear she meant murder.

Dash stepped forward, and said "Gilda, wait!"

"Don't try to stop me, Dash!"

Then Applejack said "Gilda, if ya do that, you'll never be welcome in pony society ever again!"

"And if I don't, she'll attack again!  And whose gonna protect Glider once I'm gone?  No way, it ends here!"

And Gilda readied the finishing blow...

Nopony knew how it happened, but suddenly Gilda was sent flying back.  Surprise followed, kicked her again before she even hit the ground, knocked her into a wall and then just kept juggling her, until Gilda's strength was completely gone.  Only then did Surprise let the griffon fall to the ground, where she was so weak she was even unable to come to her feet.

As Surprise looked over her, Glider broke free of Applejack's grip and came to his sister's side.  Trying his darndest to look fierce, the little fellah said "Now you gotta fight me!  Come on, put 'em up!"

Surprise looked at him for a moment, then at Gilda.  When Surprise spoke, Gilda was vaguely aware that Surprise's voice had changed.  Formerly high-pitched and girlish-sounding, it was now low, soft and mature.

Surprise said "I wasn't coming at him.  I was coming at you, he just happened to be in between us."

All Gilda could do was groan.

So Surprise continued.  "I don't hurt children, of any species.  That is one line I simply will not cross."

But then Glider barked back "But you are hurting me!  When I'm hungry tomorrow, who's gonna show me how to find food?  When the big bullies pick on me, who's gonna stand up to them?  When a big animal tries to eat me, who's gonna protect me?  If Gilda's not here, I'll... I'll be all alone!"

Then there was silence.  Even though she made no visible movement or expression, Surprise herself seemed stunned by the child's words.  Everypony who stood around watched, wondering what turn events had taken, and wondering what fate had in store for the two griffons.  Gilda herself was too weak to move or say much of anything, but even she felt a movement, somewhere in her heart.

Then Surprise dug at the ground.  Nopony, and no griffon, understood what she was doing until she caught some worms in her teeth and put them right next to Gilda's beak.  Gilda managed to groan out a "huh?"

To which Surprise said "Eat up, get your strength back."

Glider's eyes widened, and filled with water.  "You mean... you're not gonna eat my sister?"

Surprise said nor did nothing for a moment, then she said "Now that I think about it, younger griffons don't taste that great anyway.  But when you turn 900 or so, watch out!"  She said this last line in a playful way.

Glider smiled and hugged the white-furred, green-maned pegasus.  "Oh thank you thank you thank you!  Did you hear that Gilda?  She's not gonna eat you!"

Surprise smiled, and then said "But you know, even if I don't eat her, there are other predators.  Your big sis won't always be around.  You need to learn to be strong, and the sooner you start, the better.  Until then, be safe, kiddo."

Then Surprise walked away, the crowd of ponies parting to accomodate her.  Gilda watched her go.  The whole time, she wondered if this was a trick, or a delirium.  Maybe she was dead and this was some sort of heavenly "what if" scenario playing out.  It wasn't until Surprise completely left that Gilda realized she was not dead, dreaming or trapped.

Then she ate a worm, thankful to be alive.

When she was well enough to move, the ponies transported Gilda back to Pinkie Pie's room, where she holed up for a couple of hours until she was well enough to walk.  Young Glider eagerly stood by her side the whole time, anxious to see her recovery.

And recover she did!  The next day, it was as if the fight had never happened.  Except for one thing:  the super-sticky gum was still under Gilda's wings.  In all the excitement, they had forgotten that.  Pinkie, it turned out, simply did not have enough soda to fill a bath tub, so they tried putting just a bottle on the gum.  That seemed to do nothing.

Then Applejack suggested "Maybe Twilight will know!" and so it was on to the library.  There they found Twilight doing what she always did:  reading.

So Rainbow Dash explained the problem, and Twilight said "That certainly is an interesting predicament.  I've never heard of this 'Super-Sticky-Bubble-Gum' stuff."

"But can you get rid of it?"  Dash asked.

"Well... I've got some super-dissolver in my lab, but that can melt through skin.  If you want to risk it..."

Before Gilda could make up her mind on that matter, the library door opened again and Surprise began to walk in, but when she saw who was there she said (still in mature-voice) "Oh, I guess I came at a bad time.  I'll come back later."

"Not so fast!"  Rainbow Dash caught Surprise and pulled her inside.  "You put that sticky stuff on Gilda's wings, maybe you know how to get it off!"

"The super-sticky bubble gum?"

"Yeah!"

Surprise looked at Twilight and said "What you need is salt.  Just rub it on the gum, and it'll turn to sand and lose its adhesive properties.  After that, you can just wash it off."

"On it!"  Twilight went to the kitchen and back in the blink of an eye.

And lo and behold, what Surprise said turned out to be the truth.  The gum came off, exactly as the pegasus had said it would.  Gilda jubilantly stretched her wings and circled around the library, accidentally blowing a few books off the shelves and not even batting an eye.  "Oh yeah!  Gilda the Griffon is back in action!"

Rainbow Dash said "Awesome!"

Gilda happened to spy Surprise trying to sneak out the door, and rushed to block her exit.  "Hey wait a minute, I wanna have a word with you!"  Gilda puffed up as much as she could, then spoke.  "I always thought of myself as a tough bird, and I thought nothing could take me down.  I never thought I would say this, but I was wrong.  You took me down.  You showed me how weak I was.  And I can't stand that."

Surprise stood stock still, while the other ponies and Glider worried that the battle was about to begin again, and so soon after big sis had gotten better!

Then Gilda said "So from now on, I'm gonna get stronger!  I will become the strongest griffon in the world!  And when I do, I'll be back for a rematch!  No holds barred!  To the finish!"

Glider bounced happily, "Me too!  I'll be the second strongest griffon in the world!"

Then Dash smirked and asked "Hey, what about that big race?"

"That's after the fight!"  Gilda smiled and winked at Dash.  "See ya around, Ponies!  Come on Glider, let's get tough!"

"Yeah!"

And the two griffons took off into the air together.  Glider looked back to see the ponies becoming distant, colored specks.  But for Gilda, there was only one destination:  Up, higher and higher, until she was at the very top!

In her mind's eye, Gilda saw pictures of the future.  Fighting dragons, winning championships, being one of the most famous athletes of all time.  And perhaps she had the ability to predict the future, because as she got older a lot of the things she imagined that day came to pass.

Indeed, by the time she was old enough to taste good, she had become a figure of legend, and it was often said that the only sorrow in her life was that her rematch with Surprise never happened.

~ See you next Scene! ~

~ And now, the Afterword! ~

To tell you the truth, I really liked this story.  But you probably see why I considered it... damaging.  For those who just skipped down here, I'll explain:  basically, when I first showed this to beta-readers, it garnered a lot of comparisons to the infamous Cupcakes.  That's... not what I wanted.  The problem was timing:  this was only Scene 3, readers didn't really know who Surprise was yet.  It was like if you watched Lesson Zero or Party of One before seeing how Twilight or Pinkie behave in other, more typical situations--your expectations would be completely different, and you'd come away with the wrong message.

There's no excuse now.  We've seen Surprise cook nutterberry pies, become Fluttershy's other best friend, beat up witches and evil bee-people, reform Blueblood, make inspiring speeches, dance with humans and other things that should've set readers right.  For that reason I feel its safe to show "Griffon Meat" to the world.

And anyway, I'm currently working on the last Surprise Days story, "Walking a Tightrope," which will be a heartwarming piece garaunteed to melt off any negative residue you may have picked up.  That should be posted before the year is out.

I'll see ya there!