The life and times of Lafayette Ryder

I wake up naked and in someone else’s bed. Again.

“What the fuck?”

I look at the sleeping ponies on either side of me. Ponies, as in plural. To my left is Fluttershy, OK I remember that started with the whole ‘pet my beaver’ thing, but to my left is a large lump underneath the blankets. All I know about the large lump is that it has a cold wet nose; I know that because it is pressing against a specific part of me. I peel back the blankets slowly and see a massive red leg and another appendage peeking out at me.

“Big Mac?”

The draft horse grunts and adjusts himself against me, which only worsens the predicament I’m in. ‘Think dammit, think! What the hell happened last night, why am I lying naked in bed with Fluttershy and Mac, why do my wrists hurt, and why are they both wearing socks?’ I mentally berate myself for not remembering just as my brain decides to cooperate.

I remember.

Last night, after Fluttershy had tied me to the bed, Big Mac had come here to speak with me. Apparently he had gone to Twilight’s and then to everyone else’s house in search of me until he found me here, it seemed that I would be needed at Sweet Apple Acres at five thirty the next morning and he wanted to notify me. When he got here Fluttershy decided that two was fun but that three would be a party, she invited Mac in and led him to the bedroom where I was bound and gagged. I remember the very creepy smile that came over Mac’s face. Let’s just say the he didn’t need much convincing to join us.

Back to the here and now; Fluttershy yawns and stretches beside me. I rub her shoulder and she scoots closer to my side and turns to look at me. She sees me and smiles, then she sees Mac’s leg and a mix of emotions cover her face: fear, lust, sorrow, joy, angst, pleasure, and a dozen others that I’m to damn lazy to recall. I can just barely hear her as she speaks.

“Wow, that was wild, uh, you’re not upset with me are you?”

“No, I had fun, but just what the hell happened last night?”

“Well, I had you on the bed when Mackey came over, I let him in and asked him to join us and he said yes.”

“I remember all that, what happened after that?”

“Well we, uh, you know, for a few hours and then I fell asleep. I don’t know what you and Mackey did after that.” Fluttershy nuzzles my chest and then squeaks loudly as if something poked her. She lifts herself up with her wings to reveal a large… toy that was underneath her. We both look at it and then at each other. I swear to God I’ve never seen such a terrifying rape face in my life as hers.

Fifteen minutes later we settle down as Mac stirs. We both sit next to him, one on each side, and wait. Mac yawns loudly and cracks his neck. He looks left at Fluttershy and smiles; he looks right to me and…

“HOLY CELESTIA!!!”

For someone as big as he is Mac moves quick, before we can even start to laugh he’s out of the bed and at the door but he can’t exactly leave due to an appendage that is no longer flaccid. He stands, five points of contact with the ground, and stares at us. Fluttershy is giggling softly and I’m outright cackling. Fluttershy flies over to him and asks him to come back to bed, for a second Mac looks ready to say no but then he looks her in the eyes and caves, together we walk back to the bed which creaks as they get on. Between Mac and I it’s a miracle we haven’t broken it yet.

“So jus what went on last night?” Mac asks. Fluttershy and I take turns narrating the remembered events.

“Well Fluttershy invited me over and tricked me into sleeping with her…”

“I didn’t have to try too hard to trick Lafe, uh, sorry. Then you came to talk to him and I let you in…”

“You jumped in and we went at it for a while…” Mac grunts, it seems that he too has sat on a …toy and it poked him right in the…never mind.

“Then I fell asleep…”

“And I have no clue what happened after that…”

“So what we want to know is what happened after I passed out…”

“Where that came from…” I point at the… toy.

“And why we’re wearing socks.” Fluttershy finishes and Mac looks down at the bright pink socks that are stretched onto his back hooves.

“Well I think I can clear up a few things.”

Mac proceeds to describe the most explicit sex scene I’ve ever heard of, toys, positions and every imaginable act we could think of. I actually feel proud that I managed a few of those things. By the end of Mac’s tale fluttershy’s wings are as rigid as steel and I’m saluting proudly. Fluttershy looks down at me and whispers. “Wow, you really weren’t lying,” She looks back up. “Not that I thought you were, it’s just…wow!”

I cover my lap with a pillow and look to Mac.

“So that explains everything except for the socks, any clue?” I look to both of the ponies in the bed with me, they both shake their heads.

“Weird, by the way, what was it you needed to tell me Mac?”

“Oh, we need ta get ta Sweet Apple Acres by five thirty and start makin’ cider.”

“OK, what time is it now?”

“Seven fifteen.” Big Mac and I both thank her.

“Wait…”

“Seven…”

“Fifteen…”

“Oh…”

“Shit!!!”

With a quick kiss to Fluttershy Mac runs to her shower and turns the cold water on to rid himself of his fifth leg, I jump out of bed and dress as quickly as I can. Five minutes later Mac and I are barreling out of the cottage. Mac stops long enough to kiss Fluttershy and ask her out to dinner later, with a yes and another kiss he runs off and catches up with me.

We both run as fast as we can to Sweet Apple Acres and get there in a third the time it should have taken. We tear into the farm and race to the area where Granny Smith, Applejack, and Applebloom are already mashing apple with a large machine and pouring the resulting liquids into tubs. We slow to a jog as we approach. Applejack hops off the treadmill wheel on the machine and glares at us.

“Jus where in tha Sam hill have you two been?!?”

“Uh.”

“Um.”

“Fishing!”

“Eeyuup!”

“Whatever, just get to work, Macintosh get on tha wheel, and sonny dump those barrels of apples into this here hole in the machine.” Granny Smith seems pissed so we start immediately.

“Yes Granny.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

Mac gets in the wheel and starts trotting, but not before donning a bitchin' set of stempunk goggles, to power the machine. I pull a pair of work gloves from my bag, pull my kerchief over my mouth and nose, and don my own, not as awesome, goggles and start dumping barrel after barrel into the hole Granny pointed out.

Five minutes in and I’m already sore and sweaty, the sun beats down on my back and the barrels easily weigh two hundred pounds each, this is gonna be a long day.