The life and times of Lafayette Ryder

Warning: Sad.

Five blocks away from Pinkie’s new house it hits me.

“Twilight,”

“Yes dear?”

“You’re one of the most powerful Unicorns in Equestria, I have the ability to do just about anything, and I have a truck. Why the fuck are we walking?”

Twilight looks up at me and shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t know, you tell me mister genius.” I grin at her and snap my fingers.

“SHIT!!!”

Note to self: don’t summon things above where someone is standing. Especially when that someone is you.

“Oh my gosh! Lafayette, are you alright?” Twilight shouts at me from beside the truck.

“No…please…move…this…goddamn…truck…off…of...me…I…can’t…fucking…breath…DAMMIT… HOT… MUFFLER!”

“OK, OK, I got this, just stay still and ughh!”

I feel the truck move off of me and to the middle of the road. Twilights ceases her spell and the apple picker slumps onto the dirt path.

“Oh my gosh, are you OK?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” I stand up and dust myself off. “Hop in Twi, we’re driving the rest of the way.”

“OK,” She says as she opens the door and eases herself into the passenger seat. “Are you sure that you’re OK?”

“Twi, I’m fine,” I pull a Duke boys hood slide to prove my words. “I’ve been shot, stabbed, blown up, swarmed by buggers, sent to the moon, oh and don’t forget falling ten miles to Equestria!” I settle down behind the wheel and strap myself in. “You can’t get rid of me with something as minuscule as dropping a truck on my head.” Twilight giggles and I smirk at my stubbornness. I turn the key, rev the engine, and we gun it through town towards Ponyville hospital.

In another five minutes we pull up in front of the hospital, we head in and are told to sit down and relax while we wait. The ER is almost empty so we flop down on a padded bench and talk about our plans.

“So Lafe, when are we going to get married? We don’t even have the rings yet and I’ve got this little feller here.” Twi points at her belly which I rub softly.

“I’m going to Canterlot tomorrow to get the rings; Rarity said she would take me to a friend of hers who’s a jeweler. And I was actually going to wait until after this guy,” I smile as I feel my new child kick my hand. “After this guy is out and about. Is that OK?”

“Yes, that’s just fine, maybe after that I’ll be able to fit into my mother’s wedding dress, would you like that?”

“Sure, Twi. Just one thing, I still haven’t met your parents… I’m kinda afraid that they’ll be pissed at me for knocking up their daughter, ditching her, and just now proposing.”

“Don’t worry, I told them all about you while you were gone. They’re not mad in the least, in fact they’re really happy that you are back and that you did propose.” Twilight smiles softly. “So I wanted to ask, would you mind if I had, um, five maids of honor?” She laughs halfheartedly, as though she thought it was a stupid question.

“No, that’s just fine. I figure ill have Big Mac and Toby as my groomsmen, er, groomsponies I guess. Maybe Shining too.”

“OK, I’m just glad you’re alright with that, I don’t think I could pick just one of them.” I kiss Twilight on the nose and chuckle.

“I’m alright with whatever makes you happy Twi.”

“Really?” Oh good God, what have I done? The look on Twilight’s face makes my blunder apparent.

“Be gentle,” I whisper into her ear. “Oh, and please use some lube this time around. My ass is still sore.” Twilight bursts out laughing as a familiar white mare with a red cross walks out and summons us.

“I’m ready for you now, deary.”

Twilight and I get up and follow the mare into a private room. I help Twi onto the examination table and then sit down on another padded sofa.

“Good to see you again dear, how have you been feeling?” The nurse pulls out a pad of paper and starts scribbling things down as she takes Twi’s temperature, pulse and weight.

“Pretty good, Lafayette’s back so I’m not nearly as stressed out as I was earlier.”

“Ah, so this is the father?” The nurse looks me over and grunts a bit. “Well he’s not much of a looker but I guess he’ll do.” She extends a hoof which I shake and then introduces herself. “Nurse Redheart, OB-GYN and NP.”

“Wait, if you’re an OB-GYN shouldn’t we call you Doctor?” I ask curiously.

She snorts. “My husband is Dr. Redheart and I’m just fine being called Nurse. Anyway, Dr. Whooves will be here shortly to cast the spell that will allow us to see the foals.” A knock at the door causes us to all turn. “Ah, here he is.” A skinny brown stallion with scraggly hair matching his fur and a time piece mark enters the room.

“Hello, everypony, how are we today?” he walks in and looks at the notes Nurse Redheart had written.

“Just fine.” Replies Twilight.

“Well let’s go ahead and get this done, are we ready?”

“Yes.” Says Twi.

“Ready as ill ever be.” Says I.

Nurse Redheart scoots back as Dr. Whooves (I guess he really is a Dr. just not the twelfth one.) fiddles with a small device. After a minute of beeping a beam of light covers Twilight’s stomach and another beam projects onto the wall.

We can see not one but two little shapes on the screen.

“Twins!” Proclaims and excited Twilight. I just smile and look. My smile fades a bit as I do so.

On the left is a perfectly developing colt, on the right is…

A tear falls from my eye as the other three ponies in the room gasp. I hear Twilight stutter.

On the right is a horrible deformed foal, his spine is twisted and his legs are bent. Worst of all his skull seems to have caved in on itself.

I begin to weep as I gaze at the dying figure of my third child.

First Dulcie, who I only knew for a few months before I died, and now this fetus, who I may never even see alive.

I lean over and cover my face with my hands. In the back of my mind I hear his voice. I hear Jeff.

‘You shouldn’t have done that. You knew I’d get my revenge. Was it worth it Brendon? Is the life of you son worth getting rid of me?’

I dig my thumbs into my eyes a bit and cry.

This is all my fault.