Anthrexia: A New Element

His voice sounded oddly slurred. “Oh God, Twily, it was horrible. My dick touched a pony vagina."

"What?"

"Vinyl Scratch. At the bar. She tried to touch my pee-pee." He made an odd noise at the back of his throat and hugged her tighter, nearly crushing her in his iron grip.

"J-John? You're crushing me..."

He set her down, and put his forehead in a hand. "Sorry. I get... huggy, when I'm drunk."

Twilight caught her breath. She still felt an odd, cool sensation where his arms touched her. It wasn't entirely unpleasant. "Alright, now start over from the beginning."

And so, John spun a tale of singing and dancing, drinking and being merry, fights and a blue-haired seductress. He nodded at the good memories upon finishing. "All in all, a productive night, as far as I'm concerned. I'm kinda just hoping she doesn't try to find me. That'd be awkward..."

"Speaking of awkward..." He turned to Nurse Redheart. She cringed, expecting a reprimand for earlier that day, when she'd taken advantage of his distress and kissed him. Instead, she felt his arms, like tree trunks, wrapping around her and picking her up, hugging her close. "I'm sorry, Red. I shouldn't have run out on you like that. I just... I need some time to adjust, okay?"

She felt his lips brush her cheek. Then, his hot tongue dragged up her ear. He sighed. "Oh..."

The mane six's jaws dropped as, for the second time that day, John the Human locked lips with Nurse Redheart.

. . .

I ran my hands down to Red's butt and gave it a squeeze. "Mmm..."

I felt her arms wrap around my shoulders, and she pressed her mouth harder to mine. I ran a hand through her hair and breathed in her sweet scent. I pressed my member, tight in my jeans, against her belly, making sure she felt how hard I was.

Oh, God, I was so hard.

"John..." She breathed.

"Lana..." I replied, pressing her chest harder to mine, to better feel her breasts.

Her chest was flat, her sternum hard, unlike my girlfriends soft, luxurious D-cups. The spell was broken. She was a pony again.

"John?" She leaned back in my embrace, wondering why I'd stopped.

"I'm sorry, Red, I really am. It's just not doing it for me." I gave her a last peck on the lips and set her down. I smoothed her mane and turned away. The other ponies in the room were staring. "Take a damn picture, it'll last longer."

Pinks actually pulled out a camera and took a picture, blinding me. I yanked it away and threw it against the wall.

Twilight completely ignored this. "John... what the..."

"Leave it alone, Twilight."

"Um... okay. What happened with Vinyl Scratch, then?"

"Kinda like what happened between me and you earlier today, except she meant to do it." She blushed at the mention of the earlier misunderstanding.

"Well, there has to be a reason all of these mares are feeling oddly attracted to you."

As she pondered this, I turned in a circle, checking the room. Rares and Shy were there, and of course, my best friend ever, Pink. Other than Red and Twi, there were two more ponies there, both from the show.

The rainbow-haired one and the cowboy one. I held out my hand. "We haven't been introduced; I'm John the Human."

Cowboy Pony replied first. He shook my hand enthusiastically. "Well, shoot, John, we might as well already be friends, considerin' how much Twi's been talkin' 'boutcha! Mah name's Applejack!"

"Well, it's nice to make your acquaintance, Applejack, I see my reputation precedes me. I'm just glad I'm not alone among all these girls. All this female energy make's a guy uncomfortable, am I right?"

"Umm, yeah..." He looked confused.

"Whatever." I turned to the other guy, the pegasus. "I think I know your name... Rainbow... Flash?"

"Actually, it's Dash, but you were close! Fastest flier in Equestria!" He flew into the air and flexed his arms.

"That's interesting, you're very interesting." I pulled out my flask and shook it. There was only a little bit left. I downed it. "Alright, now that we're all friends, I'm tired, so I'm gonna go to bed."

I tucked the flask back into my jacket, then proceeded to smash Twi's coffee table by violently falling asleep on it.

. . .

He tucked his odd silver bottle back in his coat, and then collapsed onto Twilight's coffee table, causing it to disintegrate under his titanic weight. He let out a soft, growling purr. A snore.

Applejack voiced what was on everypony's mind. "What the hay just happened?"

"I think he fell asleep."

"Let's rape him!" Everyone looked at Pinkie. "What?"

Rainbow Dash clocked her over the head. "Rape is never funny, Pinkie."

"I wasn't trying be funny..." She grumbled, rubbing her cotton candy locks. Nurse Redheart moved to John and opened his mouth, sniffing his breath.

"As I thought. Alcohol sickness. Help me roll him over, please?" Applejack attempted rolling the human over with extreme effort.

"Fella's heavier'n he looks, Dash, gimme a hoof, here." When the ponies finally managed to flip him over, Redheart began digging through his coat pockets. She pulled out his odd, silver bottle and opened it, sniffing. It reminded her of scraped knees and paper cuts. Alcohol.

"Why was he drinking alcohol? Is he trying to poison himself?" Redheart shook her head, at a loss.

Twilight remembered something he'd told her earlier about the contents of the flask. "He told me it keeps him regular. Maybe alcohol is important to human biochemistry, or... or..."

Rainbow brought her back to Eden. "Rather than wonder, let's just wake him up and ask." She dropped from her perch, and prepared to kick the creature in the head.

"Um... Rainbow... I'll do it." Fluttershy knew her friend had a strong kick. She leaned close to the human's ear. "Um, John? We need you to get up now."

"Mmm... but Ma, I just graduated, can't I sleep in for five minutes?"

"No, John, you have to get up." Grumbling, the human obliged, getting to his hands and knees. He looked at Fluttershy.

"Good morning, Ma." He held up a finger and hooked her under the chin. "Give us a kiss."

He leaned forward and pecked her on the tip of the snout. She eeped and fled the room. John giggled drunkenly.

"She's real cute, that Shy." He shook his head and stood, swaying. "Holy shit. Goddamn."

Twilight chalked this up as another one of those weird things he did that would probably never be explained. "Um, John, you've been acting strange. Is there a reason why?"

"Well, partly because I'm a pan-dimensional traveler, and partly because I'm drunk off my ass. Do you have a shower?"

"You're... drunk?"

"Yeah, soused, boozed up, buzzed, crocked, inebriated, plastered, sloshed, tanked, tipsy, three sheets to the wind, wasted. You see, you drink alcohol, and your brain gets all derped up like this. Do you have a shower?"

"Um, yes, upstairs, straight across the bedroom."

"Good. Thanks." He scooped her up in another hug before stumbling up the stairs. Fluttershy re-entered the room, now that John was gone. He made her feel funny.

If Twilight had fingers, she would have pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. Failing that, she settled for a loud sigh. She turned back to the gathered ponies.

"All right. Well. We found John, he doesn't seem hurt, so... crisis averted, I guess. You can all go home, if you want."

All the ponies but Redheart filed out, saying their good-nights.

The nurse hung back, glancing up the stairs to where the Human disappeared. She sighed and turned to Twilight. "Make sure to contact me if the alcohol sickness doesn't improve. And don't stress yourself out over him, either."

Shaking her head, she moved to the door before turning around again. "Take care of that human, Twilight."

A few seconds after she left, Spike entered. He tossed a letter onto the writing desk and flopped down onto his favorite ottoman. "Hey, Twilight. What was Nurse Redheart so upset about?"

"Spike, where have you been? I haven't seen you since Celestia came by!" She checked the clock above the door. "And it is WAY past your bedtime!"

"Relax, Twi, I've stayed up later than this before we got Owlowiscious, and besides, it's not like I need more sleep than I already get." His eyes glazed over slightly. "The things I have seen, Twilight. The things I have seen..."

"You spent an hour catching and subsequently eating a butterfly, then took a nap in a field until you got hungry again and wandered back."

"It was a grasshopper, but other than that, you're spot-on. What's for dinner?"

"It's one o'clock in the morning, if you want something to eat, you're making it yourself."

"Harsh."

Twilight giggled. Leave it to the little dragon's antics to cheer a mare up.

. . .

I entered the bathroom and removed my shirt. I checked my reflection, flexed a little. I'd gone in the woods before heading back to town, but all the Tonic Rainbooms were making me have to piss like a racehorse. Upon seeing the state of Twilight's throne, however, I needed a confirmation, first.

"Twilight! There's something wrong with your toilet!"

"What? Theres something wrong with my toilet?"

"Yeah, it's like... a baby toilet. Also a couch." What I meant was, the device itself was wood and brass, and had a cloth cushion for a pony to support itself whilst engaging in activities. The entire structure, however, was obviously far too small and flimsy for my human body.

The procedure would've required too much finesse for my drunkenness to allow, so I decided to just pee in the shower.

I peeled off my slightly dusty pants and tossed them in the corner with my shirt. I'd taken off my jacket after I entered the house. That was all my clothes. All my possessions.

I took my shower. Alone with my thoughts.

So alone.

I miss Mike.

I took care of him after Mom and Dad died. Their deaths hit me hard, but Mike Helped me through it. He helped keep me from going insane. He gave me something to come back to.

I calmly washed my short blond hair with Twilight's lavender-scented soap.

Whenever I went out and got drunk, he made sure I got home safely. When I came back home one night full of holes, he'd been willing to fight Dutchy to help me. No small feat, he's an intimidating guy.

I dried off with a very small towel and attempted to wrap it around my waist. I checked the mirror on the wall.

As I looked into the mirror, I noticed something in the corner.

The odd lizard creature from the forest stared at me from the mirror, reclining on a pile of towels. "Hello, John. Settling in nicely, I see."

I turned around, only to find the image in the mirror didn't match the real thing. The towels were barren of any lizard-like chimeras. "How...?"

The creature in the mirror inspected his claws. "I'm using the mirror's reflective surface to communicate with you. It would be too dangerous for me to actually appear with Celestia's little lackey so close."

"Hey, don't be a dick."

It raised a brow. "Oh? Don't tell me that you actually care for the little witch? You're nothing but a specimen to her, John. A frog in a jar, waiting to be dissected. Mark me, my human friend, nothing good comes from associating with ponies."

"They've been a lot nicer to me than you have, snakeskin. How the hell do you know my name, anyway?"

"Come now, John, considering the commotion you've been making around town? It would be a trick for me not to know your name by now. Speaking of which, your little magic friend has told Celestia of your appearance here. She's on her way right now to dispose of you."

"I can handle myself."

"Precisely my point. Regarding that, have you considered my offer from earlier?"

I hadn't really devoted any thought to the subject, being somewhat distracted. I thought of Mike. He probably didn't even know I was gone. If I do what lizard-lips says and get back to Earth quickly, he won't have to miss me, and I can pretend this whole thing was just a bad dream.

"I'll do anything within reason if it'll get me home."

"Good man. Your mission is simple: We need you to take back the Chaos Crowns, six ancient artifacts that were stolen from my people by Celestia several millennia ago. She and her sister feared any power that rivaled their own, so they turned my oldest brother into a statue and imprisoned the rest of my siblings in the pits of Tartarus. I was barely able to escape. Only recently was my brother freed and the spell holding my family hostage broken, unfortunately, it was immediately re-cast. My other brother and sisters were freed however, and we need the crowns to save him and protect ourselves from the Princesses wrath."

Chaos Crown... Where have I heard that before?

"Cool story, bro. But why do you need me again?"

"The Crowns are heavily protected, even me and my siblings powers combined couldn't get through. I'm sure you've discovered the ability unique to your species: Immunity to magic. This immunity renders you invisible to detection spells, and capable of passing directly through even the strongest of wards with no protest."

"So, you want me to steal these 'Chaos Crowns', and then you'll send me back to Earth?"

"Yes, they are imperative to both our needs and yours; my family and I are not powerful enough to send you back on our own. We need their power, and so do you. I believe the Human term is, 'Win-Win'.

"Fine, then. I won't make any promises, but I'll look into it. If I see any crowns that look particularly chaotic, I'll nab 'em and bring 'em to you, capische?"

"Wonderful! However, if you find the Crowns, I shall come to you, as I doubt you could find us at our current hiding place. Good luck, my champion!" In the mirror, the creature opened the window and a pair of reptilian wings unfolded on his back. He waved goodbye and flew away into the night. When I looked back, the window was closed and had no sign of being opened at all.

I still don't trust the little fucker.

Call me suspicious, but my instincts were screaming, and my instincts have been keeping me alive for years. When they speak, I listen. But, if there's no other alternative, I may need to improvise a little in order to get back home in one piece. And I have to get home. For Mike.

John, where are you? His voice echoed in my head, frantic and fearful in a way I'd never heard it before.

"Mike? Is that you? MIKE!"

. . .

"Mike? Is that you? MIKE!"

Twilight heard a loud crash from the upstairs bathroom. "John? What are you doing up there?"

There was a loud thump and a bellow of pain. What if he's in trouble?

Twilight sprinted up the stairs, and hesitated before the closed bathroom door. He's probably naked in there!

Why did this thought send a shiver down her spine?

She shook it away and opened the door. John was seated on the floor, nude as she'd predicted. Her mirror was smashed and his Human blood painted the tiles deep crimson. He stared at his hand, which was cut and bleeding from the broken glass. Hearing her enter, his head snapped sideways at an unnatural angle, and he spoke in an ancient, dead voice.

"Flesh of the King still remains," He clawed at his chest, leaving streaks of his own blood across it, then trailed his hand down his arm, leaving a stripe of. "Blood of the King runs in his veins,"

"Once an evil thought destroyed," He attempted to stand but stumbled, catching himself on the counter. "Soon becomes an evil employed,"

"He shall come in the night, awaken in the day, and consort with the creature he was born to slay." He finally managed to stand. "But the lies will fall on deaf ears, Deception's heart, his blade will pierce!"

John spread his arms, blood dripping from his cut palm and a manic smile on his face. "His heart shall be shielded by his pain, blood shall spill in torrential rain, the greatest evils shall be slain, the Human race shall rise again!"

He bent over at the waist and vomited a putrid black liquid over the floor.

"Ow!" He stood up again and checked the cut on his palm. He looked at the floor, then at Twilight. "I don't remember eating that."

He sighed. "I started spouting poetry again, didn't I?"

"It's getting worse."

. . .

John had to take another shower, then he fell asleep on the guest bed across from Twilight's. The mare herself remained awake, studying John's poem, as well as the black liquid he'd regurgitated. It was almost enough to fill a large jar and it swirled around in it's container under it's own power. Sometimes, it formed human faces that she didn't recognize, and they would whisper terrible things to her. She tried to argue with it, but it refused to listen.

"Why do you obsess so over these silly pursuits, Twilight? Your friends find it obnoxious."

"What are you? How do you know my name?"

"You pursue knowledge doggedly, but to what avail? Everything written eventually fades, everything learned is eventually forgotten. It is pointless."

"Shut up."

"No matter how many books you read, no matter how many spells you learn, he will never love you, Twilight."

Rather than giving the jar a swift kick, like she wanted to so badly, she instead wrapped it in a blanket and stuffed it in a drawer. Turning her head to the poem, she mulled over it's meaning for the hundredth time.

Red eyes, dreaded lies, red balloons in sulfur skies

A cosmic clown, the chaos crown, he turned this world upside down

But, he’s not done, with his fun. Nay, his devilish tricks have just begun

For his childish game, he’ll take the blame; the chosen one cannot be tamed!

Flesh of the King still remains, blood of the King runs in his veins,

Once an evil thought destroyed, soon becomes an evil employed,

He shall come in the night, awaken in the day, and consort with the creature he was born to slay.

But the lies will fall on deaf ears, Deception's heart, his blade will pierce!

His heart shall be shielded by his pain,

Blood shall spill in torrential rain,

The greatest evils shall be slain,

The Human race shall rise again!

The first two verses was likely talking about Discord, or perhaps some other draconequus. Were there other draconequi?

The next verse chilled Twilight to the bone. Was this poem a prophecy? Was Discord going to return?

It also spoke of of a Chosen One, perhaps Twilight herself, but likely John. The flesh and blood lines confused her, as did the ones about evil, but the coming in the night and awakening in the day described his coming to the world well.

Twilight could not figure out what the rest meant. She sighed and closed the notebook that bore her cutie mark. She blew out the candle and worked her way up the stairs by the moonlight filtering in through the windows. The candle in her room was still lit. When she entered, she noticed that John was still awake, sitting on the bed and looking through his wallet. His shirt, socks and shoes were off and neatly stacked beside the bed, but he still wore his pants. His rounded, smooth musculature caught the shadows nicely, and his face sparkled in the candlelight.

Seeing her enter, he wiped his face and the sparkles disappeared. "I wasn't crying."

"Sure."

"Seriously."

"Whatever you say, John. Regardless, do you want to talk about it? It might help."

He sighed and wiped his face again. "That's what they say, isn't it?"

She opened the notebook again and magically pulled her hair into a bun. Conjuring a quill and a pair of reading glasses she didn't need, she jumped up onto the bed and curled up, getting comfy. This display prompted a small smile and a chuckle from John.

"Heh. That's a good look for you, Twi. Cute."

She blushed at the compliment. Stallions didn't often compliment her on her looks.

. . .

D'aww, wook at her with her cute widdle glasses!

Girls hate it when you squeeze their buns, but I REALLY wanna squeeze that bun.

. . .

He reached over and softly squeezed her bun. "Honk. Sorry, I couldn't resist."

Twilight cleared her throat and readjusted the bun. "Alright, then. You should start with what's bothering you. What were you sad about when you were cr-"

"I wasn't crying." He reminded her.

"What upset you so badly?"

John apparently wasn't very good at expressing his feelings. "Alright. Well. I'm just here, in this world, don'tcha know, and... I don't know If I'll ever get back. I got out my wallet and I saw the family picture, I saw Mike and... I'm worried I'll never see my little brother again. You got any brothers or sisters, girl?"

"Just one. My older brother. I haven't seen him in a while."

"How would you feel if you were in my position? Stuck on some weird planet where nothing makes sense, and there's a good chance you might never see any of the people you love again?"

Twilight was beginning to understand to scope of John's plight. Never able to see Shining Armor again? Never again able to hear Fluttershys tiny voice, or Pinkie Pie's laughter? John must have had friends he loved back on earth, too. "I'd feel absolutely terrible."

"And I can't do anything about it. I don't remember how I got here, almost all the locals won't even look at me, and Mike is probably worried sick."

Twilight took off her glasses. This was beyond her expertise. What would Princess Celestia do?

"Princess Celestia!"

John leaned up at her outburst. "Hm?"

"Princess Celestia might know how to get you home!"

"What makes you think that?"

"She's an immortal ruler with the power to raise the sun, maybe she knows how to make a portal or something? I don't know, John, but I just have a feeling she'll be able to help you. I'll write a letter to her right now!"

. . .

"Is my carriage ready?"

The Peppermint Butler was struggling to keep up with the long, purposeful stride of his princess, currently she was giving him a rather unfortunately good view of her rump as she hurried through the halls of her castle to her personal armory. "Of course. Goldenrod Squad is ready to move on a moments notice, your armor is prepared, and the ballistae are loaded and stallioned."

"Good." She reached the door to her personal armory and opened it with her magic. There her armor stood, in all of its glory. I was golden, and it curled and flowed, shining bright like the sun itself. It had been nearly four thousand years since she'd last donned it, yet it was well-maintained and was just as beautiful as ever. "Peppermint, if you please."

Peppermint shrugged out of his coat. "Your wish is my command, Highness."

He removed her regalia gingerly. Most ponies didn't know this, but the royal garments burn with the fire of the sun to mortal hooves. Few were allowed to see a princess without them. Peppermint marveled at his princesses wild beauty when the pieces were removed. She was the most noble and beautiful creature she'd ever seen. He didn't deserve to look upon her, let alone be her butler.

He picked up the chain mail shirt in his teeth and pulled it over her head. He helped her put her hooves through the sleeves and buckled the skirt to it. The plate mail was belted on and the weapons were sheathed soon after.

"You will be careful, Highness?"

"Even if I'm not, I have my butler to take care of me."

"Highness, you don't mean... I... I shall accompany you?" Peppermint hadn't dared to hope.

"Of course, Pepper. We will both have a chance at vengeance this day."

Peppermint's pale face stretched into a wide grin, clearly displaying his sharp, carnivorous teeth. There was a reason why the Peppermint Butler never smiled.

"Then I shall fetch my best coat." Of course, the situation called for fancy dress.

It isn't every day that one meets their maker.

. . .

John fell asleep to hopeful thoughts.

At least, Twilight hoped so. So far, the Human's emotions had been very difficult to read. Nonetheless, his grumbling snore resonated though the room quietly, like the purring of a content cat.

She pulled the notebook from the shelf and gazed at it again. It's not like she was going to get any sleep anyway. Not with such an exciting specimen snoring softly in front of her.

Truly exciting.

She opened the notebook to the page where she'd sketched him naked.

Why did she have these feelings? What was wrong with her?

What would the Princess think?

These questions, nor their answers, did nothing to put out the burning flame of desire in her heart, or the raging inferno between her legs. She looked at the Human's accurately sketched penis, she imagined the spear-shaped head piercing her, filling her with the glorious pain and pleasure of her first intercourse...

I'm having sexual fantasies about an interdimensional alien. Twilight Sparkle realized this and accepted it.

She considered going to him, waking him up, and asking for sex. Then she realized this might not be a good idea. She considered attempting intercourse while he slept. Then she realized this also might not be a good idea. So, she did what any shut-in, horny virgin would do.

Masturbating to an image of John was easier once she committed to it.

His hands ran up her body, like warm tingly spiders, taking her breath away. His hot, smoke-scented breath whispering to her, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Absolutely," She'd reply.

The fur about his mouth would tickle her lips as he kissed her passionately, she would feel his teeth, pointy, but not quite sharp, his tongue, soft and hot. His hand would run down and around her rump, and his long, rounded fingers begin pleasuring her in both her holes. Those hot, foreign objects, so strong, moving gently back and forth within her forbidden forest, lubricated by the sweet-smelling rain that fell within. He wouldn't break the love-seal. Not at first.

"Ah! Not so fast! At this rate, I'll..."

"Well, we can't let that happen right away, can we?" He'd kiss her again, softly, tenderly. He'd gently position herself over her and hold her tightly.

"I'm going to enter you now. And I'm not leaving until you cum." He'd say, in exactly the way she always dreamed a stallion would. Just like Bloodletter said to Aortic Valve. He'd enter her slowly, carefully, so as not to hurt her. the spearhead of his penis would part her hymen like a scalpel, painlessly and bloodlessly. He'd go in and out and in and out, filling her and leaving her wanting more. She would feel him get closer and closer until neither of them could stand it any more, and then they would cum together.

"Twilight!" He'd scream in ecstasy, as his love filled her from the bottom up.

"John!" She'd say softly, wrapping her hooves around him.

And there they'd lay, basking in the afterglow they created together.

. . .

People are often surprised to find out that I'm a light sleeper. Maybe it's because I'm so big, or maybe I just seem like a really mellow person, but people often just assume I sleep like a rock. But often I'm woken up in the middle of the night by the smallest of noises.

This time, it was a quiet whisper from Twilight. "Absolutely,"

Who the fuck is she talking to this late at night? I leaned up and turned my head. Twilight's hoof was between her legs, and there was a notebook on the bed beside her.

A notebook with her cutie mark on the cover.

Her hoof began to rub faster. "Ah! Not so fast! At this rate, I'll..."

As I recall, there are nudies of me in there.

Her body tensed up. "John!"

Only nudies.

It took a moment for my sleep-addled mind to process this.

ಠ_ಠ

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOD SHE'S SLAPPING THE CLAM AND I'M THE OBJECT OF A HORSE'S SEXUAL FANTASIES WHAT THE FUCK

-Crack-

. . .

Twilight rode the wave of her afterglow for a few minutes. She opened her eyes and put her notebook away. Now she could sleep in peace. A quiet night before the long day that await her.

Quiet night.

John wasn't snoring anymore.

Twilight looked to the absence of noise that was the human. There he lay, fully awake. His mane was mussed and his jaw was nearly on the floor. He'd seen everything, she knew it.

"John... I..."

. . .

Brain: (Screaming.) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mouth: (Rocking back and forth in the corner.) Get them out, get them out, I can feel them fluttering around inside me, like pretty little butterflies, blue ones, yellow ones, red the color of blood, warm, tasty blood...

Dick: (There is an audible popping noise as his mind fizzles out, and he falls to the floor, unconscious.)

Balls: (Sobbing.) You know, (Sniff.) I never wanted this job, (Sob.) when I was little, (Sniff.) I always wanted to be a dancer. I had a cute little outfit and everything.

Ass: (Puffing indignantly on his pipe.) My word, how indecent! I understand that ladies have their needs, but they should satisfy themselves in private! I mean, really!

Heart: Aww! She likes us!

. . .

His mouth closed slowly. Then it opened again, before closing once more. He looked at Spike, who slept peacefully. He looked out the window at the moon shining through. He looked back at Twilight, who'd frozen with her hoof between her legs. He nodded sagely.

He laid his head back on the pillow.

His soft, purring snore permeated the room once again

. . .

Mike actually convinced me to have a beer or two before I reminded him I needed to drive home. Apparently, someone needs to be missing for at least forty-eight hours before the police get involved. But I felt in my gut that John might not last that long, wherever he is.

My passenger door suddenly opened and an old friend entered. I was driving down the highway at seventy miles and hour. "Hallo, Michael."

I jumped at his sudden, very unexpected entrance. "Sebastian! How the fuck-"

"Well, I wasn't going to try to flag you down! You're on the autobaan!"

"My point exactly!" I sighed and chalked it up as 'Typical Sebastian,' entering a movie car at highway speeds and acting as if he did it everyday. Hell, as far as I know, he does. "Whatever, what do you want?"

Sebastian made a pouty face that did not fit on his grizzled, scarred features. "Oh, Michael, you cruel boy! Is that any way to treat your old friend? Het brutaliteit!"

"You jumped into a moving car for a friendly chat?"

"Damn you and your logic." His face became serious. "As you know, Johnathan has gone missing. Do you know his whereabouts?"

"What makes you think I'd know? I've been looking for him all day so far!" I sighed.

Sebastian looked out the window, frowning. "Then the situation is worse than I thought."

He was silent for a few seconds. Then he turned to me again.

"Michael, I promised your brother I wouldn't get you involved, but this is very important; Johnathan is strong, intelligent, and well-trained, he could survive any situation thrown at him, especially if he had incentive. And I can assure you, he is alive. If he was dead, we could find him, but his tracker will not respond, and he does not answer phone calls. It is as if he dropped off the Earth entirely. Which means there are only a few places he could have gone."

"Wouldn't 'dropped off the Earth' imply he disappeared?"

"People don't just 'disappear,' Michael. Not to me. If you do not know where John is, then I have a very busy night ahead of me. I will find your brother, Michael, I promise." He gave me a pat on the shoulder and changed the subject. "So, how are you and Ariel going? Goed?"

"Yeah, pretty good, We've been thinking of getting a pet."

"Ooh, a pet? I'd recommend a pig!"

"A pig?"

"Yes, of course! Very popular back in Europa. Intelligent, easy to train, no shedding, no leg-humping. But on the subject of humping, how is de seks?"

My face turned red. "What? The what?"

"The sex, Michael, how is it? Did it change now that you're married? Is it better? Worse? Does she let you go to new places? Hijg! Don't tell me you haven't yet?"

"Of course we have, Seb! Before we got married, even. She's very good in bed! Now that we tied the knot, well, I guess it happens a lot more frequently, pretty much every night."

"Anything interesting?"

"Pretty vanilla, I suppose. There's also... oral, sometimes. Mostly on my end." My cheeks got red again. My three C's: cooking, cleaning, and cunnilingus. Not that I mind.

"Ah, a gentleman! Goed, zeer goed. Have you considered my offer for the spel met drieën?"

"I dunno, Seb. I mean, I just got her to myself, you know, I'm not sure I'm willing to share her just yet."

"Aww, je bent niet leuk. I could make you both feel heel goed."

"I appreciate the offer, though. Maybe another time?"

"Bedankt, vriendin. To be honest, I've been thinking of settling down myself. John convincing me to retire was probably the best and nicest thing he could have done for me, if only I could find a fijn stuk van aars like your Ariel. Something to come back to, ja?" He elbowed me in the shoulder. I smiled and nodded.

"I'm sure you'll find her, Seb. With your charm and... good looks... I'm sure you're probably rolling in honeys!"

He took the jibe as a serious compliment. "Hm. Sometimes, that is the problem. Niettemin, until then, I shall continue my life of lechery!" He opened the door, letting in the wind of the car's speed.

"And speaking of lechery, give this to your wife!" He grabbed my shirt and pulled me in for a passionate kiss.

When he was done, I wiped my mouth. "Sebastian, what did I tell you about sticking your tongue down my throat?"

He leaned out of the car and called over the wind, "You should have learned by now, Michael: I never fucking listen!" And with that, he laughed and launched himself out of the moving vehicle, shutting the door behind him.

I couldn't help but laugh, too, despite the situation. Sebastian is like that.

. . .

Sebastian rolled to his feet, then watched as his best friend's brother faded into the distance. Despite his light conversation with Michael, he was not happy. Quite the opposite, he was very upset.

He pulled out his phone and called Èbène. "Michael was a no-go."

"Damn! He would not lie to you?"

"Never. Give Donovan a call, and Echo, if you can get a hold of him."

"I'll see what I can do. We're going to need everyone?"

"Not everyone, my dear, just the ones who care. We can't risk word of us getting back together reaching the Big Man. He would do his best to thwart us, and you've seen his best."

"I've always wondered, why does the Big Man hate John so much? It can't just be just some sort of alpha-male rivalry..."

"Big Man fears what he cannot control, and he hates being afraid. It is why he always hated me."

. . .

"Honey, I'm home!"

"Dinner's on the table!"

"Ooh, my favorite! Are you going to join me?"

"Of course, just lemme finish up this part... Done." I took off my glasses and wiped my face. Ariel entered the room, and wrapped her arms around me, pressing her breasts on my neck from behind my desk chair.

"The Final Stand? You only do this one when you're sad..." The Final Stand was a video game I was working on where the main character has to survive the alien apocalypse and is forced to watch his friends be killed off one by one.. And she was right, I could only get the dreary feeling of the game right when I was upset about something.

"You couldn't find him, could you?" I nodded. "Oh, baby..."

"Sebastian promised that he'd find him, and you know how Sebastian is. Speaking of which, he wanted me to give you this," I leaned up and gave her a long kiss, not unlike the one Seb gave me.

When we finished, she minimized The Final Stand and beckoned me with a finger. "Come downstairs, I have a surprise for you."

I went down the stairs into the living room. There was a teenage girl waiting for me, with small duffel bag at her feet. She was Japanese, probably about sixteen, wearing bright colored clothing, and totally kawaii. She didn't notice me, due to her eyes being closed and her head being wrapped in massive headphones. "Um, Honey? Who's this?"

Ariel came in from the kitchen. "This is Nakami Oroshi, from my math class. She's going to be staying with us for a while."

"Not that I mind, but why?"

"She's having trouble at home, and she doesn't have anywhere else to go." Ariel gently nudged the girl to get her attention. She opened her eyes and took off her headphones. "Nakami, I'd like you to meet my husband, Michael."

Nakami stood and turned to look at me. Then she squealed and hid behind my wife. "That's Michael Salem!"

"Um, yeah. That's me."

Nakami glared at Ariel. "Mrs. Salem, how come you never told me you were married to THE Michael Salem, the CEO and president of CountUp Studios?"

CountUp Studios was an online company I started by borrowing money from John, and is now the largest completely internet-based entertainment organisation in North America, and possibly the world.

I didn't plan on getting famous with it, I just realized that there was so much good, creative stuff in the online community that wasn't being represented, so basically, I hired a bunch of prospective artists from various fields, threw them in a pile, and said 'go'. The whole thing pretty much snowballed from there, as we needed to hire more and more people to keep up with demand. We did video games, movies, music, novels, and even live showings. While much of our content was not mine, and thanks to my contributors, the company pretty much ran itself, every once in a while I'd lead a project and it would immediately shoot to the top of the traffic list.

"Well, you know our last name, but other than that, you never asked!"

Disregarding this, Nakami ran to me and held out her hand. "Mr. Salem, my name is Nakami, and I'd gladly have your babies!" She blushed red and began stammering. I smiled.

"That's nice, but I already have someone for that."

"Wait, NO! What I meant to say was, I'm your biggest fan! I have all your games and stories! I'm subscribed to your Vlog and I'm following you on Twitter!"

"Well, it's great to meet you, Nakami. From what I hear, you'll be staying for a while?"

"Um, yeah, my mom found out my dad's been... running around, and, well, she kicked him out, but now, all she does is cry all the time. And it's not like she's been the most faithful either."

"I take it you don't want to take sides?"

"Yeah."

"Well, if you're gonna be staying here, we're gonna have to get you used to my cooking!" I gestured to the kitchen.

"Wow, you're just as nice as you are on the Internet!" She observed as I set her a place.

"I try." I winked at her, getting a bright red blush for my efforts

Dinner was far from quiet, Nakami barely gave my any time to my food, what with her interest in my company and my in general. Then, after dinner, she convinced me to tuck her in and give her a good night kiss. I even read her a short excerpt from Butterfly Kisses by Michael Salem, (my only romance novel so far) for good measure.

"Yoi yoru, Nakami.'

She giggled at my Japanese, and that was that.

I went to my bedroom and peeled off my clothes. Ariel was still in the bathroom.

"Yeah, Nakami's a bit of a handful, huh?"

"Tell me about it, babe. Thought the kid would never get to sleep."

"I think she likes you."

"Now, what makes you think something silly like that?"

Ariel, exited the bathroom, completely nude and bouncing. No matter how many times I see her naked, it still takes my breath away, and probably will until the day I die.

"Well, let's see, just off the top of my head; You're nice, you're handsome, and a true gentleman." She backed me onto the bed like a prowling tiger. "You're funny, your glasses are cute, you have nice teeth, a soft voice, and gentle hands."

"Your abs are yummy, you have a nice butt, and pretty eyes." She laid a quick peppering of kisses up my neck. "You have sensitive nipples, you know how to treat a lady, and you have a great... big..."

"Heart?" I supplied with a grin. Ariel giggled. Nailed it.

"No, silly. I was going to say, you have a great, big, throbbing cock, and I want it inside me, right now."

I reached for the condoms on the bedside table. "Your wish is my command, your highness."

She grabbed my reaching hand and guided it away from the condoms, and instead, to her breast.

"Not tonight. It's going to be special from now on."

"Are you sure?"

"I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life."