"Y'know, I can break these cuffs."

"You can't break those cuffs."

Snap.

"You broke the cuffs..."

. . .

I walked out of the shower, reveling in the steam and humming to myself.

Me and Ariel had our early morning quickie and then she left for school. It was an inservice day, so the teachers had to show up, but not the students. She always found them annoying, apparently they never got anything done anyway. When she gets done, I'll have some of those brownies she likes waiting for her.

Until then, I figured I'd hang out with Nakami for a little while. Being with me seemed to take her mind off the situation with her parents, and she was a rather interesting little girl.

"You don't shave down there?" Speak of the devil.

"Nakami! Friggin' knock!" I yanked a towel off the rack and wrapped it around me before she could see any more.

"Sorry. But I thought you were supposed to shave down there?"

"What? No! Only porn stars do that. Wait, why am I even discussing this with you?"

Suddenly, Window Sebastian. "Actually, the shaving of the pubic hair is more a matter of personal choice. For example, I've met porno sterren who do not shave, and normal people who do. I, personally, find shaving to be uncomfortable."

"Dammit, Sebastian, I have a door!" He was crouched in my windowsill, calmly conversing with me on the second floor of my house. "I'd appreciate if you would use it!"

"Aww, but if I used the door, I would not get to see you naked!" He stepped down from the sill and turned to Nakami. "Who is your friend?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose. Knowing Sebastian, he's not going to leave until he does whatever he came to do. Best to satisfy him so he can get around to that. Don't get me wrong, Sebastian is a very good friend of mine and I'd go to hell and back for him, but hanging around with him hurts my brain.

"Sebastian, this is Nakami Oroshi. She's been staying with me and Ariel."

"And you let her see you naked? Naughty, naughty! What if Ariel catches you?"

"Hey, it wasn't my idea." I adjusted my towel, frowning. "Now, if you could both please get out, this bathroom is two-hundred percent over-capacity."

"Oh, calm yourself, Michael, this will only take a moment. All of the preparations are in place to find your brother, the team is being gathered as we speak, and we've marked various locations to-"

"Are you sure we should be discussing this in front of..." I motioned to Nakami, who looked really confused.

"Ach, let her listen. I'm done keeping UNJO's secrets." His face darkened. "There has been a change in the Organization since I left. My retirement has prompted many Operatives to leave as well. The Big Man is getting desperate, holding tight to what he has. Gathering my team will take time, and up until that point, we will be vulnerable. We must tread carefully."

"What does this have to do with John? Or me?"

"Everything, Michael. It has everything to do with you and John. Telling you what I know would put you in danger and make you a target, but you and your brother are very important. As in, 'Fate of the World' important, so take care of yourself. In the meantime, I'll have my little girl keep an eye on you."

He took a bow and backed out the window nonchalantly. Nakami ran to the sill and checked outside. "He's gone!"

"Of course he is, he's Sebastian. Now, please get out, so I can get dressed."

. . .

Sebastian pulled out his phone as he sped down the highway. He switched to Italian. "Ragno, are you in position?"

"Of course, sir. My crew and I have a plain view of the house and the surrounding area." Ragno Tessitore hung upside down from a tree outside the Salem household. She and a half-dozen other former Operatives were scattered about the property, keeping surveillance on the whole area. She herself had a pair of binoculars trained on Michael himself, who was very hot, and currently very naked.

"Did you receive the list of Operatives loyal to the Big Man?" Sebastian turned off on the next exit, heading toward Green Bay.

"Yeah. You sure this is all legit, sir?" Ragno unzipped her pants and began to play with herself, because perché diavolo non?

"Of course, approved by Èbène herself, you know how good she is with people." A car attempted to pass Sebastian and he allowed it. He was in a hurry, but he was also a gentleman.

"With all due respect, sir, that's just your nice way of saying she's a huge slut." Si, flex those arms, you delicious hunk of man-meat, naturalmente nessuno sta guardando!

"Easy, girl. Now, if any of the people on that list even show up in the same zip code as Michael, I don't even want to be able to find a body, am I clear?" Sebastian checked his watch.

"I'll try, sir, but you're awful hard to outsmart." Michael wiped off his glasses and put them on, more fetish fuel. Oh, yes, Ragno would have a hard time getting this one out of her head.

"I have faith in you, Ragno. Also, I want you to take especially good care around Michael. He won't like that I'm assigning guards to him without his knowlege, especially if they're endangering themselves at his expense, so keep your presence to a minimum."

"What of the girl? And his wife?" Ragno had a team of two each following the Mrs. and the young Asian girl.

"They are to receive the same treatment, of course. They are all very important to me." Sebastian pulled into the airport and grabbed his bag. He'd already purchased his ticket.

"Permission to speak freely, sir?" Quasi non ci...

"Ragno, for the last time, I'm not your superior officer, and I never was. You're lucky I put up with all of your 'sir' bullshit."

"Sorry, sir, I just... I'm behind you no matter what, but are you sure you know what you're doing? All of this sneaking around, reinforcing potential targets, allocating our resources, gathering people... the Big Man's going to think you're preparing for war."

"Oh, my dear, sweet Ragno, what if I am?" She could hear the grin in his voice just before he hung up.

Ragno shuddered once from the thought, then again from her orgasm. Without taking her eyes off Michael, she pulled out her gun and pointed it at the teenager who had been staring at her.

"If you value your eyeballs, or any of your other balls, you will keep walking and forget what you just saw." The young man adjusted his backpack and kept moving, a red blush on his face. Ragno hoisted herself higher in the tree, so as to be better hidden.

Sebastian sighed with relief as he sat down on the bench and waited for his plane. Things had been moving so quickly the past few days, he'd barely had a moment's rest. Why did John have to pick now, of all times, to disappear off the face of the earth? It would mean days of delay, dozens of fires to put out, and a hundred more headaches for Sebastian.

Sebastian heard a little girl crying near him. He'd always considered himself a very paternal man, and he hated crying. He stood and attempted to find the source.

A small girl, about eight or nine, and a man who who was too young to be her father, but obviously related. The man knelt in front of her and was trying to calm her down. Sebastian cleared his throat to get their attention.

"Hello, my name is Sebastian, and I'd like to show you both something."

He reached up and pulled his left eye out of it's socket and turned it so it was looking directly at the little girl. He donned a silly voice and thickened his accent. "Oh, hello! I didn't see you there!"

The child stopped crying and began to giggle. "Eww, gross!"

He wiped the eye off on his shirt "It is glass, here, you can hold it if you want."

She took the eye gladly and began to roll it around in her hands. Her guardian turned to him. "Um, Sebastian, was it? Hey, um, thanks for calming my sister down. We're heading out to visit our parents and she was scared of going on a plane."

"It is alright, my friend, I consider it my duty to help damsels in distress. What flight are you on?"

"119 to Japan."

"Ah, what a coincidence! That is the same flight I am on!"

"Well, we are at the same gate. If you don't mind me asking, why are you going to Japan?"

"Well, you could say that I'm visiting an old friend." The Dutchman's eyes became distant and he smiled.

"May I have my eye back now, sweetie?" Sebastian knelt down in front of the little girl and held out his hand. She gave it back to him. "Thank you very much. And do not worry, no matter what happens on that plane, if the pilot falls asleep, or if one of the engines blow out, or if we get attacked by flying tentacle monsters, I will make sure everyone is safe. Do you believe that?"

It wasn't childhood naivete that made her nod her head.

. . .

Honestly, I was a little insulted. I just took on four battle-airships, some sort of predator pony, and their fucking queen, and they act surprised when I snap their flimsy cuffs like a toy. I mean, really.

Oh yeah, did I mention the tall pony I fought was this 'Princess Celestia' character everyone's been talking about?

So I broke the cuffs, and the pones were trying to find a way to 'detain' me. Until then, no one was allowed within a few feet of me. So I found a nice piece of rubble to lay down on and maybe take a little nap.

Now that I was apparently no longer a threat, the gold-covered guards were a bustle of activity. Some were enraptured in the conundrum of my containment, whereas others were gathering the townspeople for some reason. Maybe they're having a party in celebration of the capture of the horrible beast.

Pony parties probably suck, with no booze and no drugs. The only fun part would have to be the sex, and I won't be partaking in any of that, no sir.

Twilight was as near to me as was allowed, but she didn't speak, at least at first. After a few minutes she initiated conversation. "Why did you do it?"

I opened my eyes and leaned up from my prone position. "Hmm?"

"Why did you save me? Save the town? The Princess told me what happened."

"Whatever." I laid back down. "Look, I saved you and the town, and reasons are unimportant. Just be happy about it, okay?"

"No, I can't just be happy about it, John!" She jumped up on my rubble and stood over me. "This morning, you could barely look at me, and so far, you haven't given me any reason to think you give a flying feather about me, or Ponyville, or anything at all! Argh, you're just so frustrating!"

I shot up and snapped at her. "I don't know, okay!? I don't know why I saved you! I don't know anything anymore!" I sat back down and reached for my cigarettes. I pulled out the box, only to find it empty.

"Well, that's just fucking great." I tossed the empty box aside.

Suddenly, Celestia. "Twilight, I suggest you step away from the human."

"Well, if it isn't Her Royal Highness. Come to gloat, have you?" Twilight hopped off my rubble and put some good distance between us.

"Actually, no. I think we both know that the victory does not go to me. In fact, I wanted to discuss the terms of your surrender." She looked curiously for my reaction.

"No terms. I don't have any demands, and I refuse any of yours. I just kind've figured there was no point in fighting when neither of us know what we're fighting about, am I right?"

"Yes, I will admit, I was a bit hasty in my attack, but you must understand: The only humans I've ever known were evil, greedy creatures. This is the first time I've ever actually been able to hold a civil conversation with one."

"I dunno, sister, it just seems like there's a whole lot of misanthropy going around on this planet. I'm not sure I like it." I closed my eyes and laid back again.

We were interrupted by one of the Goldiers. "Princess, the Elements and all of the witnesses have been gathered. We are prepared for the purge."

"Good. Twilight, when I say to look at my horn, do not." And with that, Celestia moved to the center of the marketplace and clopped her hooves to get everyone's attention.

"Ponies, of Ponyville, if you would, please direct your attention to my horn." They all did as they were told. I guess the Princess trained them well. Celestia's horn began to glow blue for a few seconds before flashing once, brightly.

I rubbed my eyes to clear away the blindness, and when I opened them, I noticed that the gathered ponies had gone all dead-eyed.

Celestia spoke loudly and clearly, making sure they all heard.

"The Human surrendered itself peacefully without any fighting. No guards and no battle airships were involved. The damage to your homes and businesses was part of a Human farewell tradition and will be repaired by the royal contractors within the week. You all had a good day today."

The light came back to the citizens eyes and they started to disband. Many of them were in a better mood than before. Celestia walked back toward me and Twi. I spoke before she did.

"Did you just deneuralize the whole town, Men-in-Black-style?"

"I erased their recent memories. I would erase you completely if I could, but unfortunately, the spell has a twelve-hour maximum. Luckily for you, I left their feelings toward you neutral. You will have to earn their trust, just as you will have to earn mine." She noticed the guards bringing out a large, heavy-looking pillory, obviously with me in mind.

"You can start by answering this question honestly: Will it be necessary to restrain you while we travel to Canterlot?"

"That depends, sister: Am I a guest, or a prisoner?"

"I recognize that your aggression was an act of self-defense, but your species has done terrible, terrible things to mine. I will explain further when we arrive at the castle, but until then, I will be wary of you. If you do anything to lose the tenuous trust you created when you gave yourself up, I will react accordingly. Do you understand, Human?"

I turned around and looked behind me. Then I looked back at her, frowning. "I'm sorry, are you talking to me? Because I don't know any guys named 'Human'."

She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Do you understand, John?"

"That's better." I grinned. "Yeah, I'll be good, but first, I just remembered that I have a promise to keep."

. . .

I fetched my basilisk skin bag from the tree it was hidden in.

"John, what are you doing?" The Princess was a little ticked about the delay. "Is that a basilisk?"

"Basilisk skin. A little souvenir from helping a friend of mine. Speaking of which..." I cupped my hands to my mouth.

"FLUFFY! DADDY'S HOME!"

As expected, the Persian monster charged out of the forest like a bat outta hell. He tackled me to the ground and started licking me furiously. I started to wrestle with him playfully. I always kinda wished I could have a lion or a tiger as a pet when I was a kid. I suppose this is close enough.

Fluffy jumped off me and wagged his giant scorpion tail, grinning like a moron.

"What? Whazzat? Fluffy wants a treat?"

He roared and clamped onto my leg. I laughed. I love this guy already.

"I'll take that as a 'yes!'" I reached into my bag and pulled out some of the pre-cooked basilisk meat. "Can you catch for me, buddy? Go get it!"

I tossed the chunk into the air and Fluffy leaped twenty feet in the air to catch it. He fluttered back to the ground and nuzzled me, having eaten the entire chunk in a single bite. I scratched him behind the ears.

"Daddy's gonna have to go away for a while, okay, buddy?" He half-whimpered, half-growled, and glared at Celestia and her guards. "Easy, boy. I just gotta have a nice, friendly chat with the nice Princess. Can you be a good boy until I get back?"

He licked me from my neck to the top of my head, then ran back into the forest, which I took as a yes. I turned back to Celly. "Well, that's my last loose end. So, where're we going?"

"How in the sun's name did you manage to tame a Manticore?!" For the first time, Celestia seemed genuinely surprised for the first time I'd seen her. "To tame a True Monster like that... you'd have to be..."

"It was kind of easy, actually. I just pulled his ass outta the fire yesterday, and now the little guy can't get enough of me." I tied the basilisk skin shut and wrapped it around me. It was actually kind of cool, the material was really strong, and really convenient; I just stuffed what I needed to carry in the bottom and then tied the rest around me like a sash.

Celestia shook her head. "Moving on, we will be going to Canterlot. We have many things that I would prefer to discuss in private. Also, I have a task for you. We will discuss it further when we arrive at the castle."

. . .

"Well, girls, I guess I've gotta be going. Fluttershy, make sure Fluffy doesn't eat anybody important. Spike, RD, AJ, I'm counting on you guys to take care of my girls until I get back, got it?" It had become obvious to me that these guys and gals were a group. They seemed to be together whenever something important was happening.

I did plan on coming back. Fluffy was here, and Ponyville had some significance as the place I'd arrived in Equestria. With luck, whoever sent me here would be back to receive their beating.

I waved goodbye to the guys and gals who'd become my good acquaintances, and realized that Red wasn't among them. I felt a little twinge for some reason.

I stepped on the train and it lurched sideways on it's track. Even on Earth I weighed a lot for my size, plus my null-magic field cause many things to stop functioning, which was why I couldn't use a pegasus carriage or a blimp.

So train it was. The car was empty, so I picked a random seat and reclined in it. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

. . .

"That will be 1200 yen, sir."

Sebastian paid for his meal and checked his watch. The prison transports ran like clockwork, his window would be very small. The Operative left the noodle shop, then swung around the corner. Jumping up to catch hold of a sign, he kicked his legs and vaulted up to a fire escape. He then climbed to the roof of the building, and waited.

In exactly ten seconds, a large, reinforced van would turn and drive down the street. It would move quickly but still manage to follow the law to the letter. A full second after that, the driver of said van would hear a soft, almost imperceptible thump, as if a cat had jumped onto the roof. Too many late nights at the bar, he would guess.

The van pulled into the Nigeba Nai prison's hangar. In less than five seconds, two men would enter to inspect the van for stowaways, and in at least thirty seconds, one of the guards would check his pocket, only to find his key card no longer there. However, by that time, Sebastian would be long gone.

Halfway across the prison, actually. He would incapacitate all three of the guards in his way, then use a SkeletonKey to get through the door to the cell control bay. He would open Cell 0124, then make his way there.

Soon after he did all these things, Sebastian opened the door to 0124. The room appeared to be empty.

"Stop playing games, Echo, I'm here to retrieve you."

A voice came from the corner. "If you're here on Big Man's agenda, I think I'll stay where I am, thank you very much. These bars aren't just to keep me in."

"I retired, Echo. This is purely personal."

"Personal..."

"Of course. Johnathan has disappeared, and I need all of the help I can get."

"I want a good meal and a proper bed."

"Deal. I know just the place."

. . .

Spike and the girls watched the train pull away with the human on board. Rainbow Dash turned to Applejack and asked the question that had been bugging her since she'd met the strange creature.

"Does he think that we're colts?"

Author's Note

End of Arrival arc

The title is ironic because this is a filler chapter.