Fratermutis broke the silence. He allowed a grim smile. "Have you come to kill us all, Little Star?"

She snorted softly, like a laugh that didn't quite make it.

"No, I've come to make you all beg for death. We'll see how I feel after that."

Then, several things happened at once.

The Dwarf hefted his hammer above his head and charged Celestia, bellowing Nirine's name. The minotaur and the centaur both hesitated a moment before emulating him, splitting off to either side to surround her.

Celestia's dual scissor blades whipped from their scabbards, spinning like saws. One spun toward the minotaur and barely missed his head, neatly lopping his remaining horn off close to his skull. He barely had time to bellow protest when the blade spun back and decapitated him. The other blade had gone in the direction of the centaur, and she caught it on her sword. The blades stuck for a moment, before Celestia grunted softly, and the scissors halved the bronze blade like paper. The horse-woman danced back from the spinning death trap, dodging once, twice, before the blade darted down and separated her human half from her horse half. They both fell to the ground spewing blood, and somehow, the horse body continued huffing and kicking long after the human half had gone limp.

The Alicorn herself met the dwarf's charge head-on, as in literally blocking his blow directly with her forehead. She deflected his attack to the side and continued the spin, to buck him with her heavy war-hooves. He caught one in a meaty fist, though by the cracks she'd broken every bone in it. Her free hoof smashed into his face again and again, and finally she kicked free and the dwarf fell, his brain clearly visible between the cracked plates of his skull.

"You're running out of slaves to die for you, Humans."

The Wyvern swooped down and landed before her. The little white donkey was clinging to his back. "If dying for your family is slavery, then I will call myself a slave and be proud. Now, Pedronus!"

The Donkey grunted and a glowing red blade of magic extended from his horn. He stabbed it into the back of the wyvern's neck, and the creature inflated like some grotesque balloon animal, his neck and body thickening and lengthening, rips forming and glowing with magic. The wyvern cried out and something internal gave, his reptilian body was torn though like a shed skin, hanging loosely from whatever being had materialized within. Fire spurted from the tears, and the behemoth swayed drunkenly, like a puppet missing strings.

Pedronus still rode on the glowing creature's back, and like before, he shouted an accusation with deep, booming command. "CELESTIA GALAXOS-UNIVERSA, HIGH PRINCESS OF PONYKIND, SUPREME LEADER OF THE HOOVED PEOPLE, VESSEL OF HARMONY, TAMER OF DISCORD, AND SHE WHO RAISES THE SUN, YOU HAVE COMMITTED TERRIBLE CRIMES AGAINST THE FELLOW INHABITANTS OF YOUR PLANET, INCLUDING THE HUMANS AND THEIR KIN, THE SHADOW DWELLERS, DRAGONKIND, SPIRITKIND, THEY WHO WALK ALONE, AND YOUR OWN PEOPLE. YOU HAVE KILLED AND DESTROYED WAYS OF LIFE AND ENTIRE CIVILIZATIONS, THOSE CLOSE TO YOU AND ACROSS THE EDEN. AS RECOMPENSE FOR YOUR ACTIONS, I, PEDRONUS THE SHREWD, PRINCE OF NOTHING, SON OF NESTORUS, THE LAST KING OF THE DONKEYS, SENTENCE YOUR BODY AND SOUL TO BE CONSUMED BY THE BEAST-OF-THE-INFERNO PAINTRAIN THE FIREBRAND."

Again, a kind of not-voice scratched at the base of my skull.

Is it hot in here or is it just me?

The shed Wyvern skin snapped taut and pillars of fire exploded from the tears. A pair of bright nodes where there used to be eyes cast a bright light on Celestia.

Here's where I make a joke about fighting fire with fire.

"Pedronus... What have you done? What have you unleashed?" Celestia clearly gaped behind her stoic helmet, backing away. I agreed. I would not have liked to fight that thing.

"Do whatever it takes to kill her, Paintrain," was the little white donkey's reply.

Sure thing.

The fire-balloon-wyvern-corpse-demon moved with ridiculous speed for something so large. Celestia seemed to have a difficult time reacting, let alone trade blows with the demon, so she streaked away in the opposite direction. Any time she would seemingly gain some distance, it would just speed up, as if it wasn't affected by the rules of our reality.

Finally, she rocketed up into the sky, seemingly trying to draw him away from the city or into space or something. Which was disappointing, because after a few moments, even the massive form of Paintrain shrank to a nearly-invisible speck.

Then it exploded.

The fireball took up a greedy spot in the sky, dwarfing a thunderhead approaching from the west. After a few seconds, the cloud shuddered, then began drifting in the other direction, as if it had been scared off by the detonation.

It took nearly ten seconds for the sound to hit us. It rippled through the air like a physical wave, though all that reached the Royals was a strong, hot wind, and a soft whistling noise, like a tea kettle left on too long.

"Are they..?"

"So much energy, I can feel my aura tingling. Surely the demon self-destructed to fill his charge." Lex shook his head, before his youngest sister attracted his attention. "What's wrong, Vita?"

Sororevita clutched her breast, breathing heavily. She seemed barely able to form words. "She is still alive!" she cried.

Lex looked up again. "That's impossible! Paintrain is a level ten malevolent entity, he is the fires of Tartarus! He should've chewed her up and swallowed her, then washed her down with a few thousand mortal souls! How could she have killed him and survived? She's just a child!"

Vita shook her head. "We were blind, Lex. We draw our power from the people, the collective soul of humanity. We are strong when they are strong. We were fools to think she was the same. I see it now, Lex, it's backwards. The ponies draw their power from the Alicorns, the Alicorns draw their power from the gods. And now the gods are angry."

Realization dawned on Lex's face. "We thought that by destroying her subjects, we would make her weaker, but we were only focusing her power, funnelling it. Huma help us all."

There was a small flash of teleportation, and Celestia joined us once again. Her body and armor were intact and her eyes were closed. Around her body, a sort of spectral afterimage glowed, tendrils of light whipping around randomly. Several tendrils held a small white donkey tightly in their grip. He struggled against them, swearing inaudibly. The tendrils whipped, and the donkey spun away, landing several miles in the distance. A thick orb of gold surrounded her, and some kind of simplified pony made of light whirled about her, it's edges blurred by a corona of energy. For a second, the entity looked at me and I felt a chill. Could it see me?

It looked away, at the Royals, and narrowed it's light-eyes. Then it merged with Celestia, and her eyes opened. They were flat gold, glowing with energy, like Twilight's had not so long ago. Celestia's own voice echoed in my head. Her emotions have taken control of her powers.

The voice was totally unlike the demons, which had been dark and subtle. This one was bright and keening, layered over Celestia's in my head, even though her lips didn't move. The entitie's power could be glimpsed through the connection, and it was so vast that it actually hurt a little.

Your god cannot help you now. You have hurt my children. You have made a mess of my home. You will be punished.

The four royals gaped at her. Pedronus flew close again, the waves of power rolling off him were massive, but nothing compared to the god's. It spoke to him.

Do not interfere, child. You meddle in matters you cannot even begin to understand.

"HOW DARE YOU! I AM THE LAST OF THE ONALLOCORNS, HEIR TO THE FALLEN KINGDOM OF JAKASINUS! MY FATHER WAS NESTORUS THE TITAN, THE LAST GOD-KING OF THE DONKEYS, MY MOTHER MARINAIA-OF-THE-SIREN-SONG! I STOPPED BEING A CHILD THE DAY YOUR FATHER KILLED MINE, AND NOW YOU DARE TELL ME NOT TO MEDDLE?! I'LL SHOW YOU MEDDLING!

A charge of pure white magic gathered at the tip of Pedronus' horn; clearly putting into it everything he had, it released as a giant, white-hot orb, careening at Celestia with extreme speed.

One of her light-tentacles whipped out and caught the ball gently, cupping it like a baby. She held it up to the light as if to inspect it.

An impressive charge, considering how little of my essence lives within you. But you are still mine, Pedronus, no matter how much you wish it was not so.

She wrapped the titanic ball of energy in her tentacles, compressing it. When she opened them, a living dove fluttered out, circled her once, then flew away. She watched it for a moment, seemingly entranced. Pedronus stomped his hoof, roaring, gouging a hole in the earth.

The god's glowing eyes snapped back to him, and narrowed in anger. With sudden violence, her tentacles whipped out again, wrapping around his neck and hooves, pulling him off the ground. His wings flapped powerfully, churning wind, but he was no match for her.

"No! Let go of me!"

You are a child, ignorant and blind. Your father was warned, if his people rebelled again, they would be exterminated. For their sake, it is fortunate you are not their king.

Her appendages snapped down again and again, slamming the jack brutally into the dirt, again and again. I lost count how many times. Finally, after an eternity, she stopped. The little broken donkey hung limply, but his eyes burned brightly with hatred, and he still struggled against the unbreakable light bonds. I was surprised he was still conscious; she'd dug down to the bedrock with his body. He spat soil, teeth, and silver blood.

"Is that... all you've got? C'mon... I'm not dead, yet! Let's... let's go again..."

The god ignored him. Her appendages went taut, racking the jack. He grunted, and I could hear his abused skeleton straining, crackling against itself. Consider this a reminder.

His right wing tore from it's socket with a sickening squelch, and finally Pedronus screamed, first high with agony, then trailing off into a low keen of despair. Then he sobbed, once.

While Celestia had been distracted punishing Pedronus, the Royals had taken position. Now they struck.

"Leave him alone!" Fraterlex leaped up and swung his hammer in a high arc over his head. The dark head, enlarged to nearly the size of a fridge, collided with the sphere surrounding Celestia...

...and stopped dead.

"...Impossible..."

The god giggled girlishly and swung a tentacle at him. He blocked with his hammer, rocking backward on his heels, and like an oiled machine, Mutis and Vera took his place, scythe and shovel spinning in unison. Lex fell back and asked his youngest sister seriously, "Vita! What manner of sorcery is this? We should be cutting through that shield like butter!"

The youngest royal shook her head again, "I don't know! It looks like she's just... absorbing our auras, like no matter how much of her magic we negate, there's more to take it's place. Could her power be limitless? Is that possible? This is unreal..."

Lex stared at his siblings attacking the pony-god, and his eyes hardened as she giggled again. She was playing with them.

"Brother, if we opened the Ley Gates... the power of the people... we could..."

"No. It cannot come to that, not again. We will defeat her together or not at all. ROYALS! TO ME!"

Mutis and Vera flipped out of Celestia's reach, joining their brother. The Royals joined hands in a circle, grasping each others weapons.

Gravity

Time

Light

Life

When the void comes, we will meet it.

Together.

WE ARE ROYAL. WE ARE HUMAN.

Chunks of earth began to break free, twirling like planets in orbit. Time stopped.

The god giggled again, which was cut short when a thick, dense beam of energy shot from the group and collided with her sphere. The beam began to slowly cut through the shield, until she focused her tendrils of light into a similar beam, beating it back. They pushed against each other, unstoppable forces meeting immovable objects.

Celestia won.

The Royals were bowled apart like pins. She pounced.

Enough.

The royals seemed only slightly fazed. The oldest and youngest took their turn distracting Celestia, Lex dealing heavy blows with his hammer, Vita darting in to block any returned by the alicorn.

"Brute magic isn't going to win us this one, brother." Fratermutis spun his scythe, breathing heavily. "We need an alternate strategy."

As he said this, Vita missed her parry, and a spear of light cut through her stomach.

All four Royals cried out together.

Vita fell back, clutching her midriff. Vera, wasting no time, leapt back into the fray, but the god, heartened by her successful blow, redoubled her efforts. "Tis! A little help, please?"

A whip of light struck Vera across the face, lifting her off the ground and spiraling her into the air. Another whip snapped into Lex's crotch with an audible crunch, rocketing him twenty feet straight up.

Enough. I tire of this.

Lex got almost a full second of hang time before painfully hitting the ground. "Speak for yourself," he grunted, an octave higher than before. He cleared his throat. "Royals! Fall back to the cliffs!"

The Royals split in different directions, and Celestia seemed unsure of which one to follow. The humans took full advantage, disappearing into the mountainside. In my memory-specter form, it was not difficult to follow.

They met in a little cave with trinkets strewn about and child's drawings on the walls.

Tis kicked one of the toys softly and chuckled. "Remember these?"

Vera smiled and gestured at the walls of the cave, pointing out one in particular, depicting four human stick figures holding hands in a circle around a stick-pony with wings and a horn. "Remember this one?"

Vita giggled, clutching her stomach, her injury apparently only minor. "She made us sit still for almost an hour, and look how it turned out...."

Lex ran a finger down the drawing, almost tenderly, his eyes lingering on the stick-pony in the center.

"Well, you know what they say about old friends; they make the most bitter enemies."

"What in Tartarus are we going to do?"

"The Eye is watching New Huma. The government, the aristocrats, the last of the factories and the farms, those are all going to be essential if we survive, and if we don't, they'll be that much more important."

"The Eye's gaze stays where it is. The nukes are primitive and slow, not to mention dirty and spiteful, barely worth the thought. We only have one option, the Ley Gates. We can open them and fuel our attack with the fear and anger of twenty billion human souls. "

"Boys? I don't know about you, but I've never done this before. How can we be sure it will work?"

"We can't, Vita. All we can do is try to follow in Dad's footsteps, and hope we're strong enough."

Lex took Vera's hands in his. "Even if we live through this, we won't be the same when we come back."

I decided to go outside. I walked out of the cave, and the demon-Celestia was still searching, casting some sort of scanning beam from her horn. It was probably only a matter of time until she found them.

"Hey!" I yelled, waving my arms at her from the mouth of the cave. She didn't turn. I guess she can't see me.

A blast of white light shot from the cave, streaking towards the god-pony. It collided with her with far more force than any of the blows she'd recieved earlier.

This just seems to piss her off.

Vera, Avatar of Light and Truth, seemed to have taken the form of a living corona of photons, vaguely female-shaped. I had trouble looking directly at her. She moved instantaneously, striking faster than even my eyes could see.

Next came Tis, Avatar of Change and Time. His form appeared to be a rip in space-time, and he didn't so much move as shift, appearing suddenly on the battlefield and phasing in and out of visual range.

Vita, Life and Growth, also seemed to have a shifting form, first appearing as some sort of fleshy wolf, but as she got farther from the cave, her form reshaped itself into a winged serpent. She spat fire and magic in a rainbow of colors, trailing it behind her as her speed blurred her.

Finally, Fraterlex, Justice and Penance. He was a swirling black shadow, and as he passed, his aura tore chunks of stone and detritus from the land around him, and they began to orbit him, curling in on themselves to form tiny planetoids.

The four abstract concepts began to circle Celestia, increasing in speed until they blurred together into a ring of whirling color. Seemingly in response, Celestia's light grew more intense, until my poor mortal eyes could barely make out what the fuck was happening.

There was a loud tearing noise that came from everywhere and nowhere. I couldn't grasp the true nature of Celestia's attack.

If this whole thing hadn't been some sort of spectral vision, the flash would have burned my eyes out, and in all likelihood, I'd be dead. The next parts, I didn't so much see as feel. I sensed the death of the Royals as I knew the rest of humanity had.

The youngest, Vita, died first. Celestia's magic swallowed her, burning and corrupting her, drowning her. Her essence was already weakened from witnessing all the death that day, and when it came in contact with Celestia's hate and rage, and the death within Celestia's own heart, it simply wilted and died, like a spring flower killed by an unexpected frost. She died without a mark on her.

Vera died next, her light burning bright against Celestia's, until the two were hard to tell apart, and then I realised that I couldn't tell them apart. Celestia's immortal soul had burned Vera's out, like two wildfires clashing.

Fratermutis fought valiantly, but he was his own undoing. She somehow faked him out and sent him in two directions at once, his own power over time tearing him into pieces.

Fraterlex tried to kill her by sacrificing himself, imploding on himself and trying to suck her in.

It didn't work.

There was a sort of reality-snap as normal physics sprang back into place like a rubber band. At that point I realized how close this fight had come to tearing the very fabric of the universe apart.

Colors returned and I saw that Celestia still hovered over the battlefield in god-form. The bodies of the Royals fell where they would rest for the next six thousand years, the security systems in their weapons taking over to preserve their masters.

My spectral self began to dissolve. My last glimpse of the memory was Celestia's face. It's hard to read horse emotions, but I swear she was crying.

My feet hit the wood floor of Dirty Mike's as they had before. I stood, numb for a moment.

I poured myself another drink.

"Now do you understand, John?"

I looked at Lex, dumbfounded. "Fuck no, are ya goofy?"

Lex and his companion, who he still hadn't introduced, facepalmed simultaneously.

"Well, allow me to clarify; My mother was murdered and my father went into a depression that lasted several hundred years. In that time, my siblings and I initiated a cleansing war against all non-human inhabitants of Eden. That may sound awful to you, but similar wars have been fought on Earth, against far more human opponents. We killed their leaders, hoping it would topple their civilization, but we overlooked one detail. With her dying breath, Celestia's mother hid her and her baby sister in the Ethereal, a dimension of pure, endless magic that Humans are physically incapable of entering. My theory is that she and her sister absorbed so much ambient magic in the Ethereal that they became tied to it, and capable of tapping into it's magic at any time. We'd created our own worst enemy; a creature capable of tapping into enough magical energy to overload even a Royal's aura."

"Ok, I got that much. Get to the part that actually has something to do with me."

"I'm getting there. Celestia organized the last of her race into a formidable fighting force, and like so many global takeover attempts, our forces were spread thin. She didn't even bother trying to take her country back, she headed right for Canterlot with a thirst for Royal blood. You just witnessed the results of that."

"Yeah, you got your asses kicked."

"I guess I couldn't have said it better myself. After we died, Father had no fight left in him. He surrendered with no terms and used the Meridian we'd built in Canterlot to take the rest of Humanity to the nearby seed-world that would eventually become Earth. I have no memories beyond that. Gravic preserved my memories within himself, in the hope that humans would one day return to Eden. Fraterlex would be pleased to learn that they have. This planet is the closest thing humanity has had to a home since Huma was destroyed. You are the reincarnation of Fraterlex, and by claiming Gravic as your weapon, you've activated the Royalty genes hidden within you. You will be the vanguard to our return."

"What if I don't wanna?"

"Then you're a fool, and you'll be sorely disappointed. Even creatures as powerful as us are still slaves to providence. Or did becoming stranded on an alien planet of magical horses figure into your plans somehow? If so, I'd love to hear it."

"Point taken. I still don't understand a lot of this, in fact, I'm taking this remarkably well for someone with no prior knowledge of what's going on, so I'm just gonna take this opportunity to ask you a few qustions. First, if you're dead, then how are you talking to me, and a follow-up question, who is this and why is he not talking to me?"

"I am what you would call a 'ghost,' basically, I'm a dead creature with no soul whose memories are being sustained by an alternate power source, namely Gravic, which brings me to your next question, this gentleman is Gravic's representation of himself in your mind. He can't talk because he's a hammer, duh, but he has to be here because his life force is sustaining me. As far as memories go, I have nearly Lex's full life other than unobtainable natal memories, but I have none of his personality or morals. We built this astral plane to have a true conversation with you, and to explain a few things."

"Well, you've explained it, and I don't really care. Fuck you and your stupid ancient war, fuck Eden and all it's bullshit, and especially fuck Celestia. I want to go home, drink a beer, smoke a cig, and go to sleep in my own bed and not wake up. I definitely don't want to get involved in any ancient prophesies."

"Well, get over it. If you'd take a moment to think, you'd realize that I'm not particularly invested in your actions, I'm dead. I don't even have a soul. So, listen up, if you want to go back to Earth, you'll have to re-activate the Earthen Meridian, and to do that, you'll need the treasure hidden within the Canterlot Vessel. That's the sealed bunker Celestia was talking about. The Meridian will open a Ley Gate between Earth and Eden, allowing humans to travel back and forth instantaneously. Your return to Earth will spark attention, and soon enough, humans will be flooding back to this planet in droves. If you truly wish to return home, our goals are one and the same."

I sighed, feeling helpless for the first time in a long time. "Fine, If that's all you want me to do, I'll do it, but I'm not happy about it. I seriously just wanna go home. Anything else is secondary to me."

"I'm a fucking ghost, I can't be happy about anything. I'm just telling you what Lex would tell you."

I shook my head, at a loss and still extremely confused. "This isn't really a solution, Casper, I'm not exactly much closer to my beer and cigarette. Celestia isn't just gonna let me walk into the place, especially if she knows what I plan to do."

"I don't mean to sound indifferent, but that's not really my problem, is it? Oh wait, nevermind, I did mean to sound indifferent. Be creative, you're a Human, and a Royal, I'm sure you'll figure it out. In the mean time, feel free to take advantage of this simulation. I believe the beers are where they were, and you'll find the cigarettes in their usual spot as well."

I narrowed my eyes at him, grabbing three beers from the fridge and snagging the pack of cigarettes from the drawer. I lit one and cracked one, handing the other two to the other two. "So, what happens now?"

"We can just hang out for a while, if you want. I will dissipate when this simulation ends, and time is doesn't exist here. You will be returned to Eden, and your mission will begin. In the mean time, wanna watch the game?"

"Yeah, actually. I'd like that."

. . .

Brain: Well, that was wierd.

Mouth: This beer tastes like dreams.

(Door opens, DNA enters)

Brain: Officer on deck!

DNA: At ease. We just got a private communication from outside. I have orders to activate the Royalty protocol.

Brain: The Royalty protocol? I wasn't informed.

DNA: Neither was I, but apparently it's a thing. Do you remember all that extra equipment they installed back when we were in wet dock? Apparently, this is what that's for. (Hands Brain a thick folder of documents) And I thought we were already non-standard; We're supposed to double structural support and efficiency, increase brain function, metabolism, the works.

Brain: (Eyeing the documents shrewdly) Well, I guess we better get to it.

Author's Note

I hate this chapter (and the previous one to an extent), I hated writing it and reading it isn't a treat either. But unfortunately, I felt it was necessary, and now it's finally fucking done, so I can get back to the good part.
I sincerely apologize for making you sit through the previous ten thousand words, we may now return to our regularly scheduled programming.