Shadow's Tail: A Dark Hero

Shadow crawled out of his bed after another sleepless night. He felt extremely antsy after such an uneventful week. He had been craving a fight ever since he was asked to join the group to move a dragon. It upset him that he didn’t get a chance fight. There was a terrible storm the night before so Shadow went to check on his garden. Clyde was already fixing the grounds far better than Shadow could dream of doing himself. Several days passed and there was still no action. Shadow wanted adventure; he needed something exciting to get his mind off of things. That’s when Stony rolled up, “Hey, you wanna smoke some weed?”

Shadow nodded, “That’s something, I guess.” He rolled off of his favorite bench and they headed for the Smoke Room. Fluttershy, Treehugger, and Applejack were already waiting for them, “Wow, you guys spend more time in here than I have spent in my house the entire time I’ve had it.” The group laughed, but Shadow was being serious. They smoked and talked about the dragon encounter and Applejack’s sleepover. Stony jumped at the chance to nickname Fluttershy ‘Dragonshy,’ but the group preferred the nickname Shadow had given her earlier, ‘Stonershy.’

“Okay guys, my nickname is just as good, if not better, than Shadow’s” The group shook their heads ‘no’ in unison, or maybe it just looked that way because of how blazed Stony was. “Whatever guys, I’ll just go smoke in my room with people who love me, like Steven and Sage.”

The group looked confused until Shadow asked, “Who?”

Stony walked to the door and casually replied, “You know, Steven my stuffed sheep, and Sage my turtle.”

Treehugger squealed with excitement, “I love them. I'm going to come with you. The rest of you stay here, and have fun.” As she left Applejack and Shadow looked to each other and rolled their eyes. Fluttershy, who still didn’t know they’re dating, waved them goodbye.

Applejack mouthed to Shadow, “Should we tell her?”

Shadow shook his head ‘no’ vigorously, and mouthed back, “Unless you want to tell her.” Applejack grimaced and shook her head ‘no’ as well. They smoked and bullshited each other until nightfall. Shadow made his way to his bedroom as his two Pony friends left. He was willing to submit to his nightmares, simply because he didn’t want to hear Stony and Treehugger fucking all night long, but that didn’t happen. He tried ignoring the sounds, but they were so noisy Shadow had to leave to his Zen Garden to get some peace and quiet.

He stared up the sky as he did so often, “You’ve been staring at the sky quite frequently. Hoping to find answers? You know you can always ask me, but that doesn’t mean you’ll find the answers you’re looking for.”

Shadow continued staring at the sky, but knew who it was, “The Eternal Darkness is too long of a name. I’m gonna start calling you Ted, okay?”

Ted sat on the ground next to Shadow’s bench, “Why not. You may not remember any more, old-timer, but that’s what you called me when you were just a child.”

Shadow stared at the sky until the sun finally rose, “Might as well head into town. I’m not in the mood for Stony’s peculiar sense of humor.” Ted nodded, and then disappeared.

Shadow walked into town, but saw it was completely empty. He noticed Twilight getting yanked into Sugarcube Corner, so he casually walked on over and entered. The room was completely dark except for the few streams of light that entered through the window. Pinkie was singing some song about an evil enchantress, but Shadow thought it was horrible, so he walked over and peered out of the window. He saw a cloaked Zebra digging in the ground, “Well, this is boring,” he let out a heavy sigh, “She was right, I really should find someone new instead of moping.”

Twilight stopped listening to Pinkie to address Shadow’s statement, “Who told you to find someone new.” Shadow shrugged off her question, and headed for the door.

Pinkie zoomed in front of him and stopped him, “Weren’t you listening to me. She’s evil!” Shadow rolled his eyes at her, and saw a small yellow Pony sneaking out. She saw Shadow notice her and put her hoof over her mouth. Shadow winked at her in agreement. Then he heard a slightly annoyed Pinkie voice yelling at him “Who are you winking at mister?”

Pinkie went to turn around, but Shadow pulled her head so she was facing him. He looked deeply into Pinkie’s eyes, “You, stupid. Who else would I be winking at?”

Pinkie looked shocked and blushed, “Wh-what? Why?”

Shadow heard the tiny Ponies hooves disappearing, and pushed Pinkie away, “Because I like making Ponies feel special. I’m over it now.”

At that moment Applejack started panicking, “Apple Bloom? Where’s Apple Bloom?”

“You mean the little yellow Pony? Yeah, she left. I told her I wouldn’t rat her out, but meh,” Shadow shrugged as he said this.

Applejack got into Shadow’s face, “Why in tarnation wouldn’t you have stopped her?” She was clearly furious.

Shadow shrugged again, “I didn’t feel like it till now. Besides you can be angry or we can get, what was her name again? Applebutter? Applejack? No, that’s you. Applepie?” Applejack glared at Shadow with pure rage, but Shadow held his straight face, and wagged his tail happily.

“It’s Apple Bloom, you dirty varmint! Yer lucky I love mah sister more than I want t’ beat the livin daylights outta ya. Let’s go.” This time her outrageously thick country accent added to the effect. Shadow obediently fell behind her with the rest of the group, and kept an eye on her to make sure Applejack wouldn’t change her mind and kick the ever-loving shit out of him.

At this point Stony had somehow found them, “Hey guys, where are you dudes heading?”

Without taking his eyes off Applejack, Shadow addressed Stony “To get Apple Bloom. She ran off to talk with a Zebra, because she’s apparently the only Pony in this town who’s not incredibly speciesist. For a place that spouts about friendship and equality, they still have an awful lot of speciesism.” Applejack turned, and glared at Shadow as he stated this.

Stony stopped in his tracks, “Oh, you mean my zebra friend, Zecora?”

Pinkie Pie dashed into Stony’s face, “How can you be friends with her? She’s evil!”

Shadow nudged Stony, “He’s evil too, you just don’t know it.”

Stony looked up, “I wouldn’t say being a stoner is evil. Whether or not being a drug lord does, well, what does a king do that a drug lord doesn’t?”

Shadow patted his back, “Well, The king kills a lot more people. Everything else is kinda the same, kinda.”

Stony and Shadow ran to catch up with the group that had left them behind, “See, so who’s the real evil one?” Shadow pointed his tail at Stony. They were in a deep debate over what is truly right and wrong, and how to determine what is righteous and what is evil, when Stony bumped into the Ponies in front of him, and Shadow tripped over a branch. As Shadow fell, he got a big mouthful of a strange blue plant on the ground. He would have spit it out, but it tasted too good to waste, so he swallowed it. Stony laughed, “See, even Shadow knows. Spitters are quitters.” Shadow shrugged and picked up a few extra blue flowers. Zecora made some rhyme about the flowers, but Shadow ignored it and happily munched his flowers.

With Apple Bloom apparently found, the group slowly returned to their homes. Stony and Shadow walked through the corridor leading to their rooms. Shadow was upset that there was no fight, “Great, another uneventful day.”

Stony laughed, “I bet you won’t be saying that tomorrow.” Shadow gave Stony a curious stare, but Stony went to his room and closed the door. Shadow shrugged and did the same. The second his head hit the pillow, he fell into a deep sleep. He dreamed of drowning in darkness as he always did. He was confused on why he was sleeping, he never slept unless he wanted to, and he definitely didn’t want to this time. He tried forcing himself to wake up like he usually could, but he spent the night drowning.

Shadow jumped out of bed, covered in sweat. He heard the fibers of his hoodie ripping, “What?” He looked down and noticed his hoodie was stretched out and torn, with the tattered remains clinging tightly to his body. He walked over to the mirror, “Oh, Shit!” He stared at himself in the mirror. He just couldn’t believe it, “There’s no way, there’s just no fucking way!” He looked at his new taller, sleeker, body, his now much longer, silky smooth, blue hair, his regrown ram horns, his missing wings, and his long eyelashes. He poked the tips of horns next to his eyes, “Okay, only one way to know if this is real, or just a Stony prank.” He sat down, and took a deep breath. He looked down in between his legs, “NOOOOO!”

This wasn’t a prank. Shadow had actually turned into a female Drakonian. She looked back into the mirror, “Well things could be worse, I suppose.” For the first time she actually listened to her new voice, it was extremely feminine and had a very slight English accent, “I actually quite like the sound of this voice, it’s so elegant, so smooth, it’s almost sensual just to listen to. Oh dear Eternal what am I saying?”

Stony, hearing the loud and shrill screams, bolted into the room, “What’s wr… Ohhh fuck.”

Treehugger ran in behind him, covered in a sheet, “What’s going on? Oh, is this Shadow’s new girlfriend? No offense, but you could do way better than him.”

Shadow tried glaring and screaming something profane at Treehugger, but her mouth had a different idea, “Thank you for the compliment, but I do believe you are not aware of who I truly am.” Shadow paused and looked up, “Cheese and crackers!”

Treehugger walked over to Shadow with a confused look on her face, “You’re aura seems a little clouded.”

Shadow wanted to call her a stupid, fucking stoner, but couldn’t. Instead, she looked down at her and smiled, “Oh no, my dear. You see, I am Shadow, not his girlfriend.” She glared at the ground and began clenching her teeth together. Treehugger and Stony began rolling on the ground, laughing.

Stony nudged Treehugger, “You should’ve known who it was. Shadow can’t keep a girlfriend for more than one night.”

Shadow’s jaw dropped. She wanted to beat the ever-loving shit out of Stony, but she just couldn’t raise a claw to him, “Yes, quite hilarious Stony. I do ever so enjoy your witty banter.” She glared at the ceiling with pure rage, and shook her fist at it.

Treehugger approached Shadow as she vigorously waved her fist at the ceiling, “So you became a girl, and apparently can’t be mean or vulgar. Is there anything else wrong?”

Shadow turned to her and patted her head, “Well it appears as if I can’t lie either.” She wrapped her tail around her mouth and looked at the shocked Stony and Treehugger.

Treehugger and Stony looked at each other and grinned. Stony cleared his throat, “So are you the asshole who dirtied my room up?” With Shadow’s tail clenching her mouth closed, her head nodded vigorously.

Treehugger smiled, “No babe, we gotta, like, ask him some deep questions. We need to release the negative energy clouding his aura.” Treehugger reached up to put her hoof on Shadow’s chest, “Two roads diverge in a yellow wood. Do you take the worn down path, taken by many, or the one less traveled by?”

Shadow was surprised with the question. To her, it wasn’t that personal. Her tail loosened, and she thought for a moment, “I would make my own path, one far more beautiful than the others.”

Treehugger took her hoof off Shadow’s chest, and waved both her hooves in front of Shadow, “I can already feel your aura clearing. We must ask another question.” Shadow lowered her tail and smiled, “what do you regret most in the world?”

Shadow tried not to say anything, but she simply couldn’t, “I have swam in oceans of blood. I have looked deeply into the eyes of my enemies as the life slowly drained from them. I revel in the thought of when I will take part in the next bloodstained part of the world’s history. I have hunted species into near extinction, and walked on mountains of children’s corpses. However, I don’t regret any of that. My greatest regret is living so long that I feel numb to all the wrong I have done, but I had to do all of that to get here. My plans will come to fruition, no matter how much more wrong I must do. And trust me, there will be much more. Is that the answer you were looking for?”

Stony wasn’t surprised, but Treehugger looked on in complete horror, “No, no it wasn’t,” She turned to Stony, “I don’t think I can help him anymore. I-I need to get away from here.” With that she ran out of the house. Shadow and Stony could hear the door slam as she left.

Stony looked at Shadow with a completely relaxed face, “Great, you scared my girlfriend. Feel happy with yourself?”

Shadow turned to Stony with a blank face, “Not really, but I couldn’t stop myself from answering. It’s like all Drakonians are told when they are young, do not ask questions if you do not wish for the true answer.”

Stony rolled his eyes and turned around, “Yeah, but that was, like, a whole new level bro, or bruh. I’m not actually sure what to call you right now.” He started walking away, “You should try figuring out how to fix this while I calm down Treehugger.”

Shadow sat down and thought for a while, “What could have caused such a transformation? I bet Clyde would know. He’s very intelligent. What? I have to be nice to them if they aren’t even around me? Well fiddlesticks!” She stood up with a scowl and headed to Clyde’s Shack. When she finally arrived at the shack’s entrance she cleared her throat, and called out for Clyde in a beautiful sing-songy voice, “Oh, Clyde. I need your assistance.”

Clyde opened the door in a lab coat and goggles, “Oh, guten tag, fräulein. How may zhe good doctor be of assistance?”

He looked too happy in that uniform for Shadow’s liking, “Well I seem to have undergone some form of change recently, and I was wondering if you could be of any assistance.”

Clyde smiled, “Vell of course, zhe Shadow. I have been preparing my laboratory all morning vaiting for you. Please come in.” He opened the door wider, and stood too the side while waving her in.

Shadow cautiously entered, “How did you know it was me, Clyde?”

Clyde chuckled and led her to his basement, “Vell zhe Shadow, I vas taking blood samples again, and I saw zhe transformation happen in front of me. It vas marvelous.”

Shadow wanted to call Clyde a total freak, but said, “Oh my dear Clyde, it is quite rude to take something from others without their express permission, please refrain yourself from doing this any further.” Shadow had a sudden realization, “So I can express my displeasure, I just can’t be rude about it. I wonder if I can tell mean truths as well.”

Clyde turned on some lights which revealed a marvelous laboratory. It had just about every medical and scientific machine imaginable, “I have built zis under zhe grounds, fear not, it vill not harm any of zhe fauna. As for your question, does zis lab coat make me look fat?”

Shadow laughed, “Oh of course not dear. In fact I’d say you look marvelous.” She paused for a moment, “So was that a polite lie or the truth, and is it bad that I honestly can’t tell the difference anymore?”

Clyde got a terrible idea and was holding back his laughter as he addressed Shadow, “I do not know, but I have another question, if you had to, vich of your Ponyville friends’ vould you pursue romantically?” He raised his eyebrows suggestively as he said romantically.

Shadow compulsively answered, “I believe you mean in what order.” She tried to glare at Clyde, but instead smiled. Clyde was rolling on the ground in tears, “Yes, quite funny. Can we please continue the procedure that will revert me to my original form?”

Clyde, gasping for air, yelled out, “Yes, I just need zhe new blood samples.” Clyde led Shadow over to a chair next to some fancy machines. She had no idea what any of the devices were for, so she remained silent and sat down. Clyde was still laughing, but managed to draw blood without a single mistake, “Okay zhe Shadow, I vill test zis blood. I need you to go and do Shadow stuff elsewhere.” With that he pushed Shadow up the stairs and out of his shed. He slammed the door shut behind her, and laughed maniacally.

“Well how rude. Oh, well. I suppose I should check with Twilight as well. This might have been a magical change…. Why am I talking to myself? How long have I been doing this? I should shut up now. I’m shutting up now.” She had to ask Tidy to lower the drawbridge, but luckily he thought she was one of Shadow’s lady friends. She walked through the forest with a new perspective, literally. She was much taller, and could see everything from above. She walked through town in her tattered hoodie and felt an odd feeling. It felt like she was being watched. Her suspicions were confirmed when she heard several whistles as she walked past a construction site, “Huh, who knew I was extremely attractive as a woman?” Shadow felt good at how many compliments she was receiving, until some rude brown Pony with slicked back black hair slapped her on her rear. Instinctively, her fur went straight and the Pony dropped, “Oh my heavens, how rude!” She turned to the paralyzed Pony, “I apologize sir, you must not be aware of Drakonian biology,” She crouched down to meet the Pony face to face, “You see, Drakonian women have a natural defense mechanism. When startled or in dangerous situations, our fur becomes as sharp as razors, and becomes coated in a paralyzing toxin. You should be fine in a few hours though. Ta-ta.”

Shadow was pissed at herself. She should have done something more violent back there, not give him a stupid biology lesson. It seemed like the longer Shadow was a girl, the more affect whatever this is had on her. She couldn’t even glare at the ground anymore. It was simply terrible. He arrived at Twilight’s Library, and gave the door a few good knocks before Spike opened the door. He was laughing incredibly hard and wiped a tear from his eye, “Hello. What can I do for you, ma’am?”

Shadow smiled, “I’m here for Miss Sparkle, may I enter?” Spike already knew what this was and flopped to his back laughing. Shadow entered the library and approached a group of Ponies. They were his friends, but all of them suffered some terrible transformation as well. Rarity’s hair was out of control, Pinkie’s tongue was enormous, Twilight’s horn had E.D., Dash was crashing into everything, Applejack was mini, and Fluttershy actually seemed okay.

The group turned to him, and Twilight spoke, “I’m sorry Miss, were having a bit of crisis. Could you come back later?”

Shadow gave a short laugh, “It seems I’m not the only one to come under some sort of strange ailment. I could come back later, but I was hoping you could help me as well. You see, I am your dear friend Shadow.” The group turned to him in shock.

Dash burst into laughter, “Wait, you’re Shadow? You’re our Shadow? You’re a girl!” She laughed even as she crashed into several walls.

Shadow held her smile, “Yes, I am Shadow, and I am now a female. Also, for some reason I can not be rude and can only tell the truth.”

Fluttershy spoke up, which made Shadow realize what her problem was, “But that’s almost the exact opposite of our Shadow.” She had the voice of a blues singer.

Shadow inspected his claws, “I know. I feel absolutely terrible, but I’m more concerned with how all of you are doing. It truly looks as if you all are in a great deal of distress. Worry not; I have my best scientist on the case. We should all be our normal selves in no time.”

As she finished speaking Spike walked up to her, “Hey…Shadette, Clyde wanted me to give this to you.” He burst out in laughter once more.

Shadow lifted up the letter and read it. She didn’t understand all of it, but reported what she did find out to her friends, “My blood work revealed a strange toxin. It’s some kind of mixture between a non lethal poison and magic. Since Clyde is a donkey of science, not magic, he could not find a complete cure. I apologize for getting all of your hopes up. I hope this does not affect our friendship.” She looked at them with puppy dog eyes and they burst out laughing. From the corner of Shadow’s eye she saw Apple Bloom sneak off again, but this time, he saw the mini Applejack hop in her tail. Like last time Apple Bloom pulled her hoof across her mouth, and Shadow winked in agreement.

Shadow watched as Twilight and Spike looked for a book that would give them a clue. Spike came across a book labeled ‘Supernaturals,’ but Twilight shrugged it off as useless. It didn’t take long for the entire group, minus Twilight and Shadow, to conclude this was a curse made by Zecora. Finally Shadow spoke up again, “I think we should ask Applejack what she thinks.” The group agreed and looked around for her.

Twilight panicked, and shouted out, “Did somepony step on her?!” The group took to her panic and all checked under their hooves. Again Twilight spoke with panic, “Where’s Apple Bloom?”

The entire group turned to Shadow. Shadow gave them a hurt look, “I simply can not betray her trust, she asked me not to tell, so I shall not. That’s the curse speaking, but you could try asking a different question for the answer.”

Twilight thought for a moment, then asked Shadow, “Since you can’t tell us where Apple Bloom went, can you tell us where Applejack is?”

Shadow spoke compulsively, “She hopped into Apple Bloom’s tail so she could follow her to Zecora’s Hut.”

At the mention of Zecora’s name Stony popped his head through the door, “Oh, you mean my Zebra… wow, and I thought I got it bad.” Pinkie jumped to his face and tried screaming something, but it came out as a jumbled, spit-filled, mess, “Woah, Pink, say it don’t spray it.”

Spike shouted to Stony, laughing, “That’s what I said.” He stopped laughing and paused for a moment, “What do you mean you thought you had it bad?”

Stony walked in, “Doesn’t matter.” He walked over and sat next to Shadow, “How’s it hanging bro?”

Shadow tried rolling her eyes, but grinned instead, “It is going quite well. Actually I have a question. It seems that every Pony in this land has tried hitting on me in some way or another, so why haven’t you?”

Stony grew a somewhat worried face, “I don’t fuck with them Drakonian bitches, too many bad experiences.”

Fluttershy looked confused, so Twilight explained what she thought Stony meant, “He’s talking about the Drakonian race in specific, not all the women in that kingdom. Right?” Stony smiled and nodded in agreement.

Everyone but Stony, Twilight, and Shadow looked confused, so Shadow spoke up, “The kingdom is named after the original race that ruled it, the Drakonians. However, there are other races that live there, the Rockskin, the Angels, the Demonic, and the very endangered Draxe. Each race has a similar form to Ponies. The Rockskin lack mouths, their eyes are blank, their tails and body are scaly, and they are much bigger than the average pony. The Angels are small, winged, mask wearing, creatures, with sharp, lance-like, bone legs. The Demonic, well imagine a Pony and a cat had a child, that’s them. The Draxe are large reptilians, they are hairless, fire-breathing, and nigh immortal. Then there are my people, the Drakonians. We used to go by other names, but for now we should probably go find the missing apples.”

It seemed that with the brief discussion on Drakonian species, the entire group forgot their panic, but that was quickly brought back with Shadow’s last statement. Twilight spoke again, “He... Uh, she’s right. We need to find them, but where could Zecora be?”

Stony answered, “Probably in her hut. I know where it’s at if you, like, want me to take you there.” The group nodded and urged Stony to be quick. They all followed him through the dangerous forest, sprinting as fast as they could. They even left Dash behind when she crashed into a tree. Finally Stony and the group stopped next to a straw hut in a small clearing.

Shadow looked around, “This… This is on my property.”

Stony poked her, “Yeah man, but it’s like, right on the edge. So it doesn’t really count.”

Shadow gave him a smile, “Yes my dear, it actually does.”

Shadow and Stony were having a polite conversation about property boundaries while the others were peering through the window. What finally broke up Stony and Shadow’s conversation was the deep voice of Fluttershy, “She's an evil enchantress, and she does evil dances, and if you look deep in her eyes she will put you in trances. Then what would she do? She'll mix up an evil brew. Then she'll gobble you up in a big tasty stew. Soooo... Watch out.” It was sung in the style of beat poetry. Shadow thought it was pretty nice, so she snapped her claws happily.

Twilight looked back into the window, “Scary looking masks, confusing incantations, and a great big bubbling cauldron?” She let out a short sigh, “Everything is pointing to Zecora being... bad. Or... what if Zecora is just making soup?”

Zecora spoke up again, “Mmm! The perfect temperature for Ponies, I presume. Now, where is that little Apple Bloom?”

Twilight took a step back in shock, “Or... what if she's making Apple Bloom soup?!”

Shadow didn’t agree, but before he could say anything. Applejack and Rainbow Dash flew in through the door. Applejack yelled out for her sister, “I'm comin' for ya, Apple Bloom!” Rainbow Dash was screaming and smashing into nearly everything, “Whoa there. Easy, Rainbow Crash.”

Zecora kept shouting in Zebra and yelling “No!” in English.

Twilight jumped in, “What have you done with Apple Bloom?”

Zecora kept trying to speak, but with the carnage and constant shouting around her, she couldn’t get a word in. Finally, after her cauldron was tipped over, she yelled, “No! You know not what you do! You've gone and spilled my precious brew!”

Twilight yelled back in response, “We're onto you Zecora. I didn't want to believe that you cursed us, but the evidence is overwhelming!”

The Ponies took turns accusing her of what she had done to them. Finally it was Shadow’s turn, “I honestly don’t care about my transformation, gorgeous. Although I do love a good witch hunt.” Everyone paused to look at her, “Oh, don’t give me that look. I’m from a different place. This isn’t even the strangest thing that has ever happened to me, or if you’re all giving me that look because I called her gorgeous, remember, I do have to be nice.”

Stony looked to them, “It’s true guys, but back to the whole crazy, speciest, Pony, zebra hunt thing.”

Everyone returned their gaze to Zecora, who finally responded to their accusations, “How dare you! You destroy my home, destroy my work. Then rudely accuse me of being a jerk?”

“You put this curse on us, now you're gonna uncurse us,” Rainbow Dash screamed back.

Zecora gave the group a menacing stare, “It is unwise to venture down this road. Your actions will make my anger explode!”

Twilight returned her gaze, “Where is Apple Bloom?!”

With that Apple Bloom walked in, “Zecora! I think I found all the things ya asked for.” She looked around at the destruction the Ponies caused, “What in Ponyville is goin' on here?”

Applejack gasped and ran to hug her sister, “Apple Bloom! You're okay!”

Apple Bloom looked more shocked than happy to see her sister, “Why wouldn't I be?”

Twilight yelled to Apple Bloom, without taking her eyes off Zecora, “Because Zecora is an evil enchantress who cursed us and was gonna cook you up into soup!”

Zecora and Apple Bloom burst into laughter before Apple Bloom spoke up, “Oh Twilight. Did those silly fillies finally get in yer head? You know there's no such thing as a curse.”

Twilight turned to Apple Bloom, and condescendingly retorted with, “Apple Bloom, sweetie. You can't just stand there and tell me this isn't a curse.”

Apple Bloom cockily shot back, “This isn't a curse.”

Then Zecora spoke up, “If you will remember back, the words I spoke were quite exact.” Shadow tried remembering what she had said, “Beware, beware you Pony folk. Those leaves of blue are not a joke.”

Apple Bloom spoke up, answering even more questions, “It was a warnin'. About that blue plant. It's called Poison Joke.”

Stony faced the crowd, and cleared his throat. Then, in his best Zecora accent, answered the question on all the pony’s minds, “That plant is much like poison oak. But its results are like a joke.”

Applejack was still confused, and roared back, “What in the hay does that mean?”

Zecora walked over to Stony, and elbowed him. Then, in her best Stony impersonation answered again, “It means this plant does not breed wrath. Instead this plant just wants a laugh.”

Applejack was more confused now than ever, “Will somepony please talk normal?”

Finally Shadow spoke up, “I think what they’re saying is that when we ran in to save Apple Bloom, we ran into the poison joke.” He turned to Applejack, “All our problems are just little jokes it played on us.” She giggled and covered her mouth when she finished speaking.

Applejack wasn’t amused, “Little jokes?! Very funny.”

Shadow smiled at her, “Oh dear, it was just a joke. I am sorry if I made you a little upset.” She began giggling again.

The group began questioning her about her home and about the cauldron. Finally Zecora spoke up again, “Treasures of the native land where I am from. This one speaks 'hello', and this 'welcome'. The words I chanted were from olden times. Something you call a nursery rhyme.”

Twilight was in shock that she was actually wrong, “But the cauldron... The Apple Bloom soup?”

Apple Bloom spoke to Twilight in the same condescending tone Twilight used earlier, “Lookie here Twilight. That pot of water wasn't for me; it was for all these herbal ingredients. The cure for poison joke is a simple old-natural remedy. You just gotta take a bubble bath!”

Twilight’s shock only grew, “But I tried to find a cure in all my books, and I couldn't find anything. What book has this natural remedy?”

Zecora walked over to a shelf, grabbed a book with her mouth, and set it down in front of Twilight, “Here is the book, you see? Sad that you lack it in your library.”

Twilight’s shock turned into humility, “Actually, I do have this book, but I didn't look inside because the title was so... Weird. Supernaturals: Natural Remedies and Cure-alls That Are Simply Super. I...I... I'm so sorry, Zecora. I had the answer the whole time, if only I had bothered to look inside.”

Zecora smiled and chuckled, “Maybe next time you will take a second look, and not judge the cover of the book.”

Shadow walked over to Zecora, “Zecora? I would completely understand if you said no, but would you be kind enough to mix up another batch of the herbal bath, gorgeous?”

Zecora resisted Shadow’s charm, but answered, “Mix it up I certainly will. Yet I am missing an herb from Ponyville.”

Apple Bloom faced the entire group and smiled, “But whenever Zecora comes to town, all the shops are mysteriously closed.”

Twilight smiled, “Oh, well... I think we can help you with that.”

As the group walked through the forest Zecora whispered to Stony, “I know your lungs were filled with poison joke, I can make a cure for you to smoke.”

Stony whispered back, “Nah man, I like the new me a whole lot better.” Shadow was looking curiously at Stony, who saw her gaze, “Don’t worry about it man, or, like, woman. You’ll learn eventually. Probably in the next chapter of our life, man.” Stony chuckled to himself, and even though Shadow was not amused at all, she giggled too.

When they finally got into town the Ponies began barricading themselves inside like usual. Twilight walked to the store where the herb they needed was, and knocked. She had a short conversation with the Pony inside, before she opened her doors for the group.

It wasn’t long before the ponies were taking an herbal bath in Zecora’s remedy. Shadow stared down at the water, “I’m guessing bathing is the only way to cure this?” Zecora nodded. Shadow weighed her options, stay a polite, truthful, female for the rest of her life, or get in the water and possibly die as the man she once was. It didn’t take more than a second before she crawled in, but for the first time in Shadow’s life, she didn’t sink. It actually felt as if the water was trying to push her out. The Poison Joke really did make Shadow the exact opposite of her original self. She sunk her tail into the bottom of the tub to keep herself from popping out. Twilight was having Spike write a letter to Celestia, but Shadow felt too good to pay attention. Lotus was asking Zecora something, and then there was a panic to find Applejack. Shadow just let the water soak into her fur. It was so soothing. She heard her friends laughing, and saw they were all normal, but she herself felt no change, “Zecora, I do not mean to doubt your remedy, but I don’t believe it is working on me.”

Shadow whispered back, “I may, or may not have eaten the delicious flower. Is that bad?”

Zecora smiled, “You then must drink a full glass. Although not immediate, the effects will pass.”

Shadow looked to the water and dunked her head under. She was nearly gagging at just the thought of drinking this bathwater, but did so anyway. She took a few large gulps, and then resurfaced with a look of disgust, “OH, by the Eternal! That was the most retched thing I’ve ever tasted! When was the last time any of you filthy creatures bathed?!” She gasped with excitement, “Wonderful, even though my body and voice are the same, I can be rude. Fantastic! Now, before I return to my still far superior than all of you old self, I am going home. Far away from you whack jobs. Have a rotten day everyone.” With that, Shadow happily hopped out of the water, shook it everywhere, and left.

As she walked along the path home, she slowly felt herself returning to normal. She felt a certain organ returning, which made him more than happy. His horns dried up and broke off, turning to dust. His body slowly shrank to normal, and now he was drowning in the stretched and torn hoodie. He felt a slight pain in his neck, and then his sides. He stopped on the path, “And here comes the fun.” His sentence was interrupted by agonizing pain in his sides. Bones shot out from his sides, spraying black blood onto the trees and path. Black blood oozed from his body and slowly enveloped the bones. The blood slowly spread into the shape of his wings. All the blood turned into smoke and dissipated, but Shadow was still in serious pain. It felt like his stomach was filled with acid. He took a few more steps toward his home before collapsing on the ground.

When he finally came to, he was in his room, and so was Zecora. He tried moving but his body was weak. Zecora walked over to the bed, “In my homeland there is a prophecy, of a child you will now never see. I am now carrying that child, but listen close before you go wild. You are the true warrior of darkness, and if raised by you the child would be heartless. So, before you raise her to make my world a wasteland, I am going to make sure she is cared for in my homeland. She will be raised to love and care, that way; she will never be your evil heir.” With that she left, and Shadow fell unconscious once again.

When he woke up he was alone, “Well, you dumb Zebra Bitch, I’m sterile, so the Jokes on you.”