After various escapades through the castle, everyone returned to the table to begin the next round. Rainbow Dash had pretty much wiped out Twilight's entire supply of potato chips by bringing them into the room, but the purple mare didn't seem to mind. I figured she was too focused on making sure the pegasus didn't win, despite being behind her by 2.

As I drew the next black card, I prepared myself for what could be the highlight of the night. "When all else fails," I began, "I can always masturbate to _____." I instantly remembered the incident at my house earlier, where I thought I had offended the greatest 6 mares of all, when in all reality, they had been expecting it the whole time. It was a rather odd situation, but none of us were complaining, and I didn't think we'd be complaining about it in the days to come.

I forced myself out of my thought streak as I saw the sixth card being laid in front of me. "Okay, here we go," I continued.

"Wouldn't it be something if that card was played again?" Rainbow asked.

"Yeah, it would," I replied, "But what are the odds? Anyway, when all else fails, I can always masturbate to women in yogurt commercials." This made Discord laugh, but I was unamused. "Uhhh...No, thank you... When all else fails, I can always masturbate to the Harlem Globetrotters. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it right there. No way. When all else fails, I can always masturbate to a man in yoga pants with a pony tail and feather earrings. Geez, guys, come on!" I couldn't understand why nothing decent had shown up yet. "When all else fails, I can always masturbate to Dickbutt. What!? Do you guys think I'm gay or something!? No!" This card should have been fun to be the Card Czar for, but it was going nothing like I had anticipated. "When all else fails, I can always masturbate to a passionate Latino lover. There we go, that's better. When all else fails, I can always masturbate to...Judge Judy???" Once again, Discord began laughing hysterically. "Wow, guys, this didn't go as I thought it would. Who had a passionate Latino lover?"

"I did!" Cadance replied. For the first time ever, I was happy to see that card get out of my sight. To me, those were some of the worst results I had ever seen for that card.

Rainbow Dash soon took the next card and began reading it. "What would Grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?"

"I don't know," I replied, "Should we go ask Granny Smith?" This earned a few light laughs.

After less than half a minute, we were ready to keep going. "Let's see," Rainbow continued, "What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming? My first period. Well, she'd definitely find it disturbing, buuuuut...No. Robots who just want to party. I guess. Walking in on dad peeing into mom's mouth."

"Oh, gross! Not that card!" Discord exclaimed, his voice easily mimicking Rarity's, if she were a male.

"Boogers. Again, disturbing, but that's probably it. Throwing stones at a man until he dies. Probably not. A 12-way. There we go! That was perfect! Who had that?"

"This handsome draconequus!" Discord proclaimed as he snapped his fingers and brought the card over to his stack of Awesome Points with his chaotic magic.

As Twilight took the next card, I couldn't help but feel surprised at the fact that she was in last place. Given how the last game had gone, I'd figured she'd do pretty well. Still, we had quite a bit to go.

Soon, Twilight said, "Behind every powerful man is _____."

This was another card that I had had trouble with in the past. I could never understand it quite right, and therefore always gave the worst answer. Unfortunately, that was happening to me right now. "Mine's a throwaway," I said, not sounding real glad about it.

"Mine is, too," Luna replied.

"Same here," Cadance also said.

"Okay, here we go!" Twilight continued. "Behind every powerful man is Stockholm Syndrome."

"Oooooooooh..." Discord and I mumbled.

"Behind every powerful man is crippling debt." This earned laughs from practically everyone. "Behind every powerful man is being paralyzed from the neck down. Nah, that's too noticeable. Behind every powerful man is an uninterrupted history of imperialism and exploitation. I don't think so. Behind every powerful man is hope. Well, that's actually nice to know, for once! Behind every powerful man is a turd. Nnnnnnnnnah...Who had crippling debt?"

"That would be me, Twilight," Celestia said in her usual regal voice.

As Cadance looked at the next black card, she seemed to be confused. "Ummm..." she began, "Is there a word or name missing from this card?"

"What does it say?" I asked.

"As part of his contract, Prince won't perform without _____ in his dressing room."

"Oh, no," I replied, "Prince is a singer back in my world." I had to assume she thought there should be another name after 'Prince'.

"Oh, okay," Cadance replied, "Thanks!"

"No problem," I replied as I passed my card in.

"Well, shoot," Discord said, "Looks like I have to throw this one away."

"Don't bother putting it in, Discord," Rainbow replied, sounding somewhat overconfident, "This one right here's gonna win!" She then placed her selection in front of the pink princess.

"Okay, then," Cadance continued, "Let's do this. As part of his contract, Prince won't perform without one Ring to rule them all in his dressing room." This earned a laugh from Discord; I, however, was not really a fan of what she was referring to. "As part of his contract, Prince won't perform without assless chaps in his dressing room." This earned giggles from the other females in the room. "Prince won't perform without a box without hinges, key, or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid in his dressing room. I think it all depends on what type of golden treasure is in the box. Anyway, Prince won't perform without flesh-eating bacteria in his dressing room. Nah, that doesn't sound too good. Prince won't perform without Bill Clinton, naked on a bearskin rug with a saxophone." This immediately caused Discord and I to start laughing. Rainbow seemed to get a kick out of it, too. "Who's Bill Clinton?" Cadance asked.

"He used to be President where I live," I replied, "I think they made that card due to speculations that he was cheating on his wife with a female interim while in office."

"Ooooh...That doesn't sound pretty," the pink alicorn replied.

"Well, he got off the hook in the end."

"Oh..." Cadance replied, casually shrugging, "Okay. Anyway, Prince won't perform without scientology in his dressing room."

"Whoa..." Twilight jumped in, "That's a little much." I was glad she remembered what I had told her during the last game.

"Let's see..." Cadance said, looking over the cards, "I think I'll go with...Bill Clinton."

"Yes!" Rainbow happily exclaimed, "Oh yeah!" The pegasus was now 3 cards ahead of Twilight, giving her every possible reason to feel excited.

As soon as Rainbow had placed her fifth Awesome Point with her other four, Luna took the next card in the stack and asked, "And what did you bring for show and tell?"

As I looked at the 10 cards in my hand, I spotted one that could technically be considered a throwaway, but at the same time, I felt that any pony who could do magic would be able to understand it. I soon selected that card and slid it to the midnight blue princess.

"Everyone ready?" Luna asked. We all nodded. "Okay, then. And what did you bring for show and tell? A brain tumor." Pretty much all of us cringed at that bit of dark humor. "A time travel paradox."

"That sounds like something I would bring," Twilight mentioned.

"An endless stream of diarrhea." A few of us cringed at that, but Discord and Rainbow got a decent laugh out of it. "Willow Smith's relentless hair-whipping."

"Oh, please don't get me started on that song..." Discord groaned.

"Brown people. Probably not. And finally, Cards Against Humanity. Well, I think that was a nice note to end on. Who had this last card?"

"Me again!" Discord replied, happy to be tied for the lead.

"Aw, great..." Rainbow moaned.

"What's wrong, Rainbow?" I asked.

"It's nothing," she replied, "I just felt good having the lead all to myself."

"Ah. I see."

"Okay, let's see what's next," Celestia said. She then took the next black card in her magic and started reading it. "In his new action comedy, Jackie Chan must fend off ninjas while also dealing with _____."

"This 'oughta work," I said, sliding my card over to Celestia.

"Maybe, but this one's gonna win!" Rainbow replied.

"Oh, I beg to differ, Rainbow Dash," Discord said, slyly. He then gave his card to the white alicorn sitting to his right.

"Oh, you're not the one who's begging to differ, Discord," Twilight began as she floated her card over to her former mentor, "I am."

Cadance then giggled. "I hate to burst your bubble Twilight," she said, her white card surrounded by an aura and on it's way to Celestia, "But it's not you, either."

I then looked in Luna's direction. I figured she'd add to the mock competitiveness, but she had already given her card to her older sister and was awaiting the results.

"My, my..." Celestia began again, "This will definitely be interesting. Anyway, in his new action comedy, Jackie Chan must fend off ninjas while also dealing with rabies."

"Hmmm..." I murmured.

"Jackie Chan must fend off ninjas while also dealing with raptor attacks."

"Jurassic World sequel, I guess?" I asked no one in particular. Discord seemed to approve of my thought, though.

"Jackie Chan must fend off ninjas while also dealing with the way white people is. I don't think so. ...While also dealing with anal beads. Wait, what??" Celestia then began laughing hysterically. I knew that hidden among all her regal glory, she had been craving a comical event like this for over a thousand years.

A few others laughed along with Celestia before the Princess of the Sun continued. "...While also dealing with a sex comet from Neptune that plunges the earth into eternal sexiness." She then giggled to herself. "That could be interesting. And finally, Jackie Chan must fend off ninjas while also dealing with extremely tight pants."

"That makes sense," I said, "How can he fight if his pants are too tight?"

A few of the others seemed to giggle at my little rhyme. "You make a persuasive point, my friend," Celestia replied, "I'll go with that one."

"Wonderful!" Cadance said. She was now in a three way tie for first place, which made me curious as to what would happen next with Discord.

Said draconequus was quick to grab the final card for the round. "You know," he began, "Once you get past _____, _____ ain't so bad."

I quickly spotted two cards that had to do with consumption. I didn't think they worked well together, but they were my best shot at winning.

"Mine's a throwaway. Again..." Twilight unhappily said as she and I both slid out pairs of cards to Discord. I could tell that Rainbow Dash was happy to hear that.

"Everyone ready?" Discord soon asked, seeing that there were 12 cards in front of him. We all nodded, so he got right to reading them off. "You know," he continued, "Once you get past a middle aged man on roller skates, a falcon with a cap on its head ain't so bad. Ehhhhhh...No. You know, when you get past Herbert the Pervert, some douche with an acoustic guitar ain't so bad." This made Discord laugh, and once I informed everyone else who this 'Herbert the Pervert' was, they got a kick out of it, too. "You know," Discord continued, "When you get past a hopeless amount of spiders, 50,000 volts straight to the nipples ain't so bad. Ummm...I'd have to think about that one. When you get past The Great Depression, painting the White House black ain't so bad. Uhhh...I don't quite see how that goes together. Anyway, when you get past a mouthful of potato salad, chugging a lave lamp ain't so bad. No, that escalated a bit too quickly. And finally, when you get past...HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" the draconequus laughed, "When you get past unsheathing my massive horse cock, tentacle porn ain't so bad!" This got the majority of the group more or less laughing. "Okay, I'll admit, that wasn't the best combo, but that's not going to stop me from liking it so much! Who had that one?"

"That was me!" Cadance exclaimed, officially taking the lead.

"Aw, come on!" Rainbow immediately replied. I knew that she wanted to be in the lead and eventually beat Twilight.

"You guys need a break?" I asked.

"Heck, no!" Rainbow replied, "I need to get my lead back!"

"Suit yourself," I responded, looking around to see that everyone else wasn't in any hurry to leave the table, "Let's keep going."

Author's Note

After four rounds, here are the scores:

Me: 4
RD: 5
TS: 2
Cadance: 6
Luna: 2
Celestia: 4
Discord: 5