After yet another break of approximately 10 minutes, the seven of us re-gathered at Twilight's dining room table, eagerly awaiting what the upcoming round would bring forth.

As I drew the next card, I knew that I would have to keep as straight of a face as possible while reading the results. "Puberty is a time of change," I began, "You might notice hair growing in new places. You might develop an interest in _____. This is normal."

"Ha!" Rainbow exclaimed as she slid her card over to me, "This 'oughta work!"

"Actually, Rainbow Dash," Celestia said with a sly grin, "I believe my choice will be far superior to yours."

"Oh yeah?!?"

"Certainly..."

"Well, we'll see about that," I said, ready to read the cards. With a straight face and the voice of a calming doctor, I said, "Puberty is a time of change. You might notice hair growing in new places. You might develop an interest in three months in the hole. This is normal."

"Well, then..." Discord chuckled, "I had no idea prison was that popular among teenagers."

"You might notice hair growing in strange places. You might develop an interest in the boners of the elderly." Amidst the immediate laughs that surrounded me, I said, "This is normal."

"That's so gross and yet so funny!" Rainbow said while laughing hysterically.

"You might develop an interest in a lifetime of sadness. This is normal. Hmmm...Depending on who you are, I suppose you could have thoughts that are pointed in a direction like that. Anyway, you might develop an interest in a whole new kind of porn. This is normal." Once again, those last three words were spoken among a barrage of giggles. "You might develop an interest in the ooze. This is normal. You know, in this context, the ooze could mean anything. And finally, you might develop an interest in pedophiles. This is normal. Absolutely not," I continued, putting that last card in the discard pile, "Let's see...The boners of the elderly was probably the most hilarious out of all of these. Who had it?"

"I did!" Twilight replied.

As I handed Twilight her Awesome Point, Rainbow took the next card in the pile; however, her immediate expression upon seeing it perfectly matched the one she had when she had drawn the one about how she lost her virginity in the last game. "Aw, geez..." she finally said, "What gives me uncontrollable gas?"

"Oh, this is perfect..." Discord said, yet another evil grin on his face. It was always a surprise to eventually see what he was up to.

"Mine's a throwaway..." Twilight said, sporting another look of disappointment as she gave Rainbow her card.

"This better be decent..." Rainbow mumbled as she got ready to read the six cards, "What gives me uncontrollable gas? Frolicking. Nah. Dry heaving. I don't think so. A...Aw, great! Not this again! A ball of earwax, semen, and toenail clippings." This caused a several of us, mainly the princesses, to cringe.

Right as the pegasus was about to read the fourth card, she paused. Cringing, she eventually said, "...L-Literally eating shit."

"Oh, how repulsive!" Celestia said, closing her eyes and pressing a forehoof to the side of her mouth.

"Quiche," Rainbow continued, "I guess it depends on what kind of quiche. Anyway, kale. You know, these last two made much more sense that the others. I think I'm gonna go with quiche."

"Wonderful!" Luna exclaimed, using her magic to claim her point from the pegasus.

When Twilight drew the next card, she beamed, and I had no idea why. The alicorn then said, "A remarkable new study shows that chimps have evolved their own primitive version of _____."

"Of course...Science..." I thought to myself. I knew that the eventual winner would most likely be something related to science and had the potential to not be funny and/or amusing to anyone else.

"Okay, what the heck is this??" Cadance asked, looking at a certain card in her hand - or hoof, whatever Equestrians were calling an amalgamation of cards in their possession. She then seemed to shrug her question away while she slid the card to Twilight. I had to assume it was a throwaway.

Twilight soon had all six cards in front of her. "Okay," she began, "A remarkable new study has shown that chimps have evolved their own primitive version of being a busy adult with many important things to do. Nah. Chimps have evolved their own primitive version of mooing. Well, this study was certainly a waste of bits... Chimps have evolved their own primitive version of estrogen." All the other females giggled slightly. "Chimps have evolved their own primitive version of emotions. Hmmm...That and estrogen seem like they're worth studying! Chimps have evolved their own primitive version of coat hanger abortions."

There was a simultaneous, "HNNNGH..." at that.

"Chimps have evolved their own primitive version of smegma." This got Discord and I laughing pretty hard. "Let's see..." Twilight continued, "You know, being a mare, I think seeing a unique kind of estrogen sounds exciting, so I'll go with that one."

"YES!" Rainbow exclaimed, relieved to have finally gotten another card.

"Hey, Cadance, which one was yours?" I asked, "You seemed kinda upset when you put it in."

"It was smegma," the pink alicorn replied, "I'm assuming you and Discord know what that is?" I then stood up and walked up next to the princess. Once there, I leaned into her ear and whispered to her what smegma was. Once I was finished, she seemed rather surprised. "Oh, so that's what it is?"

"Yep," I replied. After I responded, a look of disgust overtook her.

Once I was back in my seat, Cadance took the next card in the stack. When she looked at it, her look of disgust turned into one of excitement. With a hyper voice that could easily be compared to Pinkie Pie's, Cadance bellowed, "WHOOO! God damn, I love _____!"

I laughed a little upon hearing her read that card. Once I calmed down, I looked at my cards, deciding to be dark for once and have Cadance love something rather graphic.

"Any female would love this," Discord said as he passed his card to the Princess of Love.

Soon, Cadance was ready to read off the results. "WHOOO!" she exclaimed again, "God damn, I love being fabulous!" She then closed her eyes and flipped her mane to one side, and then the other.

"If Rarity was the Card Czar right now," Twilight said, "I don't think we'd be hearing the other cards!"

"Yeah, you're right!" Rainbow replied.

"WHOOO!" Cadance continued, "God damn, I love this...year's...mass...shooting..." she trailed off. Some of the others randomly glanced at each other for a while before Cadance continued. "WHOOO! God damn, I love..." she facehoofed, "Getting drive-by shot..." I could tell nobody was impressed with two dark cards in a row. Thankfully, Cadance regained her excitement rather quickly. "WHOOO! God damn, I love..." and then it faded again. "...Shutting the fuck up." Discord chuckled for a short time, but Cadance quickly threw the card in the discard pile. "WHOOO! God damn, I love cock!"

Immediately, the rest of us laughed as hard as we did upon finding out Luna had played 'wet dreams' at the perfect time. Hearing her say something like that had to be the greatest thing that I'd ever hear her say, regardless of what I had yet to see on the small screen. It wouldn't be something I would soon forget, and I knew that that would be the same situation for all the others.

Once the laughing died down, Cadance continued. "WHOOO! God damn, I love...depression. No. Absolutely not. Who played cock?"

"I did, Cadance," Luna replied with a smile, soon receiving her point from the other alicorn.

"You know, Cadance," I said with a coy grin, "I think it's been pretty obvious from the start that you love cock." As I finished, I pointed toward her belly in a subtle manner.

Cadance gave me a light smile and blushed a little. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." she replied while rolling her eyes.

After that, Luna took the next card from the stack. "I don't know how," she began, "But it appears Bobby became drunk off of _____."

I had been planning on erasing the text from that card and replacing it with something else. I had made that card out of complete randomness, and I wasn't sure why it was still there. What it said hadn't been too popular with the rest of the gang back home. Even worse, I had NOTHING that worked for this card.

The other five had already thrown in their cards, so I threw in the one that made the most sense, and soon, Luna began reading them all off. "I don't know how," she said, "But it appears Bobby became drunk off of...pussy."

"HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Discord laughed while banging a fist on the table. I laughed as well, and so did Rainbow. I never thought I'd hear Luna say 'pussy' out loud.

"I don't know how, but it appears Bobby became drunk off of the milkman."

"That should really say the Milkmare of Trottingham," I said, chuckling slightly. This got a big laugh out of Discord.

"I don't know how, but it appears Bobby became drunk off of alcoholism."

There was a long silence...

"Wow..." I eventually said.

"I don't know how, but it appears Bobby became drunk off of a sassy black woman. I suppose, if you think about it. I don't know how, but it appears Bobby became drunk off of a can of whoop-ass." Rainbow laughed at that. "I don't know how, but it appears Bobby became drunk off of an oversized lollipop. Hmmm...That could work, but not this time." The Princess of the Night then started chuckling lightly. "I think I'll have to go with...wow, I feel odd saying this...pussy."

"Yes!" Rainbow exclaimed, "I knew that would work!" She was now within one of first place once again.

While the eager pegasus added to her stack of Awesome Points, Princess Celestia summoned her magic and levitated the next black card into her field of vision. She then said, "_____: Kid tested, mother approved."

"Throwaway," Discord immediately said, gesturing to his card right after he set it in front of Celestia. I myself had a card that applied to children, though not in an optimal way.

"Everyone ready?" Celestia asked. We all nodded. "Okay," she continued, "The heart of a child: Kid tested, mother approved."

"Awww..." came the voices of Luna, Cadance, and Discord. I myself found it adorable, as well.

"Firing...Oh my...Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog: Kid tested, mother approved."

"Okay. That..." Rainbow began, "...That just...that just wasn't the time to play that card..."

"I will second that, Miss Dash," Luna replied.

"An inability to form meaningful relationships: Kid tested, mother approved. I don't think so. A piñata full of scorpions: Kid tested, mother approved."

"Ha!" Discord and Rainbow said at the same time.

"Gloryholes: Kid tested, mother approved."

"Aw, geez! Come on!" I yelled, "Really?!?"

"Having...a-a...wow, do I really want to say this out loud?"

"Come on, Princess!" Twilight said, hoping to motivate her former mentor.

With a sigh, Celestia said, "Having anuses for eyes: Kid tested, mother approved." Everyone else, including myself, cringed. Celestia quickly tossed that last card aside, and then she looked over her other options. "You know, I found a piñata full of scorpions to be rather amusing. I think I'll go with that one."

"Sweet!" I said, gratefully accepting my Awesome Point. This one put me in a five-way tie for second place.

Discord was quick to take the next black card. "_____," he began, "Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice. Oh, I love this card!"

"Well..." Celestia said, looking at a certain card in her 10, "I'm not sure this is considered 'awesome', but I'm playing it, anyway."

The rest of us soon handed our cards over to Discord, and he was more than ready to read them off. "Okay," he began again, "An unhinged Ferris Wheel rolling toward the sea. Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice. Well, that sounds about right, now, doesn't it? Turning the rivers red with the blood of infidels. Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice."

"Actually," Rainbow began, "That sounds like a mess in both situations."

"You're right, Rainbow. Anyway, an army of skeletons. Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice. Meh, awesome in theory, but not really a mess. An ether-soaked rag. Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice. That...sounds right. Sort of... Anyway, an...Oh my..."

"What?" Cadance asked.

"An all-expense-paid trip to Paris. Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice."

"Aw, come on..." I said, covering my face with my hands and leaning backwards as far as I could in my seat.

"You're right, that is rather dark."

"Wait, when was the last time you were in my world?"

"Recently enough for me to know what had happened, my friend."

"Oh. Alright."

"What is this 'Paris' thou speakest of?" Luna asked.

"The city name doesn't matter," I said, "A bunch of terrorists bombed several locations in that city recently."

"Oh my..." Luna replied.

"And finally, a rival dojo. Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice. Well...depends on how fierce they are. Hmmm...You know, despite how dark it is, I think I'm gonna have to go with the trip to Paris."

"Uhhh...That would be me," Cadance said, hesitantly.

"How many do you have now, Cadance?" Twilight asked.

"I don't know. Let's see," the pink alicorn replied, quickly counting her Awesome Points, "...Six, seven, eight, nine. I've got nine."

"What?!?" Rainbow asked, "She's already one away?!?"

"Hey, hey, hey, relax, Rainbow," I said, "You should at least be grateful you're ahead of Twilight."

This made Rainbow pause for a little while. "Oh yeah...You're right," she finally replied.

I then said, "Anyone in the mood for a break?" No one said anything or made any immediate moves, so I knew then and there we were ready to start what I assumed would be the final round.

Author's Note

"WHOOO! God damn, I love cock!"

-Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, 2016

Sorry, I just had to.

Here are the scores after the seventh round:

Me: 7
RD: 7
TS:5
Cadance: 9
Luna: 7
Celestia: 7
Discord: 7