What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

I heard laughter, laughter so loud that I could hear it over the speakers.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SHIT!”

I ran outside and heard another laugh, somehow different. Naturally, I started to panic. After a few minutes I heard even more maniacal laughter... But it wasn’t the same as before. This one was WAY more maniacal. I started to look around, trying to find the source of the laughter. I knew I wasn’t going to find it.

“Hahahaha...”

More laughter, need to run! What is going on today, two different laughs that were crazy as hell? That, along with the fact that I can’t find where they were coming from. I ran to the center of town. When I arrived there I was sorta relieved, I didn’t hear any more laughing. I went back home, didn’t want anyone to get worried about where I was. After running back I saw Octavia in the doorway looking worried.

“Did you hear that too? That laugh! Terrifying, just terrifying!” she said when I came in.

“I heard it, but did you hear the other laugh too ?” I asked.

“Eeeeuuuhhh, Other...laugh ? Sorry, I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT HEAD THE OTHER LAUGH ? AM I GOING INSANE?"

“Going insane isn’t all that bad, you know... Hehehehehe...”

“Aaaahhhhhh!!!!!” I screamed as I heard the voice. I sat down on the floor and my body started shaking.

“What is happening...” I said with a shaky voice.

“Why are you on the ground?” a voice said.

I started to look around and saw Pinkie standing in the doorway.

“Pinkie!” I yelled as I ran up to her and gave her the biggest hug a pony has ever had experienced. She laughed after a while and I let go.

“What’s wrong silly?”

“I don’t know! I keep hea- never mind, I just need a distraction. Can I come over to Sugarcube Corner for awhile?”

“Awh, someone’s leaving little old me alone?”

I heard the voice again, but tried my best to ignore it.

“Eeeuuhh, come on Pinkie, lets go.”

We talked a bit on the so I could stop thinking about the voice that has been talking to me, and only me!

“Have you even ridden a boar backwards while baking a cake? Hardest thing to do.”

“Aww shit. Please, just please leave me alone will ya’” I mumbled under my breath

“Hmm... Nah. I like talking to you too much.”

My eyes spread as I heard this! FUUUUUUUUUUU, the only thing I could think.

“What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuuuuuck! Just leave me alone, fuck with my mind later but now I just want some cupcakes!”

“Then eat your cupcakes. It’s not like I’m taking control of your body or anything... Actually, I just might...”

“Pinkie, could we keep talking, please? I’m, errrrr... bored.”

“Fine, tune me out. It’s not like I have knowledge of some of the most annoying songs known to mankind or anything...”

FUCK! It knew stuff about Earth... Lets just hope it doesn’t start humming Carameldansen (don't hate me, I just hate the synth) or something. Or frikkin’ One Direction! Oh god no, why am I thinking this. I’m dumb.

“I just met you... And this is crazy... But here’s my number, so call me maybe?“

“Fuck no! Oh shit did I just scream this?” I obviously scream and got a ‘What’s wrong silly?’ look from Pinkie.

“You HAVE been screaming a bit, Pimmy-boy.”

How did he know my nickname! Shitshitshithitshiiiiiit! Please go, please go, please GO!

“Please just ignore me Pinkie... I’m having some troubles.”

“You know, groveling isn’t gonna help you here. I got a half of a mind just to show up and smack you silly, boy. With a rubber chicken. Who has the name of Bob the cluckinator.”

Wait he’s going to show up? I need to hide as soon as I get to Sugarcube Corner... If I even get there without running away or getting knocked out.

“I’m a magical voice in your head, Pim. You seem to forget that hiding from a voice IN YOUR HEAD would be impossible. Unless you could remove your brain somehow. I would pay money to see someone remove their brain and continue to live.”

Idea! Get rid of my brain... No wait, that would make me die. I’m just dumb, but how do I solve this? Knock myself out?

And with that I ran up to a tree and started bumping head against it. That would eventually do the trick.

“Well, if you’re going to be intimate with a tree, be my guest. How about you get its name first? Take her out for dinner, see a movie, you know. Make her feel loved.”

I smiled at this. If this was the humor this ‘thing’ had then I somehow couldn’t hate him that much. Don’t get me wrong, I still dislike him speaking to me in my head. Suddenly, I felt my body acting on its own. I walked up to the tree and hugged it, yelling,

“TREE! BY MAH WAIFU!”

I wiped my face all over it, and pulled my head back one more time.

“KISSU-KISSU!”

“Sorry, couldn’t resist.”

Before kissing it I felt my head being grabbed by something.

“Pim! Stop!”

And suddenly Pinkie stood in front of me, “catching” my KISSU!

“Ohai Pinkie. How’re you doing?”

There was a short pause as Pinkie’s eyes widened a bit.

“Pinkie, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, same-old, same old. I just got into this guys head and it’s pretty fun, to say the least.”

“Pim! Help me!” Pinkie screamed as her tail started tingling.

“You know Pinkie, I expected you to be just a bit more fun this universe.The one I’m in would’ve LOVED for a chance to prank somepony like this, you know?”

Oh no, it got her too! FUUUUUU! Ok, how do I solve this?

“Actually, I’m gonna go and make a hoagie... Have fun you two~”

“Pim, did you just hear a voice?” she yelled.

“I did! Let’s get to Sugarcube Corner! And fast!”

After saying that we ran as fast as we could and arrived at Sugarcube Corner, panting of course.

“I need a snack, you have some cupcakes here?”

“I do, let me get those really quick.”

I went over to a random table, and guess who’s there! Vinyl and Octavia, shit... Hope it doesn’t get them.

“Hi everypony!” I said as I saw Pinkie trotting towards me.

“In the Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room
In the Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room
All the birds sing words and the flowers croon
In the Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room”

I started giggling, receiving a weird look from everypony except Pinkie.

“What’s wrong Pim? You’re acting all weird and stuff.” Vinyl said.

“Ah, this is the charming Vinyl Scratch and Octavia. Hm... I know~!”

“Me! Weird! Hahaha...” I started laughing nervously.

“Ah, for poor Octy, the nastiest-ass techno I could find, and for Vinyl, we got a fully orchestral piece. To them, it’ll be just like when you get a song stuck in your head... Lets watch ‘em squirm!”

“Oh fuck no!” I mumbled

Suddenly Vinyl and Octavia slowly started to give themselves small punches to their head.

“Aaaah! Why do I hear this shitty classical whining?”

“Well, I am hearing your annoying Techno! Please turn it off!”

Me and Pinkie looked at eachother and both said:

“Not them!”

“Hahahahaha, YES, THEM!”

Ok, thinking level zero! I’m gonna derp anyways... I jumped on the table and yelled:

“BEGONE DEMON! THE POWER OF CUPCAKES COMPELLS YOU! I’LL WAFFLE YOU!”

“Really? Oh, wait, that’s my cue...

Ahem.”

Suddenly, all four of us floated from our chairs, speaking in some kind of diabolist voice.

“YOU THINK THAT THE POWERS OF CUPCAKES AND THE BELGIAN PROMISE OF A DEATH IN MY SLEEP SHALL DETER ME, PIM? DO NOT TAKE THE THREATS OF THE VOICE INSIDE OF YOUR HEAD LIGHTLY, FOR THE CONTROL OVER YOUR BODIES IS ABSOLUTE. THYNE FUTURES ARE SEALED, THYNE SOULS ARE TAINTED, AND THYNE BRAIN IS SLOW. DISPAIR.”

Having my consciousness back, I saw our group floating in the air and a terrified group of ponies staring at us with a open mouth. WHAT. IS. HAPPENING. How long is this going to last? Why did all of this start with me? WHY!

“Well, you’re either going mad and exhibiting magical tendencies, you’re being haunted by a devil, or someone crazy is somehow tapping into your mind. It’s going to last as long as I please, and it’s happening to you first because I was bored. Good enough?”

“Could we please get a introduction again before we all start derping around again?” I mumbled under my breath while sighing

“One, get a bluetooth. People won’t think that you’re completely bonkers. Oh wait, I forgot that you live in Equestria! Silly me. Two, Nah. Don’t feel like it."

“You son of a bitch...”

I tried one more thing...

“Panda in a rollercoaster with a chicken with a pully! HA! Mindfucked!” I yelled, still getting looks from everypony.

“Nyet. Komono Dragon in a toaster with its friends while riding a unicycle backwards with a box of rabid weasels.”

“Mmmmh, good one, I’ll give you that. Looks like confusing you won’t work. Let’s just wait it out then.”

“One does not simply walk into Mordor, and one does not simply ‘wait me out’. It’s like trying to make chicken salad without chicken."

“Well fuck, I’m out of options! Can’t we make a deal or something?”

“Well, that depends. You got any hot pockets?”

I searched my pockets, Nope! Nothing.

“Well, I suppose you can’t go to my home back on Earth and get some out of the kitchen?”

“I can jump around any universe you can think, but no. Mainly because I’m already here, and I’m too lazy to do anything else.”

“Feel free to change your mind. Nothing is stopping you. But I think you should make a appreance... A physical one.”

“Himm? Why would you want that? If anything else, I would be derping around with you guys more.”

“What is happening!” Pinkie yelled as she slowly opened her eyes and saw that she was floating with the whole group.

“Well, its kinda obvious, we’re being controlled by this mad thing that is making us float in the air at the moment.” I said as it was a normal thing.

“Uuuh guys, why ar-” Vinyl said before being cut off by Octavia.

“Why are we floating! Vinyl are you doing this?! You’re the only one with magic here!”

“Do you see my horn glowing? I don’t think so.” Vinyl replied.

“Girls! Lets not get into a fight here. Okay.” I interupted.

“Sorry Pim, Sorry Vinyl.” Octavia said and sighed.

“Sigh. I guess that I have to really show up now to prevent you jokers from eating each other alive, huh?”

The voice seemed to become more substantial as it talked, and I could hear the crackle of energy right below me, a little ball of red on a chair blowing up into the form of a pony. With a last flash, the energy became real, showing a red pony with tri-colored hair.

“Hello, marsupials. Hope you all are having a nice time up there.”

“Dafuq! So you finally decided to show up did ya’. Now would be the perfect time for Twilight or AJ to buck your ass.”

I closed my eyes and opened them a while later in hope that it would actually happen... Nope, damn you, cartoon mind! The pony rolled his eyes and placed one hoof on his chin while the other one reached below his seat.

“Well, seeing that I can levitate people in the air, AJ or Twi’ wouldn’t be able to buck me, now could they? Anyway, marsupials, would you like to calm down so that I can put you down and we can have a nice, civil conversation? Otherwise, Octy over there is going to be the proud owner of a beard.”

“Oh what I’d do to see that shit!” I said joking... Bad decision.

“Oh really~?” The red pony asked, his eyes raking over to Octavia.

“So Octy, what type would you like? Handlebar, full face, Lincoln strip?”

I laughed at Lincoln strip, again. Bad decision to laugh. Why don’t I ever learn.

Octavia struggled mid-air and had a few beads of sweat coming onto her brow. “Well, gentlecolt, I don’t think I-”

She was interrupted by the red pony on the stool. “You know, I think a survivalist’s beard would look good on you...”

“Wait, you’re serious about this?!” I turned to Octavia

“Sorry Octavia but I can’t promise I won’t laugh.”

The red pony pulled out a tray of pizza rolls. Where did he get a tray of pizza rolls?

“You know, I should probably wrap this up,” He took a bite out of one of the pizza rolls. “Disc’rd prolly wn’ts ta shee me...”

He clapped his hooves together, giving Octavia a huge, bushy beard that almost went down to her hooves.

“You’re leaving so soon already? I was hoping to actually have a conversation with you.” I said while laughing at Octavia. Looks like I gotta apologize later.

The red pony belched and got up off of the stool.

“Well, we did have a bit of a conversation, but really, I gots ta go. You know, people with plans, people with deadlines, me going to have to get Nightmare Moon, that type of stuff. Anyway, Ciao!”

He vanished into thin air with all of the pizza rolls popping like little cherry bombs as cover.

Our group fell down on the table, well more specificly... On me. Doesn’t feels that good to have three ponies on top of you, feels like when an anvil falls on your chest from ten meters high. That hurts, trust me. I looked around to see that Sugarcube Corner was deserted.I looked back to Ocatvia having a giant-ass beard.

“You should go to Rarity sometime to get that removed ya’ know.”

She punched me after saying that

“Awch, sorry.”

“Uuuh, Pim, Octavia, Vinyl, Do you mind if I stay over tonight?”

“Not at all Pinkie, you’re welcome.”

We made our way home after picking up some pizza rolls from the floor. Oh it has been FOREVER since have had any pizza. The “conversation” at Sugarcube Corner lasted for a good while. The sun was already setting and everypony was going home or closing their stand. We didn't talk at all while walking home, everypony in the group was just too scared, I guess. What happened was pretty terrifying. Eventually we came home and we all grabbed a apple from the kitchen table and sat down to discuss what actually happened.

“So this... mad red pony can become invisible, can speak to everypony without anyone hearing it, has telekenisis, the power to summon pizza rolls, to grow beards on everypony and possible more. Great! We are completely fucked!” I said as we sat down.

“Well he said something about Discord! ...Discord!” Pinkie said in a dramatic voice.

“I don’t know who Discord is but I know for a fact that he’s a baddie! ...You know I wonder if that pony can summon Guybrush Threepwood, I always wanted to meet the mighty pirate. He could defeat the red pony if we told him if it was LeChuck...” I said getting weird looks from that last part

“Never mind, y’all know I’m weird! But we should go to sleep soon, shouldn’t we! Somepony is going to share a bed.”

“I’ll give my bed to Pinkie!” Vinyl said.

“Who are you going to sleep with then?” Octavia said.

“I don’t know.” She said looking at me

“Anyways, back to the Discord thing. It also mentioned something with moon, what was it?”

After thinking fro a while I yelled:

“Nightmare Moon! That was it! Now who the fuck is she?”

It noticed that nopony didn’t care anymore about me saying curse words. Good. *evil laugh*

“She’s Princess Luna evil side! She can bring a eternal night to Equestria!” Pinkie explained in her dramatic way.

“She’s a baddie, we need to make sure that we whoop her ass... errr flank.”

“I hope they don’t summmon other baddies! Like changelings or a walking army of poison joke plants! Oh no!That won’t be fun at all” Pinkie replied

“We need to report to the Royal Sisters tomorrow ASAP!” I said

“ASAP?” the group said in unison.

“As Soon As Possible.” and received a lot of ‘Ooohhh’

“Well, bed time everypony!” Octavia intrupted

“We need to be fresh and awake if we need to go to Canterlot tomorrow.” She said again

“Well ok then. Vinyl, made up your mind yet?” I said

She put her hoof to her chin and put her other hoof into the air. It looked like she was deciding on the spot.

“I’ll chooooosseeee... YOU!” She said as she pointed at me.

“Euuuh you equals me? Wait, what? We’re sharing a bed? Oooooookay! I’m not saying no.” I said, giving her a playful wink. kinkeh!

We all went upstairs and got to our rooms, yes also me and Vinyl. We went into our room and closed the curtains.

“What side do you pick?” Vinyl said.

“I don’t care, also don’t think anything weird if I give you huggles in your sleep. I’m kinda active.” I said, chuckling at that last part

“I don’t mind, same here actually!” Vinyl replied

We both crawled under the sheets and got comfy. We talked a bit more about music, how weird the day was, things we gotta do after everything was okay. All that stuff. When the conversation died, we slowly started to fall asleep, giving huggles to each other. So peaceful...

“Oh, Pimmy-boy is fawwing asweep with Vinyl, is he?

Well, I know a perfect lullaby for you, Pim.

Away in a madhouse, confined to my bed,
From visions and nightmares that filled me with dread,
the doctor has sweetly inserted a probe,
to sever completely my pre-frontal lobe,
electroshock therapy, mind-numbing pills,
they change my behaviour to cure all my ills,
I love the asylum, my own padded cell,
I'll stay here forever, for outside it's hell.

Nighty-night, Pim. Hehehehehehehehehe....”

Well that’s it for this lenthy chapter! Hope y’all enjoyed it and be happy with this for 2 weeks because I’ll be in Italy tomorrow! You wanna say something, Pro?

Nope, not really.

Well ok then! This red pony is probably going to fuck up a lot of shit! And eat lots of pizza rolls!