Vengeance, Card Games and Magic

≤Sorry guys, I smoked it on my way to Seven-11.≥

[…You guys are idiots… No wonder you're my only friends that don't mind me being a brony. I have a stoner and a spastic who would destroy and idea of Friendship and Harmony in nanoseconds.]

≤We can change! I'll become a real man and start to use PCP instead of water!≥

[Okay, how is this going to work from here that doesn't involve crappy Seinfeld jokes… Hmm… People who read off sites with quotes from 90's sitcoms deserve to be beaten over the head with a sack of coathangers… I've said too much. (Let me out! I want to write the story!) Write your own story, stupid spit subconscious personality.]

And as the two lovers moved in for a long and romantic kiss that would go for about thirty seconds, their new butler interrupted them.

"Attention duelists," The hair guy shouted in an unnecessary manner. "My hair is handing you a list of applicants for being your mercenaries."

Discord removed the Moleskin note pad from the hair guy, that contained a record all the people that were considered mildly threatening at most. He read what was on the front page and just bursted into a hysterical laugh.

"Oh my! We hire HIM? Hah, it's sad to see that there aren't enough characters from the two series to do this job." Discord wiped a tear from his disproportionate eyes.

"Couldn't we hire some professionals," Melvin got the attention of his boyfriend. "Like Greedo, the Vault Hunters, Dog the Bounty hunter, or even Deadpool!"

"Well." Discord began to explain himself. "Greedo's dead because Han shot first (get it right, George Lucas, you cheap sell-out), the Vault Hunters are from Borderlands 2, a video game based on a fictional planet, which you haven't stopped playing since it came out."

"But I like that game!"

"Dog the Bounty hunter is the biggest pussy in the world by using pepper spray, and the famous 'Merc with a mouth' is off in other fanfics, comics, parody videos and memes throughout the Internet. In fact, the writer also happens to edit a certain Deadpool fanfic."

Melvin gave Discord a bewildered look. "You don't mean…"

Discord's malicious grin told everything. "Yes I do… He works for Novablast15. Now let's get through the list." He then went back to the list. "We have a lot of ground to cover…"

Contestant No 1

"So who are you again…" Melvin questioned the almighty Sayian Prince standing before him, double-checking his list.

"I am Vegeta." The Sayian said. "Look, I know I'm from Dragon Ball Z Abridged, but could you consider hiring me?" He took off his scouter. "It's either this or Dairy Queen… And I am really wanting to avoid the latter."

"Fine, fine." Discord grumbled in boredom. "What are your special abilities?"

"I can turn into a giant monkey, immortality is my b*tch, and one of my many applicable skills are that I can deal with idiots. Just letting you know, that is quite a lot compared to even half of what the retards that showed up could ever achieve." Vegeta just stood there, cross-armed and waiting for their decision.

Melvin then gave a nod to Discord, who then in turn gave a nod back to Melvin, nodding again to the Hair guy, who then nodded to Vegeta, and then nodded himself to Ghost Nappa. Cutting straight to the point, realising that copying a Family Guy joke only works with the visual effect and not just in word form, Melvin said: "You're hired, only if you say 'It's over nine thousand!', like you do in the real series."

"…You know what, f*ck this. I'm out." Vegeta flew off, straight through the ceiling of Pimp Palace, allowing asbestos insulation to collapse and spill onto the marble floor.

"Mental note:" Discord dictated to himself as he wrote. "Ask designers about natural lighting installments."

"Next!" Melvin shouted.

Contestant No 48

"Well, well, well. Diethard Reid…" Discord said, turning around on his new swivel throne. "We meet again."

"Um actually, this is the first time you've seen me." Diethard spoke with his Brooklyn accent (not like Joey's, thank Ra). "I take it you already know about me?"

"Why yes," Melvin smiled. "I know all about Code MENT. You really need this third job that badly, don't you?"

"You don't know how much money you can waste on Steam games…" The TV producer and loyal follower of One hung his head in shame.

"Too bad then. Because all applicants must be at least a four on the villain test, which you scored a two on. Good bye."

"Dammit! I knew I should've cheated to gain more marks!"

"Next!"

Contestant No 635

"So… Gilda is it?" Melvin asked for the female gryphon's name.

"Yeah, what about it?" She replied, not really giving a flying buck about it, forelegs crossed across her chest.

"Well according to these series of police records, in ascending order of seriousness, you have: taken scandalous and degrading pictures of Prince Blueblood; stolen the little packets of sugar from numerous coffee stores; over two thousand library books overdue; stolen numerous pyromaniac tools and equipment; started an illegal discount cremation service; slashed the wheels of thirty-six carriages; associated yourself with the Gryphon Resistance Army terrorist group; been caught speeding several times flying under the influence of sea salt, alcohol, and crystal meth; been caught not paying for a train ticket to Appaloosa; harassed a senior citizen retirement village by lacing their food with laxatives, clogging their toilets and taking their wheelchairs; been caught on numerous occasions pick-pocketing; been caught pick-pocketing ponies who were pick-pocketing other ponies; counterfeited over a billion bits in the past two years; burnt down the Detrot Detention centre; committed multiple grand theft carriages; smuggled sea salt to Canterlot through the Mexicolt drug ring; been caught with the use of n00b tubes; been found killing mentally disabled ponies; killing regular ponies; killing super ponies; tea bagged those dead bodies; sexually violated all of the bodies; made a mass cremation of those said bodies; committed arson of a forest; arson of a thunderstorm; arson of a school; arson of an entire town; been charged with defacement of public property; displacement of public property; re-selling of public property; called Princess Celestia the b word, the c word and the z word; punched a puppy in the face; and of course, the most serious offense known about life, the universe and everything, you made Fluttershy cry."

The gryphon raised a brow. "And?"

"You're hired."

Contestant No 7390

"Oh, it's Florence's human host." Melvin pouted as the pasty Brit made his way towards them. "Not so useful now to him, are we?"

"I haven't the slightest idea what you are emploring." Ryo said, dusting off his jumper a little bit as his nerves came upon him. "I am seeking to join your band of pickpockets so that I could end up in an orphanage, begging for more gruel and then eventually escaping to write a musical based on my experiences growing up in an Industrial-Age London. Also there have been these strange robots around home and I can't find my mummy."

"Hmm." Discord rubbed his chin, as if pondering hard over what the Brit had just said. "And if I gave you super powers, what would you call yourself?"

"I would be Limey-Man! Drinking cups of tea whist kicking sensitive little bottoms!"

"…Quite the extravagant homosexual, but that settles things for me. You're hired!"

"I'm not gay, I'm just British."

"Is there really a difference?"

"Not really. Only a few minor details."

"So exactly the same?" Melvin grinned in a way similar to that of someone who's going to rape someone.

"…Am I hired if I say yes to that question?" Ryo Bakura backed away slightly from his potential murderer.

"Most definitely. Did we mention how we pay in pounds…"

"That's not so bad…"

"…of gold."

"Yes they are exactly the same!"

Contestant No NINJA

"Do you have any questions before we accept your application? Naruto of Little Kuriboh's Naruto the Abridged Comedy Fandub Spoof Series Show?" Discord

"Yes I do Master Discord-sama-sensei-senpai-san-dono-fourchan-tan-pi-me-hakase-ojou-hime-shishou-kun." Naruto took a long hard breath from his cigarette. "Why is everything in this place a f*cking pony!"

"Actually, there are more than ponies in this world. There are dragons, donkeys, gryphons, sea serpents and a plethora of other magical creatures in the wonderful kingdom of 'Awesome Land™', ruled by us in a fascist monarchy."

"Why does nothing make f*cking sense in this fanfic at all? It's like the writer's stoned or something. More stoned than me!"

"Well the good news is you're in." Melvin ticked off Naruto's name on the list they had along with everyone else who had conveniently auditioned beforehand offscreen. "Now it's time for a montage of all the people who made it or failed!"

The Big Brother house…

Walking into the kitchen, Saker strode in like a pimp and just stared at Chris, who was in a lab coat, his underwear and a vial of chemicals in his left hand.

"Look at me!" Chris became the centre of Saker's very short attention. "I'm that guy who makes all the drugs on that TV series!"

"Hah, lol." Saker just laughed. "I was walking in to get a knife and a chainsaw to eat some cereal."

Luna trotted in to see what the commotion was all about. "Christopher, Anthony, how are we today?"

Chris shrugged. "Making the meth, gettin' high; nothing much."

"Then who is that bald man in the cage?" She pointed her hoof at the drug loaded corpse from a 'safe' amount of blue meth.

"Oh that's Krillin. He's now my test subject and he loves it, isn't that right, Krillin?" Chris looked at Krillin.

All the dead body of Krillin did was flop to the side of his cage, green blood oozing from his eyes in a sickening manner. His festering skin, shriveled like a prune, crackling under the harsh UV light.

"Shut the f*ck up Krillin! It's not a lie if you believe it!" Chris backhanded the body, exploding the Krillin ownage meter.

"Saker, I have something important to tell you." Luna looked over to Saker who was busy putting ice cream int the toaster.

"I know you love me and this scene is really gay and a last minute type-up but yes, I want to make pancakes with you." Saker took the microwave and tried to put it in a motor oil stir-fry.

"No, Saker," Luna shook her head. "Where is my sister? She always disappears into her room every month or so for a few days… And where is your other friend… The one that keeps on typing stuff."

"Oh yeah, Morgie. I don't know… All I do know is that he's writing this chapter and trying to release it early so he can do the good in the driving exams." He lowered his head in shame. "I feel so sorry for everything that exists within a universe of him and a car. There will be death, and an end to all Asian and Female stereotypes of being bad drivers."

"I hope he's alright… Who knows what would happen if Celestia's weird, monthly pains where she moans…"

Bursting through the window of the house, the breaker of windows had kangaroos glued to his shoes. Why do you ask this? Well because it's…

"EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEME!!!!"

Saker decided to intervene whilst his smelting pot of Gak soup was on fire. "Who the fuck are you, are you selling religion and what are your rates?"

"Hi everybody, I'm Yuma from Yu-Gi-Oh! ZeXal™ and I'm here to steal all of your profits as a popular fan fiction!" The strange stranger danger strangest stranger half-shouted.

"We're a fan fiction." Chris turned around from abusing a DBZ Abridged character. "We don't make money, but you can donate kindly to this site and we can arrange some sort of deal."

"I thought meta stories about that site weren't allowed?" Yoma gave Chris a weird look.

Taking out his bong, Chirs looked back at his monkey meth-makers. "It's amazing what meth can be used to barter for."

"Who is this?" Luna asked Saker who was pouring bleach into the milk-flavoured cardboard box.

"A mistake." Saker continued on with his 'cooking'. "No, I lied. He is a desperate attempt to steal money from a bunch of children and autistic men-children."

"And what does the X stand for?"

"Well…" Chris was then rudely interrupted.

"The X stands for

EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEME!!!!"

"Why is there colour in his speech?" Saker pointed out on the page, indicating the change in visual display.

"Saker, you can't see color in someone's speech,"  The stoner moved his Pepsi Next can away from the candle for a small sip. "Just like you can't correct your spelling when speaking."

"STOP TELLING ME WHAT I CAN AND CAN'T DO!"

Finding it the perfect time to interrupt the out of context conversation, Yuma managed to say his mildly menacing threat. "Now I'm going to send you all to the moon!"

"You ain't got no pancake mix!" Saker held a frying pan up to his face with the intent of cooking up some of the delicious delicacies. "Also, why?"

"Saker, he already answered tha–" Chris was unfortunately cut off again by Yoma's unnecessarily loud shouting.

"Because it's EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEME!!!!"

"Thou shalt not move in a fast manner, female canine!" Luna raised her hoof in objection, her eyes glowing with concentrated anger. "Thou hath little knowledge of what thou be copulating with. Did I say that right?"

"Sort of…" Saker commented on the confusing insult. "Try saying it in a slightly less gay accent."

"You mean the Ye Olde Equestrian accent?"

"Precisely, anything that sounds remotely gay is considered British."

"Fine." Luna sighed as she prepared to repeat herself again, only this time it would make much more sense. "Not so fast, bitch! You don't know what you're dealing with."

"That's okay, I'll just use my army of EXTREME pigeons that I stole from Sesame Street to make you give me all your money!" Yuma snapped his fingers, summoning forth a mass of the feathery beasts from within the pouches of his kangaroos. As they formed around the ZeXal protagonist, the dark cloud enshrouded the unsuspecting trio.

"I would be mildly terrified if I was a statue right now." Anthony looked up to meet the mass of avian menaces. "But today I am shitting cinderblocks by the moles."

"That doesn't even make sense!" Luna tried to correct Saker's distorted logic but gave up as she finished her sentence, sighing in defeat.

"Don't worry guys!" Chris pulled out a giant bird cage covered in a bed sheet from underneath the kitchen sink. "I made some genetically-mutated, crack-addicted crows to help defend us!"

Pulling the sheet off the cage, the green eyed, diseased birds within the wire prison sat there patiently, waiting to released onto their prey.

"EXTREME pigeons, attack him now!" Yuma gestured towards Saker, sending the pigeons to annoy the living hell out of him.

"Someone help me!" Anthony pathetically pleaded as he stood still, feathers falling all around him with the mindless birds doing nothing whatsoever. "I'm too lazy to simply walk away from them."

"Now my pretties, fly! Fly! Do your master's bidding!" Chris finally opened up the latch, letting all of his avian monstrosities take flight and eat Saker along with the pigeons annoying him.

"My EXTREME pigeons! No!" The boy with rediculous hair yelled in denial whilst his army was consumed in a grotesque manner too bloody and disgusting to describe.

"Yay! Now make them stop eating me. Chris?" Anthony looked towards Chris, who retained his creepy Me Gusta face as the crows began to bore deeper into his body.

"And here's part two of my plan!" Chris pointed towards him in a way that translates as 'It sucks to be you so much f*cking balls!'. "Give me uncensoring rights, you f*cking *bleep* and I'll tell them to eat Yoma instead."

"Um, how about no, because I can respawn and I don't care about your baby squirrel dick problems."

After giving Saker some time from his seventh respawn into the crows, prolonging their feeding frenzy, Chris spoke again. "Anthony, uncensor me now!"

"Nope, Chuck Testa!" Anthony appeared behind the drug, obsessed maniac as the crows continued to digest the perfectly disguised mannequin with a discreet smiley face drawn on the back of its head, along with another seven corpses of his. Shoving Chris into the murder of murderous crows, Saker shouted his battle cry for getting a revenge kill. "Eat a dick!"

Chris, laughing manically over his creations as they ate his regenerating body to a point where he could no longer move freely. "Yes my children… Feed on me… Grow stronger with daddy's flesh!"

"And now to walk away with kangaroos glued to my feet." Yuma discreetly tried to shuffle away, but with kangaroos glued to your feet, this is very difficult and resulted in a face plant of failure.

Anthony, full of win and happiness, simply crouched near their problem. "How about a trip to the moon?"

"What?"

Pulling out a red keyboard, he pushed the plastic keys in any random sequence and singing horribly at the same time. "Pootis Yuma on the moon!" Since it was a magic keyboard, and everyone knows when you mention magic your argument can't be wrong, Yuma dissappeared a nanosecond later. "Lulz! I win!"

Scarred by everything she just saw, Princess Luna could only manage a few words. "Remind me never to go near Chris again."

"Agreed." Saker smiled and walked off to find other amusing ways for him to die and respawn.

In Celestia and Tom's room…

"Oh Tom!" Celestia cooed to her roommate, who was hunched over busily slaving away for the new chapter. "I have something to show you!" She said, holding a banana with her magic in a phallic way.

"Not now Celestia, I have the Alf Stewart fanfic and my other two story ideas to work on vigorously." Morgie dismissed her. "If you want to have some time alone to do your business with a banana, I'll put my headphones on to block out the moaning noises. Jeez, every time you do that, coincidentally there seems to be a ghost looming around the place."

Her shadow then loomed over Tom. "The banana's for you…"

As she prepared herself, Tom's mind just kept playing this song through the pain.

"THE SONG'S A LIE!!!!"

Awakening from his desk, covered in drool as he slept with his mouth open, Tom quickly got up and cleaned up the mess.

"God-frigging-dammit. No more Red Bull for me before going to bed." He said, throwing the can of empty energy drink away. "Now to continue with the–"

Before he could utter another word, the head of Bob Marley appeared before his eyes. "SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER!"

Waking up from the painful nightmare, drenched in sweat after screaming like a little girl, Tom sighed. "That was the most scariest thing I have ever experienced with my anus and Bob Marley. At least it was all a dream…"

"Or was it…" Rolling over to the other side of the bed, Morgie saw Celestia giving the biggest rape face possible behind him.

"Well now I have more suppressed memories now."

"I have a song that reminds me of our special moment." Celestia turned on the CD player with her magic, blasting out some romantic music for her to continue loving, or from Morgie's perspective, raping him throughout the night.

"CURSE YOU BOB MARLEY!!!" Tom shouted as she began to mount him… I have said too much.

Back to the pimp palace…

≤So here are some takes of the next scene that got rejected until we get bored.≥

"You come to me on the day of my daughter's wedding, to ask me to let you join our exclusive society?" Melvin said in a deep Italian accent.

"That is correct, godfather." Frieza spoke in a strong Russian accent.

"I am sorry to say that I cannot allow you to enter our organisation." Melvin then turned to his right hand hit-man, Discord. "Waste him."

"Say hello to my little friend!" Discord pulled out his overpowered gun and blew back Frieza's head as it became many tiny droplets of blood, splayed all over the carpet.

Both laughing manically together, they proceeded to take the body outside and dump it in the nearby lake to swim with the fishes. From there, Frieza's body will get his own 70's sit-com featuring the toxic waste pipe and Mr Grey water where–

≤No! That was terrible! Though it's better than half the crap on fanfiction.net, I bet you that I could make it better!≥

≤Don't call me fat! I'm insecure about my body as it is with three arms.≥

≤I'll have a meatlong football please with extra grapes… Oh yeah, The Stoner version≥

So like these two dudes are getting high with this one dude and theyre all heeyyyyyyy man yo want some weeeeeed and he's all hheeeeeeeeeeell yeah and so they start to zudgsKH ,gbt7 IP0 9UJI HZFE;OS8P HGUIBEP uH &–mls,mkjhgfdmjvn;uhg and then there was this dog at seven eleven and so we uag bewykfilngyn bwae kufinzatbfuei ouhpnB FUKILMOUYBF TMj,.id:AUYGBkdo;zsaehtwybfkz.seit9ybzg lsah

The end. PS: Saker died.

≤I don't care! You're dead!≥

Walking into the shipping harbour, Frieza checked around for any signs of company, in which to his relief there was no one around. Heading up to a shipping container, closing the door of it as any good citizen would, a black Melvin walks up to him with a hand gun and a party hat on and says…

"Surprise, muthaf*cka!" He shouted as a bullet then went into the back of Frieza's head.

And Discord, just for the sake of it blew his party blower and made it rain serial killers for the real Dexter Morgan to deal with over who knows how many seasons. What a realistic and refreshing concept for a television series.

≤And here's my personal favorite: The correct way!≥

"Look, I'm sorry Frieza, we don't have enough time for you, so we have to let you go." Melvin said, taking out a handkerchief to wipe the tears in his eyes. "Discord," He looked over to the draconequus. "Do it."

Pressing a button on the side of his chair labelled 'Rejection', the floor beneath Frieza opened up, revealing a dark, bottomless hole where he would burn forever in the pits of Tartarus. That's what they expected until a plume of burning hot lava immersed him, melting his remains and covering up all traces apart from a massive burn mark on the carpet they had just laid out.

"I didn't know it did that." Discord said, both eyes wide in surprise.

"Well you installed it, didn't you?" Melvin replied.

"I thought that you ordered it to be fixed in, right?"

As the two shrugged in unison over the matter, their front door was brutally removed from its hinges and sent through the air where, with a solid impact on the marble floor, made a deep, booming sound resonate throughout the room.

"Pwepare for twouble, douchebags!" The voice said as it came through the open gateway along with a few more of his fellow troupe.

Forming up around Dartz right in front of the two current rulers of 'Awesome Land', both of them just facepalmed themselves.

"Really, do we have to deal with this now?" Melvin whined. "Can't we just call them back next millennia when they actually become a considerable threat?"

"You guys suck more dyck than usual!" The hair-colour changing leader said, agitated more than when someone gets sand in their bathers. "We drowe nahntay-two miles and had to stop at a gas station with no Lays man, no Lays!"

Discord only smiled as his eyes gleamed with a new plan. "Sure we might such but you my friend, rock. Literally."

"What the *eff* is that supposed ta me–" Were the only words that could escape Dartz' mouth as the rock and roll star froze into a statue.

"It means you can either be our bitches or our statues." Discord said with delight, pulling out a wardrobe of metal slave bikinis. "It's your choice if you want padding or not."

"Getting on with our last applicant," Melvin grumbled as Discord ushered their new bitches to the dungeons. "Would you like to do a mission before we hire you full time?"

"Yeah I'm cool with this," The voice from the teen said, sounding similar to someone of the Yu-Gi-Oh! franchise. "I only have one thing to say."

"And that is?"

"Where the f*ck are my Cheetos."

[Hey Vegeta! I took over the writing part for Morgie this chapter! Yay! And then he’s taking me to Dairy Queen! DAIRY QUEEN!]

[My name is Ghost Nappa! Voiced by one of the funniest guys ever: Takahata101.]

[Anyways, I heard you have caught all 151 Pokémon, is that right?]

[I’ll just read what he wanted me to say so I don’t get whacked:

‘Help me. I am trapped in a house with a substance abuser with a God complex…’]

≤Yo, what up?≥

[‘…Luna, who basically does nothing until Season Two… (cough, cough; spoilers, cough) An idiot that has the ability to save us all in a convenient deus ex machina style but is too distracted by his own hair and anything that exists…’]

[Being bald is much better than having to take care of split ends all the time.]

[I might buy some after someone releases a fan fic based off me and Vegeta which no-one hasn’t gotten around to even completeing! I might just kill them all… or use my Master Ball to catch 'em! Oh wait, there’s one last thing:

‘…And worst of all, which makes me and my bottom quiver in fear… is Molestia…’

Huh, I wonder if she’s a Pokémon…]

[Okay then, see you all soon. Be sure to spread the story to your friends, enemies and maybe your families. Also the next chapter…

Where are Jaden’s Cheetos? Will Tom get some sleep tonight? Where’s the next episode, Little Kuriboh? Nobody knows…

I’m Ghost Nappa, and this is Vengeance, Card Games and Magic: An Idea that was spawned as a result of a fanboy’s sleep deprived hallucinations after two weeks of reading pony fan fiction and finishing off the Season Two finale. F*cking fanboys.]

"… And that's how Equestria was made!" Pinkie half-shouted, revealing the scene of an extravagant ball filled with dignitaries and other upper class snobs. Unknowingly, the ball was set in Kaiba's re-re-furbished pad, because why the f*ck not and he couldn't be bothered in booking out the entire city to host a ball. Most of the main cast were just standing around like muppets, dressed in expensive clothes, confused and unsure of what to do in these situations, that was except for Twilight, who was having a word with a gentleman with purple eyes and a strange seagull that randomly appears at times in those said eyes.

"I don't get what was so bad about this chapter, Lelouche." The lavender mare waited for his to finish reading the parts of what seemed to be this current chapter. "Can you please give me some sort of idea as to what was wrong with it?"

"Only that it sucked. What is surprising though is that Chapter Two Plus Two Equals Five has the second most views in the entire story, apart from the first mistake…" Lelouche, voiced by purpleeyesftw, said in an uncaring manner. "By the way Kaiba, thanks for inviting me and Suzaku over here. It must've been a stretch for you to set this sort of thing up, you know with all the complaints about crossovers and whatnot."

"Not at all." Kaiba said, not really moved by inferiors. "I enjoy having people over who have less money than I do. It makes my Blue-Eyes happy."

"And that makes Trixie happy." Trixie walked up beside the extravagant millionaire, muzzling near a certain region of his anatomy. "Especially when she learns that in season three she p0wns your sorry flank, Twilight Sparle!"

"But knowing the nature of a typical episode, and the fact I am one of the main protagonists, you have some item which intensifies your magic, causing me to train harder for an easy win against minor antagonists such as yourself that rely on hax. It's kind of cliché but what can you do?" Twilight shrugged, completely comfortable with the future synopsis.

"Wait, what?"

"Just asking outta curiousity, why is the lesbian pony and that blonde Brooklyn guy in dog costumes?"

"We're dressing up for a post-subsequent-ensuing-hindmost-postliminary Halloween costume after-party." Joey continued to weird out everyone with a glass of punch in his paw.

"I think the word your looking for is 'furry convention'." Kaiba made a smug comment to his most hated 'friend'.

"F*ck you, asshole!" Rainbow Dash raised her hoof, realising that she couldn't flip the guy off due to a lack of hands.

"Considering what the Internet has done to you, I'd rather not."

"Shut up, you scalie!" Lelouche continued the chain of insults about fetishes.

"Your friend is dressed up as a cat and everyone's paying out us?" Joey gestured towards his fried who was busy eating the cutlery made of ridiculously expensive metals.

"I'm Neil Armstrong." Suzaku said in his cat costume, one of the forks piercing his nose.

"Of course you are." Lelouche replied to his friend's usual stupidity.

"I'm glad that nothing's going to ruin this perfect ni–" Yugi entered the conversation to keep things moving.

"Murphy's Law." Twilight stated.

"What?"

"Murphy's Law: 'Anything that can go wrong will go wrong'."

"As if something lame like that would happen."

Busting into the scene again, Pinkie jumped in with her only 'logical' explanation. "It is! My Pinkie Sense is telling me that someone's going to crash the party!"

"I bet it's Santa Clause!!" Tristan was ignored as usual with his nonsense.

"Can you at least tell me if it's someone we all want to choke in their sleep?" Kaiba glared down at the pink mare.

"The whiny little brat in Game of Thrones whose the son of the Incest Queen?" Duke said, having more swag than the (p)Imp on the very show.

"Don't you mean Insect Que– Oh now I get the joke."

"So incest is not only for animals and country ponies?" Fluttershy whispered as the result of fanservice, causing everyone to give the only Southern character a look of disproval.

"Now wait just a gosh-darn minute!" Applejack attempted to deny that possible fact which nearly everyone expects to be true. "Ah–"

In an ironic and totally not expected twist of events, the lights blacked out as a dense plume of smoke filled the room. Blinding them all with a sudden beam of light, a figure dressed in dark clothing appeared. His costume, hand-stitched by his mother, absorbed all the excess light and continued to drive the guests into paranoia.

"Get the f*ck outta here, you rich assholes!" The voice said, his mask covering any attempt to identify who it was. "That is unless you want to make a forced donation to charity without any tax returns."

This statement didn't move the protagonists, however it sent hysteria through the minds of the affluent guests.

"The horror!"

"I don't want to waste my money on something that helps others!"

"Surely there must be a way to protect my needless amounts of money! Maybe by asking President Romney to lower taxes for the rich might help me!"

"Why that's a brilliant idea!"

"Romney! Romney! Romney!"

As the room suddenly became barer than the inside of Kaiba's heart, the Supreme King (Faggot) approached the massive protagonists, and Yugi's grandpa, with a crazed bloodthirsty look on his face as the mask fell off. Ironically, this was similar to the face of a baby kitten curling up to sleep in its soft, warm bead.

"Oh joy. It's you, again." Yami pouted.

Tristan gave their pending doom a stare of disapproval. "You're not Santa."

"Why hasn't anyone taken me out of the box yet?" Téa complained as she shook her cardboard prison in an attempt to break free.

[(Expecting that tart, Morgan? Why I feel sorry for the lot of you. I mean really, most of you are obsessed over a tedious card game and tedious show revolving around magical ponies. And before you ask, yes, yes I am evil. Here's the new season and episode you've been promised. I spy with my little eye, something involving more fanfics, crazed fans, and Lord Donut Steel of the Sombrero Republic. Cherrio!)]