Vengeance, Card Games and Magic

Bonus Chapter Two:

Concept for chapter: obsidianreaper

The slave to the keyboard: Morgie93

[Note: Chris is a Dragon Ball Z Abridged fan and has read an insane amount of fanfics. Whatever he says: Do NOT take it seriously. He has had to give up weed for the exams and he tends to get a little bit antsy. Enjoy! (Or not.)]

In a far off dimension…

Flying away from his new opponent, Krillin continued to rocket across the sky at maximum speed. Who knew what would happen if this being caught up to him.

"I just need to keep this up for a few more seconds…" He said to himself, trying harder to get some distance between whatever was chasing him. "At least I can't see him anymore."

And being the massive, stuck up b*tch that she is, irony had a beam of concentrated energy fired directly at Krillin's face. Sending him plummeting towards the hard, dry rock bed, his foe landed facing the bald man, donning a massive, industrial sized bong and a lighter… Essentially, the man was stark naked.

"So nudity does make people stronger…" Radditz came out of nowhere behind the attacker and was then brutally murdered with a violent explosion to the brain.

Tossing away the carcass, the man smiled and said. "Yes, yes it does." The mysterious man looked at himself with pride, then glaring at Krillin for reasons he was about to explain. "Now Krillin, it's time for you to die…"

"Please Chris! Give me more time!" Krillin pathetically pleaded for his meaningless life. "I'll get your drug money for you in four to six weeks time, granted the postal system is absolute bullsh*t! Ten dollars for a pack of stamps? That's a complete rip-off and–"

"Screw the money!" Chris waved the bong menacingly at him. "All I want is the drugs in my veins right now! You can't smoke money as well as every single fucking drug in the universe!"

"Wait a minute!" Krillin stepped away from this raging druggie. "I think I have some Purple Haze in my back pocket. Let me just get it out for yo– Destructo Disk!"

Sending out a beam of energy in the form of a giant razor blade, Krillin fired the powerful attack at Chris, ripping into his flesh as the disc made its way through his flesh. Charring the severed bone marrow, torn muscles, and ruptured blood vessels, His head sickeningly oozed off, strewn on the earthy surface, left to bask in the flood of sunlight. Slowly forming from the same wound, an identical head began to grow to the same size the original version was.

Cracking his neck after it had fully formed, Chris began to accumulate an overwhelming desire to kill Krillin. "What gives? I liked that head! Well that goes to show that I shouldn't try to catch things with my teeth."

Krillin, being used to this crazy kind of sh*t, only questioned one thing. "I didn't know Nameks could have normal coloured skin."

"They can't." Chris said flatly.

"But how?"

Opening his arms out wide in an omnipotent pose, Chris just snickered. "Because I am a god!"

"Like Kami?" The Z-Warrior asked this 'god'.

Laughing like a maniac, Chris tried to compose himself so he could say something flatly again. "No, more like Kami version 2, 182, 385.29 with Bluetooth compatibility."

"Oh… Um… I'm sorry about what I did before and I sincerely apologi– Destructo Disk!"

As Krillin fired yet another disk of energy, Chris gabbed hold of the Destructo Disk in his left hand, compressing it into a small orb of energy. Placing it in his bong, he began to inhale ridiculous amounts of air that would make him higher than Goku's power levels.

"Oh god it feels like energised cocaine infused with LSD." He gave a creepy/rape-face smile as he turned towards Krillin. "I'm going to keep you in my drug cage from now on."

"You can't!" Krillin tried to move away from wherever this thing was going. "This is a Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged fan fic; I'm from Dragon Ball Z Abridged. It doesn't even make sense that I should even be here!"

"So? Jaden Yuki is from another abridged series but you don't see him complaining." Chris took a puff of the bong, letting the smoke linger around his stark naked body. "And apart from him, everyone else seems happy… except when they have been waiting six months for a new chapter of My Little Marik!"

"Holy crap! Six months? That's crazy!"

Inside the massive bong, Krillin could see a little baby placed at the bottom of it, floating around in the weed-contaminated water. "…Where did you get that baby from?"

"They didn't want it anymore." Chris said, looking at the baby, then back to Krillin.

"Why are you going to smoke it?"

"Well, I was going to keep it in this glass container that is used for the inhaling of harmful chemicals until I found suitable legal guardians, but that sounds like a great idea! Good job, Krillin! You're an A-Grade baby murderer!"

"Oh god, why?" Krillin thought of all the groveling he would have to do to redeem himself.

"And to all of youreading this:" Chris put on a monocle and a top hat to look that little bit more sophisticated. "Fuck you. Fuck all of you. Stop bitching about new chapters. As much as it seems that fanfic writers cater to all of you perverted whims, they don't. They all have lives outside this otaku website, so shut the fuck up. I don't care if you've been waiting for a millennia for the new chapter. If you don't, I will hunt down you, I will find you, and I will smoke you. Hard.

"So if you're wondering how I avoided the censor bleep. Well it's hard to distract Saker for a few seconds, but I found a way."