Dan Vs... Stuff

by neorenamon

So after dinner, Twilight set up a divider curtain between her side of the bedroom and Dan's side so that the gals could get some sleep without having to worry about being looked at from the guys' side. Twilight changed into her nightgown, and loaned another to Margaret once the curtain was set up. It seemed to fit her pretty well considering the differences in the structure of the bodies of the two ladies.

"Good night, Dan," said Twilight across the curtain.

"Good night, Mordecai and Rigby," added Margaret.

"Good night, Princess," said Dan with a little too much sarcasm in his voice.

"Good night, Margaret," sighed Mordecai.

"Whatever," added Rigby.

"What happened to that little dragon?" asked Margaret as she climbed onto her side of the bed.

"Spike?" asked Twilight, "His basket is in the same room as Fluffle Puff and the Changeling Queen."

"He seems to be rather fond of you."

"Well funny thing that," she replied awkwardly, "As part of my magic test for magic kindergarten, I had to hatch a dragon egg. He kind of looks up to me as a mother figure because of that, so I've raised him since he was a baby."

"You don't look old enough to be anyone's mother," she said as she looked over Twilight's young and lean body.

"Well when you're the personal student of Princess Celestia, you tend to become more mature more quickly than others."

"I take it that's some kind of privilege then?"

"A great privilege and a huge honor," replied the violet unicorn as she looked down. There was a noticeable blush in her cheeks as she said that as well.

"That sure sounds better than working in a Coffee Shop," she sighed as she looked down somewhat.

"What's wrong with that?" she asked back, "Pinkie Pie is one of my best friends, and she works at a bakery when she's not planning parties for everypony in Ponyville."

"Doesn't she have any goals beyond that?"

"But that is her goal: To make everypony happy!"

"Well when I have enough money, I'm moving to a large college town. My future doesn't exist across the street from that park anymore."

"Nothing wrong with higher education," she said evenly, "but I didn't discover friendship until I left the higher magical education behind and moved into a small rural community like Ponyville."

"We're kind of opposites then," said Margaret with a small giggle. She laid back in bed and pulled the sheets up.

Twilight put her hand on her shoulder as she said, "Just don't forget the friends you left behind. That's the first mistake I made in leaving magic school back in Canterlot, and it took me more than a year to make up for that." Then she laid back and pulled the sheets up around herself as well.

"I... I'll try not to."

Twilight and Margaret rolled so their backs were against each other.

"Good night," said Twilight softly.

"And good night to you," she replied.

But the robin wasn't ready to sleep yet. She was still thinking about how she was in that golf cart with Mordecai and Rigby... when the weird stuff started happening.

...

Flashback from memory...

...

The golf cart was driving down the street from the Coffee Shop where she had just been picked up after work. Because of a strike, she couldn't take the bus home and she didn't feel like walking all that way. Somehow Mordecai sensed something was wrong and asked if they could just give her a ride home in their park service golf cart.

"It's no problem," said Mordecai as he looked back towards her from the passenger seat, "Rigby and I are glad we can give you a ride home from the Coffee Shop."

"Gives us an excuse to get away from that park for awhile," muttered Rigby before he got poked in the side with an elbow.

"You guys..." she said awkwardly, "You're so nice to me."

"Hey," he replied, "It's what us gentlemen do."

"Hey Mordecai," interrupted Rigby, "Are those storm clouds up ahead?"

He turned to look ahead of the cart and did notice some black clouds coming in towards them.

"It's good you didn't try to walk home," said the tall blue jay, "I think a rainstorm is coming in pretty fast. We better just drop you off and get back to the park as fast as we can."

Margaret leaned ahead a bit to get a good view of the clouds herself. It sure looked like heavy rain was coming very soon. It was also about then that the wind began to pick up from the direction of the clouds as well. A few minutes passed before she could see lightning flashing from one cloud to another.

"Can't you drive any faster?" asked Mordecai.

"This cart only has one speed," replied Rigby, "and it's not that fast! You know Benson isn't letting us use the good carts anymore!"

"Just because we made donuts on the front lawn last week," he grumbled back, "That's really unfair since Muscle Man double dared us to do it in the first place."

"Well you didn't have to," said Margaret.

"Yes we did," replied Rigby, "It's all part of the Dude Code."

"I suppose if he double dared you to jump off a cliff, you'd do that too?"

"Hey, we dudes have a sense of honor. We don't dare each other to do patently suicidal things. Just something you can get punished for if you get caught. What's the fun in life without a little risk?"

"I guess I don't understand the Dude Code," she sighed as she sat back in the seat.

Suddenly, the cart stopped.

"Just look at that wall of rain coming at us!" cried Rigby.

But by the time he was done saying it, the world around them was drowned out in a massive rainfall. She could hardly see a foot outside the edges of the cart, and some rain was splattering inside getting her mildly wet before she slid to the middle of the seat.

"We can't go any further until this downpour lets up!" called Mordecai.

"I'll just pull over so we don't get hit by some sunday driver!"

So the cart pulled over until the heard the sound of gravel under their wheels and stopped again. Several minutes passed as the rain hammered down on their little cart. Under the darkness created by the downpour. Then there was a massive crack of lightning and thunder somewhere close by making them all jump in their seats because it was like a flashbulb going off in their faces.

"That was close!" called Rigby.

"Too close!" agreed Mordecai.

"My ears are ringing!" yelled Margaret.

But as suddenly as the rains came, they stopped. Visibility suddenly returned to normal. The clouds began to break up as the massive storm front passed overhead. Then they began to look around, and something was off.

"How far did you pull off the road?!" asked Mordecai.

"It couldn't have been that far off!" replied Rigby.

"Then where's the road to town?! How did we get on this dirt road?!"

"I have no idea!"

"Well just drive in the direction we were going and I'm sure we're just coming into town from... another direction. It has to be it."

"Fine," he muttered as he started driving down the dirt road.

"Hey, is that an apple orchard?" asked Margaret as she looked to the side of the road.

"Apple orchard?!" replied Mordecai, "We should still be along the park border. How did we get so lost?!"

"How should I know?!" asked Rigby.

"There's some kind of big red horse working that apple orchard," she said as she pointed.

"I'm not stopping," he replied as he glanced in the horse's direction, "I think he's holding a shotgun or something."

So they kept driving until the came into a village they had never seen before. Every once in awhile, they saw a horse person, but some of them had wings as well, and some of them had a single horn on their forehead.

"This sure doesn't look like Kansas anymore!" muttered the tall blue jay.

"Hey!" said the smaller raccoon, "Is that some kind of house in a tree up ahead?!"

"Maybe there's elves in there baking cookies," he replied.

"Well it looks important so let's stop there and ask directions," offered Margaret.

"We don't need directions!" said the two guys as one.

"Men," she muttered under her breath.

So they stopped the cart, the guys got out, they argued about who's fault it was that they were lost, and when they went up to knock at the door, it already opened when they saw the violet girl with both wings and a horn looking back at them.

...

Meanwhile...

...

Dan was having a little trouble sleeping since his bed wasn't meant for three to sleep in comfortably. The raccoon and the blue jay seemed to have a little trouble sleeping as well.

"So what do you guys do for a living?" he asked them.

"We work at a park," replied Rigby.

"It's about the only thing we're good at doing," agreed Mordecai, "even though Benson thinks we aren't any good at that either."

"So your boss is a dick to you, is he?"

"He's really harsh," added Rigby, "and he's just getting over his temper problems. He was always blowing up in our faces... for the least little thing we did wrong!"

"Do it or YOU'RE FIRED!" said Mordecai in his best Benson impersonation.

"Keep it down," said Rigby quickly, "There's only that curtain between us and the girls."

"Oh sorry," he replied more quietly.

"So what are you doing for a living?" he asked as he looked at Dan.

"I'm unemployed at the moment," answered Dan, "Just doing little odd jobs so I can keep living in a library with some kind of weird characters. I have to say living here isn't dull." He paused to think before he continued, "I mean I live with an alicorn Princess, the Changeling Queen, a Fluffle Puff, and a small purple and green baby dragon."

"Doesn't sound any stranger than living with an angry gumball machine man, an old coot that looks like a lollipop, an immortal white yeti, a nasty green human with bloodshot eyes and a ghost with a hand on top of his head," grumbled Rigby.

"When you put it that way, my life doesn't sound so weird anymore," he answered, "but why keep working at the park when your boss is such a jerk to you?"

"It's really the only steady jobs we've ever had," replied Mordecai, "I don't know... if I could ever get another job now. When Margaret goes off to college, I'm... gonna be kind of lonely."

"Aren't we best buds?!" asked the raccoon.

"It's not the same as a girlfriend."

"You should make out with her at least once before she leaves," he replied as he rolled over in bed.

"What?!" he asked in dismay, "I... couldn't do that... with someone as cool as her."

"Your loss bro."

Dan yawned as he said, "Well let's get to sleep. Maybe things will be different in the morning."

Soon the guys were asleep.

...

The next morning...

...

Margaret awoke to see Twilight standing by the side of the bed. With her back to the bed, she could see that she had both wings and arms sharing the same back muscles. She wondered how such a person could even fly like that.

Twilight turned as she heard the robin stir and said "Good morning. I hope you don't mind if I use the bath first?"

With her turn, Margaret could see the modest, firm and perky breasts of the alicorn Princess. They were clearly at least a good cup size larger than her own. She could also see Twilight's pony tail as it slowly waved back and forth behind her butt.

"Go ahead," she said as she fully sat up, "I don't mind waiting." But as she started to leave, she said, "Wait up a second."

"What do you need?" she asked as she looked back.

"How can you fly?" asked the robin, "Your wings are too small to support your weight and your torso muscles are way too small for proper flying as well."

"Oh that's easy," she replied with a grin, "Alicorns and pegasus fly because it's part of our innate magic."

"Magic sounds like it's something really great," sighed Margaret.

"Well as long as some minotaur-esque monster isn't stealing out magic, it is."

She blinked as she asked, "What?"

"But don't worry," she replied, "He's back in his cage down in Tartarus."

"Tartarus?" asked the robin, "I thought that was like Greek hell."

"What's a greek?" she asked as she blinked, "And what's hell?"

"The place where people who led bad lives are punished forever... or at least until they're reborn."

"Huh, that does kind of sound like our Tartarus as well."

"Maybe different universes can have things in common."

"That would be an interesting theory to test," replied Twilight as she stretched her wings and folded her arms behind her head. Then she bent over to collect some clean clothes before she stood up again. "Well I'll be back in a little while," she said as she started heading down the stairs from her loft.

"I should probably wash out my clothes while Twilight's in the bath," she said as she got out of bed, "I wonder why I'm talking to myself out loud like this?" She thought about it as she gathered up the clothes she had been wearing the day before and went down the stairs in the same direction as Twilight. "I wonder if this library has a laundry room?"

She noticed the Changeling Queen heading for the kitchen as the Fluffle followed. While the first was wearing an almost transparent black lace nightie over her thong bikini underwear, the pink fluff ball wore naught but her pink fluff.

"Good morning," she said, "You have a laundry room around here somewhere?"

"A what?" asked Chrissy.

"The room you have your clothes cleaning machines are," she replied.

"There is no such thing," she replied, "You either wash them with magic or with a bucket and washboard."

"Wow, out culture has had fully automatic clothes washers and driers for more than a hundred years. That kind of stuff can only be found in antique museums."

"Yes," she replied, "I noticed you strange ponyless carriage parked out front."

"Oh, that's just an electric golf cart," answered Margaret.

"Electric? Golf? Cart?" she asked slowly.

"I guess that would... take too long to explain."

"I see."

"So... do you know this laundry cleaning spell?"

"I... uh... just give my clothes... to the Puff here," she said somewhat awkwardly, "When she stores things... in her coat, things just... come out clean."

"I guess that must be magic too?"

"Well that's the only explanation that really makes sense."

"I guess so," she said as she turned to the Fluffle, "Would you mind... cleaning my clothes too?"

She responded by blowing a series of long and short raspberries at the robin.

"Uh..." she said once the pink one stopped.

"That means 'yes, I will. Come back for them in fifteen to thirty minutes'."

"Well thank you so much," she replied. So she handed over the dirty clothes which vanished into the pink one's coat. "You must save a lot of money on detergent like this."

"De-what-gent?"

"Oh, that's like... soap for your clothes."

"Ah, how interesting." Then she paused before she asked, "Do your men normally walk around naked like... this one?" she asked as she nodded her head towards the Fluffle Puff.

"Well some of them do and some don't," she replied, "I guess it depends on how well fur covers... their... uh... manbits. Mordecai and Rigby can get by without an clothing, so they just don't normally wear them."

"How... curious."

The Fluffle Puff blew a short raspberry.

"She says 'Come to the kitchen and have some muffins with us'."

"That's very kind of you."

The Fluffle gasp and bounced towards the kitchen with great speed.

"She can get... a little worked up at times."

"I noticed."