Dan Vs... Stuff

by neorenamon

The three groups made their way north in pursuit of the Ice King and their hopes of rescuing Twilight from his frozen clutches. They all stayed close together because it was still dangerous to cross the land between Finn and Jake's home and the lair of the Ice King. Monsters could be expected to appear at any time and any place along the way.

The Fluffle Puff blew one long raspberry followed by a few short ones.

"Yes," agreed Chrissy, "If that frozen fool has harmed our Twilight in any way, I shall take great pleasure in harming him."

She blew a few short raspberries followed by a gasp.

"Yes, I wasn't so nice myself at one time. I tried to usurp Cadance's rightful place as a Princess and enslave Shining Armor as my own. But that was before I met you. Before I knew what love really was. I've... changed since then. I can see now that love is more than something you can exploit for just food or power."

...

Meanwhile, back at Finn and Jake's place

...

Mordecai and Margaret were searching Finn's stuff for some clothing she could wear. They were carefully searching through his dresser without disturbing things as much as possible.

"This is definitely the pad of a bachelor," mused the robin as she looked through the piles of clothing at the side of the bed, "Being naked like this is starting to get embarrassing."

"Well I think you look gorgeous like that," he replied softly.

She blushed a bit as she replied, "Oh go on. I'm not really that beautiful."

"No, I'm serious about that," he replied a little more forcefully.

"It's kind of funny how we've been living so close to each other for so long, but I had no idea that you thought of me as anything more than just casual friends."

"I was always afraid to tell you how I felt about you because I knew... the moment I said something... it was going to change. Probably going to change for the worse."

"It was partly my fault too," she sighed, "I should have noticed something before now, but I was wrapped up in my own problems. How I want go to College and get away from my Coffee Shop job. I want more than just working in the service industry."

"Funny, I've wanted more than just my park service job for some time as well."

"Maybe when I find a College town to move to, you can come with me? We could study together."

"I barely passed the public school system," he replied, "It takes some brains and education to get into College."

"They can teach you what you need to know even after you get there. There's nothing wrong with filling in gaps in your education after you're admitted," she said softly as she looked at him, "I'll even help you catch up for higher education courses."

"Wow," he answered, "I... I don't know what I've done to deserve someone as wonderful as you."

She stepped closer to him as she said, "You don't have to do anything. That's the point."

He turned and stepped towards her... just as he tripped on the throw rug. To his dismay, he pushed her back down on Finn's bed. Their beaks collided as if they were kissing. But then she wrapped her arms about him and dragged him into a real kiss. It lasted a few moments before she paused.

"Mordecai," she said softly, "Your hand is smooshing my breast."

He looked down in shock to realized that one hand was covering her breast as he used her body to prop himself up. It had all but covered her right tit even as it seemed like he was groping it.

"I'm so sorry!" he replied, but before he could pull his hand back, she put one of her hands on top of his. She stopped him from taking his hand back.

"It's okay," she said as she pressed his hand down a little more firmly, "You aren't hurting me or anything. In fact, it feels... kinda good."

"Really?" he asked as he leaned in to kiss her again.

After they stopped kissing again, she said, "I know this is sudden, but... I was wondering if..." Her voice trailed off into nothing.

"Uh-huh..."

"Could you..." she stammered as her cheeks turned red.

"Uh-huh..."

She looked away from him as she tried to continue. "Now that... we're like this..." she said as she pressed his hand down more firmly on her own breast.

He was blushing hotly as well as he felt her up.

"Hey Mordecai!" called Rigby as he came up the stairs, "Did you find any?.." He suddenly stopped and blinked as he saw Mordecai feeling up Margaret's breast with him on top. "Oh, are you two gonna do the nasty?!"

"Annnnd..." he sighed, "The moment has passed."

"Totally," she replied as he got off her.

...

Back on the way to confront Ice King

...

"So you want to know more about Equestria?" asked Starlight as she rode on the back of Lady Rainicorn. Fortunately, she knew a small translation spell that allowed her to understand Lady Rainicorn and speak back.

"Jolangmal ui se jongjog e daehae jom deo jasehi malhae," replied Lady.

"Oh yes, the three races of Equestria. There's others, but in the lands controlled by Celestia, the dominant pony races are Earth ponies, Pegasus and Unicorns."

"Daleun jongjog i ppunman anila iissda?"

"Yes, there are several other races who are either a minority or come from a different land altogether. Some are more welcome than others, like donkeys for example. They work hard and they're welcome almost everywhere in the land, but they don't seem to have as much interest in making large families. For some reason, they tend to be more... loners. On the other hand, changelings are feared and despised almost everywhere. They live off the love of others without really giving anything back in return."

"Haji dangsin-ui chingu geu changelings jung hanaibnida?"

"Yes, she was their Queen for a long time," she replied, "but now she's... different. She's still not accepted very well by other ponies, but now that she's under the protection of an Equestrian Princess, there's not much that can be done about it anymore... We all have those times that we're not... entirely proud of."

"Dangsin-i museun jis-eul?"

"I tried to force other ponies to live by the way I thought they should. They were agreeable at first, but then they began to rebel... because I was controlling them so tightly. I didn't realize that many of them wanted their cutie marks back until Twilight and her friends came along. They drove me away and everyone else got their marks back. But me... I never lost my mark. I couldn't give it up because it was my power... my gift with magic... that allowed me to take what made them special in the first place."

"Jeug, aju joh-eun solileulhaji anhseubnida."

"No," she sighed, "It wasn't very nice... Then I spent months plotting my revenge against them. Revising an old spell I found in the Canterlot Library just so I could go back in time and make Twilight suffer. Her and all of her friends. What I didn't know was that by stopping the Elements of Harmony from uniting, I was dooming Equestria to a number of horrible fates."

"Sigan gwa honlan e wiheomhan il-ida."

"Yes, time is something I should have never messed with," she said as she looked down, "but Twilight forgave me of my tresspasses and she took me under her wing in spite of all the bad things I tried to do to her... to her friends... to Equestria. That's... part of the reason I have to help get her back from this Ice King."

"Dangsin-eun beomjoe gwageoui dangsin-eul wihae yongseoleul chugu?"

"Yes, I want to make up for my past crimes... more than anything."

...

The Ice King sat at his table looking over his book of stories.

"Whak?" asked Gunter the penguin standing next to him

"Huh?" asked the Ice King as he looked down, "I couldn't sleep so I decided to add another chapter to my story about that alternate Land of Ooo I created. How I went to that land and how Fionna couldn't help but fall in love with me. But that nasty little friend of hers, Cake, keeps trying and failing to split us up."

"Wakk," he replied.

"Oh shut up," he muttered as he went back to writing, "Everyone's a critic."

He glanced down at his book again.

"Now where was I?" he asked of no one in particular, then he switched to a girly voice as he said, "'Oh no, Ice King!' said Fionna, 'You're not forcing yourself on me! I'm forcing myself on YOU!' She pushed the Ice King deeper into bed as she crawled atop him."

Gunter slapped his face with his fin.

"Hey!" he protested, "It could happen!"

"Waahk," he said.

"Princess Twilight?" asked the Ice King, "Of course I'll check on her in the morning. You think I'm irresponsible or something?" He paused before he blurt out, "Don't answer that!"

"WaaAAAk."

"Cocoa? I'd love some cocoa, Gunter," he said as the penguin began leaving, "Make sure you use plenty of those little marshmallows I live so much." Then he paused before adding, "And make sure it's not over 98 degrees this time! You know I hate it if you make it too hot!"

...

"Okay Jake," said Finn as he rode his orange stretchy dog, "We sneak in and free Twilight before any of the others get there. He should be asleep by now so this shouldn't be that hard."

"Maybe we could use the others as a distraction?" he asked back. With his legs stretched out a good hundred feet or so, they were coming up on the Ice King's fortress/castle at great speed.

"No way! I don't want anyone else involved in this any more than they have to! The Ice King can be dangerous when cornered and I don't want anyone else hurt fighting him!"

"Yeah! Once Twilight is freed, we can take them to the Candy Kingdom and see if PB can help them get back home with her science and stuff like that."

"If anyone can help them, it's my Princess Bubblegum."

"Uh... your Princess?" he asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"I mean... she's pretty much my... you know... Princess and stuff!" he protested, "You know what I meant to say, Jake!"

"I knew it!" said Jake, "You're on the rebound from Flame Princess and you want to get together with PB!"

"No way!!" he cried.

"I bet you that the Princess and I would be a great team too: The Adventures of PB & J!"

"That doesn't even make any sense," he replied, "Are you gonna write some silly fan story like the Ice King tried to?!"

"No way! I'm just spitballing over here!"

"Feh. No one would ever take something like that seriously," muttered Finn.