I saw nothing but blackness as I awoke. In recent years, I had developed a tendency to wake up and not open my eyes, as the first things that would usually pop into my head would be easier for me to visualize if my eyes were closed. There were too many such thoughts for me to list right off the bat. Trust me, however, they weren't anything unpleasant.

As my senses slowly came back to me, I knew that something wasn't right. Amidst the warmth that surrounded me under the blanket, I could feel an unfamiliar material caressing parts of my body. Plus, as I felt around with one of my arms, I realized that my bed was wider than normal, which led me to one conclusion - this was not my bed.

I could also feel a slight tugging sensation somewhere on the sheets, making me think that they were either tucked in really tightly or someone else was in bed with me, or at least sitting on it.

As I continued to lay on my back, I slowly let my eyes drift open, the brightness of the sun being the first to hit my corneas, instinctively causing me to shut my eyes. After about 5 seconds, I gradually opened them again, but this time, a vague, pink blur surrounded my vision. As my eyes continued to open, I realized that whatever was above me wasn't a blur, as I could immediately make out some distinct features that I knew I had seen somewhere before.

Right as my eyes completely came into focus, a high-pitched voice filled my ear canals. "You're awake!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, bouncing up and down on the bed.

The pink party pony's antics startled me greatly. "Whoa, what??? Pinkie??" I asked in a loud voice, "What are you doing here???"

Pinkie stopped bouncing as she giggled and replied, "Waiting for you to wake up and come to the party, silly!"

"Wh-What?" I asked again, still not completely awake, "What party?"

"The party for that game you and Twilight made!"

I paused for a few seconds. "Oh. That game?"

"Yepparooni!" Pinkie finished.

As the party pony finished speaking, I took a look at my surroundings, realizing that I was, in fact, not in my own bedroom, but what appeared to be one of the many sleeping quarters of Twilight's castle.

As I glanced around the room, the door opened, and in walked the very pony whom I had worked on the new edition of Cards Against Humanity with. "Pinkie," Twilight said, "Maud's here!"

"Whoopee!" Pinkie exclaimed in reply, "She's gonna have so much fun!"

As Pinkie audibly bounced out of the room, I looked at Twilight and wondered what the heck was going on, even though I kinda already knew the answer.

"Twilight, how did I get here?" I asked the princess.

"Oh, I just came your world and transported you here in your sleep!" she replied, "I was just too excited about this launch party that I didn't want to wait until you woke up, and I wanted to get you here as soon as I could because I've already arranged a game for you to play once we're finished!"

Though I was annoyed that I had been transported to Equestria without any advance notice, I couldn't help but grow excited at the prospect of another game, especially now that there was a version that ponies played.

"You have? Who's playing? Are you?"

"Actually, no. Spike and I have to go to Canterlot after the party. We're gonna be spending the afternoon with Cadance and Flurry Heart."

"Oh, nice!" I replied, "I hope you have a good time!"

"Thanks, but don't say that now! Come on! We gotta get downstairs for the launch party!"

"Oh, right," I replied. I then looked to my right, only to be slightly disgusted and creeped out by the fact that the clothes I had worn yesterday were sitting neatly folded on the bedside table. "Uhhh...Twilight, where did you find these?" I asked as I pointed to yesterday's outfit.

"Easy!" Twilight said while smiling, "They were at the bottom of your closet!"

When the princess finished, I couldn't help but shiver and blush. I could only imagine what she had seen in my closet... There was so much in there that I didn't want her to see...

"Uhhh...Thanks?" I replied, "I'll be down in five minutes."

By the time the party was over, Rainbow Dash, who had been anticipating the release of this new game more than most of the other ponies, had drank way too much cider. It was fine, though, because Twilight had not planned for her to play in the upcoming game. Still, it was hilarious to see the normally active and sleek pegasus acting so tipsy and foolish.

I had also met more ponies that, up until that point, I had only observed on the small screen. They included Starlight Glimmer, Maud Pie, and Trixie. Trixie, for some reason, had acted as if she was the slightest bit annoyed to be at the party, but since Twilight had invited her to try out the game, I concluded that the great and powerful unicorn wanted to just get it over with so she could get to her next show. Plus, she had just become friends with Starlight, so I knew she would have at least a small amount of comfort and/or familiarity.

My short conversation with Maud was mainly centered around the rocky material that Twilight's castle was made out of. I had assumed it was made out of lavender crystals, but she had proved me otherwise - to an extent.

As for Starlight, she only wanted to talk about how her lessons with Twilight were going, plus what she had been doing with Sunburst in her spare time. I was really happy with the way things had turned out for her.

Right after Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy helped haul a very drunken Dash out of the castle, Twilight re-entered her dining room - where the party had taken place - with a yellow-orange unicorn that I knew all too well, though not quite as a pony. The princess then introduced me to her former foe, and I was very glad to have the chance to meet her.

"Nice to meet you, Sunset," I said to the human-turned-unicorn as I shook her hoof.

"Same here," she replied, looking somewhat excited, "I really hope this game turns out to be something great. From what Twilight told me, this sounds a lot like a game that some of my friends at Canterlot High have."

"Oh?" I asked in return. I was surprised that the place she had come from had a game that was either Cards Against Humanity itself or some weird variation, like the one we were about to indulge in for the first time.

"Yep! I'm really eager to get started!" Sunset finished.

"Me, too!" Pinkie butted in, seeming to appear out of nowhere, "How about you, Maud," the party pony asked, turning to face her older sister.

"Can't wait..." the gray mare replied in her monotone voice, "Boulder says he's eager, as well," she finished while holding her pet rock in her right forehoof.

I found it slightly odd that we would be having a rock play this game with us, but at the same time, I knew I could lead to some outrageous shenanigans.

Just then, a lower male voice came from the doorway. "Twiley?" the voice asked, "Are you in here?" I instantly knew who it was.

"Shining Armor! You came!" Twilight said in excitement as she zoomed to the dining room's entryway and gave her BBBFF a big bear hug.

"Hey, sis!" the white stallion replied, "Great to see 'ya!"

"Quick! Get over here! There's someone I want you to meet!" The purple alicorn then brought the white unicorn over to me, and then I introduced myself to the Prince of the Crystal Empire. On the small screen and in real life, Shining Armor was a really nice guy. He looked like he had gotten an acceptable amount of rest on the way to Ponyville, as I knew that Flurry Heart had been keeping both him and Cadance up all night more than once.

"Sooo...Is everyone here?" I asked Twilight.

"Yep!" she replied, "You guys have a good game!"

"Wait, hang on, Twilight," I said, stopping the princess in her tracks, "Please tell me Spike wasn't somewhere in the castle while this was happening."

"Oh, don't worry, he's been out with the Cutie Mark Crusaders all morning."

"Good," I replied, relieved that the young dragon had not been around for a party regarding something he was too young for, "See 'ya, Twilight!" I said, waving goodbye.

"Bye, Twi!" Sunset followed up.

"BYE!" Pinkie Pie said, loudly.

"Bye, everyone!" the alicorn replied as she left the room and eventually the castle altogether.

After that, I was alone with the six ponies whom I would be playing Cards Against Equinity, the name Twilight and I had chosen, with. There was only one problem, though. There was no game in sight.

"Uhhh...Anypony know where...?"

"Right here!" Pinkie gleefully exclaimed, appearing to pull the box out of thin air.

I stood there frozen for a few seconds. "I'm not even gonna ask..." I thought to myself. "Alright," I continued, clapping my hands together once, "Let's see what we've got here." After Pinkie set the big, black box, which looked very similar to the long, rectangular box that I kept my own cards in, on the table, I opened it. Inside the box was a somewhat familiar sight. There was a large stack of white cards and a smaller stack of black cards. I knew none of them were blank cards with hoofwriting on them, but I knew that a few of my own custom cards from back home had been included in this game as actual cards that would come with every box set.

"Nice! This looks great!' I said, "Okay, let's go over the rules."

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Pinkie called out, waving her hoof frantically, "Can I tell them the rules?? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleeeeeeeease?????"

"Do you remember them all?" I asked the party pony.

"Of course! How could I forget the rules of a game that was so much fun?!?!?" she asked in reply.

"Good point..." I thought to myself. I then allowed Pinkie Pie to explain the rules of the game, all while I separated the white cards into separate stacks and placed the stack of black cards in the center.

Once Pinkie had finished, she had explained every rule except the rule for determining who goes first, as she was just like me in the sense that she didn't want to hear the rule out loud.

"You know, why don't you just start the game like you did last time?" Pinkie asked me.

"Is everypony okay with that?" I asked the others.

"Fine by me..." Maud flatly replied.

"Trixie thinks she can handle that," the blue magician said to me.

"Go ahead!" Starlight said.

"Alright, then," I continued, "Let's...Oh, wait, I forgot, we each need to draw 10 white cards." I felt silly for not reminding everypony to do that, as I had thought Pinkie would have taken care of that.

Each of us did as I said. As I looked at my opening cards, I was somewhat satisfied with what I had. Since I had helped Twilight make this game, all these cards were familiar to me, but even so, I knew that there would be several laughing fits in the next few minutes.

I looked around and saw the six ponies looking at their respective cards. Shining Armor, Sunset, and Trixie all had wide eyes, and, if it weren't for her lifestyle, I'm sure Maud would have done the same. Starlight, on the other hand, didn't have a terrified look on her face. "Hmmm...Not bad," she said. I had to assume she hadn't drawn any explicit or offensive cards.

All of a sudden, the three ponies who had wide eyes began laughing.

"Ha! I should have expected this!" Shining said, "Twiley told me all about what was in this game!"

"Same here!" Sunset said while giggling, "I didn't realize this was what Twilight was telling me about."

"Okay, Trixie apologizes for acting unamused earlier!" Trixie said, also giggling, "She didn't anticipate anything this funny to be involved!"

"No problem, Trixie," I said.

"This should be interesting..." Maud said, her tone and facial expression preventing me from seeing how she felt about what she had.

"Okay, everypony ready?" I asked, to which I received six sequential nods, "Sweet! Let's go!"

Author's Note

Fillies and Gentlecolts, back by popular demand, I bring you the third installment of this series. I know I said I most likely wouldn't do this, but after the success of my last two stories, I figured I may as well do it all again.

Here are several things to note:

Any custom card of mine, like before, will be written in green text.
Any actual CAH card that was modified to fit this version of the game will be written in blue text.
Any custom card of mine that was modified in the same fashion will be written in pink text.
Any CAH card modified to the point where none of the original text exists will be written in orange text. I will make a note at the end of any chapter that involves any of these cards saying what they were originally.

With that out of the way, sit back, relax (or at least try to), and enjoy the show!

Edit (4-30-16): I honestly had no idea of the kinship of Starlight and Trixie when writing this story, but I have edited this chapter slightly to where it takes place after "No Second Prances".