Not wanting to displease anypony by waiting any longer, I got right into starting the eighth round by drawing the next black card. Once it was in front of my face, I said, "I'm Miss Baltimare, and if I could make the world better by changing one thing, I would get rid of _____."

"This," Shining Armor said with a hint of determination in his voice.

"Mine should be logical enough to beat all of yours..." Maud flatly stated as she gave me her card.

"Trixie's card is not as logical as it is heavily desired..." the blue unicorn said as she did the same as the gray earth pony.

"Same here," Starlight said in reply to her newest friend.

Pinkie and Sunset soon gave me their cards, rendering it possible for me to begin reading off the results. "I'm Miss Baltimare," I continued, "And if I could make the world better by changing one thing, I would get rid of dying. If only that was possible... I would get rid of a slightly shittier parallel universe. I think there'd be bigger problems than that. I would get rid of a low standard of living. Wow... Well played. I would get rid of meaningless sex."

"Seems legit..." Sunset said.

"I would get rid of pedophiles."

"Well, then... Looks like mine's not winning at this point," Starlight said, "That one works way too well."

"You're right, it does," I replied, "Anyway, I would get rid of erectile dysfunction. Hahaha!!! Yes! Who had that one?"

"Wait, really?? That's mine!" Starlight exclaimed, looking and sounding relieved.

"Rats..." Trixie mumbled.

"Okay, let's keep going," Sunset said as the next card became enveloped in her aura, "Having problems with _____? Try _____!"

"Mine's a throwaway..." Shining said, sounding very distressed.

"Mine's probably not gonna work, either," Pinkie said. My combo, on the other hand, I felt could easily win it all.

Sunset soon had twelve cards in front of her. "Alright," she continued, "Having problems with silence? Try the glass ceiling. I suppose that could work. Having problems with moderate-to-severe joint pain? Try unrelenting genital punishment." A couple of us giggled at the sad irony. "Having problems with accidentally hitting yourself in the balls? Try ripping into a stallion's chest and pulling out his still beating heart. Nah. Having problems with getting all offended? Try take-backsies."

"How the heck does that work?" I asked.

"It doesn't," Sunset replied, "Anyway, having problems with interspecies marriage? Try a big black dick! There we go! Having problems with boogers? Try a zero-risk way to make 2,000 bits from home. Nope. Who had the one with the big, black dick?"

"I did!" I replied, grabbing the card form the unicorn to my left. Getting an Awesome Point this early in the round gave me hope that this would finally be the round where I would get more than just one.

Once I had my point in my stack of other points, Starlight drew the next card. "Roses are red, violets are blue..." she began, "...I think of _____ when I think of you."

"Hehehe..." I laughed, evilly. This card was notorious for pitching out some insane results back home.

"Okay, I don't see any reason for this one to lose," Shining said as he gave his card to his sister's student.

"Okay, everyone ready?" Starlight eventually asked. She received six nods, so she turned her attention to the six cards she had just shuffled. "Roses are red, violets are blue, I think of taking a stallion's eyes and balls out and putting his eyes where his balls go and his balls in his eye sockets when I think of you. Ewww! What?!? No!" She immediately tossed the card aside. "Roses are red, violets are blue, I think of poor life choices when I think of you."

"Oooooo..." Pinkie said.

"That...that hurts..." Sunset spoke.

"It certainly does..." Trixie replied.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, I think of sexual tension when I think of you. Ouch... Roses are red, violets are blue, I think of balls when I think of you. Hmmm... Depends on whose point of view this is from. Anyway, roses are red, violets are blue, I think of..." Her eyes immediately went wide while her cheeks turned as red as Big Macintosh. "...I think of mom when I think of you..." she finished.

"HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! NO WAY!" I yelled while I loudly laughed with most of the others. Whenever the 'mom' card showed up, the first thing to pop into my mind was the card that read, 'When all else fails, I can always masturbate to _____.' I had played 'mom' four times in that exact scenario, and I won 3 of those times, only because the Card Czar that one time was too literal to see the humor. One of my buddies had also play 'mom' in this scenario, which left me dumbfounded, but he lost to the card, 'how awesome I am'.

"Okay, I'll admit that was a little funny," Starlight continued, "Anyway, roses are red, violets are blue, I think of grandpa's ashes when I think of you. Okay... Not this time. I think I'll go with... Nah, I'll go with poor life choices."

"WHAT?!?!?" Shining screamed, "COME ON!!!"

"What did you play?" I asked the livid stallion.

"Mom!" he angrily replied. Never in my life had I seen Shining Armor so competitive. Neither Twilight nor Cadance had ever said anything about this side of him.

"Well, it just didn't work this time..." Starlight said. Shining only groaned in reply as we all continued looking at him.

After a short silence, Maud turned back to Starlight and said, "That was mine..."

As Maud was being given her Awesome Point, Trixie took possession of the next black card. "Why can't I sleep at night?" she asked.

Pinkie suddenly looked rather hesitant to put her card in. She eventually did, but not before whispering, "Please don't hate me for this, Trixie..."

"We'll see about that..." the blue magician replied as the rest of the cards were given to her, "Anyway, why can't I sleep at night? Indescribable loneliness."

"Wow..." I said.

"Well, at least not anymore!" Starlight said in attempted encouragement as she wrapped a foreleg around her most recent friend.

Trixie gave a light smile in reply. "Trixie thanks you wholeheartedly, Starlight Glimmer," she responded, "Anyway, the sweet song of sword against sword and the braying of mighty war beasts. Maybe. Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor."

"Ha!" Pinkie laughed.

"Wow, I can't imagine what it'd be like to be kept up all night by an urge to burp!" Sunset said.

"Neither can I..." Maud replied, emotionlessly.

"The euphoric rush of strangling a drifter. Clever, but not right this moment. Soup that is too hot. Trixie doesn't think so. Being a busy adult with important things to do. Okay, that was a valiant effort, but the winner is indescribable loneliness."

"Whoopee!!!" Pinkie cheered, throwing her forehooves in the air, "Now I'm tied with Shining and Sunset!"

"Aw, come on!" Shining exclaimed in frustration. Sunset, on the other hand, didn't seem taken aback by the fact that she was now in a three-way tie for the lead. I had to assume that one of the reasons was because one of ponies at 9 points was the upcoming Card Czar.

After regaining his composure, Shining took the next card in his magic and read it aloud. "Here at the Academy for Gifted Fillies and Colts," he said in a less-than-optimistic tone, "We allow students to explore _____ at their own pace."

"Mine's a throwaway," Sunset said, most likely sad at the fact that she probably wouldn't be winning the game right now.

"Heh...This 'oughta be funny..." I said as I gave my card to the only other male at the table.

"Okay, let's do this," Shining continued, "Here at the Academy for Gifted Fillies and Colts, we allow students to explore two whales fucking the shit out of each other at their own pace. Ha! I like that one! We allow students to explore my inner demons at their own pace."

"Ooooo..." Trixie said.

"We allow students to explore having a penis at their own pace."

"Hahaha!" Sunset laughed, throwing her head back slightly.

"We allow students to explore anal fissures like you wouldn't believe. Maybe. We allow students to explore the art of seduction at their own pace."

"Oh, Celestia!" Starlight exclaimed while laughing, "That was too good!"

"We allow students to explore laying an egg at their own pace. Nah. Who had the two whales?"

"I did!" Starlight replied, using her magic to claim her Awesome Point.

"Phew..." Shining quietly said to himself.

"You really wanna win this, don't you?" I asked the stallion.

"Oh, yeah," Shining competitively replied.

As our small conversation ended, Maud took the next card in her forehoof and said, "Every Hearth's Warming, my uncle gets drunk and tells the story about _____."

"Oooo, that's a toughie!" Pinkie said in response as she glanced at her 10 cards, "Our uncle never comes over for Hearth's Warming!"

Given that information, I knew that each card played would have an equal chance at winning, so I picked a card that sounded suspicious and threw it in.

The gray earth pony soon had all of the cards she needed to continue. "Every Hearth's Warming," she began again, "My uncle gets drunk and tells the story about a for-real lizard that spits blood from its eyes." There were one or two chuckles at that. I knew that those types of lizards existed at home, but I didn't realize until Twilight found this card while we were making this game that they existed on this planet, as well.

"Every Hearth's Warming," Maud continued, "My uncle gets drunk and tells the story about a windmill full of corpses."

"That would be rather disturbing to hear each and every year," Trixie mentioned.

"I agree," Sunset replied.

"Every Hearth's Warming, my uncle gets drunk and tells the story about being popular and good at sports. Well, then... He must have been quite the guy in high school. Every Hearth's Warming, my uncle gets drunk and tells the story about destroying the evidence."

"Oooooo..." came the voices of several of us.

"Every Hearth's Warming, my uncle gets drunk and tells the story about growing a pair."

"Haha!!" Starlight laughed.

"Every Hearth's Warming, my uncle gets drunk and tells the story about savagely beating a mascot. That works, but it was read too late. Who had destroying the evidence?"

"That's me!" I exclaimed, happy that this was, in fact, the first round where I got more than one point.

Pinkie then enthusiastically grabbed the next card and said, "Coming to Bridleway this season, _____: The Musical."

"This," I said, confidently as I gave Pinkie my card.

"No, this," Trixie said in response as she did the same thing.

"Actually, mine's going to put all of yours' under a pile of rocks..." Maud flatly said as she gave her card to her younger sister.

"Okay, what do we have here?" Pinkie asked herself as she began to read off the cards, "Coming to Bridleway this season, Crippling Social Anxiety: The Musical. Hmmm... Nah. They wouldn't have the courage to come out on stage, anyway. Coming to Bridleway this season, A 12-way: The Musical." Once again, Maud only smiled as the rest of us laughed hysterically.

"Oh, that's brilliant!" Starlight exclaimed amidst her laughing fit.

"Okay, you know what?" Shining said, also chuckling excessively, "I really wouldn't mind losing to that one."

Once we all got rid of all the giggles, Pinkie continued. "Coming to Bridleway this season, Celebrity Gangrape: The Musical."

"Ha!" Sunset laughed, "I'd sure love to see that!"

"Coming to Bridleway this season, Sudden Penis Loss: The Musical."

"Hahaha!!!" Shining laughed again, "That would probably win comedy of the year!"

"Coming to Bridleway this season, Letting Everyone Down: The Musical. Awww... That's sad... Anyway, coming to Bridleway this season, Police Brutality: The Musical."

"Ouch..." Trixie said.

"Yeah, that won't work. I think we can all agree that a 12-way was the best. Who had that one?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed, elated that I had somehow made it within one of the three-way tie.

After I added the black card to my stack, I asked, "I know I said we'd be going on nonstop, but does anyone need to do anything before we continue?"

"Nah, just keep going," Shining said rather quickly. I had to assume that he was frustrated with being at 9 points since round 6.

"Uhhh...okay?" I replied, "Let's go."

Author's Note

Eight rounds have passed, and here are the scores:

Me: 8
Sunset: 9
SG: 7
Trixie: 6
SA: 9
Maud: 8
Pinkie: 9