Mythic Rule 63

Thread wove in-and-out of the piece of fabric, guided by unicorn magic. Surrounded by the user's magical aura, the needle dove in and dove out, going in and then lifting out once more. They were rapid oscillations, the product of a very experienced and meticulous hoof. The needle and thread went exactly where they were needed, and they never strayed away from their destination in the slightest. It was the work of a master.

Elusive put the needle down, letting it rest on the table. Lifting a handkerchief out of his breast pocket, he wiped his brow with it. This was harder work than he had originally thought it would be. Much harder. Maybe he should up his fees.

It was the Mayor's vest. He had an important meeting that he needed it for, but it had a tear in it. Naturally, he had come to the town tailor to get it fixed. That was Elusive.

But where he had torn it was awkward, hard to mend. The white unicorn lifted his glass of cognac to his mouth, taking a small sip. This was hard work. It required the utmost and complete concentration. The needle lifted up into the air again, drifting carefully and slowly towards the hole in the fabric. To fix this spot, without it being apparent that there was a hole to begin with, would be very very difficult. Even the slightest jar or interruption would-

"Elusive! Elusive! ELUSIVE!" screamed a little colt, crashing down the stairs like a herd of buffalo.

Elusive flinched from the noise. His needle rocketed into the vest, digging into the seam and tearing open another hole.

He leaned back into his seat, staring at the vest with his mouth hanging open. His glasses slid off of his face and fell to the ground. Swearing silently and profusely to himself, he slowly turned around to the source of the noise.

His little brother stood there, behind him, sitting down on his haunches. He was a white unicorn, like Elusive, but with a dual-colored mane of lavender and pink instead of stark purple. He sat there, just smiling at his older brother.

Elusive put on his best smile and said, as sweetly as he could manage, "Yes, Sugar Beau?"

"Elusive," said the younger brother, "Can I go play outside? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

Elusive's smile turned into a bemused grin, and he turned around back to his work, picking the needle back up again. "No," he said.

Sugar Beau's face was enveloped with an over-sized frown, and he started whining. "But whhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyy," he said.

"Because I hate you," said Elusive.

"What," said the little colt, surprised, "Really?"

"No," said the older brother, "But that's what you were going to say next."

Sugar Beau stood up, stamping his hooves on the ground. He said, "But whhhhhhhyyyyyyyyy?! It's pretty outside. I want to go play with Apple Buck and Scooterloo!"

"No," said Elusive.

Sugar Beau screamed, "Why?!"

"Because I'm supposed to be watching after you," said Elusive, beginning to repair the new hole he just made, "And mother and father both said that you needed to practice the violin, today."

Sugar Beau frowned again, sitting back down and pouting. He said, "But I don't wanna! I hate the stupid violin. It's so boring!"

"No," said Elusive again, repeating himself, "Now go back upstairs and practice."

The little unicorn turned around and starting walking back upstairs. He said, "You're a jerk."

"I know," said Elusive, barely paying attention to his brother's exasperations, "I'm the worst brother ever. Now go upstairs and practice the violin. Don't make me call mother and father, Beau."

Sugar Beau huffed and puffed, like a little wolf, and stomped up the stairs as loudly as he could. Elusive heard him stomp all the way upstairs and slam the door.

Smiling to himself, he said, "Finally, some peace and quiet. Now...back to work."

In his room, Sugar Beau paced back and forth, grumbling to himself. His violin sat on the bed, untouched. He hadn't played with it all day; he hated it. Moaning and groaning, he shuffled over to the window and perched himself up in it, leaning his head on his hooves. He dreamt about all the fun he could be having today, if he weren't stuck inside at his brother's house.

Suddenly, a soft plink sounded off the window. Looking down at the ground, Beau saw two other little colts down there. One was yellow, with a red mane and red bandanna. The other was a light brown color, with small wings and a fuchsia mane. The little pegasus picked another rock up off the ground and tossed it against the window

Beau smiled and threw the window open, just in time for it to zoom up and hit him in the head. He grabbed his forehead, saying, "Ow!"

"Sorry, Beau," said the little pegasus on the ground.

"Come on out, Beau," said the little earth pony.

Sugar Beau, still rubbing his head, said to them, "I can't come outside, today."

The little pegasus frowned, sticking out his tongue, said, "Dude, why not?"

"It's because of my lame-ass brother," said the little unicorn, becoming angry enough to swear, "He won't let me out, today. He says I have to practice the stupid violin."

"Why," said the earth pony on the ground.

"I don't know," said Beau, "Because mom and dad want me to learn it, or something. I hate it."

"Well, then," said the brown pegasus, scratching his chin, "Why don't you just sneak out? Come hang out with Apple Buck and me."

Beau shook his head, saying, "No way! He'll kill me if I sneak out of the house."

Apple Buck jumped up and down, saying excitedly, "Come on, dude! Scooterloo had a great idea about what we can try, today! It's sure to give us our cutie marks! You HAVE to be there for it!"

"Really," said the white unicorn, a smile suddenly appearing on his face, "Like, for real? You guys have a great idea?"

Scooterloo grinned broadly and shook his head, saying, "Yeah, dude! Totally! I read about it in a book, yesterday! We're totally going to get our cutie marks, today!"

Sugar Beau's smile widened, and he said, "Awesome!" Then the smile disappeared, and he said, "But I can't leave."

Apple Buck said, "Just sneak out! We'll go get out cutie marks, and then you can sneak back in. Elusive'll never even notice you're gone."

Beau said, nervously, "Really? Think so?"

"No," said Scooterloo, "But you want to get your cutie mark today, don't you?"

"Heck yeah, I do," said the little unicorn, stomping a hoof on the windowsill.

"Then jump down," said the pegasus.

"Well, okay," said Beau, not needing much convincing. Crawling onto the windowsill, he timidly and cautiously worked his way off of it and onto the roof of Carousel Boutique. Almost losing his footing in the process, he managed to keep his balance and slowly walked down the slanted rooftop. His legs shaking, his teeth gritted, he steadily made his way down.

Until he got about half-way. That's when he lost it all and rolled down the shingles, swearing profusely and trying to slow himself down. It was all to no avail, and Sugar Beau toppled off of the roof and fell to the ground with a loud thud, kicking up plumes of dust into the air.

Scooterloo and Apple Buck ran over to their friend. Standing over him, they looked down.

"Dude," said the little pegasus, "Are you all right?"

Apple Buck smiled and gave a little hop, saying, "Beau! That was totally kickass! Look! You're not dead!"

The little white unicorn picked himself up off the ground, staggering and seeing stars. He said, "Yeah, guys. I'm fine. Thanks."

Apple Buck looked at his friends, saying, "So what's next?"

"We get our cutie marks," screamed Scooterloo, excitedly, "Come on. We need to go to the library and get some books!"

Helping their friend get his footing and walk a few feet, The Cutie Mark Crusaders started their journey toward the town library: Dusk Shine's home. It was an extremely pleasant day. The weather patrol had made it so. Not a single cloud was in the sky; nothing marred the perfect blue. The sun shined proudly and brightly, making the temperature warm and pleasant.

The three boys chattered the entire time to their destination.

"So what exactly are we going to try, today," asked Sugar Beau.

Apple Buck smiled broadly, saying, "Scoots had a great idea! He was reading about Trottingham for that school report, yesterday, and-"

"Soccer hooligans," yelled the little pegasus, jumping up in the air and buzzing his wings.

Beau frowned and arched an eyebrow, quizzically. He said, "What's a soccer hooligan?"

Scooterloo shrugged his shoulders, saying, "I don't know, but there's a lot of them in Trottingham. At least, that's what my book said, but it didn't tell me what they were."

"So we're going to the library to check some books out on them," said Apple Buck, expounding further on their idea, "Dusk Shine's sure to know what they are, and he can help us find some books on them."

Beau frowned again, saying, "Does it involve zip-lining? I hate zip-lining."

The little pegasus said, "I don't know. That's what we're going to find out. We've never tried being soccer hooligans before, though. I figured we could try it out. Maybe it's our thing, you know?"

"Maybe," said Beau, slowly, "Maybe it is."

"Yeah," said Apple Buck, "I'm thinking it might be. It sure does sound like fun, whatever it is."

"I love fun things," said Sugar Beau, smiling.

"Yeah, so do I," said Scooterloo.

"But," said the white unicorn, turning his smile into a frown again, "What's soccer?"

"I think it's a sport," said the earth pony, "Applejack said it's a sport that pansies play in other places in Equestria."

Beau frowned, saying, "What? I don't want to be a pansy!"

Scooterloo said, "Don't worry, Sugar Beau. Maybe hooligans play soccer different than other ponies. Maybe they aren't pansies."

Apple Buck said, "Yeah, dude, don't worry. My brother's an asshole. Maybe he just hates soccer. The only sport he likes is hoofball."

"Yeah, dude," said Scoots, "I'm not worried about it. I want to see it all for myself. Dusk Shine will help us. He knows everything. I'm sure he'll be able to tell us all about soccer hooligans."

Sugar Beau said, "Well, now's our chance to ask him. We're here."

The boys found themselves standing before the Ponyville library, home of Dusk Shine. It was a large building hollowed out of and built upon a large tree, the largest tree in Ponyville. Scooterloo pointed at it and said, excitedly, "Look! We're here! Let's go inside!"

So, the three boys walked up to the library door. Scooterloo, leading the three of them (since it was his idea), knocked on the door. After a few moments, no one came to the door. Beau and Apple Buck looked at each other. Sugar Beau frowned.

"Maybe no one's here," said the little unicorn.

"That don't make no sense," said Apple Buck, "It's a library. Dusk Shine's the librarian. Why wouldn't it be open? It's the middle of the day. It ain't a holiday."

"You're right. That doesn't make much sense. Give it another knock, Scoots," said Beau.

Scooterloo shrugged his shoulders and gave another knock, much louder this time.

The door immediately swung open. The trio was greeted with a figure at their own height: a little purple dragon wearing a blonde wig. She stood in the doorway, looking bored, the door still in her hand.

Apple Buck said, "Hey, Barb!"

Barb (short for Barbara) looked at each of them then said, "Hey, guys. What's up?"

Scoots chimed in, saying, "Hey, Barb. We-"

"I'm going by the name Cathy, now," she said, interrupting him.

Scoots turned to his three friends, with a quizzical look on his face. Sugar Beau just shrugged his shoulders. Apple Buck shook his head. The pegasus turned back towards the librarian's assistant, saying, "Okay...Why?"

Barb/Cathy shrugged her shoulders, saying, "I don't know. I like the name. Just decided to change it."

"When did this happen," asked the little pegasus.

"This morning," said Barb/Cathy.

Scoots turned back to his friends, who just shrugged their shoulders. The orange pegasus turned back to the baby dragon, saying, "Okay...Cathy. We-"

"Hey, dude, where's your brother," she asked.

"Me?" asked Apple Buck.

"No," she said, "Sugar Beau."

"Oh," said the white unicorn, "He's back at the store, working on something, I think."

"He's not with you?" she asked.

The three of them shook their heads.

Barb/Cathy turned away from them, staring off into space with a smile and ticking the edges of her claws together. She said, "Well, that's too bad. I wouldn't mind seeing him, today. I would not mind one bit."

Scooterloo looked back at his friends, his entire face plastered with a confused and questioning look. He mouthed the words 'what the fuck.' Apple Buck just shrugged his shoulders and frowned.

"Anyways..." said Scoots, trailing off, "We're here to check out some books. And we need to ask Dusk Shine something."

Barb/Cathy snapped out of her fantasies, being pulled back into stark reality. She turned back to them, saying, "Oh. Well, whatever. Come in. It's a public library. It's not a holiday or anything. We're open."

The Cutie Mark Crusaders all smiled and filed in. Barb/Cathy closed the door behind them. The inside of the library was large, with every wall being completely filled to the brim with books of all kinds, about all kinds of subjects. Normally, the three of them avoided this place like the plague (who wanted to read or learn stuff?), but dire situations called for dire measures.

Today, they would read.

And they would like it.

As soon as the door closed, the three little colts scattered, tearing through the library like a hurricane, trying to find any books they could on soccer or hooligans. Not entirely sure where such a category of books would be held, they simply decided to go through all of them, starting at the beginning of each shelf and tearing through everything they could get their hooves on. Any book that did not pertain to soccer or hooliganry was unceremoniously tossed onto the ground.

Barb/Cathy just watched the mayhem, uncaring and unworried. Her expression was one of disinterest and boredom.

After a few minutes of this, a purple unicorn walked down the staircase from his room and into the main library. Seeing all the chaos and hearing all the noise, he let out a panicked yelp as soon as it all came into full view.

Dusk Shine panicked, seeing the three little colts destroying the library, leaving only destruction and misery everywhere they went. He screamed, "What is going on?!"

The three of them stopped, immediately, looking over at him. Barb/Cathy walked over to Dusk Shine, casually. She waved, saying, "Hi, Dusk Shine."

The purple unicorn immediately turned on her, saying, "Barb! What is-"

"Cathy," she said, cutting him off.

"What?" asked Dusk Shine, looking confused.

"My name is Cathy, not Barb."

"Okay...then. Well, Cathy. What is going on," asked the bewildered star pupil of Solaris.

"They're looking for some books or something," she said, bored, "I dunno."

Dusk Shine was taken aback. Gritting his teeth, he said, "Barb! What's the point-"

"Cathy," she said, correcting him.

Dusk Shine sighed, looking up at the ceiling. He said, "Cathy. What's the point of leaving you in charge if you aren't going to actually be in charge?"

She shrugged her shoulders, saying, "I don't know, dude. I just clean and cook and shit. I don't know how to look after a library."

Dusk Shine's eyes opened wide in disbelief. He said, "What? It's not hard! You just make sure that ponies don't tear everything up! You help them find what they want!"

Barb/Cathy just shrugged her shoulders. She turned to the three little colts, saying, "Okay, boys. What are you looking for?"

Scooterloo chimed in, saying, "Books on soccer! And hooligans!"

The baby dragon turned back towards the librarian, saying, "Yeah, see? Soccer and hooligans. I've got this under control."

Dusk Shine almost went into a seizure. He looked panically over all the mess. Books covered the tables. Book were tossed by the dozen onto the floor. Books were falling off the shelves, being tossed by the three little colts. Everything was falling apart. Tables and chairs were overturned. It was ruin. The entire library was ruin.

"No! No, you don't, Barb!" screamed the unicorn.

"Cathy," said the dragon.

Dusk Shine lost it. His eyes went crazy, and he screamed, "Your name is not Cathy! It's Barbara!"

Barb/Cathy frowned and crossed her arms, saying, "You can't tell me what my name is, Dusk Shine. You didn't name me. Nobody asked me what I wanted my name to be, when I was born."

"You couldn't talk," screamed the purple unicorn, scarcely believing the absurdity of the conversation, "We couldn't ask you what you wanted your name to be!"

Barb/Cathy pushed Dusk Shine away, holding her arms out, trying to keep him away. She said, "Listen, dude. No need to yell. All I'm saying is that I didn't get to pick my name, so I picked it today. It's not Barb. It's Cathy."

"Not Catherine," said Dusk Shine, looking at her funnily.

The baby dragon shook her head, saying, "No, dude. Not Catherine. That sounds like my mother's name. It's Cathy."

Dusk Shine slammed his hooves on the ground, saying, "Fine! Whatever! Cathy! It's Cathy! I don't care!"

Barb/Cathy smiled, nodding her head. She said, "Yeah. Now, you've-"

Dusk Shine screamed, "Why is MY LIBRARY in ruins?!"

Barb/Cathy shrugged her shoulders, saying, "Because ponies are looking for books? We ARE open, Twilight. It's not a holiday or any-"

"What did you call me?" asked the librarian, giving his assistant a quizzical look.

"Twilight," she said.

"Why?"

"Because I like the name," said Barb/Cathy, rolling her eyes, "And since you love that book series so much, I decided that maybe everypony could start calling you-"

Dusk Shine immediately erupted into nervous laughter, trying to change the topic of conversation. He said, "Ahahahaha! I haven't read those books! I have no idea what you're talking about!"

Scooterloo looked over at Apple Buck. The latter just shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.

Barb/Cathy looked at the purple unicorn strangely, narrowing her eyes. She said, "What are you talking about? You read them all over about two weeks. They're not bad books. I mean, they aren't the best-written things ever, but they-"

Dusk Shine plunged a hoof into his assistant's mouth, plugging it up. He lowered his head to her level, saying, "Go upstairs, Barb-"

The little dragon mumbled something, with the unicorn's hoof in her mouth.

Dusk Shine rolled his eyes, saying, "Go upstairs, Cathy. Go clean something. I'll take care of things down here."

Barb/Cathy mumbled something else, holding up a claw.

"Stop whining and just go," said the purple unicorn, removing his hoof with a pop.

The dragon just shrugged her shoulders and started walking upstairs, saying, "Fine, whatever, Twilight. I'll go clean the toilets or something. Whatever."

The purple unicorn sighed, saying, "My name isn't Twilight!"

Barb/Cathy shrugged her shoulders as she reached the top of the stairs, saying, "Whatever, Twilight."

The sound of a door being closed could be heard, and Dusk Shine breathed a sigh of relief. Now, it was time to get things orderly again. He turned towards the three boys, putting on the absolute best smile he could manage.

He said, "So, my little ponies! Thank you for stopping by! What can I help you with?"

The three little colts looked at each other with looks of disgust, sticking out their tongues. Scooterloo said, "Why do you call us that?"

Apple Buck said, "Yeah. It's a really gay name."

Dusk Shine was horrified. He inhaled loudly, taking a step back. He said, "Apple Buck! Do not say words like that! Being-"

"Yeah, dude," said Sugar Beau, jumping into the conversation, "It's not nice. Elusive's gay, and I love him-"

"Boys," said Dusk Shine firmly, taking control of the conversation again, "It's not nice, using words like that derogatorily. Being gay isn't bad, and you shouldn't use that word to describe bad things."

Sugar Beau nodded along, smiling. Apple Buck said, "Fine, whatever. I'm sorry. I won't-"

"Don't make me tell Applejack," threatened the purple unicorn.

Apple Buck frowned, sitting down on the ground. His eyes went wild, and he grabbed his cheeks with his hooves, sagging them down. He said, "No! Don't tell Applejack! He'll whup my ass if he hears me using bad words!"

Dusk Shine winced, deciding to ignore the use of the word 'ass.' He would have to talk to Applejack later about using foul language in the presence of his little brother. It was breeding bad habits. He said, "I won't tell him if you stop using swear words."

"Fine," said the little earth pony, "I'll stop! Just don't tell Applejack!"

The purple unicorn smiled and nodded, going back to the original topic. He said, "So what can I help you boys find, today?"

Scooterloo smiled and said loudly, hanging from a bookshelf, "We're looking for books on soccer!"

"And hooligans," chimed in Sugar Beau.

Dusk Shine was taken aback, shaking his head. He said, "Soccer and hooligans? Whatever for?"

Apple Buck said, "We're going to get our cutie marks for being soccer hooligans! We want to learn as much about them as we can!"

Dusk Shine frowned, looking at the little crusaders curiously while he took a step back. He said, "Why in Equestria would you want to be soccer hooligans?"

"Because," said Scooterloo, proud of himself for thinking up the idea, "We've never tried it before, and there are lots of soccer hooligans in Trottingham. I'm sure there are plenty of ponies with cutie marks of it!"

The purple unicorn rolled his eyes and sighed. He said, "Boys, I hate to tell you this, but soccer hooligans are bad ponies."

Sugar Beau didn't like the sound of that. He frowned and said, "Really? Why?"

"Because, boys," said Dusk Shine, "They cause riots and destroy things. They're a real menace."

Scooterloo and Apple Buck looked at each other, smiling. Destroy things? Cause riots? That sounded awesome! They both knew what the other was thinking. They were both thinking this was going to be more fun than they original thought.

"Soccer hooligans sound awesome!" screamed the little pegasus, flapping his wings as fast as he could, jumping into the air.

Dusk Shine frowned and shook his head, saying, "No boys! They aren't! No pony ever got his cutie mark by being a hooligan."

Apple Buck asked, "Then why do they do it?"

"Because," said Dusk Shine, thinking very hard about his next few words, "Sometimes ponies get really excited over things, sometimes, you know..."

The three little crusaders all sat down in front of Dusk Shine, listening carefully to everything he said. Apple Buck and Scooterloo smiled; Sugar Beau frowned.

The purple unicorn sat down, too. He said, "Well, they get really excited, as a big crowd. Then, sometimes things don't go so well for them, or sometimes they go too well, and so this big crowd will get TOO excited. Then, they'll go around and get caught up in themselves and start destroying things."

Scoots and Apple Buck looked at each other, excitedly. Beau just frowned deeper, his ears and tails drooping.

The little pegasus stood up, almost jumping up. He said, "Really?! They do all that?"

Dusk Shine's eyes narrowed. He said, "I don't think you boys are really understanding what I'm saying. Maybe if you read some about them, you'll see how bad they really are."

Apple Buck stood up too, saying, "Yeah, Dusk Shine. We need to read some books. That's why we came here in the first place!"

Dusk Shine's eyes narrowed. He debated it in his mind. He really thought that if they just read about hooligans some, they'd see how ridiculous it all was. He did love it when people expressed an interest in reading. This didn't happen everyday. But...at the same time, he was scared he'd unleash some kind of monster.

The purple unicorn gave in. He said, "Okay, boys. There's not a guide or anything on being a hooligan, but I do have some books that have references to them and some things they've done. Let me see if I can find them for you."

Scooterloo and Apple Buck both jumped up, yelling, "Cutie Mark Crusader Soccer Hooligans! Yay!"

Beau just sat on the ground, frowning.

***

The sun was still shining. No clouds rested in the sky. Warmth swam through the air. It had been a couple of hours since Sugar Beau had escaped his brother's house. The boys had gotten their books and immediately ran off to read them.

All except for Sugar Beau.

After listening to Dusk Shine talk about them, he had been wary, skeptical. He didn't like the idea, anymore. He sat down in the grass, with a book spread out in front of them. He didn't want to read it, anymore; he had read enough.

Scooterloo and Apple Buck, the other boys, were still laying down, reading through their books as fast as they could. Beau had never seen them read so much, in his entire life. There were still more books to read, of course. They had barely dented the big pile that Dusk Shine had given them.

The stack rested next to a tree. Various brightly-colored bookmarks stuck out of the massive pile of books. Beau looked at it, not wanting to read, anymore. He looked around. They were in the apple orchard at Sweet Apple Acres. Scoots had decided that this was the best place to start trying out their new-found hooliganry. Apple Buck had agreed. For their first time, they needed to be away from town, just in case things got out of control.

"Hey, guys," said Beau, still sitting down, "I don't think this is such a great idea, anymore. Let's try something else."

"That's crap," said Scooterloo, still poring over his book, "It's a great idea. These hooligan guys sound like a lot of fun."

"Yeah," said Apple Buck, "We're gonna have a blast!"

Beau's ears folded down. He frowned, saying, "But...they just go around and wreck stuff, just like Dusk Shine said."

"Maybe we can do it better. Maybe they're doing it wrong. Maybe we can be hooligans and not wreck stuff," said Apple Buck.

Sugar Beau liked the sound of that. He said, "Yeah. I want my cutie mark, but I don't want to wreck stuff to get it. That sounds...bad."

Scoots closed his book and looked over at the pile. He said, "Well, I'm done with this one. How about you, Apple Buck."

The little cowpony nodded, saying, "Yep. Me, too."

Beau said, "I don't want to read any-"

"Me, neither," said Scoots, "I agree with Beau. Let's just go out and do something! We've read enough!"

Beau shook his head, saying, "No. That's not what I meant. I-"

Apple Buck nodded his head, standing up. He said, "Yeah. That's a great idea, Beau. We need to get to work. There's only so much time left in the day."

The three just sat in silence, looking at each other.

Scoots said, "So...what do we do first?"

More silence. They just looked at each other.

Apple Buck opened his book back and flipped through it. He said, "Well...it says here...Hm...They..."

The little pegasus frowned, loudly exclaiming his displeasure in a discordant noise. He said, "Oh, man! Don't tell me we did all this reading, and we don't even know what we're supposed to do first!"

"No, dude," said Apple Buck, "I know what we can do first."

"What's that," asked Scooterloo.

"They do stuff like throw bricks through windows, right? That's easy. There's plenty of bricks around here, and plenty of windows," said the earth pony.

"Yeah," exclaimed Scooterloo, "That's a great idea! Let's do that. We just need a brick, and we need a window."

Beau said, "That doesn't...sound very nice."

Both of his friends turned and looked at him. Buck said, "But we have to, Beau! That's what soccer hooligans do! You want your cutie mark, don't you?"

Beau rubbed his arm and looked around, saying, "Yeah. I guess so. But-

"Then it's settled," said the pegasus, "We get a brick and throw it through a window! Let's go, Crusaders!"

The three boys closed their books and put them on the pile, Sugar Beau hesitantly so. There were bricks in the barn. They just needed to go get one and throw it somewhere. Wanting to try out their newfound hobby as soon as possible, Buck and Scoots ran as fast as they could. Beau tried to catch up, not as excited as they were.

After a few minutes, they were at the barn. Apple Buck said, "There has to be bricks around here, somewhere. We've got tons. We're always having to repair the barn or something."

"Good stuff," said Scoots, beginning to walk into the open barn door.

Apple Buck suddenly grabbed him, pointing into the center of the barn. Scooterloo peered into the open space, noticing a pony in there. A little red pony with a short, dirty blonde mane stood in the center of the barn, moving apples out of baskets and into barrels.

The little cowpony said, "Dude! That's my sister! She'll never let us have a brick!"

"Why not," said Scoots.

"Because, dude," explained Apple Buck, "She's a total tightwad. She'd want to know what we wanted to do with it, and she won't give it to us when she hears we want to throw it through a window."

"Lame," said Scooterloo, "What do we do?"

Sugar Beau wasn't paying attention to anything his friends were saying. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the filly in the barn. He always went wide-eyed, when he saw her, and his heart always pattered. Right now, it was like a jackhammer, beating against his chest and making him sweat. Nothing could tear his attention away from her.

"Dude," said Scoots, "What's up with Beau?"

Buck looked at Sugar Beau, then at Little Red. He shrugged his shoulders, saying, "I don't know."

The little pegasus walked up to his lovestruck friend and gave him a light shove on the shoulder, saying, "Dude, are you still with us?"

Beau shook his head, trying to not stare, but he couldn't help it. He simply said, "She's...beautiful."

Buck looked back at the barn, saying, "Who? My sister?"

Sugar Beau nodded his head, fully unable to tear his eyes away from the sight. He said, "Yeah, she is. Every time I see her, I-"

Apple Buck stuck out his tongue, saying, "Dude? What the fuck? That's my sister, you're talking about. Little Red."

"I know," said the little unicorn, "But Buck...She's just so...wonderful."

The cowpony frowned, saying, "You say that...but you haven't been on the wrong end of one of her ass whuppins, before."

"Can I go talk to her," said Beau, dreamily.

Apple Buck stuck out his tongue and said, "Dude, no! That's so gross! You have a crush on my sister!"

Beau snapped out of his fantasy, frowning and saying, "No I don't! I just want to go talk to her! I don't have a crush on her! Girls are yucky!"

"Well," said Scoots, "We all need to go talk to her. Or at least, Buck does."

Apple Buck said, "No, you guys come with me. Just...follow my lead, I guess."

And so the little earth pony walked towards the barn, his friends following. Little Red, a powerful pony in a little package, was tossing barrels onto a wagon. Approaching her, Apple Buck said, "Hey, sis!"

Breathing a little hard from the exertions of her work, she put a barrel down and turned to them. Smiling, she wiped some sweat off of her brow and said, "Hey, boys. What's going on?"

Apple Buck smiled, innocently, saying, "Nothing. We were just playing."

"Playing," she said, "What are you playing, today?"

The three Crusaders all looked at each other, Scooterloo shrugging his shoulders. Apple Buck said, "Uh...We're playing..."

"Pirates," said Scoots.

Little Red laughed, saying, "Pirates, argh? Well, that's nice. You boys have fun."

And she went back to her work, packing apples into barrels and tossing them onto the wagon. The Crusaders all looked at each other again. Scooterloo frowned at Apple Buck, giving him a nudge. Apple Buck shook his head and raised his eyebrows. The pegasus just nodded, shoving him again.

The little cowpony, sporting his red bandanna, walked back up to his sister and said, "Hey, sis."

Little Red put the barrel she was holding back down and said, huffing, "Yeah, Buck? What d'you want?"

"Hey, sis," he said, "Do you know where any bricks are?"

She looked at him quizzically, arching a brow. This was...new. She said, slowly, "Why do you a brick?"

Apple Buck thought of something really quickly, saying, "A fort."

"A ship," said Scooterloo, jumping beside his friend and into the conversation.

"A ship," said Little Red, cautiously, "You need bricks...to make a ship..."

The two colts nodded their heads, vigorously. Buck said, "Yeah! A ship! We want to make a ship out of bricks."

Little Red didn't believe this one bit. She said, "Boys...Ships ain't made out of bricks. They're made out of wood. If they were made out of bricks, they wouldn't float."

Scooterloo said, "Yeah yeah. We know! But it's a pretend ship...and a fort."

"A fort," deadpanned Little Red.

"Yeah," said Apple Buck, "It's both, in one. We think it's a great idea."

"Why not just go pretend that your club house is a ship," said Little Red, "Your brother worked real hard to make that fort, when he was a little colt. Go play in it."

The two Crusaders looked at each. Scooterloo shrugged. Apple Buck said, "Because...we want two forts. One is our clubhouse. The other one is our ship..."

"Boys," said Little Red, turning back to her work, "You can't have any bricks."

Buck frowned, saying, "But WHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY-"

"Because I said so," she said, "It's dangerous. You could hurt yourselves or another pony."

Buck crossed his eyebrows, his frown turning from one of sadness to one of anger, saying, "But Red! We need bricks!"

"Apple Buck," she said sternly, turning back to him again, "You ain't gettin' no bricks! Now just go away and go play in your clubhouse! I'm busy!"

Sugar Beau began to turn around and walk outside, not wanting to get in trouble. Apple Buck stamped his hoof on the ground, saying, "But we need bricks, dammit! Just one! We-"

Little Red immediately went from perturbed to angry, saying, "Apple Buck! Don't talk that way to me, boy! I'm your big sister, and you will show me respect!"

Apple Buck stamped the ground more, saying, "But sis! We need some bricks! We-"

"Drop it, Apple Buck," said his sister, very sternly, "Go outside and play! Don't make me whup your ass! Go bother your brother, or something!"

The little cowpony relented somewhat, knowing that she would very well follow up on her threat. He turned to his friends, out of options and with nothing else to say to his big sister. He said, "Come on, guys. Let's go. We'll have to figure something else out."

"Dude," said Scooterloo, whining, "This fucking sucks. I-"

Little Red immediately turned on them again, furious. Snorting and kicking up a little bit of dust, she said, "Boys! That's enough out of you! Where'd you learn to talk like that!"

The three all looked at each, panic-stricken, including Sugar Beau, who hadn't made so much as a peep during the entire conversation. Apple Buck just looked at her, with pleading eyes. He said, "Well, Applejack-"

"Applejack!" she yelled, "That little rotten son of a bitch! I told him not to swear in front of the chilluns. It's bad for you!"

They all just looked at each other, feeling relief that the pressure was off of them and onto somepony else. Apple Buck said, "Yeah. But-"

"Tell me," said Little Red, trying to be calm, "Does Applejack really swear in front of you?"

"Yeah," said Apple Buck, "All the time. He-"

"That does it!" she yelled, "I'm going to go see him right now and show him exactly how I feel about him using bad language in front of his little brother!"

The little cowpony said, "Are you going to whup his ass?"

"Don't use that word," she said, "But yes. I am. He deserves it! Grandpa Smith wouldn't approve, either! Maybe I'll let him know all about everything Applejack's doin'."

And then she stormed off, leaving the barn as fast as she could and heading towards the Apple Family house. Her passage left plumes of dust, as she ran towards her younger (but not youngest) brother.

As soon as the storm settled, the boys were left in the barn, looking at each other. There were no words for a few minutes. All three of them were just silently thankful that none of them were the objects of her wrath. A bird chirped, singing on the door of the barn. The wind blowed.

Scooterloo said, "Dude, I think you just got your brother into some real trouble."

"Better him than us, right," retorted Apple Buck.

Sugar Beau just nodded vigorously, feeling guilty that they had gotten Applejack in trouble. He said, "She's not really gonna spank him, is she? Isn't he a little old for that?"

"Nah," said Apple Buck, "Grandpa Smith tells me all the time that I'll never be too old for whuppin's. I guess the same thing applies to Applejack."

"Well, that sucks," said Scooterloo, "What's the difference between a whuppin' and a spanking, anyway?"

Apple Buck shrugged his shoulders, saying, "I dunno. I've never been spanked before. Only whupped. I guess whuppin's are just...different. More harsh. And for grown-up ponies."

"Dude," said Scooterloo, "Your family's fucked up."

Apple Buck said, "Yeah. Sometimes, I guess. I don't really know. It's the only family I've ever had."

There was silence, again. Scooterloo looked around the barn, trying to find anything he could. After a few moments, he pointed toward a corner of the barn and said, "Hey! Look! Bricks! Just what we're looking for!"

The other two Crusaders looked over at what their friend was pointing at. Sure enough, there was a big stack of bricks resting in a corner of the barn. Beau frowned, his ears lowering. Apple Buck smiled widely, saying excitedly, "Oh boy! Good job, Scoots! You found some!"

Scooterloo ran over to the pile, saying, "Yeah! I know, right? This is so awesome! We got some bricks!"

"Yeah," said Apple Buck, running over to the pile, "We got us some bricks!"

The little pegasus picked a brick up off of the floor and held it up in the air. He said, "Crusaders! We have gotten ourselves a brick to commence soccer hooliganry with!"

Apple Buck cheered. Sugar Beau just sank closer to the ground, not wanting to have anything to do with any of this. He said, "H-hey guys. Can we just go play in the clubhouse, like Little Red said?"

"No way dude," said Scooterloo, "We finally got one! We're sure to get our cutie marks by the end of the day! Don't you want your cutie mark?"

"Well sure," said Beau, slowly, "But I don't want to break stuff to do it."

"Don't worry about it, worrywort," said Apple Buck, "It won't take long. Just a moment, and then we'll get our cutie marks."

Beau sank lower onto the ground, laying on it. He said, "Well...As long as it doesn't take too long..."

"Great," said Scooterloo, running to the entrance of the barn carrying his precious treasure, "Let's go! I can't wait to get my cutie mark!"

He ran out of the barn. Apple Buck followed, trying his best to keep up with his friend. Sugar Beau trailed the two of them, his tail drooping. He couldn't believe he was thinking this, at this point, but he really wished he was just back in his room at Elusive's, practicing the violin. That's all he wanted to do, right now, more than anything in the whole wide world. Just be in that room, safe and warm, not wrecking stuff or destroying things.

What would the cutie mark of a soccer hooligan look like, anyway?

The boys all ran away from the barn. It didn't have any windows, so they didn't have anything to throw their brick through. They had to go to the house to do that. It was the only building on their property that had glass windows, and it had a lot of them. There were so many places for them to try and get their new cutie marks.

Buck and Scoots almost skipped, they were so giddy and happy. Beau was much less excited, dragging himself along, just trying to keep up with his friends. As they came to the house, they ran along the side of it, lofting their prize high above their heads. Placing it gently upon the ground, the two mischief-makers in the party looked at it, beaming.

Nothing could spoil this moment. The silence wafting in the air was a reverent and solemn one. They both knew their destiny was at hand. By the end of the day, they would both be adults, grown ponies with their cutie marks. No more blank flanks. No more making-fun-of-them. They would all have cutie marks, and that would be the end of that.

Smiling at the brick, Apple Buck said, "Boy, Scoots. Did you ever imagine it would happen like this? With that?"

Scooterloo inhaled deeply, trying to breathe in the scents of this beautiful day. He said, "Nope, Buck. Nope. I never did. It's awesome, isn't it?"

Apple Buck nodded, saying, "Yep. It sure is. It's almost...magical, you know? Religious."

"Yep," said Scoots, "Sure is."

They both sat in silence, staring happily at their brick. Sugar Beau sat behind them, his tail wrapped around his flank; his ears drooped. He didn't like this, but he said nothing. He did, at heart, want his cutie mark, and as long as it was someone else throwing the brick, then he technically didn't destroy anything, right?

"Welp," said Scoots, turning to their quiet friend, "Time to throw the brick, Beau."

"What," said the little unicorn, his eyes widening with surprise, "Why me? Why do I have to throw it?"

"Because," said Apple Buck, "It was your idea."

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He pointed at Scooterloo, saying, "What?! No it wasn't! It was Scoots's idea! I don't want to have anything to do with this!"

Apple Buck picked up the brick and brought it over to his friend, dropping it in front of him. He said, "Don't be so modest! It's a great idea! I think you should have the honor of throwing our first brick as soccer hooligans!"

"Yeah," said Scooterloo, walking over, "Dude. It really is a great idea. You should have been leading us, all along. This is sure to get us our cutie marks."

"I don't want to throw the brick," said Sugar Beau, whining, "Why do I have to do it?"

"Because," said Apple Buck, "It was your-"

And then they all heard a noise. A door slamming, then some conversation. They were right outside the kitchen. Voices were heard, inside of it. All three of them fell completely silent, trying to listen as closely as they could to what was going inside. The voices rose in volume and pitch.

They could clearly hear Little Red. After a few moments, it was apparent that they were hearing Applejack, too. For a few minutes, the conversation was calm, but tense. Then, it exploded into screaming and yelling. Lots of yelling. Both of them. Scuffling followed shortly thereafter, and then the sounds of a fight could be heard. A nasty fight.

Somepony was thrown against the wall that the boys were watching, making the house shake some, sending some dust and leaves falling to the ground. Then, all they heard was Applejack screaming bloody murder, for several minutes. Little Red could be heard, yelling right back at him.

Then, the fight ended, and there was only silence.

All three of the Crusaders looked at each other, wide-eyed. Scooterloo said, "Dude, I think you really did get your brother in trouble! Little Red really did whup his ass."

Apple Buck cringed, trying to shrink in size. He said, "I didn't mean to! It was an accident!"

"Well dude," said Scoots, "It sounded pretty vicious. Does she ever whup your ass like that?"

Apple Buck's tail dove in-between his legs. He said, "No. She doesn't. Maybe whuppins get worse when you get older."

The three little colts thought about it, silently. There was no noise coming from inside the house. They all stared at it.

Scooterloo said, "Anyway. We have work to do. Beau has to throw that brick through a window."

The old fight erupted again, immediately. Suger Beau said, "But I don't want to!"

"Dude, you have to," said Scooterloo.

"Buck should do it," said the little unicorn, "It's his house!"

Apple Buck frowned, saying, "But...Uh..."

"Dude," said Scoots, "He's right. It's your house. Maybe you should do it. We can go to Elusive's, later. He can throw the brick, then."

The little cowpony looked at the brick, saying, "But I'll get in trouble..."

"You have to do it," said Scooterloo, "It's your house. And your idea."

Apple Buck frowned, his eyebrows crossing. He said, "No it wasn't, asshole. It was your idea!"

"Does it matter who's idea it is," said the little pegasus, "Just throw the damned brick."

The little cowpony walked up the brick, picking it up. He hefted it a couple times. He said, "It's sort of heavy. It'll go right through a window."

"Which is why you need to throw it," said Scoots.

Apple Buck looked at his house, staring at a closed window right above the kitchen. He said, "Won't that break it?"

"That's the point, isn't it," said Scooterloo.

"Well," said Apple Buck, trying to search for an excuse to not break a window in his own house, "Can't I open it? The books said they throw bricks through windows. It didn't say nothing about them being closed."

The pegasus scratched his chin, thinking. He said, "Yeah...I guess you're right. They didn't say anything about it being closed. I guess it would be okay to open it. Then the glass won't shatter, right? We can have our cake and eat it too."

Apple Buck smiled, saying, "Yeah! I'll go open the window, then we can throw the brick through it! Then we'll be real soccer hooligans!"

All three Crusaders jumped up, clapping hooves. Sugar Beau was happy that he wasn't the one who had to wreck stuff. They didn't have to destroy anything, and they would still get their cutie marks. This day was really looking up.

Apple Buck looked at them happily. He said, "All right. Now I'll go open the window. When I get back, I'll throw it. Okay?"

The other two nodded along. With his mission in mind, Buck walked to his house and opened the door, going inside. He was in the kitchen. Looking around, it was obvious that a fight had taken place here not long ago. Shivering a little, at the thought, he left as fast as he could and went upstairs, to the room with the window leading outside.

After traversing the stairs and coming to the room, he immediately realized that it was Applejack's room. Gulping, he put his hoof on the knob and slowly turned it. Waiting for a moment, listening to objections, he swung the door open.

The smell of the room billowed out. Apple Buck coughed, his senses being assaulted by the odor. Frowning and pinching his nose shut, he went inside. The air in the room was hazy, floating in the air. Liquor bottles littered the ground and any surface that they could stand on. The nightstand; the desk; a couple of shelves. They were all covered in empty cigarette packs and whiskey bottles.

Apple Buck said, "Dude. It smells like a volcano's ass crack in here."

Applejack was laying on his bed, smoking a cigarette. As soon as his little brother stepped into the room, he looked up. The little earth pony looked at his big brother, who had a very pronounced black eye.

Applejack said, "What're you doing in here?"

Buck frowned, stepping through the smoke and mess and towards the window. He said, "I'm just opening a window. There's no need-"

"Dude," said the big brother, "Why did you get me in trouble?"

"Huh," said Buck, trying to sound innocent.

AJ sat fully upright in his bed. He pointed towards his black eye with a hoof, saying, "You told Red that I swear in front of you! Why the hell did you tell her that?!"

Buck shrugged his shoulders, saying, "I dunno. Maybe it's because you do."

AJ glared at his little brother, his cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He said, "You didn't have to tell her that, asshole!"

Apple Buck frowned, stopping in his tracks as he tried to defend himself. He said, "You had to have been there, AJ. It was either you or me! Honest!"

Applejack swung his legs over the side of his bed, beginning to stand up. He said, "You little asshole! I'm gonna whup your ass!"

The little cowpony took a few nervous steps back, fiddling with his bandanna. He said, "Dude, no! AJ! It was an accident, I promise! It-it just slipped! Tweren't on purpose! I swear! I panicked!"

"And what the fuck did you think I did when she came at me in the kitchen, huh?" he asked.

Buck took a few more steps backwards away from his brother. He said, "It won't happen again! I promise! Just don't whup my ass!"

"Well," said the older brother, "Now she's watching me. Listening to me. You think I want that? You think I want Red listening to everything I say in front of you? Huh?"

Little Apple Buck stopped moving backwards. He suddenly had an idea. He said, "Well...I think you should calm down."

Applejack frowned, growing furious. He said, "What'd you say to me? I'm your older brother! Don't talk to me like that!"

"I'll tell Red on you, again," said Buck, threatening the older Apple.

AJ took a step back, his cigarette falling out of his mouth. He said, "You wouldn't dare! I'll tell on you for cussin'!"

"And then I'll blame it on you," said Buck, digging into his hooves, "She'll believe me! She'll say you're a bad influence!"

AJ gritted his teeth, mumbling to himself. He said, "You little dick! You wouldn't dare!"

The younger Apple fought back, taking steps forward. He said, "I will too! I swear! Don't you whup me! Red'll get after you again!"

Applejack sat back down his bed, fishing out another cigarette and lighting it. He said, "Fine, you little asshole. This ain't the end of this. I'll get you back. You just watch!"

Buck smiled, internally, very pleased with himself that he had actually managed to win one over on his big brother. He marched to the window, saying, "And let's air this room out! Jeez! It smells awful in here!"

"Fine. Whatever, asshole," said Applejack, eyeing his brother hatefully as the little Apple opened the window to the room.

Buck nodded at himself, proudly. This was going to be awesome. Turning around and walking out of the room, he said, "For your sake, I'll just pretend that this little conversation never took place, Applejack."

Applejack swore from his bed, saying, "Fine, you little asshole! Just get the fuck out of my room! This ain't over!"

The younger earth pony said nothing. He just left the room and closed the door behind himself. Jumping up into the air and clicking his hooves together, he rejoiced. That went perfectly. The window was open, and he didn't get his ass whupped in the process. Today couldn't be going any better.

Going back outside, Scooterloo and Sugar Beau were sitting under a tree. The ever-elusive and precious brick lay next to the pegasus. Scoots had never let it leave his sight, so previous was it.

As soon as they saw their friend leaving the house and walking back up to the them, the little pegasus jumped up off the ground and ran over to him.

He said, "Dude, are you all right?"

"Yeah," said Buck, "Why?"

"We heard a lot of yelling. We figured you got in trouble or something," said Scoots.

Apple Buck held his head up high with pride, draping a hoof over his chest. He said, "Nope. I took care of it. No trouble for me, today."

Scoots flapped his wings, jumping up in the air. He said, "Great! Then you can do the deed!"

Feeling as if he could do no wrong and as if no wrong could befall him, Apple Buck walked over to their precious prize. Staring at it happily for a moment, Scooterloo joined in with him.

"It...It's beautiful, ain't it?" said Buck.

Scoots nodded, saying, "Now come on. This is going to be totally fucking rad!"

Apple Buck nodded and picked the brick up. The wind rustled through his bandanna, tossling his hair. This was going to be the best throw of all time. He could feel it. He would make Applejack and Little Red proud of him. Starting with a brisk trot, he soon broke out into a full run. Moving as fast as he could down the hill towards his house, he wound up his throwing arm and tossed the brick as hard as he could.

It flew a few feet and planted itself into the ground.

Scoots walked over to it, Beau trailing behind him. All three of them looked at it. Beau turned to his earth pony friend and said, "Hey...Buck..."

"I know. I know," he said, "This thing's heavier than it looks. Let me try again."

He picked it up and went back to the top of the hill. Running down it again, he gave the brick another good heft, harder than before. It flew a feet further than before but fell well below its mark, falling into the grass again.

Embarrassed, Buck just looked at the brick and said, "This is bullshit. This thing's really heavy, guys."

"Nah man," said Scooterloo, "You just have to try harder."

The earth pony turned on him, saying, "Well then why don't YOU try to throw it, Scooterloo? It ain't as easy as it looks!"

Giving his friend a pat on the shoulder, Scoots smiled arrogantly and said, "Okay, Buck. Let me show you how it's done."

Picking it up himself, he went to the same starting point that his friend had. Giving the same good run, he wound the brick up and threw it as hard as he could, towards the window. Just like Buck's throw, though, it fell short and hit the ground.

Swearing profusely, he grumbled and picked it up, trying again. Once again, it fell short.

The three Crusaders crowded around the brick, looking at it. There was dead silence. The only thing that could be heard was birds chirping, in the background.

"Dude," said Scoots, finally breaking the solemnity of the occasion, "This thing's heavier than it looks."

"I told you," said Apple Buck.

"Well," said the pegasus, "What are we going to do? We'll never get out cutie marks if we can't even throw a brick through a window."

"You try, Beau," said Buck, "You haven't tried yet."

Sugar Beau's ears flattened, his tail retreating to between his legs. He said, "But...I don't want to. Maybe we shouldn't do this. Maybe it's a sign. I think we should stop."

Scooterloo sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. Pointing a hoof towards the unicorn, he said, "Dude! What's your problem? You were excited about this earlier. Just throw the damned brick and get it over with. It won't kill anybody."

Beau looked at him pleadingly and said, "But, I don't-"

"Just throw the brick, Beau," said Buck, accusingly.

Beau looked at his two friends, his eyes flitting between them. He frowned, pouting. He said, "I don't want to."

Scoots let out a sound of disgust. He exploded, screaming, "Just throw the goddamned brick, Sugar Beau!"

"Yeah," screamed Buck, "Just throw the damned brick, asshole!"

He gave in, immediately. He couldn't stand hearing his only two friends in the whole-wide world yelling him. He immediately picked the brick up and gave it the hardest throw he could. Leaving his hoof, the flying projectile soared through the air, higher and faster than either of his two friends had been able to throw it. It sailed and sailed, as if it had been thrown by Solaris, himself.

The brick went right through the window and into Applejack's room.

Scooterloo and Apple Buck jumped up, cheering. The pegasus grabbed Beau, saying, "Dude! That was a hell of a throw! Good job!"

"Yeah, Beau," said Buck, nodding, "Good job!"

All three of them turned their heads and looked at their flanks. Waiting a few moments, all of them frowned when they realized nothing was appearing.

Sugar Beau crossed his eyebrows and looked at his pegasus friend, saying, "Scoots! You meanie-head! You said this would give us our cutie marks! I'm going to get in a lot of trouble for leaving Elusive's house! I've spent all day reading about hooligans, and I tried really hard to get that brick through the window! And we have NO CUTIE MARKS!"

Scoots took a few steps back, holding his hooves out in surrender. He said, "Dude, sorry. It's not my fault. Maybe we have to do it again! Or maybe we have to try something else! The day's not over yet."

Sugar Beau let out an aggravated grunt and said, "Let's just go get it. I just want to get this over with!"

Scoots started to protest, but Beau cut him off, saying, "No! You listen to me. All three of us are going into that house and getting that brick. All. Three. Of. Us. Do you understand?"

"Fine, dude," said Scoots, "Whatever. Let's just go get the damned brick."

Buck didn't dare say a word. Following Sugar Beau, all three of them walked up to the house and into the kitchen.

The kitchen was still in disorder. One of the chairs was flipped over, and all the contents on the kitchen table were all over the ground. Pictures hanging on the wall were crooked. Some of the paint was even chipped on the outside wall, where Applejack had been thrown against it.

Beau and Scoots looked around. The pegasus said, "Dude. What the hell happened in here?"

Buck shrugged, saying, "Red whupped Applejack's ass. Remember?"

Beau frowned, looking around still. His eyes were wide with panic. He said, "She did all of this?"

Buck nodded. Scooterloo just said, "Dude. Your sister's a hard ass!"

The earth pony said, "Yeah. I know. My brother's room is upstairs. Let's just go get the brick and get out of here."

Nodding along in agreement, the other two Crusaders followed their friend as he went upstairs and to AJ's door. Staring at it for a few moments, Buck shrugged his shoulders and knocked on the door.

There was no response.

Beau looked at Buck and said, "Do you think he's okay?"

"Yeah," said Buck, "He's fine. He's just pissed off at me, is all. Let's just go inside."

Reaching up with his hoof, he twisted the knob and opened the door. Smoke billowed out. The same stench assaulted their nostrils. Scooterloo pinched his shut, saying, "Dude, your brother's room smells like the ass crack of a volcano."

"I know," said the earth pony, "I know. That's why we need to make this quick."

And so they went inside.

Whiskey bottles still littered the floor, and the three colts started looking around the room for their prize. Almost immediately, Sugar Beau screamed. His two friends ran to him and saw him, pointing down at the ground with a hoof. Their eyes followed the path that his hoof pointed out, looking down to the ground.

Both of them inhaled sharply, out of dismay and surprise.

Applejack laid down on the ground, face down. The brick was right next to him. He didn't move or stir in the slightest.

Buck said, panicking, "Holy shit! I'm going to get in so much trouble!"

"Dude," said Scoots, panicking, himself, "What the fuck happened?!"

"Red's gonna kill me," said Buck again, "She's going to tan my hide and turn me into a toaster cozy or something!"

Beau just sat there, looking at Applejack. He turned to his friends, saying, "What're we going to do?"

"I don't know," said the pegasus, "I didn't make you brain Buck's brother with a brick!"

"Me?!" screamed Beau, pointing at himself, "I didn't even want to do this in the first place! Don't blame this on me!"

"But you threw the damned thing," said Scoots, "We didn't make you!"

"You're such a doodie-head," said Beau, becoming angry, "You DID make me throw it! This is your fault!"

"Holy shit," said Buck, still staring wide-eyed at his comatose brother, "Red's gonna kill me."

Scooterloo and Sugar Beau still fought. The former said, "But you could have just said 'no!'"

"I did say no," said Beau, screaming at the top of his lungs, "I just wanted to go home and play the stupid violin! I didn't want to come here and throw bricks at ponies!"

Scoots said, "Well I didn't throw it!"

"It's just as much your fault as mine," said Beau, sternly, "You're not just going to push this off on me!"

"Well," said Scoots, "What're we going to do?!"

Sugar Beau thought for a moment, scratching his chin. As much as he didn't want to, he knew what they had to do. It was the only thing they COULD do. They didn't have any options, save one.

"We have to tell an adult," said Beau.

Buck grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him. He said, "No! We can't tell an adult! We'll be murdered!"

Beau pushed his friend away, saying, "Well, that's the only thing-"

A voice called out from the hallway. A girl's voice. An adult, older, big, strong girl's voice. The last voice any of them wanted to hear.

"Boys," said Red, from outside the room, "What's all the screaming about?"

Buck panicked and ran over, slamming the door shut. He said, loudly, "Nothing! Nothing's wrong!"

Red walked right up to the outside of the door, saying, "It doesn't sound like it. What are y'all doing in Applejack's room?"

"Playing," said Scoots, trying to come up with something as fast as he could.

Outside the door, Red's eyes narrowed. She wasn't stupid. She said, "Playing, huh? Pirates? In AJ's room?"

The three Crusaders looked at each other in a panic. This was the end of the line, for them. They could feel it. This was the end.

Scoots said, "Yeah! Pirates! Arrr!"

There was just silence for a moment. Then, Red said, "Where's Applejack?"

"He's...he's...uh," said Buck, searching around the room, "Outside! He's outside!"

"No, he's not," said Red, "I saw him in there just a few minutes ago. Is he still in there?"

Buck said, "Nah, Red. Promise. He's outside."

"Buck," said Red, tired of playing this game with them, "Where's your brother? I'm coming in there."

Scoots and Beau both ran up to the door, pushing against it with all their might. Buck just panicked, screaming, "Ahaha! Yeah! You're right! He's right here, silly me! He's taking a nap, Red! Don't bother him!"

"He's what," said Red, not amused anymore, "He's taking a nap? Buck. Let me in."

The door knob jiggled and started to open. Scoots and Beau pushed up against it, forcing it closed again.

"Boys," said Red, "What's going on? Let me in there! Where's Applejack?"

"No," yelled Buck, "He's taking a nap. Don't come in!"

"He's not taking a nap, Buck, or you wouldn't be yelling," she said, "Let me in there!"

She tried to open the door again, but Scooterloo and Sugar Beau just pushed as hard as they could, closing it. She made another try, but it failed. The two little Crusaders refused to give way.

Then, there was silence. Dead silence. Scooterloo and Sugar Beau just looked at each other. Apple Buck paced around the room, hyperventilating. The little pegasus put his ear against the door, trying to listen outside. Hearing nothing, he turned to his friends and said, "Dudes! We did it! She's not there. She must have-"

And that's when it all ended. All of it. Obliterating the door entirely, Little Red kicked it down with all of the considerable strength that was contained in her little frame. It splintered and shattered, blowing up into a lot of small pieces as it was forcefully torn from its resting place. The little bits of wood and splinters flew into the air. The door frame cracked and splintered from the sudden use of force.

Scooterloo flew through the air, hitting the ground with a thud, holding his head. Sugar Beau panicked and squealed, running as fast he could and diving for cover under Applejack's bed.

Buck knew that his end had come. He wasn't going to fight it. He was just going to sit there and face his damnation, head on. There wasn't any sense in running away from it, now. It was too late, for all of that. It had been too late with Beau had managed to get the brick through the window, in the first place.

Little Red put her back two hooves on the ground again, walking through the destroyed door frame and into the room. She looked around, surveying the carnage. Her eyes were immediately drawn to Apple Buck, who sat on the ground next to his older brother.

She stomped over to him and said, frowning and glaring and kicking up bits of wood and debris. Looking down at the unconscious Applejack, she said, "Apple Buck!"

The little Apple Buck just looked up at her. He was unafraid. He'd always imagined this is what death must has felt like, and he was staring death right in the face. He said, "Yes, Red?"

"Don't you 'yes Red' me, young colt," she yelled, sternly, "Now, just what in the hell are you boys doing in here?! What did you do to Applejack?!"

Buck looked over at the brick, touching it with a hoof.

Red's eyes went wild with rage. She screamed, "YOU THREW A BRICK AT HIM?!"

Buck pouted, saying, "It was an accident."

Little Red looked at the open window. He pointed at it, saying, "So you threw a brick. Through that window?"

Buck nodded.

She said, "I told you that you couldn't have a damned brick, Apple Buck! You didn't listen to me, and now look what happened!"

Apple Buck looked at his brother then back at Red. He shrugged his shoulders, saying, "I'm sorry. It was an accident."

"Don't you shrug your shoulders at me, little man," she said, "And you're going to be sorry! All of you! Buck, you're grounded! I'll whup your ass later!"

She looked around the room, searching for the other two. Scooterloo had taken his cue from Sugar Beau, hiding under the bed. It only took moments for the scary big sister to find them hiding under there. Lifting up the sheets, she saw both of them, huddling together.

She glared at both of them, saying, "Boys! Come out from under there! I'm taking you both straight to your parents!"

Both of them came out, hesitantly, shaking and fearful. She shoved both of them towards the door. Turning her head to Apple Buck, she said, "Now go to your room, Buck! I'll deal with you, later."

As the other two Crusaders were ushered downstairs and out the house, the little pegasus leaned in to his friend and whispered, "Dude. Did you see those magazines?"

Beau simply looked at his friend and sighed, frowning. He said, "Not now, Scoots. Not now."

***

So, their adventure ended, for the day.

Scooterloo was taken to his parents' house. Little Red told them all about everything he did, and they both promised that he would receive his dues.

Sugar Beau was dropped back off with his brother, who promised to tell their mother and father about everything that happened.

Much to his chagrin, Buck was dealt with right when his sister got back home. He found sitting a difficult endeavor for the next week.

Applejack woke up a few hours later, in his own bed, with the worst headache of his life. Red took care of him for the rest of his day, and he was fine by the next morning.

For the rest of the day, Sugar Beau happily stayed in his room, practicing the violin. He was exceedingly pleased that the day's events were all over, even though he knew that he would get it when his parents came back from wherever they were. He hated practicing, but he didn't hate it half as much as trying to be a soccer hooligan. He would make sure they never tried anything that stupid, ever again.

Or at least, until the next time they tried to get their cutie marks.