The Rise Of A Square World

Closing the door I then walked back into my home.  Admittedly I was excited to see all my pony friends again but I’m still human and a little paranoid about going out with an empty inventory and no armor or sword.  Quickly walking back into my bedroom I noticed something strange about the place I had placed my crafting table chest and furnace.  There were now signs hanging above them labeling them in explaining their function.

That’s strange I wondered.  I suppose I am dead or was dead and perhaps they converted my house into some form of shrine or something.  Ignoring the signs I attempted to open the chest but found that some pony had sealed shut with some metal bars and a lock.  I was beginning to miss being half pony as the lock did take some time for me to break my bare hands but once it was off I are quickly reached into the chest.  Notch had told me I could now craft using obsidian and I had every intention of using this power.  Quickly I pulled out all the materials I had to work with it weren’t much but it was enough.  One chest plate and one pickax later he I was admiring myself.  I now had an obscene pickax and some kick ass armor.  I had thought to make a soared of found it would be best to just wait for me to find herobrine sword again I can always just ask what the ponies did with it.

I then felt a very familiar feeling the feeling of hunger.  Having just been respond I bet this body has never tasted food before and I was quite eager to appease it.  Unfortunately the chest that I pulled material out of had been emptied of all food.  Had this not been my first time in pony vill I would’ve been confused but I do remember them telling me something about food not lasting forever at least not like in my world so I quickly skipped any muttering to myself in confusion and went downstairs the place where I knew some food would be.

Sliding down the ladder I quickly made my weight to the chicken execution machine.  The machine in question now had a red velvet rope that quarantined it off from the rest of the home.  I had thought about the rope and as to why they would put it here but there’s a more important matter at hand.  I required food and food I shall have.  Reaching over to the machine I pulled the first lever expecting a chicken plopped into the way of the waiting arrows however no such action occurred.

Listening closely to the shoot I found that hand holding all the chickens was now empty.  This was no doubt the work of fluttershy.  She must’ve empty the chicken coop after my death and if she was taking care the chickens now there’s no way I could possibly eat a few.  O blocks I said to myself.  There’s got to be food around here somewhere.  I could hear my stomach gargling demanding a fellow with food immediately.  I protested to this informing it that it was not my fault notch neglected to fill my stomach before responding me but my protests fell on deaf ears as the angry grows continued.

In my hungry state I looked around the home attempting to identify any source of food however my house had been scrubbed completely clean to any edible substance.  Cubes on a stick I swore it looks like I’m going to have to go out to eat.  I knew that my stomach and change back into a human someone be able to eat most of the pony food but they still had plenty of the strange fruits and vegetables that I can try and munch on with no problem.  Well I wouldn’t say no problem as there’s one problem I am not faced in my previous visit to pony vill I had no money.  All the items and materials that were once so abundant around me are now gone.  I never realized just how much junk I always carry with me until I lost it all.

Putting my hands to my mouth I pondered where I can get something to trade for a meal.  I didn’t have any diamonds left.  And the only material in the chest upstairs was for building no pony would you be able to use them.  An idea then popped into my head.  An Ender chest.  I thought myself.

Back in my own world I only ever used ender chests for keeping money in sure to still be full of money now.  You see back when my city was young everything was traded around using emeralds the money of my world but when my chest filled up completely with emeralds I found that having them outside an Ender chest lead to feed is trying to steal them from that point I ordered all currency in my city to be iron and not emeralds.  With no big payoff for thieves in the form of emeralds stored in a wooden chest they left my city alone.

Now I have a need of those emeralds once more so I decided to go back upstairs in craft me an Ender chest.  I can only hope that it would transport the contents through worlds and allow me to grab the money inside.  Walking back upstairs I was met with the sound of my door opening and voices from outside.

Not being able to hear the voices correctly I swiftly snuck upstairs and listened in on what was happening.  Some pony had entered my home and was now talking to another pony slightly outside the door.  Using every bit of stealth I could which was just crouching and hoping no one heard or saw me I listen in on the conversation.

(?)  OK vinyl that’s enough your plan failed just admit it and pay up.  Gray pony said as she barred some pony who I can see from entering.

(vinyl scratch)  oh come on how was I supposed to know they were not going to cover buildings from outside our universe.  I mean why would they even make that a policy?  Oh for get it I have some stuff to do I’ll be back soon.  The mysterious pony said as she left leaving the gray pony to walk further into the home after saying goodbye.

After getting closer I realized the pony was carrying some form of musical instrument.  Allowing my curiosity to properly take hold of me I got closer in the attempt to examine the pony.  The of the new closer inspection I saw that she was carrying a paper bag the contents of which I have no idea the string instrument I previously mentioned and was wearing a white collar with the pink bow tie late opponents front.  The physical description of pony would be gray fur and dark gray hair that can almost be described as black but not quite.  Her eyes were purple from what I can see and read cutie mark looked like a strange musical note that I know I’d seen before but cannot remember where.

It wasn’t this point in time that I allowed my curiosity to venture too far as I was curious as to how the ponies main felt running through my fingers.  You must forgive me for this as whenever I’m around the ponies in my full human form at least I have the strange a sensation to pet them like you would a pet dog.  Anyway with a run of my fingers through her hair she sharply turned to gaze upon me taking a deep breath and screamed…

(?)… GHOST!!!!  She screamed.  Now before my brain are could even process the definition or meaning of the word ghost whether it be the pop culture definition or the correct English definition Octavia had leaped into the air and done what I believe to be called a roundhouse kick.  The now it is at this point in time that I would like to take a brief moment to explain to you the difference between humans leg taking power and a ponies kicking power.

I’d like you to think of one of my kick is a Ping-Pong paddle.  Whilst the ponies kick from the back leg would be more reminiscent of a wrecking ball smashing its way through your home and your neighbor’s home and then going right onto a cherry tree with a never understood carving “best if not intended upon it.”

So needless to say my flailing body was soon splattered against the wall where I slid down before finally falling to the floor.

(troll)  * cough* I’m going to skip the formalities and just ask what are you doing in my house?  * cough* I said attempting to regain my breath but failing miserably before just falling back onto the floor.

The mysterious pony only cocked her head sideways and asked your house?

(troll)  well yes my house I replied I built it and seeing as I’m currently standing in front of you asking what you are doing intruding upon my home I think it would belong to me.

The pony looked even more puzzled.  But your dead she replied.  It was in all the newspapers I even played at your funeral how can you be standing in front of me.

I then realize the implications and decided to explain to her exactly what had happened.  Making sure to end my story with the phrase cute young pony drop kicking my teeth out as wave comforting her and ensuring it wouldn’t happen again.

O thank goodness you’re not a ghost she replied to my story.  I’m terribly sorry Mr. Bridge is it?

(troll)  O please call me troll it’s what I’m comfortable with being called.

(?)  Very well troll my name is Octavia and a few months after your death I purchased the home having been forced into it by my roommate and we attempted to make it a must see stop on any visitor’s list of things to do. However things did not quite work out and we cannot get the house approved as a landmark or even advertised in the proper columns.  Whilst I can understand this is your home you must understand we’ve invested all our money into this rather pour decision…  One might I add that is not mine.  She said gritting her teeth and turning to look at the door.

(Troll)  What exactly are you saying? I asked the

(Octavia)  I’m saying Mr. Troll bridge that you can feel free to stay in MY home if you like.  But make no mistake that it is now my home.

O really I replied?  Though I can appreciate her competence and her territorial nature in safeguarding something she had purchased I’m very chauvinistic and wished to one up her.  That is but to show her that the same arrangement would be made up under my control not hers.  Unfortunately I made the mistake of thinking that enderman Teleporting was the same as pony Teleporting what I’ve previously been using.  In this assumption I was quickly proven incorrect.  You see pony Teleporting is an act of magic while it does cause some small degree of exhaustion most of it is pretty much unexplainable and the user feels nothing.  Enderman however appear to use a different method of Teleporting that would appear to be some form of extension to their own body.

To describe my new Teleporting abilities end to describe the epic failure that was my intent to look bad ass for the gray mare I shall merely described what it felt like to do the simple act of removing myself from in front of the mayor and to put myself behind her.

In order for you to feel the same feeling I felt you require several things.  First you require shrinking machine to turn you into something about the size of whatever your favor piece of currency happens to be.  Then you would need to write a letter to the princess requesting that every time you take a step she jump off a trampoline do three back flips and land upon your body with a force of an asteroid slamming into the ground.  One she distances of up right she would then have to do about 40 ballerinas spins on whatever who’ve happened land upon you before finally resetting for your next step.  That was only the physical exhaustion of the maneuver.

The mental exhaustion would be somewhat like trying to break up an argument between a banana and a coffee cup over which one was closest to a perfect sphere.  Only the have the conversation interrupted by a standup comedian who “never really got his big break”.

The needless to say rather than proving behind her and saying something witty and remarkable I felt the ground as if suffering from brain freeze and severe exhaustion.  Octavia was put off by my display an quickly rushed me to ask what was wrong.

(Octavia)  are you OK?  You just fell all the sudden.

(troll)  I’m fine, I’m fine I just need time to catch my breath.  And I’ve never Teleported in this body before and it takes its toll.

After catching my breath I attempted to stand up again but found that the expenditure of energy coupled with my severe hunger was most displeasing.  Managing to stand up I quickly ask the only question that was of any concern to me.  You have any food?

Yes she said presenting the bag and spelling out its contents of a mix of flowers.  I knew I could not eat the flowers anymore but the fruits and veggies were all mine.  Quickly grasping them I take them quickly.  Well I suppose a more accurate description of my barbaric eating would be something of a sinkhole of gravel engulfing entire village.  If you understand the way gravity works in my world you know how hard it was for me to think that for you so enjoy it.

(Octavia)  hey she protested I just told you we’re tight on cash and now you’re eating all of my groceries!

Now that I was full I could quickly said work of making it right and the same time silencing the pony.  I pet her on the head and moved on to the crafting table.  One eye of Ender and some obsidian later the Ender chest was finished.  Now I will remind you as to the physics of an Ender chest.  You put something in it if only you can take it out but you can take it out from any other Ender chest from anywhere in the world.  The my hopes is that this rule still applies despite being on a different world.

(Octavia)  excuse me she protested a nice looking box is not going to buy as new groceries unless you plan on selling it.

I only laughed as I was finally in the spot where I felt comfortable the source of all information and interest.  Is that egotistical?  Yes’ yes it is.

Finally I put the chest down flipped lit open and reached inside.  The comfort of single my wealth in one place once more relieved me.  Well I would say all my wealth it would take about four of these chests to try and buy at least half of my city.  But seeing is my city is gone you know what I mean.

Pulling out one Emerald I then handed it to Octavia.

Octavia then stared deeply into the stone.  Her eyes sparkled and grew wide with wonder.  She attempted to speak but the noises that came out we’re not much below as any form of language perhaps it was some bird call I couldn’t understand.

(Octavia) what…  What…  What…  What is this?  it’s so???  I don’t know it’s just so amazing.

I smiled know that I could finally feel in charge again.  That is an Emerald I explained.  It is the most valuable and expensive to two mine material in my world.  The in fact it is so rare that it’s only use is currency.

(Octavia)  are you giving this to me?  she asked.

(troll)  yes…  Yes I am.  should cover the food I just and for lack of better term inhaled.  O yes in you can have the house.  I just remember that I a business elsewhere that I must attend to.  So I don’t think I’ll be staying in any in particular home for any particular length of time.

(Octavia)  OK she said still gazing into a new prize.  The

(troll)  O needs come back from time to time to pull more of those caught in the chest but other than that I won’t disturb you.

(Octavia)  you mean you trust me enough to leave your chest in my home and trust that I won’t steal it?

(troll)  O I’m not worried about that it is quite impossible for you to steal anything.  Go ahead and try I said moving aside so she could get the chest.

She then pursued several experiments to try and pull something out of the chest but whenever she did anything she found it empty.

I was going to explained her exactly what the Ender chest did but then I heard a knock at the door.  Was that I asked?

(Octavia )  O that’s just vinyl scratch my roommate the reason I bought this home in the first place.

It was at point in time that I am once again felt the urge to troll after all I am troll bridge.  The sneaking behind or the door opened I waited silently for her to walk through.  As the white unicorn with purple sunglasses walked through i jump out in the attempt to startle her.  The entire time screaming things that a ghost might say the ghostly voice.

(troll)  leave this place or suffer my curse.  I said in a ghostly style as I move mysteriously behind her.

The pony then looked me give only a moment’s hesitation and then simply said…

(vinyl scratch)  sweet our house is haunted.

End of chapter two.