The Stick of Truth: Equestria

The cyan furred Pegasus let out a series of muffled grunts as she struggled against the ropes binding her. Twilight, Douche-Bag and Rarity stared up at her as Rainbow Dash struggled, the force of her thrashing making her cyan body swing slightly. The ropes creaked but held her tight. Twilight turned to look at her companions, a light blush on her face. Rarity, in true dramatic fashion had hidden her face behind her hooves, her whole face changing from its normal alabaster to a rather ugly shade of red. Douche-Bag meanwhile, was staring past the tied up Pegasus. The length of rope that Rainbow Dash had used to tie herself up was looped around her in a criss-cross fashion, looping around each leg and under her mid-section designed to tighten the moment it was pulled taught. The length of rope was stretching high into the air, held in place by several brackets attached to the ceiling. The rope disappeared behind the higher level banister. And unless he was very mistaken, something was glinting, half hidden in the gloomy rafters...Ignoring the muffled obscenities the kinky Pegasus was throwing at him, Douche-Bag walked past Twilight, his eyes searching for anything useful. There! His eyes picked out several small bundles of hay, all arranged in neat, square packages. Each were tied with frayed ropes...Douche-Bag gripped one of the hay packages and pulled it out, leaving it just under the Pegasus. He repeated this until he'd accumulated a sizable pile.

"Douche-Bag? What are you doing?" Twilight demanded, watching the silent stallion as he maneuvered the hay bales around. Rainbow Dash growled behind her gag, glaring daggers at Douche-Bag. The Stallion ignored the three mares, carefully moving his way around the walls of the barn, occasionally putting his hoof through the rotten timbers until finally, he tapped one of the panels. A rusty ladder slid down the wall, appearing as though by magic. "Douche-Bag?" Twilight asked. Douche-Bag ignored her, awkwardly climbing the few rungs to the udder floor. The Stallion disappeared as he climbed over the lip of the rotten banister, wriggling up onto the rotten timbers. Twilight turned her attention back to her bound up friend, her eyes looking over the harness. Well..." The violet Unicorn said slowly, her eyes flickering over the rope harness. "I can use my magic to cut the ropes holding you up but without knowing how you made that harness..." Twilight's monologue was interrupted by the Pegasus's muffled growl. The Pegasus was blushing thickly, wiggling her form like a worm. "Rainbow Dash!" Twilight squealed angrily, taking a step back. "This is not the time for that...well maybe not right now but.." The Unicorns flustered outbursts were interrupted by a loud creaking noise. Douche-Bag's head had appeared over the end of the banisters. "What in Equestria are you doing Douche-Bag?" Twilight demanded. Then she noticed it. Douche-Bag had discovered a little pulley and motor system, half hidden by a little pile of hay. The ropes Rainbow Dash was tied up in were stemming from the little spool attached to the motor. Douche-Bag raised a hoof and pressed it against the motor. "D-Douche-Bag...I don't think that's very...!"

CRACK

Douche-Bag's hoof smashed into the old motor. The spool of rope, made of old wood, cracked easily under the force of his blow. The spool span high into the air, crashing into one of the rusted brackets holding up the rope. The brackets tore away, one after the other until the Pegasus, no longer supported by the ropes, tumbled onto the hay with a loud puff of dust and hay. Twilight stared as Douche-Bag made his way back down towards them. She hadn't even seen the motor. It was like Douche-Bag had night vision. He was able to see every little detail of the gloomy barn. Shining Armor was the only one who had the same sort of vision. It was like Shining Armor's "Tactical vision." Douche-Bag was able to pick out elements of the environment and use them to his advantage. Though...Twilight shook her head, moving over to the still tied up Pegasus, who was bouncing around on the hay pile, muffled obscenities streaming from behind the cloth gag. Gripping the knots with her magic, Twilight set about untying her friend. The moment the ropes fell away, the Pegasus jumped up, tore the gag off her face and charged at Douche-Bag, pinning him against the wall, her pinkish-red eyes narrowed in anger, her teeth bared in a predatory snarl. Despite the angry look, Douche-Bag could still see the faint blush on the Pegasus's cheeks.

"No...Pony...hears...about...this...Bub!" The Pegasus growled, pushing her face against the Silent Stallion's. Douche-Bag blinked at her, slightly surprised by the speed of the Pegasus. "You understand me?" Demanded the cyan Pegasus, her eyes narrowing again. Rainbow Dash had the sort of voice that, whilst female, seemed both young and old at the same time. It was firm and strong, though seemed to be constantly on the verge of breaking, like she was going to either go through puberty or cry. Her mane and tail were cut in a jagged fashion and her cyan fur brought out the bright colors of her rainbow mane and tail. She pressed her face slightly closer to Douche-Bags. "You deaf or something bro?" The Pegasus growled angrily. Douche-Bag blinked again. This seemed to enrage the Pegasus even more, as she suddenly pulled away from him and whirled to Twilight and Rarity. "Who the hay is this Twilight?" she demanded. The Unicorn, looking slightly annoyed, moved over, her purple magic gripping the brash Pegasus by the ear. "Owowowow! Leggo of my ear!" demanded the Pegasus, trying hard to pull away from the painful grip on her sensitive ear. Twilight dragged her friend over to a secluded corner and whispered into her friends ear, still held in Twilight's powerful grip. After several minutes of harsh whispering, Twilight dragged the complaining Pegasus back over to Douche-Bag.

"Now then." Twilight growled, sounding like she was trying very hard not to shout. "This...is Rainbow Dash." Twilight's magic faded from the grumbling mares ear. "She can be a little brash, a little..." Douche-Bag tilted his head slightly, his eyes flickering over the pile of ropes behind them. Twilight blushed. "Y-Yes Rainbow Dash can be a bit brash and hot-headed but she has a good heart." she turned to Rainbow Dash. "Now then...Don't you have something to say to Douche-Bag?" Rainbow Dash gave a loud grumble, her head turned away as she massaged her sore ear. "Rainbow Dash?!" Twilight demanded angrily. "Don't you have something to say to Douche-Bag?" She repeated. The Pegasus sighed in annoyance. She reminded Douche-Bag of child who wasn't getting her way. "Rainbow?!" Twilight's voice had started to rise again. The Pegasus flinched slightly. Then, finally, she opened her mouth.

The pink Party Pony bounced up the road, a happy grin on her face. Pinkie-Pie was always a happy Mare. It was what made her so charming, or at least that was what Twilight told her. Twilight always had big words to describe different things. Most were so big that Pinkie often had no idea what they meant but she guessed that they meant something good. As the pink Mare bounced along the road, already thinking about Douche-Bags welcome to Ponyville party, she noticed a Pony standing by the road. Her newest friend had returned. He was clad in a black cloak, under which could be seen brown fur. His pinprick like eyes were watching the old barn in the distance. As usual, the Stallion was wearing his trademark headband with a fake skull on it. Pinkie let a soft giggle escape her as she bounced to a stop beside him. She'd met the stallion a few weeks ago, on her journey back to Ponyville. Whilst he was charming in his own way, Pinkie-Pie couldn't understand why he wouldn't come to one of her parties. Every-Pony in the area knew that to miss a Pinkie-Pie Party was tantamount to a deadly sin in Ponyville. But then again, Twilight did say it wasn't a good idea when making friends to be pushy. Being pushy was something that drove away potential friends.

"Hiya!" She squealed in delight, coming to a stop in front of him. "What're you doing here? I thought ya couldn't make it to my party." The Stallion blinked at her calmly. Pinkie giggled. "Are ya suuuuure you can't come? Douche-Bag'll be excited to meet a new friend." The Stallions eyes flickered slightly, his lips curling into a snarl. Pinkie giggled playfully. "Aw! Don't be like that! I'm sure you'll have fun if you come along!" The Stallion opened his mouth to talk. A loud voice shouted out. Pinkie turned her head and felt a wide smile spread across her face. Twilight-Sparkle, Rainbow-Dash, Rarity and Douche-Bag were all walking up the road. "Hey, they're just in time." Pinkie squealed turning to look at her friend. "You can meet them all at....last..." The Stallion had vanished, as if by magic. Pinkie sighed but kept her wide smile. "Well...Later then." giggled Pinkie, turning to join her friends. As the pink Pony bounced down the road, the Stallion reappeared from behind the tree, his illusion magic dissipating. His eyes narrowed, hatred boiling in his eyes. It was him! After all his new colleague had done to banish that son of a bitch! He was still alive! A zombie Chef couldn't kill him, an army of evil warriors couldn't slow him and even a dimensional vortex trap from another world couldn't stop him! The Stallion felt anger boiling up inside of him, bubbling like acid. What would it take for him to be rid of Douche-Bag?

"So you're called Douche-Bag huh?" Rainbow Dash asked as she, Twilight, Rarity and Douche-Bag made their way along the dusty road. After the brash Pegasus had, grudgingly, apologized for threatening him, the group had left the barn and headed towards Ponyville. The Pegasus was walking beside Douche-Bag, her eyes traveling from Douche-Bag's calm eyes to his body. "And he doesn't talk much huh?" she asked, her eyes rolling to look at Twilight. The violet Unicorn nodded, smiling. "That's pretty hot..I mean cool!" Rainbow Dash stammered. Douche-Bag blinked at the flustered Pegasus. "So...yeah." The Pegasus smiled at him, jumping into the air and doing two or three loop-the-loops. "I'm Rainbow Dash! The best flier in Equestria." Douche-Bag blinked at her. "Well...that was a cruddy reaction." The Pegasus said in annoyance, dropping back to the ground. "I'm used to more...awe-struck reactions!" She gave a shrug. Douche-Bag continued to stare at her. "Do you have to do that?" The Pegasus asked in annoyance. "Normally I like ponies staring at me but..." Twilight and Rarity both started giggling whilst Douche-Bag simply blinked at her. "T-That came out wrong!" The Pegasus stammered, stamping her hoof in frustration. "I only meant...argh! It doesn't matter!" It was the sound of the wind whistling that Douche-Bag first noticed. It was an all to familiar noise to him.

"RAINBOW-DAAAAAAASH!" Douche-Bag took several steps away from Rainbow-Dash just as the familiar pink blur crashed into the Pegasus. As he'd suspected, it was Pinkie-Pie, who'd been speeding directly towards them. He could still see the dust trail that the Party Pony had kicked up in her haste to knock the rainbow maned Mare over. "Oh-my-goodness-Dashie-its-been-so-long-since-I-last-saw-ya-we-need-to-have-a-party-to-celebrate!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed happily. Rainbow Dash gave a nervous chuckle,trying hard to push off the hyperactive pink Pony. Douche-Bag could see that the Pegasus was sweating, looking slightly embarrassed by the affection that her hyperactive was showing towards her. Douche-Bag felt the beginnings of irritation building inside of him. It was just like falling into a children's cartoon. The pink Ponies attitude was like a permanent sugar rush. It would take him a lot of time to get used to these ponies attitudes. They were all like different levels of crazy on the crazy spectrum. This was going to be a long day...