*Silent Protagonist Noises*

Princess Celestia glanced to the stone statue in the garden, a frown forming on her muzzle. Gazing through one of the stained windows in her castle, she took notice of the several cracks swirling around the foundation. The horrified look on the statue’s complexion seemed to curl into a sneering smirk, although she blamed it on her not getting enough sleep.

She knew that the one thousand year banishment was soon coming to an end, and that her land would once again be plagued by his chaos. As he once so eloquently put; “Hahahah!” The last time she banished him was a necessity to assure the safety of her subjects, but now he’s going to want revenge.

Her sister left to clean up the throne rooms after their prank war, as she was the one to start it. While it was a valiant battle, Princess Celestia is still finding pieces of cake in her mane and tail. Which is something that eludes her, as her mane is ethereal.

Scanning around the garden, she noticed a group of fillies and colts being led by a teacher. Miss Cheerilee, if she recalls from one of Twilight's letters. Three fillies kept fighting near the statue until Miss Cheerilee caught on and reprimanded them.

Princess Celestia gasped when she saw the statue’s eye move. It is him waking up, then. She sighed loudly as she trotted to the Elements of Harmony chamber, her trot soon evolving into a gallop as she skid to a halt in front of it.

She placed her horn inside of a hole, shoving it inside roughly, with no patience. The hole clenched tight on her horn as she penetrated it, her horn lighting up and about to burst. She pulled out and thanked the heavens as the door shifted and opened up.

Activating her horn, she levitated a decorated box over to herself and lifted the lid, peering inside. Hearing herself gasp for the second time that day, her mind raced with a million thoughts per second at the misfortunate sight of the box being empty.

H-How could this be?! The only pony that has the access and knowledge to open the door is herself and Luna! There is no reasonable, logical explanation as to why this box in her hooves has no contents. There is not a single one. This must be the work of Discord.

Just then, she heard the sound of metal clashing against metal behind her. Standing up and turning around, she faced a familiar sight. Standing in front of her was a tall, armored knight. Except there is a weird thing on its back… This must be the guardian she ordered online.

Throwing the Elements of Harmony to her, she caught all six of them and dropped them into the box. Shutting it, she saw the knight writing on a piece of paper with a quill. It grunted angrily and then crossed something out before finally turning the paper to face her.

“You call?” She read aloud, narrowing her eyes to perceive the words better. Well, this really what she ordered, it seems. She smiled slightly as she devised a plan inside of her head, all the pieces coming together nicely. “Alright, this is what I need you to do…”

* * *

Two Days Later…

The land of Equestria was in total chaos. Houses spun wildly in the air, the occupants flailing around inside of their home. The ground was reminiscent of a checkboard, and several pathways were transformed into a soapy texture, anypony who dared step onto it would spiral out of control.

Pink, fluffy clouds floating high above the ground poured down pure chocolate rain, and there was a pony twisting his head away from the microphone to breathe before continuing to sing about the situation. And in the midst of this mess were the Elements of Harmony, being involuntarily thrown into a game with the Spirit Of Chaos himself.

“Where’s Princess Celestia?!” Twilight Sparkle yelled at Discord, the small unicorn furious. The other bearers were staring daggers into him, all of them standing behind the purple mare.

“Oh, dear Celestia? I assure you, Twilight, that she is quite fine. After all, she always wanted to see the Moon herself.” He jubilantly replied, grabbing the Moon with his claw and holding it. On top of it were miniature versions of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. They were shouting with a squeaky voice, but their size made it difficult to make out what they were saying.

“Stop this! Or we'll be forced to use the Elements of Harmony!” Twilight Sparkle hollered at the Demon Spawn, her horn lighting up as she grabbed the Elements of Harmony and placed them on her and her friends.

“Oh, those decorated bargain bin jewelry pieces? Oh dear, Celly never told me how funny you really are! I assure you, Sparkle, I- Oh no.” The life drained from Discord’s face as he cowered in fear from the last person he wanted to see. He locked him in a box for a reason!

“That’s not going to-” Twilight's words hitched in her throat as a knight plastered in armor stepped next to her, cracking his knuckles and rolling his neck, a sickening crack ringing out. He stepped forward and grabbed Discord by the scruff of his beard.

Grinning under his helmet, Doomguy began to pummel the living hell out of the Spirit of Chaos, his body changing with each hit. From a flamingo to a small bird, his body transformed after each consecutive punch the marine delivered. He heard several gasps to his left and turned to look.

Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy all gasped and their jaws were wide open in shock. The marine lifted his free hand and gave them a thumbs-up before shrugging and returned to brutally assaulting Discord.

“I think you've done enough, Doomguy.” Princess Celestia piped up, a small smirk appearing on her face. She walked up to him and Discord before she closed her eyes and Discord disappearing, the world returning to normal. “I thank you for your services, but I no longer require them.”

She raised her hoof up for a hoofshake, but he instead bumped his fist against the frog of hers and wiggled his fingers as he slowly brought his hand back. Celestia blinked, but regained her composure and Doomguy disappeared, him being content that defeated another demon.

The End.