Rip And Tear

The Day He Did Not Rip And Tear

Doomguy found himself playing the game where he’s playing himself. The blue princess called it ‘Doom’ or something similar, he can't recall. But, he was infatuated with it. It reminded him of when he was killing demons in Hell and ripping and tearing like the good old days. Sure, it didn't look that great, looking something akin to mushed up guts, but it was fun! When he was winning, anyway.

He shot a cyberdemon in the back with his pistol, yet it didn't fall. His persona grunted as he died, signaling the end of his time. Doomguy found himself throwing the controller at the wall, watching it smash into a million pieces, littering the floor with chunks of plastic and electrical wires. He wordlessly picked up another controller out of the gigantic box that sat next to him, filled with an endless supply of cheap controllers that got the job done, and he connected it to the console before pressing play.

As he spawned in, he saw his horrible looking face contort as he was shot up by an imp, and he fired his pistol at the imp and observed as it exploded into a shower of blood and guts. Clearing the rest of the room, Doomguy reloaded and went to continue on when the door to Luna’s room was knocked on, interrupting his session of fun. Grunting to himself, he stood up begrudgingly and stumbled to the door, swinging it open.

In front of him was a familiar guard, Private Solar Eclipse, and she gulped as she slowly gazed upwards at the marine before shakily speaking. “T-There is a d-d-demon in Princess Celestia’s room!” She managed to squeak out as she cowered before him. Doomguy opted to not reply, instead he grabbed his trusty chainsaw and stormed past her, traipsing to the room that belonged to the white princess, Celestia.

Guards that stood in the hallway blanched at the sight of him as he walked past him, audible gulps resounding in the hallway as he passed them, his intent clear in his blank mind; Rip and tear, same as always. The grandiose hallway ended as he came face-to-face with the solar-themed quarters and he grunted as he kicked the door open, the weight and strength of his leg forcing the door to fly off of its hinges. His blood-stained chainsaw revved up and he prepared for the worst.

“Doomguy, please! It is rude to barge in without announcing. But, please, enjoy Lilith and I for some tea, why don't you?” At the mention of Lilith, Doomguy glared at the white mare, her red mane and black bow glimmering in the sun. A red aura surrounding her horn as a tea cup raised itself to her mouth, and she daintily sipped from it. Doomguy knew where that mouth has been, and it is defiling that perfectly designed teacup! His eyes flickered to her cutie mark, a flaming black skull, and he stepped forward.

“Oh, hello! I remember you! Why, I believe your friend Phobos, I believe his name was, once summoned for my services!” Lilith exuberantly recalled, the tips of her mouth curling upwards into a warm smile. Doomguy blanched at what she said, and he grunted disgustedly. He always knew that Phobos was weird, but not that weird! He and Phobos need to have a very long conversation regarding the matter of summoning succubi mares.

“Here. Have a cup of tea. I’m sure that grunting all the time damages your throat, no?” Celestia spoke up, filling another small cup with steaming, hot tea. Smoke bellowed from the full cup and she levitated the cup to Doomguy, who snatched the cup out of her magical grasp and smacked it against his visor, brown liquid cascading down his golden visor. Lilith chuckled awkwardly at the display as Celestia giggled like a small foal. “My, you're clumsy! Have another, just make sure to not spill it this time. It's imported from Zebrica!”

The demon-slayer noticed a pad of paper and a quill, and he approached it. Picking up the quill out of the cup of black ink, he began scrawling out a question on the blank piece of paper, his chainsaw now lying on the coffee table. Blood leaked from the saw and collected into a small puddle on the crystal clear table, trickling down one of the legs onto to the ground. Celestia smiled warmly at Doomguy whilst Lilith stared intently at the puddle of bodily-fluid with an odd glint in her dark violet eyes.

“‘Why is she here?’” Celestia read aloud from the paper that Doomguy wrote on, his arm extended towards her position on the couch and Celestia innocently smiled. “Why, a princess needs company every once in awhile! Is there a problem with that?” Doomguy blinked before he scribbled another question onto to the paper, and he once again shoved the paper in the alicorn’s face.

“‘Why a succubi when there are multiple stallions in the vicinity at all times?’” She stared at the words until her mouth formed a wordless ‘o’ shape before she chuckled playfully. “Not that kind of company, silly! Lilith is a very nice and generous mare, and I find her special talent to be very interesting. It's not everyday where you find a pony whose profession is ru-”

“I think this conversation is getting a little out of control! Doomguy, why don't you, uh, go play a game or something! Yeah, do that!” Lilith suddenly piped up, a frantic look on her face as she waved her hooves around sporadically. Doomguy gazed at her silently before he dropped the paper and smashed the cup of ink against his visor as he retrieved his bloody chainsaw, and went to leave the small room, Celestia giving a short wave as he left the room.

The last thing Lilith and Celestia saw of Doomguy for the room was Doomguy poking his head inside, black ink still dribbling down his visor, and he made a motion with his fingers, pointing from himself to Lilith until he left for real. Celestia coughed as she placed the teacup down and locked the door before she turned to Lilith, a teasing glint in her violet eyes.

“Wanna’ fuck?”