Meet the Team?

All around you was nothingness,a black and empty void. Darkness seeped from every perceivable angle you could glimpse, though it was not a hostile darkness. Not like a nightmare of being buried alive, no this was a peaceful kind of darkness, like a warm blanket surrounding you protectively. Yet you were suspended by unseen force. You shiver, not because you were cold, but for the fact you knew exactly what was going on. You were in the dream world, one made by a particular Alicorn who had unfinished business with you. For the fact you were aware of this dream, it was proof enough that she wanted you to be lucid for this dream. However much to to your surprise it is not the dark alicorn that steps out from the darkness but the princess of the sun instead.

“Greetings Anon,” the motherly princess approaches you,”I'm sure you're wondering why I have brought you here.” The princess trots over to your floating consciousness, observing you as she would an interesting insect that happen upon her sitting room. “Praise the sun? Sunbutt is best butt? Cake flank by Celestia? Do any of these statements ring a bell?”

As you try to respond you find that are unable to.You were trapped in your own dream, unable to move or even respond. If you didn’t suffer from claustrophobia then, you most certainly will now as the princess of the sun watches your floating form. A smirk appears on her face causing a chill to run down your spine. It was one of those ‘I know looks’ one that a mother gives a guilty child after catching them eating a cookie they weren't supposed to have till dinner.

“Don't bother Anon, I know all about you lovely writings you left in my sitting room. In such a hurry to impress us with your witty invention you forgot to clear the boards of your most,” she smirks ever so darkly, “Slanderous words, about my flank, as well as my habit of enjoying cake.” She presses her hoof against your form,right where your mouth would be,”Shhh, Not a word, but do give ghostly my regards” With a wink and a quick flip, she bucks square in the chest, causing the dream to abruptly end.

The force of the kick in the dream world causes you to jolt awake. You open your eyes to a familiar dark ceiling,little magically enchanted plastic stars glow softly on it. They were a gift from a dear friend in your earlier days of Equestria. The stars made up the constellations you remembered from your world, a price of home to help you sleep at night. The tranquility of your room ceiling soon passes as panic sets in as you realize you can’t feel your arms. A familiar numbness of dead limbs plague your mind, until a soft snort off to your right brings your fears crashing down.

Turning your head you see a familiar pony snuggling your trapped arm like a teddy bear, her usually mohawke style mane now let down in long flowing ponytail. Her face held a serene look of peace and happiness, as she held tightly to your limb. It was not unusual for her to sneak into your room at night and cling to you. It happened more often than not, her fear of being alone at night often lead her to your room. At first you were put off by it the first time it happened when accepted her offer as to be her roommate, but over the time you spent here you grew comfortable with it, almost expecting it at times.

To think a mare who’s family deals in with the supernatural and Equestria's most deadliest creatures was afraid of sleeping alone. Then again, you chalked it up to a survival instinct, better to stick together then apart. Your mind slowly pull the cobwebbed of sleep from your tired mind, as you rest your head back on the pillow you try to figure out why your other arm is numb. One mystery of a dead limb was solved as for the other limb, turning to your left was more of a surprise than you expected, a vaguely familiar mare with a fiery orange and yellow mane, clinged just as tightly to your arm as Ghostly was. It took a few moments for your tired mind to place the face of the mare to someone you knew. A quick glancing of her body told you it was a pegasus, then it hit you she was the very captain of the wonderbolts, Spitfire.

You have no idea how this managed to happen, as you try to piece together last night's events after your celebration of getting accepted to the R&D team. After getting moonaided by Luna and suffering from a numb tongue due to that , forcing you to take medicine for it, you showered off at home, where Ghostly and a few close ponies to both you and Ghostly had gone out to celebrate your new job. You remember drinking quite a bit, but not enough to get drunk and have a hangover, after all as careless as you could be sometimes, going to work with a hangover would not be a good impression for your dream job.

Drawing a blank as to why, as you listen to the sounds of their soft breathing,then it hits you, the soft scent of cinnamon and what could be best described as African rains. You realized you have a idea of what might have happened. Tiny lesbian horses now trapped your arms, after they had their romp, they must have came into your room to pest you. However since Luna had you in the dream realm against your own will,l you missed out on what they had planned for you.Though it didn't explain why they were clinging to your arms at all. You just assumed whatever they wanted they must have given up and decided to lay down with you for some unknown horse logic.

That's what you're gonna chalk it up to and call it a day. Once you carefully extract yourself from the two ponies you try to wiggle your fingers, though numb they moved on command. Good you won't need to get your arms amputated due to nerve damage or anything, how ever that worked. Now that you were free, the two ponies in the bed scoot closer closing the gap you had caused, seeking warmth they grasp each other in their hooves. It was a cute site, two ponies snuggling each other one a unicorn the other a pegasus, and as much as you would love to interrupt their moment and continue their party from last night, plus one,but you had to get ready for work.

Canterlot R&D Facility

Just outside the Royal Canterlot Research and Development Facility, deep within the Canterlot Castle, once was the very crystal caverns that held long abandoned mines and the once holding place of Princes Cadence during the changeling invasion, now converted to chambers upon chambers dedicated to the Sciences and development of magic and future technology. The conversion process took countless bits, and endless work hours, all in the name of progress. After the treaty with the changeling queen, which had after several attempts on the personal student of Celestia and a few more failed foalnappings that the Queen swallowing her pride approached Luna, seeking the Princess of night for a truce.

The deal allowed Chrysalis to open, ‘Love Houses’ aka (w)horse houses throughout Equestria. In exchange Changelings were used to supplement the building process as well as to allow them to be seen in a more friendlier light in by ‘Helping Equestria’ in its biggest magic/technology expansion ever. Not even the mage's tower had nearly as much of a expansion since the time of Star Swirl the Bearded.

Thanks to the Treaty construction of the Research and Development labs were finished years ahead of schedule. So much so, that it was currently only staffed with a very few ponies, even fewer researchers. The future of Equestria’s researchers were just that, foals and colts were specifically chosen to become the leaders of the R&D laboratories, however now that the job had been finished well before their education was, it was up to Celestia and Luna to hand select individuals that would fulfill the jobs needed now, and then be used to guide and help the new batch of scientist fit into their roles.

Standing before two massive doors, embossed with the moment of signing if the Treaties, Chrysalis and a swarm of changelings on one side of the doors and Luna and Celestia surrounded by ponies signified the new found peace they created for a better tomorrow.

You just scoff at the door, it's bronzed surface flickered in the torchlight, you felt it was rather excessive in the first place, but then again the Celestia sisters had some kind of history fetish and wanted to put it everywhere you looked. Take the throne room for example, Stainglass of every pivotal point in Equestrian history. Speaking of Celestial beings, the princess of the sun, in flesh this time, trots up to you with a warm smile.

“Good morning Anonymous, did you sleep well?” She coyly asks. You only grunt in response rolling your eyes at her. She damn well knew how you slept, like a rock thanks to her sister’s interference.

“You Damn well KNOW, how I slept last night!” you grumble at her, sipping at your coffee you had snagged from the castle’s kitchens, the last cup too. “I missed out on being in a threesome with not only my roommate, but fucking Spitfire! The captain of the wonderbolts!” You inform her with a disgruntled tone.

The princess simple laughs, a musical tone full of life, but her tone turns to a more cautious one, ”You know Anon, those mares would have very well been the end of you.”

You offer her a uncaring shrug,”So, would have been worth it none the less, anyways moving on from my very well non-existent love life thanks to you and your sister, I'm ready for the tour of the place.”

Celestia chuckled as she magics the door open,”You caused quite a stir last night,you know,” she trots in leading you through the doors into a larger chamber,”I sent the details of your Jarate to the team right after you left my office and the team has been working non-stop all last night to not only recreate your jarate but to further improve and make it something...Far more” she pauses smirking,”Appropriate substance inside, for every royal guard and law officer of Equestria to use.The combination of anti-magic ring upon a common item to override the advantage a unicorn has in creating a barrier as well as bypassing telekinesis will give Earth ponies as well pegasi equal footing to in apprehending criminals. Especially in towns and cities that lack the presence of any unicorn guard,” Celestia continues as you follow her through the doorway, leading you down a well lit hall, with a quick glance you notice they are using a combination of magic and electrical lighting, “Crystal Empire for example has only earth ponies as its defenses.”

As Celestia continues to go on about towns and cities that would greatly benefit from a refined version of your Jarate design, you can't help but look around, everything about this compound, that's the best way to describe such a massive laboratory inside a mountain to call it, screams of Evil Villain's lair. You wonder to yourself if you could requisition a cat and shave your head. Then all you would need to do was sit in a fancy chair while you give orders to the plebeians-err scientists.

“Then I took the whole thing up my ass, it was a sight to see, the Sultan of Saddle Arabia was most greatly pleased, though the yak-yakistans were rather upset for the loss of their yams.”

That brings you back from your wandering thoughts, turning to a cocky grinning Celestia,you could tell Troll mode was fully engaged with her, “Really now? Those poor poor yams, I prefer a squash myself, makes good soup.” You reply trying to pretend you were listening.

That brings a grin to her face,”Yes I bet you do,” under her breath you could swear she said something else closely sounding awfully like ,’like my sisters’, She magics opens the door at the end of the hall your journey had taken you to, “And now here we are Anonymous Welcome to the Research and Development lab, This here is the primary lab: Alpha, our top of the line lab where only ,and our only, Department heads and top developers work together to further the better of Pony, no All citizens and allies of Equestria!” With a grand Flourish of her wings she moves out of the way of the door allowing you to see inside to relatively large lab before you.

When you dreamed of becoming a researcher and being able to create great things to benefit humanity you lacked many things, one was primarily money and skills. You had an immense imagination yet no motivation, yet you dreamed day after day of going to a lab and putting together ideas and dreams together to change the way the world was. Now you are living that dream in another life,in a world of ponies. The sight before you is, well...Something you only would imagine in the most far fetched dreams

Before you were several ponies are running back and forth, papers flying through the air only to be collected up in some ponies magical aura, the layout form what you could see was about six decks lined up in rows of two, facing a glass window that seemed to overlook a deeper portion of the labs. From what you could see in the distance were several crystals and stalactites, jutting from the ceiling. To the left of the room led to a open space where several lab tables full of test tubes beakers and some more arcane looking devices covered them. There was even a cauldron bubbling to a low simmer across from the lab tables. To the right, past some pony filing what seems like endless amount of paperwork was a door, that from what you could see past the small window on the door, and by the sign next to it was Staging Area/Testing Room.

Chalkboards full of illegible equations and diagrams dotted the lab. Overall the lab was large with plenty of room to fit several ponies you estimate at least thirty of them could work in here without a problem, however given that there is currently only six in total in the entire room, making it seem overly spacious, then again Celestia had said it was for the department heads, and lead developers. Due to its overly early completion thanks to changeling efficiently the ponies they had pooled together were the best of the best, or so Celly had said.

The total number of ponies running back and forth was about four ponies, another occupied a desk face deep into several books seeming oblivious to the chaos about the room. In the far corner was another, more regal looking pony, his back turned to the chaos, seemingly working on piles after piles of paperwork continued working without even glancing at your intrusion. The one thing you noticed was every single pony was a unicorn except for one, who was staring rather intently at one of the board which was filled with strange acaric diagrams and equations, in the center of it was something that looked like a muffin. She was the sole pegasus in the entire lab.

“I'm telling you a triangle is the perfect shape!” A blue, minty looking pony said as she runs from one chalkboard to another, closely followed by what would be described as a bacon colored pony who in a more commanding tone,”No Minuette, It's not as aerodynamic as a spherical shape, and that's not even a practical design!”

You look to Celestia and she simply smiles that smile, you know the one she gives ponies when she is up to no good, that trademark ‘Trollestia’ one, before trotting away, “Have fun Anon~”

You look upon the chaos of the room and sigh, you were never good at introducing yourself to others. You were a naturally awkward person, the less exposure to others you had the better, that's why in the long run you took the IT job, you had minimal contact with people and those you did were equally awkward or at least decent enough of a person to understand your awkwardness.

Taking a moment to breath deep you put on your winning smile...well at liest you think it was a winning smile, it more looked like a cringe then anything, and say say hello. The entire room stops what they were doing and stares at you, well except for the book horse and the regal looking pony in the corner. Before a collective gasp fills the room and you're surrounded by ponies, each clamoring for you attention. You wave your hands back and forth feeling rather overwhelmed by all the attention, before the Bacon maned pony clears her throat, and magicking away the mares around you.

Ladies, please, let the human breath, and introduce yourselves in a orderly fashion, no need to overwhelm the newest member of the team now, I for one look forward to finding out his specialties.I always found humans to be” she gives you a coy smile,causing you in turn rub the back of your neck awkwardly,”Intriguing.”

Meet the Team!

Electronics and Lighting Expert:

“Hi I'm Spark Plug! Electrical and lightning specialist,I'm the sole designer of ALL of Equestria's electrical systems!” she giggles lightly, “not that I built it all by myself, it was thanks to Celestia taking notice to my master thesis in Celestia’s School of Gifted unicorns that she picked me to pioneer a new means of energy for cities that were less populated by unicorns and were off the Mana Lay-lines”

The unicorn mare before you was a light purple mare with a violet mane,light streaks of white trail through her mane like bolts of lightning. Her Amber eyes full of excitement watched your every move. Her cutie mark was of a jar containing a spark inside it. She seems awfully friendly if not a little twitchy, occasionally she would make a slight twitch of her ears. Physically speaking she was rather plump, not a fat plump but a mare with fat in the right places. Kinda a Equestria equivalent of a cute curvy girl, only a cute curvy mare instead. She offers you her hoof and you both shake it,”It's a pleasure to meet the newest member of the research and development team, now if you excuse me I have to get back to work on my time machine, now that you're here I can go back to my side project.”

Oddly enough you watch the mare return to her desk and pulls out a cardboard box, ‘Time Machine’ written in what looked like crayon, on it with drawn in valves and readouts. With a quick glance you could swear you see actual computer chips glued to it. That can't be right, Celestia swore that computers were not yet invented, and they were still in the early ages of very basic electronics, with the occasional tech leap from private entrepreneurs like a D.J that made her own Ipod like device.

Muffenologyst:

“Hi! I'm Dr.Ditzy Doo, and have a Doctorate in Muffinology!” she smiles widely, though she was facing your direction one of her eyes seem to wander off on its own direction giving her a cute little cross eyed look. Stupid cute cross eyed ponies and their tiny little doctorates in baked good, gonna give you diabetes on how cute that was. She was a blond maned grey pegasus whose cutie mark was of bubbles, and you noted that she had quite a flank on her, if you didn't say so yourself.

“That is really adorable Dr. Doo, what exactly if muffinology?” you ask trying not to go in diabetic shock

Her smile brightens,”It's the study of muffins and how to improve and make them even better! From discovering new flavors and keeping the warm and moist! I am one of the few who holds a doctorate, only three other ponies have a degree and one of them is a friend in ponyville, the others are in Manehattan and Los Pegasus.”

Well what do you know, in ponyland you can get a doctorate in breakfast goods. After introducing herself to you she returns to her chalkboard staring at the muffin on the board then licking it. Wiping it clear off the board before sticking out her tongue and making a blech sound.
Diabetes is no joke

Sir Gummy:

It's a baby alligator. Wearing a top hat and is in a lab coat. It even has a little I.D. tag that says Sir. Gummy: Partyology Specialist. This leaves you speechless, bad enough you nearly stepped on it, luckily Spark noticed him before you did and moved him out of the way, otherwise you probably would have had a baby gator gnawing on your leg. No one seems to comment on him, and it just stares at you, occasionally blinking one eye then the next. Unable to formulate any kind of logical response you move on to the next member of the R&D team. AS you walk past you hear a party blower go off, and turn to see gator now has a party favor in its mouth and occasionally it would roll out with its breath.

The Time ~~Lord~~ specialist (part time anatomy specialist ):

You find yourself in a chair staring at the ceiling. You begin to wonder to yourself, was the chair you're seated in was design for you or was it the cartoon logic this world ran off of that dictated that you just so happen to have a chair that was properly set for your height. As you stare at the ceiling the moderate sapphire blue eyes of the blue minty pony bobbed in and out of your vision as she was examining your teeth, giving an occasional ‘hmm’ and ‘uh huh’ at your teeth. You would like to say this was only going on for the last five minutes, but it feels like it's been far longer.

“You have quite the dental structure, a mixture of both herbivore flat teeth for grinding as well as carnivore incisors, no cavities either, it seems you maintain your teeth regularly.” the Minty pony relents her magical grasp on you and you rub your tired jaw. You get a better look at the pony before you, another unicorn with a blue coat, her mane was a two toned almost violet blue and a white-ish blue, with a cutie mark of a hourglass.

“I'm Minuette!” she gives you a bright smile as you work the kinks out of your neck, “I specialize heavily in time magic with the occasional dabble in anatomy and dentistry, I tend to find myself with a lot of time when you can manipulate time itself so well.” she chuckles as she offers you her hoof. You shrug and shake it in turn. “I help with time management as well as anything time related in our labs, as well as anything anatomy related”

You point over to Spark Plugs Cardboard time machine,”And what about that?”

Following your finger she shrugs, “Even I don't understand what she is trying to do with that, it's not really a functional time machine it lacks the proper magic to do so. Why with magic I could easily use Star Swirl the Bearded’s time spell and go back in time at any point but why change the past? I prefer to get as much out of my time by going back to experience something new each time, and not bother to change what happens, after all we create our own fates why not enjoy the ride and experience all there is to offer?”

Well that was rather deep,you offer a thank you to her and decide to move on to the next pony, you had a feeling that you would have plenty of time to discuss your thoughts about time and such, even though deep down inside you would get the age old answer: “Big ball of timey wimey stuff”

~~Book horse~~ Magic Spell Specialist:

Before you was a unicorn buried face deep into books, which very well could rival a book fort with the amount of books around her. Her mane done up in a top bun, was brilliant amaranth with moderate purple and grayish violet highlights, while her coat was light yellow gray. Her dark purple eyes were quickly flying quickly from word to word as she skimmed through the book. You awkwardly watch her speed through the book at a rather quick pace. Unsure if you wanted to disturb her as she seemed very busy, the moment you start to move she clears her throat and looks up at you.

“Moon Dancer, Magic spell engineer and personal friend of Princess Twilight. You human have put us under a lot of stress as of late and my personal studies have been put aside for this project,” she scowls at you,”So you very well not buck this project up, this is our one chance to prove to the princess we are not just a waste of resources”

While tempted to point out this ‘project’ they were working on was your idea, you decide to let her have her moment, as the ‘new’ guy you rather not step on any toes at the moment, well hooves as it is. You wanted to be able make a good impression on everyone on the team, after all, if this was gonna be your job having everyone on your side versus being against you would make keeping the job hard, and harder still if everyone hated you it would be hard pressed on Celestia to remove you from the team entirely. No let the book horse have her moment. She had said they were under a lot of stress, which makes you wonder what Celestia had asked of them before you got here. Quietly you leave her to her research and move on to the next pony of the team.

Department Head:

“Anonymous, Welcome to the Research and Development team, I am Sunset Shimmer, Head of the Department, I already read your file and know everything I need to know,” The unicorn mare was brimming with confidence, her vivid crimson and yellow mane seems to glow in the well lit lab, her cyan eyes seem to watch your every move. You didn't even know you had a file about yourself, let alone done anything to warrant one. Though if you had to guess as a foreign entity pop up out of nowhere in your land, taking notes of its actions and behaviours would be a wise idea.

She smiles softly,”Relax, Anonymous I have had personal dealings with humans before,” she pauses,” Well, perhaps human like beings, seeing how you are so similar, yet so far from the ones i have dealt with. I am the department head of the R&D team but I would like for you to treat me like you would a friend, a work environment is far more successful when everyone gets along well then if everyone were to fight against each other. That is why each of the departments are all working together, we are a team, not individual departments vying for funding or fame, but one single entity working for the bettering of Equestria!”

She gives a flourish of magic as she speaks as if to emphasize her point, but more quietly she softly speaks,”I want to be the first to thank you for your idea, it's primitive and highly barbaric, but it has been the most this team has had in months to work with. So thank you Anonymous.”

The Proprietor,Business Head,Prince,PR Rep, Best looking Stallion in all of Equestria, and Council member,Did I mention most Dashing Stallion in all of Equestria?:

“Was all that necessary?” You ask the stallion in the corner doing piles of piles of paperwork.

“Yes, Anon, yes it was, Now that we are in a more formal environment, I am Prince Vladimir Blueblood, founder and funder of these research labs you see before you, funded by my own personal sources, in hopes to one develop a tool that surpasses even the elements of harmony. The very safety of the land should not fall on the reliance of only six mares, it's the responsibility of a leader to provide for their people a means of peace.”

You had met Blueblood previously in your early days of Equestria in less than formal occasions, often running into each other in the halls of the castle on your way to or from work. He had been arrogant and a complete asshole to you, you couldn't help but return his shit attitude right back to him. If there was one thing more in the world that you despised it was stuck up rich bastards with too much money and far too much ego to follow. That night both of you ended up in the castles infirmary. After he had challenged you to a duel it quickly dissolved from a gentleman's duel to a backyard brawl.

It was in that moment the two of you bruised and battered that you met the REAL Blueblood, a strong arrogant, yet scared stallion. Being a prince had its problems, more so then you had imagined, from toadies to gold digging wenches to people expecting him to be able to fix everyone else's mistakes. After the two of you left the next day he offered you his friendship, being the only creature in Equestria to actually stand up against him and actually back up his words. From there he was still a dick but in the end he was also a good friend, somehow.

Now that the introductions to the team was over it was time to get involved in what all the excitement was about. Every one of the ponies had returned to their previous places, with Minuette and Sunset Shimmer were going over basic shapes still, Moondancer buried in books, Spark in her box, Blue filing paperwork and Dr. Doo had redrawn her muffin, but seem to added little circles to simulate blueberries.

“Anonymous, this was originally your invention, why not come over here and let's discuss the new design for the container?” Minuette she waves you over with her hoof, shrugging you join the two mares at the table and look over the designs they had made up so far. Which really could be summed up between triangle or circle.

“If it's gonna be utilized as a throwing device then I would suggest using a more rounder shape like the sphere design here, more aerodynamic and all…”

Two hours later

After discussing and deciding on the shape and what materials to use for the initial casing of the NuJarate, it had taken longer than you had imagined, at one point you had suggested square as a joke and both mares had taken that into account for storage purposes but you managed to get them to stick with a sphere shape in the end. It made more sense to throw a ball then a triangle or square.

What really had your interest was what materials they had proposed to use. Many of them were some kind of enchanted crystal and enchanted woods, but when you reminded them they also had to implement the magic suppression rings the had to go back to the drawing board. Glass was quickly thrown out as not all ponies were as durable as a Alicorn and having the guard hospitalize ponies all over Equestria would not look good at all for the princesses.

Surprisingly Dr. Doo suggested they use a special tree resin that could be molded in any shape and once it was filled with a substance it would be sturdy enough to hold its shape but weak enough to break with just the right force on impact.

You nearly jumped out of your skin when Moon Dancer threw a book onto the table and used her magic to highlight a part of the page. Trotting up to the table she pulls up a chair and waits for you to read what she had highlighted.

This was the part you needed to inform her you can’t read old Equestrian, modern day you could though, as it was plain as English...well it was English. However Old Equestria was pretty much cryptic runes and odd pictures.

“Typical, the point I'm trying to make here is we could utilize changeling secretion for the base of the substance, adding in, more foul smells and taste, would keep the intended effect while still being a strong adhesive like material that can resist basic magic. Its glue like nature would enable easy incapacitation of pegasus as well as quicker moving earth ponies.” Moon Dancer looks to you with an annoyed scowl, “Not that you would have know that, I think we made a breakthrough today, Let's call for lunch and begin drawing up the paperwork for the materials we will need to get a working prototype.”

A number of grumbling agreements on the lunch break fill the lab. You take a moment and reflect on your initial feeling of coming to the labs and after doing some actual work, compare the two. Sure Moondancer was being a bit of a cunt, but on the other hand, you have yet to prove yourself to her either. Given time you know you would feel like a true member of the team, after all with Blue watching your back and Sunset staring at yours...OK, that's a bit creepy, you feel you would fit right in in no time.

“Yeah let's do lunch then we can see if we can't get some test done by tonight!” you say to everyone as you all file out of the labs, I can't help but be excited for this!”

Author's Note

Well here chapter 2 of this nonsense, Took me about almost three days of constant working on and stepping back to get it done. We met the cast of this show now for next time we see how wonderful Science can be with live test! Feel free to leave comments and point out error so I can go in and fix em, and let me know what you think of the cast too!