Into the Muffin of Madness

“Are you sure you do want me to fly with you?” Twilight ask Rainbow Dash, who had stop by to deliver the weather report of the week. “There is some crazy pony out there.”

“Are you taking about what happen to Cheerilee?” Rainbow said, eating an apple. “I’m keep telling ponies, it just a joke that went wrong. We haven’t had a murder in over fifty years.”

“I know.” Twilight said. “But still…”

“Besides,” Rainbow interrupted, throwing the apple core into a bin. “If Cheerilee is able to get out without so much as a scratch, I think I’ll do just fine.” Rainbow stretch and flap her wings a good couple of times. “Alright, I got to fly. Catch you later, Twilight!” With that, Rainbow Dash flew out the window. Twilight sighed and continue to read a book about sewing.

Rainbow darted and speed across the sky, feeling the wind run through her mane. She was so caught up in her flight that she didn’t notice she flew right out of town. She turn around and was about to fly back when she heard something. A voice coming from a well that was a little ways form the small town.

“Help! Oh, Help!” A voice call out from the well. “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” Rainbow Dash flew down and look to see nothing but darkness in the well. The voice came out of it again. “Is there a brave pony who can save me?”

“Don’t worry.” Rainbow Dash said, her voice similar to when she save those pony from the falling balcony. “I’ll save you!”

“OH, Thank You!” The voice said. Rainbow Dash squared up her shoulders and dive into the darkness. She descended with enough speed that she could easily stop without fear of crashing. She hit the bottom and her eyes adjusted to at least notice different shapes in the darkness. She look around and saw what look like a small filly huddle in the corner.

“Don’t worry, little pony.” Rainbow Dash said, reaching a hoof over. “I got you.” As soon as she touch the figure, Rainbow heard a small hissing sound and felt some kind of air brush pass her. “Oh, forget this!” She shouted and shout out of the well in a flash. She hover over the well and look down to see a green smoke bellow out of it.

“You can’t touch this!” She shouted in triumphs and started dancing in the air. She would have continue with this but was cut off when a shovel came down on her head. She black out and didn’t see the pony smirking at the fallen pony.

* * *

Rainbow Dash awoke with a pounding headache and dry mouth. She would of rub her head but realize she couldn’t move at her legs or wings. She look down to see that a rope was wrap around her, like in those old cartoon with train track. Speaking of tracks, Rainbow notice she was on some kind of conveyor belt but the room was too dark to see where it lead. Before she could think about the situation any further, a blinding light flooded the room. Rainbow blink a good couple times before her sight return to her. She look to see that the conveyor belt lead to an opening of some kind of machine.

“Good, I was hoping you be awake for this.” A voice rumble from behind. Rainbow look up to see a pony with a crack white mask and dress in military uniform.

“What in Celestia’s name?” Rainbow Dash said.

“Celestia won’t save you now. Not when you’re in the clenches of the Puzzler.” The pony said dramatically.

“Oh, I thought I was in real trouble.” Rainbow said.

“What!?!” The Puzzler shouted.

“Well, I heard about your little game with Cherilee and I don’t think I will have any problem beating your game.” Rainbow said. “So what the test? I going to outfly a spinning blade or do have to sacrifice my wings to escape?”

“So much pride, ay Rainbow?” The Puzzler said. “You think your better then every other pony? Allowing you to mock whoever you want?” The Puzzler walk over to Rainbow Dash and grab her by the mane. “Take away your wings and what do you have?”

“Element of harmony, saving Equestria multiple times, friends with a princess and being undeniable cool.” Rainbow Dash said, not even flinching. The Puzzler step and started to chuckle. He walk over to the machine and flip a switch, causing the machine to roar to life.

“Let see how cool you are after this wood chipper is done with you!” He roar. Rainbow Dash face drop as she saw the spinning blade that await for her eight feet away.

“Wait, this isn’t a test!!!” Rainbow shouted over the machine. The Puzzler walk over to a switch by the conveyor belt.

“I decided you don’t need a test. Now, time to face your doom!!!” he threw the switch and Rainbow Dash felt small lurch as the conveyor belt started to move. The Puzzler let out long and sister laugh. He continue for five minutes until he look down to see Rainbow Dash only move about an inch.

“Did you get the slowest moving conveyor belt ever?” Rainbow Dash asked, starting to get her confidence back.

“They were having a deal!!!” Puzzler shouted. ‘Besides, you still heading towards the blades. It just taking a lot longer for you to get there!”

“Oh yeah, it not like I could do something like this.” Rainbow said and roll to the side, allowing her to gain more distance from the blades.

“Hey, Stop That!” Puzzler shouted.

“Oh no, I’m doing it again.” Rainbow Dash said in false fear. She rolled to the side and look to see the Puzzler pull put a pole out and started jabbing at her.

“I Said To Stop!” Puzzler said, jabbing with each word. He put one more jab into Rainbow Dash and she roll towards the blades. But he put too much force behind it and the slip past her. The pole went right into the machine, causing him to be thrown across the small room and into a wall. With a loud smack, he slid down and watch as the pole got eaten up.

“That was my last pole!” Puzzler shouted as he got back up. Rainbow started to giggle.

“Got anymore bright ideas?” She said, trying not to laugh too hard. Puzzler look over and jump onto the conveyor belt.

“Just one.” He growled and started pushing Rainbow towards the roaring machine. “I don’t know why I didn’t just do this in the first place.” He mutter as he push her closer to the spinning blades. Rainbow Dash struggled, trying to get away from her fate. She felt the wind of the blade coming closer, with her eyes shut and was about to embrace the pain when she heard the machine make a loud snap and whining down noise. She open her eyes and saw the blades coming to a slowing down and finally stopping.

“Oh, come on!” He shouted and ran to the side. After a second or so, he came back holding a small jug. “I’ll be back. Apparently, a full tank mean something different in the Griffin Kingdom. Don’t move.” He turn away and walk out to a door that was behind them, previously unseen due to darkness and the heat of the moment. Rainbow wait for a minutes then, with one mighty jump, she managed to land on her bottom hooves. She started to hop towards the door and she really hope that some pony finds her because this was exhausting.

* * *

“You told me that the tank would be full!” Puzzler shouted at the traveling griffin in front of cart, shaking a hoof. “This is clearly not full!!!”

“I told you if you pay up front in full, I will fill it with fuel.” The red feather griffin said. She pick up a piece of paper. “I don’t except I.O.U.”

“But the sign said, “No Bits Needed.”” Puzzler pointed to a sigh hanging off her cart.

“That a typo.” The griffin said, pulling out a paint brush. She quickly painted something and the Puzzler saw the sign now said, “No; Bits Needed.”

“Alright, give me a second.” The Puzzler said, and reach into a pouch to pull out bits. The griffin look over his shoulder and gruff.

“You ponies and strange ways. How can you just walk around tied up?” The griffin mutter. The Puzzler turn around to see Rainbow Dash hopping down the street.

“Crap!!!” Puzzler shouted, looking around the cart. He saw a dagger and quickly grab it. He threw some bits down and ran after the bouncing away Pegasus. He chase after her with dagger in hoof, shouting loudly. “I told you to stay still at the house! I guess this will do!”

He dive at Rainbow Dash but she trip over a root at that moment. Rainbow fell to the ground as the Puzzler went flying in the air, soaring into a nearby well. With thundering crash, he fell down the well and Rainbow Dash heard a heavy splash.

“Rainbow? What in the world are you doing, Darling?” Rainbow look to see Rarity walking up to her.

“Rarity, you are not going to believe my day.” Rainbow said, with a sigh.

Muffin’s Diary. Second entry.

Okay, I hate wells. There cold, wet and seem to be everywhere. I barely escape without being spotted. But now I learn another valuable lesson. Don’t buy from traveling merchant, buy locally. Now I got to get my bits back and hope that next time won’t be as painful.