Into the Muffin of Madness

DJ Record Scratch: Well, Well, my little ponies. Look like we have a mad pony on the loose. There been another attempt on a pony life and it a dozy. Late last night, some pony knock out our beloved Rainbow Dash and attempt to shove her into a wood chipper. If not for some luck, our Rainbow Dash would be nothing but dust in the wind. In the studio right now is Rainbow Dash to talk about the terrify experience. (Sound of chair turning.) Now Rainbow Dash, are you sure you want to talk about this?
Rainbow Dash: Relax Scratch, it was not as bad as some ponies are making it out to be.
DJ Record Scratch: Something tells me you are going to have the same opinion of the attacker as Cheerilee does.
Rainbow Dash: Oh no, I have a much lower opinion.
DJ Record Scratch: Ouch.
Rainbow Dash: I mean, if you’re going to imitate a famous killer, put some work into it. It wasn’t even a test, just tie me up like I’m some damsel in distress. You don’t think there ever been hazing in the Wonder Bolts? I been hog tied more times then I like to count.
DJ Record Scratch: I bet your fans do.
Rainbow Dash: (chuckle) Yeah, I still get plenty of those letter.
DJ Record Scratch: So, you weren’t at all scared during this ordeal?
Rainbow Dash: Well, there were some tense moments but I been in worst situation than that.
DJ Record Scratch: Yes, you save this world how many times? Or this town for that matter.
Rainbow Dash: Well, not only that but I’d lived in Cloudsdale. It’s a flying military fortress that controls the weather. One wrong turn and you can find yourself in all kinds of trouble.
DJ Record Scratch: Really? What do you mean?
Rainbow Dash: Have you ever seen a filly fall into a rainbow machine? It is not pretty.
DJ Record Scratch: Alright, let not scar any pony tonight. (Noise of door opening) Ah, now I have a second guest joining us tonight. From the police station and head of the investing force, Mr. Brute Force.
Brute Force: Thanks for having me, Scratch.
DJ Record Scratch: Now, Mr. Force. Why haven’t you caught this pony yet? From the testament of the two victims, he doesn’t sound very smart.
Brute Force: The problem is that each time, the pony wore something that cover his face. We interview every male in town but they all have alibis for both events. We think it some outside pony but there been no report of any stranger in town.
DJ Record Scratch: That is a problem. Now, I’ve been getting reports of an increase of self-defense spells and weapons being purchase. Should ponies be worry at all about this mad pony?
Brute Force: In my honest opinion, No. This pony is clearly delusional yes but dangerous, he far from it. What I got from the witnesses is this pony is a complete moron. I really blame the media for trying to hype up something that probably be solve in a few days.
DJ Record Scratch: Quite right. Now tune in next time as we dive deeper in this madness. Could you be next?
Brute Force: What did I just say?
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