Alfreda and Cell's Further Wanderings

"What?!" Commander Peepers yelled looking at The King of Bingleborp on screen. "What do you mean you're seeing someone else?!"

"Well you see you were off on the other side of the galaxy so someone else came and took over, they're even worse then you and Hater."

"WHAT!?" Hater yelled. "I'm the greatest in the galaxy! No one is better then me! Who said it? Sourdough? Screwball Jones? Emperor Awesome?!"

"Actually it was-" King Bingleborp never finished as a metal hand grabbed the camera and turned it to face him revealing it as "Captain Glacier, planetary conquerer, and the Greatest in the Galaxy!" Glacier said raising his sword causing a lightning strike then laughing.

"Who are you again?" Hater asked confused.

"Oh I'm sorry, you may be more familiar with my superior. Allow me to introduce her, The Duchess of Destruction! the Mistress of Mayhem! The Greatest in the Universe!"

"LORD DOMINATOR!" Dominator yelled popping onto the screen in her suit before changing out looking at Hater with a smug smile. "Hey Hater how've you been lately? I've been good, just took over one of your planets and my army is still doing so as I speak. Conquering planets instead of destroying them is a lot more fun then just destroying them. Just wanted to gloat, love you! Just kidding love your misery though bye!" Dominator then hung up leaving the Skullship silent.

Peepers slammed his head repeatedly on his desk in rage as the map showing the Hater Empire, almost 2/3 of it lost to Lord Dominator. "HOW!? HOW DIE SHE COME BACK!?" He yelled in rage.

"Commander Peepers?" A Watchdog asked him walking in.

"WHAT!?"

"Some guy walked up to the ship and said he could explain what's going on."

"Bring him in." Peepers commanded to which several more Watchdogs brought in Cell. "Hello C Peeps, Cell, fan of your work. Yeah I'm the one that resupplied Dominator."

Peepers' eye twitched slightly before he spoke into the microphone. "LORD HATER! WATCHDOGS! GET IN HERE!" Every Watchdog and Lord Hater ran straight into the room surrounding Cell. "This idiot gave one of the most dangerous beings in the galaxy an entire arsenal stronger then her old one!"

"Does it help that I actually reverse engineered it all from something else?"

"NO!"

"Whoa, someone's got a lot of built up anger inside."

"Because some idiot undid everything I was trying to fix for the past season...of my life."

"Calm down, give her some time, she'll conquer some planets then get bored and sort of wander off. At least that's what I did."

Dominator laughed firing lava around as her Volcanium Soliders moved in.

Who is the universe's awesomest evildoer?

Dominator!~

All Right

Who set the record for most cosmic explosions?

Dominator!~

"You got Dominated!" Glacier cheered on one planet with a pelvic thrust.

Hot lady villain coming back you should run!

She's number one!~

Dominator!~

Dominator and Glacier laughed as they looked at the chart seeing Dominator at 3 in the top 5 on the Galactic Villain Leader Board.

Glacier and Dominator danced in celebration, Dominator doing her own rendition of the Worm while Glacier ironically did the Robot, some other Soldiers joining in with their own dances.

Cell watched Dominator and some of her army dancing from his hidden tree spot, watching her closely through a telescope. "She's hot when she's dancing."

"If you're doing this isn't she hot to you period?" Alfreda asked over the comms making Cell panic before he wrapped himself around the tree branch he was on. "Yes she is, do you have any new I could use Yellow Deathless? Over."

"Just anything I could pull up on Wander and Sylvia, and as it turns out she's planning to give you a quick and painless death for your gift of dooming the galaxy."

"Shut up and tell me where they are now. Over."

"I'm just saying is all. Over."

Wander was cooking up a nice shish kebab over a campfire when Sylvia came running through with a newspaper in hand. "Wander! Have you seen the newspapers!? Dominator's back! And worse then before!"

"She's back! That's great, maybe she'll come around and I can offer her one of our sandwiches. Do you think she's a mustard person or mayo?" Wander asked.

"I've studied her, much like me she's a mustard person, I hate mayo." A voice said behind Sylvia causing her to jump seeing Cell behind her. "Whoa! Grop!"

"No it's Cell." Cell responded nonchalantly.

"We need to get a bell for you." Juan said by his side.

"Then we'd always be busy." Alfreda said climbing down a tree.

"Howdy there, folks call me Wander, this here's my best pal Sylvia." Wander greeted the trio happily.

"S'up."

"Well I'm Cell, these are my best buddies Juan and Alfreda." Cell greeted showing the two to them.

"We're not friends I've been try to kill you for like 3 months." Juan told Cell in annoyance.

"Two months seventeen days." Alfreda corrected Juan pulling out a notepad saying the same thing.

"Well welcome to the galaxy I hope you accept my humble offering of a fruit basket." Wander said taking one out which Cell grabbed with his tail and devouring some grapes. "Oh I can tell I'm gonna have a grape time knowing you."

"I can tell I'm going to have a grape time trying to kill you." Juan mumbled to himself.

"Oh I don't care about the grapes" Cell said wiping his mouth. "I'm just hungry from studying Dominator."

"What do you mean studying her?" Wander asked.

"I'm going to try and ask her out, but much like a hunter before going after it's prey, it must know how it's prey thinks, it's behavior, what type of shampoo she uses, not necessarily the last one but anything can help."

"Well she has a pollen allergy that makes her sneeze like a kitten." Sylvia brought up.

"Stop encouraging him, that's why I'm distancing myself as far from this as possible." Juan whispered to her.

"Thank you, I just need to know what she's done to the place after I left."

"Psst." A voice said above them to which everyone looked up and saw Dominator's ship above them with a set of stairs rolled out.

Cell and Wander looked at each other with a smile before slowly making their way up despite the protests of Alfreda and Sylvia who Juan held both back before letting them go when the ship blasted off.

Juan let go of Sylvia who then looked ready to attack him. "Are you insane, you just put our friends in the hands of the worst villain in the galaxy!"

"Your friend will escape, mine will die."

"But Cell's your friend, you may not like him but you have to admit that a part of you cares for him."

"He trapped me in a language no one at home speaks. I can either be stuck here and everyone understands me, or at home where no one understands me."

"Okay I'm actually a little confused."

Juan sighed. "Sit down, I have a long story to tell you. It's about 27,793 words long and I only enjoy telling it in 3088 word intervals."

Wander and Cell walked through the corridors amazed at the new artwork of her and Glacier, and various other things as well as pcitures of her on planets she conquered. "Wow she has been busy since I gave her this place." Cell noted.

"It's weird how Glacier's called Captain, I've been so used to hanging out with hater I expected something like-" Wander didn't finish as something tackled them both before hogtying them together to which Cell looked up seeing a Volcanium Solider who had some kind of spiky armor and glowed a dark red with one foot on top of them looking heroic.

Commander Magma~!

" 'Be careful bro! There unpredictable geniuses.'' Like this was impossible." Magma said before chuckling, his voice sounding like Dominator's with her helmet on but not as deep and not reverberating.

"Howdy there, folks call me Wander this here's my new pal Cell." Wander said oblivious to the situation.

"Howdy to you as well, I am Commander Magma, your captor and the last name either of you will learn." Magma then took out a phone and dialed a number before putting it to his ear. "Hey bro it's Magma, can you patch me through to Lord Dominator?"

Dominator's phone rang to which she grabbed it breathing heavily and sweating. "Dominator's Greater bedroom, the bad girl herself speaking."

"Good to hear your voice ma'm, I called to happily let you know, I got Cell and Wander." Magma said gloating the last part in a sing song. Dominator's eyes sparked with intrigue as a little smile appeared on her face. "With you right now?"

"Yep. looking at them right now- Wander got out somehow. I have Cell though, leave me and my guard to get the orange one."

"Not so concerned for Wander anymore, I will be having fun with Cell though."

"Good, I'll look for the Orange idiot, The green one will be by the murals of the planets conquered last week." Magma then hung up the phone before staying silent then screaming in annoyance of Wander's disappearance. "Solider Guard! Front and Center!" 4 Volcanium Soldiers who glowed a dark red like Magma teleported right in front of him saluting. "Wander has escaped my sight, you are to search your assigned positions and search every 1/16 of an inch until you find him and present his alive to me on a silver platter."

"Yes Sir!" The Guards replied before marching off in separate directions ready to search for Wander. Magma teleported out to do his duties, not seeing Wander peek out and look at Cell who began to wake from getting knocked out by Magma. "Okay seriously how do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"You what I don't really care anymore."

"Well I have a question for you, How do you get this to look exactly like this?"

"I didn't build it from scratch,I was gonna buy one at on Ebay or Amazon but I found this at a flea market. I was going to get a Star Destroyer or an Executor then I saw it."

Cell phased out of the ground in front of the saleman before looking back at the ship. "I'll take this one, but I won't pay a cent over 60 Bits."

"Sir this ship is extremely rare to find it's 1000 Credits." The Salesman told him.

"Ok 70 Bits."

"No."

"2000 Bits"

"That's twice what it's worth in a different currency!"

"...40 Bits."

"What?"

"H-he doesn't know how to haggle." Juan told him. "Just give him the keys to the ship and see if he likes it." The Salesman obliged giving them to Cell who flew inside then flew the ship off. As they waited Alfreda looked to Juan. "How do you think the dinosaurs died?"

"Because we're friends with an idiot."

"Caboose? Well he did accidentally think that all the dinosaurs were Church because he thinks time is circles."

"He kinda has a point because why else are clocks round?" Alfreda asked before the ship sped back and Cell walked by the Saleman tossing the keys to him. "I don't want it." Alfreda and Juan caught up with Cell.

"What happened?" Juan asked.

"Give me something to talk about to occupy our time for 30 minutes and you'll find out."

Cell walked back to the spaceship lot, Juan looking irritated from the conversation.

"There would be evidence that they would try to come back for revenge you idiot!" Juan yelled

"They don't because they know better! And that's just ridiculous, dinosaurs going extinct. They were just forced underground during the last human-dinosaur wars and humans just occasionally find their bones sometimes." Cell explained.

"You have one more stupid sentence before I beat you to death with my Blaze of Glory until all I'm holding is the back end."

"Looks like our salesman is having trouble." Cell said pointing to the salesman who looked unnerved as every sip he had was sold except for the ship Cell wanted. "Trouble in salesmanship hombre?"

"There's something wrong with the ship and no one wants it. I still can't figure it out."

"I'll take it. Not one cent over 40 Bits."

"Fine I just don't care anymore." Cell gave him 40 bits and Alfreda and Juan followed Cell inside the ship beginning to take off while the Salesman still contemplated his trouble. "It doesn't make any sense, everyone else liked it but turned it down, nobody complained about any smell or stains until..." The Saleman's eyes widened as he looked up at the ship in rage. "You swindler!"

"NO GIVESIES BACKSIES!" Cell yelled before flying off.

"Me crapping myself was on purpose at the time but I managed to find a way to turn it to my advantage and you're gone aren't you?" Cell turned to see Wander was gone and he was behind a crowd of Volcanium Soldiers. He inch wormed his way through seeing Pinkie Pie doing tricks and dancing.

Cell attempted to say something but something pulled him back and threw him to the wall. When Cell got his bearing he found it was Alfreda that threw him to the wall. "You're lucky I'm immortal. What do you see in her to go to these limits?"

"These aren't the limits. And it's her beautiful smile."

"When she's causing misery."

"Her smooth green skin."

"I'm not going to ask why you know it's smooth but why does it matter that it's green?"

"Of course you wouldn't care about color because you can't see it."

"That doesn't- wait what?"

"You're a Wirewolf. Wirewolves are dogs, dogs are can't see color, so they can't see her beautiful skin color or those of the Great American flag ya dirty Commie."

"1. I can see colors. 2. You're from Japan you jackass you just speak english. Faust I feel like I hang out with a child."

"Oh well if I'm a child you wanna know what that makes Dominator when she likes me? A pedophile. And I'll be damned if you crush my dreams of being with her while I'm lectured by a pervert." Cell then easily broke out of his ropes and walked away. Alfreda was silent before moving a Volcanium Solider's arm pointing his gun to his head. "Can you pull the trigger? I just need to do this once."

Cell sneaked through the halls passing by patrols like a ninja, taking note of their patterns for next time he was in the ship. Cell decided that it was time to take on a form that was more in tune with his element thanks to some of Oolong's DNA Yemma was kind enough to give him. His body turned gray as he shrunk down to the size of a dog glowing orange much like the soldiers with some points on his body and a weird pincer mouth.

"I feel violated." Cell said to himself being in a form not of his own design. Cell trotted through the hallways with ease as the Volcanium Soldiers paid no mind to him as Cell rounded a corner deciding to go ghost mode and phase through the wall. He found himself at the front of the bathroom door in Dominator's room, hearing the shower running he turned around seeing Dominator take off the rest of her clothes to which Cell's mandibles widened along with his eyes and crawled backwards not blinking ending up backing into an air vent accidentally bumping into Wander. "Whoa sorry to bump into you mister robot dog."

"It's more perfect then I am." Cell said awestruck and oblivious to the wandering weirdo.

"Cell? How did you do that? Could you show me how?"

"I must have her. Perfect Emerald to Pink Terror are the cameras in the bathroom and bedroom streaming? Over."

"Yep. They have been for 3 days, why? Something wrong happen? Over"

"Oh far from it, I'm gonna be busy for a few hours after I get out of the ship so just giving you a heads up to turn off your radio. Over." Cell turned back into his original form grabbing Wander. "Let's go see how the guys are doing without us."

"And Sylvia."

"Oh yeah her too I guess." With that Cell crawled through the vents managing to find one that led to outside and left. Not long after they left some Volcanium Soldiers crawled through finding the open vent. "Rock Paper Scissors loser tells Magma we lost them both?"

The other solider simply looked at him before throwing his hand down beginning to play against him.

Wander and Cell came down onto the planet they were on before getting on Dominator's ship and looked on as Sylvia and Juan wrestled around on the ground as Alfreda watched on. "Okay why?" Cell simply asked.

"Oh Juan was sleeping after telling her about our adventure so far and Sylvia was trying to grab his Butterfinger."

"They don't even know each other that well why would she-"

"No idiot the candy bar. Juan told her 'Nobody's laying a finger on my Butterfinger.' Sylvia said that his little chant doesn't scare her. Juan asked her what she's gonna do about it and she said she was gonna introduce her friends, 'Lady Haymaker and the Duchess of Whaling.' Juan replied saying they might be good friends with his friends, 'The Right Hook King and his brother Lieutenant Fists Mcgee' Then she got the first punch in it turned into a game of Rock em Sock em Robots but neither of them were willing to budge. It's actually fascinating to watch."

"We're naming our fists now? Ok I'm calling my right one Jerky and my left one Birdy." Cell replied.

"I'll feel the urge to ask why but the context of that sentence answers the question. Then I'm calling my right one Twilight and my left one Saddle Rager." Alfreda replied.

"Why not the other way around?"

"Because the Twilight I'm talking about is the Goddess of Destruction we met that became my girlfriend."

"Still weird."

"You're both idiots." Juan yelled out as he put Sylvia in a chokehold. "Say Uncle!" Juan yelled as Sylvia growled attempting to throw him off only for him to simply ride her still chocking her, her face beginning to turn a beet red. "Say it! Say Uncle!" Sylvia got him off throwing him off in a huff trying to walk away. "Okay Wander I think we should-" Sylvia couldn't finish as she was sent slamming to the ground. She looked back and saw Juan holding her tail with a smile on his face.

"Don't finish what you can't start!" Juan yelled pulling her back to which she brought her tail up and began slamming him into the ground trying to get him off and managing so sending Juan into a tree. Sylvia got out some Orble Juice and created a bubble running towards Wander grabbing him as Juan got up. "Good fight, maybe next time we have some dinner!" He yelled to her.

"You can't handle this!" Sylvia yelled back.

"Feisty. I like her." Juan said with a smile.

"See this universe isn't that bad Juan, a girlfriend for you, and a goddess for me." Cell replied to which Juan stabbed him in the jugular causing Cell to fall to the ground in pain as it healed.

"She's not my girlfriend, I simply like her because she's shares my perception of you."

"A guy who's the perfect friend for anyone?"

"An idiot that infuriates my existence."

"That's seem a bit harsh Juan." Alfreda replied.

"Don't tell me you haven't thought about killing him."

"Oh no I have even the perfect way. I'd spike the next drink he'd have with whale tranquilizer and wait a few hours before it flushes out of his system, so even if a piece of him that can't regenerate there'll be no trace, then throw his unconscious body-"

"Into a supervolcano." Juan replied with a smile. "Exactly! The perfect crime, she agreed that it was a bit crazy but it could work."

"Okay are you guys done? I need some time alone." Cell asked.

"Gonna contemplate my plan to kill you?"

"1. I'm gonna find my own drinks from now on, 2. I saw Dominator naked so I'm in need to relive some stress."

"How long do you need?" Alfreda asked.

"Long enough." Cell replied.

"And we're outta here!" Alfreda yelled flying off with Juan in tow.

5 Volcanium Soldiers lead by Magma touched down on the planet, some white piles everywhere as they investigated. "Weird, it's an adequate climate yet it looks like there are piles of unmelted snow around here." Magma observed.

A Volcanium Solider walked to a pile scanning it. "Uh Sir, these aren't piles of snow. In face some of this has Cell's DNA in it."

A Solider tripped on a rock and ended up sticking his left arm into a pile. "God dammit! Oh geez oh gross I got my arm in one of his loads, organics are disgusting, this is all squishy and sticky. I guess that's the end of this arm." The Volcanium solider then cut off his left arm with his blade by his side.

"All right Lord Dominator's in a planet destroying mood and wants to keep as many people under her reign as possible so she wants it to be lifeless, I'm pretty sure this place definitely qualifies. Leave a beacon for the ship to find." Magma ordered

"Do we tell her about the loads?" A solider asked to which Magma shot him encasing him in a block of Volcanium X.

"There's no cops in this galaxy, we take this to our graves In the first step of our Volcanium Vengeance." Magma warned them to which the soldiers saluted agreeing.

Alfreda shivered and he cooked his shish kabob over he fresh fire. "What's wrong?" Pinkie Pie asked munching on a cupcake.

"I have this sort of sixth sense like your Pinkie Sense, only it detects when someone does something like medium awareness or something sounding pretty meta." Alfreda replied.

Pinkie Pie got excited after hearing it. "Oh is there a sort of way you can figure out what it is exactly?"

"Just a shiver with everything, all though I can kinda feel what something someone specifically does. I think this one was a title drop."

Cell emerged from some bushes cleaning himself from a towel. "I know, I always feel like that when we go into a new world."

"Yeah, I always feel that way when I see someone new, and when I see a girl. It goes away because they usually mean girls." Caboose replied.

"That's because you two are idiots. Well a Team Killing Fucktard and a horny idiot." Juan said sharpening his machete.

"Seriously Juan how many weapons do you have on you?" Alfreda asked.

"You don't want to know how many answers that question has."

Cell's heard a ringing going off in and pulled out a cell phone. "What up? Perfect Android Cell speaking."

"How do you have pockets to hold that phone in?" Juan asked.

"Really, she said my name!? Of course, we'll be right there!" Cell hung up smiling grabbing Pinkie and Juan. "Can't talk picking someone up, have fun with Caboose, buy gold bye~!" Cell yelled flying off.

Alfreda was confused blinking before looking at Caboose. "So with all the idiots gone wanna talk about something?"

"Do you ever wonder why we're here?"

"I wonder why I can never die I think that counts for something."