Chapters A long time ago Princess Celestia decided to plant me in the Elements of Harmony, sure that C.H.A.O.S would plant a mole in the Elements. Everybody thinks that Agent Sweetie Drops is the only spy. But they're wrong. Ever since the group started I've been Celestia's eyes and ears. Because the Elements need to grow stronger, never die, exceed the expectations in order to save Equestria time and time again.
I am part of a secret organization known for protecting Equestria and its inhabitants from all sorts of things, terrorism, homicide, as well as other catastrophic events. An organization founded by Celestia herself, hidden in the shadows to protect the things ponies love, as well as the ponies other ponies love. I am nothing but a rumor along with my organization, an old mares tale, a whisper in a crowd full of yelling ponies.
I. Am. Agent. Dash. And to watch over the Elements is my assignment.
Rainbow Dash POV...
As she turned around, she saw it was Celestia and broke into an incredibly low bow.
"However, I am afraid I have much more to ask of you. It would ask a lot of you. Pinkie is too loud. Twilight is too physically inadept, Rarity is too much of a showy pony, Applejack is too honest. And Fluttershy is much too meek."
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow, intrigued by what the princess was saying.
"Rainbow Dash, would you like to serve your land further than being in the Elements?"
"What do you mean?", Rainbow asked raising her eyebrow again.
"I mean putting your life on the line for Equestria. Risking it all to defend this land, and protecting the ponies you love."
Rainbow immediately thought of Fluttershy when she heard the last sentence.
"Of course it would take training. Lots of work would have to be put into protecting the Elements of Harmony. And you would have to swallow your pride along the way in order to do the job I'm offering you. Rainbow Dash, have you heard of H.A.R.M.O.N.Y?"
"What? Yes I know what harmony is!"
"No, the organization."
Rainbow raised both eyebrows.
Celestia, the goddess of the sun, groaned. Loudly, and then she started to pace. "I knew I never should have done this," she mumbled, "now you are probably scared, are you not?"
Rainbow shook her head. And then she sighed. "Princess, please tell me what's going on! Tell me what Harmony is!"
Celestia stopped pacing. "Fine," she said sternly, "but you don't know what you're getting yourself into if I tell you."
"I know," Rainbow answered, her curiosity guiding her head and heart.
"H.A.R.M.O.N.Y is an organization. An organization I created to help guide this world away from evil and destruction. It's the organization that battles chaos."
"C.H.A.O.S?", Rainbow asked, clearly knowledgeable on the subject.
"Yes, do you know about it?", Celestia asked, her interest now piqued, wanting to see how much the cyan pegasus knew about the organization."
"Know about it?! Of course I know about it!", Rainbow said exploding. "They're only the most dangerous terrorist organization to all pony kind! They are honestly something that needs to be stopped!"
Celestia sighed, at least she knew which side Rainbow was on.
"H.A.R.M.O.N.Y is the organization that battles C.H.A.O.S.", Celestia calmly remarked, and watched as Rainbow's face erupted into a smile. "But like I was saying before," Celestia continued, "I believe that you could serve your land further than being in the Elements. Rainbow Dash, H.A.R.M.O.N.Y is an organization for spies."
Dash squealed. "Are you asking me to be one of your spies!"
"Yes," Celestia said, and instantly berated herself for not going up to Rainbow Dash and telling her right off the bat.
"Wait, hold on, do I have to spy on my friends?," Dash said, losing some of her enthusiasm.
"Yes," Celestia said, disappointedly, getting ready for Dash to say no. "There could be a potential agent of Chaos in the Elements of Harmony, and we're looking for somone to keep an eye on things."
"I know, because Twilight's just sort of a borderline control freak who doesn't have the greatest stamina, and AJ is to honest to keep the secret, and Pinkie is too emotionally unstable, I get it.", Rainbow said.
"I know this is asking a lot of you, Rainbow Dash, but by the loyalty in your heart I figured you would be the perfect pegasus for the job.", Celestia said. "And I see no other option."
"Wait," Dash reiterated, "you want me to spy on my friends to possibly save Equestria, and join an organization filled with ponies to stop a crazy terrorist organization that could easily rip my mane off." Dash rubbed her mane. "I kind of like my mane. But I'm nothing if not loyal, so I'm going to stay loyal to harmony, princess."
Celestia's protection plan was finally falling into place. Keeping her tone, and expression, and body language neutral and serious, she managed out a shaky, "do you promise to serve your country?"
"Yes," Rainbow Dash said, taking Celestia's hoof as they shook on it.
I tiphooved up Rarity's fancy stairs, silently hoping, no, praying that she wouldn't be guilty of what Celestia thought she was guilty of. I made my way to her bedroom, trotting ever so slowly, so as not to disturb a single floorboard, and succeeded in not making a peep thanks to my immense training over the seasons at the H.A.R.M.O.N.Y training sites. That was another thing that they had no idea about. Go figure.
'Why do I have to do this?', I asked myself,' I mean, it's not like she's guilty of anything, she's Rarity for Pony's sake!'
Years of training allowed me to open and close the drawers while scanning them soundlessly, while also letting my mind wander. And wander my mind did, until I saw a certain contract, with the word C.H.A.O.S enscribed clearly at the top. I began to reach for it and then took my gloves off out of habit,
'Wait a minute, gloves stay on, Rainbow Dash.', I told to myself as I put my gloves back on and reached for the document.
'Oh horse apples.', I thought. 'We had found the mole.'
As soon as I read that page, I knew, it had been Rarity, Rarity was the mole.
'Oh buck!', I thought, 'this is gonna break Spike's heart.'
Getting out my camera, I took a few pictures. Hooves shaking, I panned through her drawers. Some more docs with assignments. I saw a doc that said, "The Sonic Rainboom Disturbance." Apparently Rarity was supposed to have found out whether I was a valuable asset to their team. It said that I would be. I gulped. But then I raised an offended eyebrow.
'What the buck did they think they were gonna do? Catch me?'
It seemed my alter egos were at war again. The spy part of me, Agent Dash, the part I had allowed to take control during the changeling invasion, was wanting to get out, to face Rarity head on, make a plan, get some justice, but Rainvow Dash, the brash weather pony side of me's hooves were shaking. Great.
'No time to think about this now,' the sensible experienced part of me said, 'get out of there after a bit more info, you'll have what you need.' But the brash egotistical part of me said, 'just take it all with you, as if Rarity would ever suspect that it's you!'
Lucky for me, contrary to how I acted around my friends, the calm, sensible, smart part of me was there to guide me, and after a few more docs, pictures, and after uncovering everything that was there, I left without leaving a single trace.
Because I'm Agent Dash, and I'm a legend. I am was the second I shook hooves with Celestia, I signed myself up for some serious flank kicking, and a reputation in H.A.R.M.O.N.Y to boot. Unfortunately for me, Agent Dash's ego couldn't be stroked by anyone but my fellow agents, and they were all on missions as expected, because c'mon they're secret agents! So my ego was rarely stroked. Which was why I was so snotty about my flying abilities. I mean, come on, I've saved Equestria like a bajillion times! Secretly or not! But no matter what, ego or not, I had to get this information to Celestia, and we needed a plan. A plan which could not be conducted by anyone other than us and the agency...
I was on my way to Celestia's castle under the cover of the shadows of clouds, when all of a sudden a message appeared on a cloud.
'Not this again,' I thought.
The message was just another mission. Nothing special, until I read the description.
"Agent Dash, you had been sent this message to prevent, delay, or altogether terminate this situation. The Weather Factory has been occupied by a pegasus who's name is unknown. All other Pegasi have evacuated. She is in the cloud room, destroying millions of dollars of bits worth of cumulus and other types. Stop her and neutralize her of you have to, but we have word that she is an agent of C.H.A.O.S. And we want her brung back to us A.S.A.P. We know you will not fail. Good luck."
This looked like a big message, and the plan was going to have to wait. Obviously. So I flew as fast as I could to the Weather Factory, making my way to the cloud room as stealthily as possible. The pony was gloating when I heard them, laughing, and cursing my name. Wait hold on, this pony must know me. Raspy voice, check. Competitive edge, check. I peeked around the corner. Mint coat, golden mane, and lightning cutie mark. Check, check, and check. She kept mumbling like a deranged Minotaur.
"You know only crazy ponies talk to themselves, right?", I said smirking. "Call me a hypocrite."
Lightning Dust turned around, and once she saw who it was, she got a bit mad.
"Oh, it's you", she said.
"So I see you work for C.H.A.O.S now," I mentioned casually.
"Yeah," she said, "what's it to ya Rainbow Crash?", she added.
"That nickname was ages ago? How did you ever hear of it?", I asked intently.
"Does it matter?", Lightning taunted. "You are and always will be Rainbow Crash."
"My name is Agent Dash.", I said calmly. "Rainbow Dash is my old name. Here in the biz, the name is Agent Dash. I take it your name is Agent Dust?"
"Hehe. We're not that stereotypical in C.H.A.O.S.", Lightning Dust laughed darkly. "My name is Lightning Dust, and that's how it always will be."
"Well you could change it, Agent Dust does give a bit more of a climactic feel. I mean, Tartarus, if your name is Agent Dust, you must be as powerful as well, dust. How intimidating.", Rainbow teased.
Lightning Dust looked as if Rainbow was getting on her nerves. Two could play at that game, she decided.
"Are you really fighting for your friends, are you really staying loyal to them?", Lightning asked.
"Yes.", Rainbow answered.
"You want Equestria, yet you can't bring yourself to hit me?", Lightning taunted.
"Oh I just don't wanna hurt you.", Rainbow said, smirking.
"What is wrong with you? You know you want to join with C.H.A.O.S. What's stopping you? Don't try to deny it. We'll get you in the end. And you know it. Face it Rainbow, lately H.A.R.M.O.N.Y has been having some bad days. Don't you wanna be on the winning side?", Lightning asked.
" I made a promise a long time ago to stay loyal, and I won't break it. I refuse to leave my friends and organization to entertain your petty idea of a thief overridden, killer infested world!", Rainbow yelled.
"Oh really? Then what's stopping you from doing something about it? Huh, Rainbow Crash? You afraid C.H.A.O.S will kick H.A.R.M.O.N.Y's sorry flank?", Lightning Dust asked cockily, smirking.
"Nope, not one bit.", Rainbow said.
Lightning's smirk disappeared as she saw she wasn't getting a reaction out of Rainbow.
"And nothing's stopping me," Rainbow said, flying toward Lightning Dust, until they were muzzle to muzzle. "See", Rainbow said. And then she turned around and bucked Lightning in the face.
Lightning stumbled back, biting her tongue, to keep from screaming.
"You want C.H.A.O.S to win? Nuh uh. That's not how this game works blondie. You gotta fight for what you believe in, and right now, it's fair to say that harmony is winning.", Rainbow said, smirking.
Lightning charged at Rainbow, but Rainbow dodged at the last second so Lightning crashed into a storm cloud. Frazzled, and electrocuted, Lightning charged Rainbow again. Rainbow dodged again. Lightning got electrocuted again. Lightning was getting fed up. Finally, when Lightning tried charging Rainbow for the last time, Rainbow flew up and wrapped her forelegs around Lightning's neck. She kept squeezing.
"Chaos is not the way.", Rainbow tried to tell Lightning.
Lightning choked out a, "chaos is the only way.", and Rainbow Dash squeezed her legs around Lightning's neck until she lost consciousness.
Then Agent Dash picked up the enemy agent in her arms, and flew her back to the organization.
The interrogation of the minor setback
Rainbow Dash flew back to headquarters as fast as she could holding an enemy agent in her hooves. When she got there, though, everyone was gathered around a table, talking in low voices.
"Ah, Agent Dash, you're back," Cloud Kicker stated dully.
"Were you successful?", the head of the organization, Spitfire asked.
"What does it look like?", I asked flatly, dumping Lightning at their feet.
"Aw, Dash, no need to have that attitude!", Surprise, the agency's best incognito agent shouted, scaring the flying pony crap out of me.
"Another one of my old friends joined C.H.A.O.S," I said tensely, "just imagine what would happen if they struck a deal that Gilda couldn't refuse!"
The agency's ponies collectively groaned and let out choruses of words Rarity would hate to say around fillies. Then again, the Rarity that worked for C.H.A.O.S would have no problem saying those words around fillies. I gritted my teeth. Some ponies...
A resident agent picked Lightning up off the floor and asked Ms. Harshwhinny where she wants her placed.
"The interrogation room," Spitfire responded.
I squeezed my eyes shut and quit thinking about Rarity. If I kept thinking about this, I'd become impulsive and end up jeopardizing everything. Before I could change my mind, I threw the files I had collected from Rarity's house/ boutique.
"What is this?", Spitfire asked suspiciously.
"It's proof that Rarity isn't who we think she is...", I said, trailing off, and staring at the ground. You couldn't trust anypony.
"But this is just a shot in the dark, a hilariously outrageous theory!", the agency's office bitch Roseluck said, chuckling nervously.
"Well it's not, okay? It's real! And we need a plan!", I said, making hard, steely eye contact with everypony in the room, forcing the gravity of the situation on them all. A few looked uncomfortable. Most looked ready for action.
"Listen, Dash, all I want you to do is get some info out of Lightning Dust.", Spitfire whispered ferociously. "You're the best we have, so get in that room, and get some answers out of that little prick."
"Hey, she used to be my friend, ya know," I said flexing my hindquarters in warning.
"But she's not your friend anymore Rainbow Dash," Spitfire whispered. "She's the enemy." And then Spitfire walked away.
She was right. Lightning Dust was the enemy. And it was time to take out the trash.
When I got to the room, Lightning was slumped over in the chair, and appeared to not be completely over the effects of the drugs we had given her. I sat still until she came to. She seemed perfectly content despite the atmosphere. Then she noticed me. She jumped a little.
"Funny how only when you noticed me did you jump, despite the atmosphere.", I observed. "Are you used to this at your agency? This little bit of light and tons of darkness."
"Cut the crap," she said. She obviously wasn't going to be tricked into talking about her agency and fellow operatives. She needed a little push. So I pushed the folder on Rarity toward her.
"This is another enemy agent that works for C.H.A.O.S. Describe her. Her background, her looks, i want to know everything."
She managed out some bull about how she couldn't work with me with cuffs on her hooves. So I took them off. She then proceeded to rip all the papers in Rarity's case file, with an agonizing wait time, and a smirk settled into her already obnoxious face.
"We have copies, don't worry 'bout messing anything up.", I said, smirking.
"Shit," she said, and groaned.
"You kiss your momma with that mouth?", I asked.
"Shut it Dash," she replied.
"You will not talk to me like that," I said, snapping, "not in my house." I reached out and twisted her hoof until I heard a little squeal.
She groaned while I held my grip on it even harder. I let go, and she sighed in relief.
"Next time I'll break it," I said, shooting her a dangerous smirk.
"You wouldn't dare!", she said, scaredly and accusingly.
"Would I?", I said scooting closer to make eye contact. "Would I really?", I said an inch from her muzzle just like before at the factory.
She backed down.
"Then again," I said, "you don't need your hooves to open and close your mouth.", I said, smirking again.
"I think I do.", she stated. "But then again, I am a crazy pony, talking to myself and all that.", she backtalked.
"Just start talking about Rarity or I will break your your hoof!", I yelled, pitting an immense amount of pressure on it.
She yelled and still resisted. So I decided to make it more interesting. I pressed on her hoof until a loud snap resounded in the empty room.
"Told ya I would do it," I said in between her surprised gasps. "Now start talking!", I yelled, laying my hoof on top of her other hoof, ready to break it if necessary.
"You actually broke my hoof!", she said, shrieking.
"Well if you listened more I wouldn't have to," I said cursing her under my breath. She however heard what I called her. And she was not happy.
"What the buck did you just call me you little-", her rant was cut off as I broke her other hoof.
"Owwwwww!", she screeched. Thank Celestia there were soundproof walls.
"Tell me about Rarity!", I yelled. "I want to know everything!", I said reiterating. "Every little thing she's done since she came to your agency and beyond!", I added forcefully.
"Fine, Celestia Dammit! Fine, you win! Rarity was lured in easily.", she started.
After I had returned Lightning Dust to the agency, and I had gotten all the information needed as well as shared it with my fellow operatives, I sat down in a meeting with Princess Celestia.
She started the conversation. She said something slightly offensive, too.
"Rainbow Dash, how much did you beat Lightning Dust up to get the information out of her? Because I know your temper.", she said.
I stated clearly truthful answers. I didn't say when all the injuries happened. The sad thing was, even with the truth serum, she was hard to break and it took more convincing. Sadly.
"Not as bad as last time," she said, sighing. "Well as long as you got the information.", she said.
"Yeah.", I said, "after the sprained wing the answers came easier."
"Did I really need to know that, Rainbow Dash?", Celestia asked, clearly discomforted.
"Nope," I said.
"So what did you find out?", Celestia asked.
"Well, Rarity joined them due to their flattery and her easily inflatable ego. She also hates the Elements, which was slightly hurtful, but whatever, as long as she doesn't have an assassination plot. Which, sadly they do, but back to Rarity. When she joined the Elements, she was perfectly pure, however through flattery and repetition they eventually got to her. She broke down, and agreed. That was when she turned against us.", I said, ready to continue until Celestia interrupted.
She said, "Wait, an assassination plot!"
"Yes!", I said. "We'll get to that later Princess! Right now our priority is Rarity is it not?"
"Yes, our main priority is Rarity.", Celestia confirmed.
"So let's get make a plan to find her out!", I said. "Once we do that won't we be able to interrogate her and gather more intel?", I asked.
"Yes.", Celestia said.
"Yes!", I said, "according to Lightning Dust, the assassination isn't for a month more, so we'll be good."
"What's the plan?", Celestia said, tapping at her chin with her hoof. "I have determined the plan!", Celestia said a second later.
"What is it?", I asked lukewarmly, not believing she could come up with a plan that fast. But when she told me I was impressed. 'The old fashioned heave ho', I thought. I liked it...
"See if she will spill the beans," they said.
Phase two meant gaining Rarity's trust. And that was exactly what Agent Dash was going to do despite the entire, bucking, lacy, frilly, mess she had just been stuffed into by the backstabbing unicorn. Rainbow grumbled inwardly. Time to get some intel.
"So Rares, I don't really know that much about you, would ya mind elaborating a little bit, just in general. I mean, I know my sonic rainboom totally caused your cutie mark. But what about anything else? Your childhood? Your life in general.", she tried, hoping to get a convo going, maybe even open up the floodgates.
"Oh Rainbow Dash, darling, please don't bother yourself with my tired old tales," Rarity said, trying to appear courteous. But Rainbow knew she was hiding behind a facade of politeness.
"Well then could ya explain the reasoning behind stuffing me into this, this, thing?", Rainbow said curiously, going for a more Rainbow Dash style approach. Less polite, if I may say.
Rarity glared. "Now that's the Rainbow Dash I know," she said, and sighed. "Well I suppose I could talk a bit."
Rainbow sighed with relief inwardly.
"Sweet," Rainbow said, eager to dig some info out of the traitorous unicorn.
"I was a lonely child, other than my sister Sweetie Belle. But she didn't come around for quite a while. Our parents weren't around that often. I didn't have much of an influence. I guess it's how I got where I am now.", Rarity said, pausing.
"Yeah? And where are you now?", Rainbow said, feigning confusion.
"Oh Rainbow Dash, I, am on the precipice of disaster. I am an enemy. I am a fraud!", Rarity squealed.
Rainbow Dash waited for the confession that never came.
"I am a failure in fashion. It's as if my spark is gone!", Rarity said pausing for dramatic effect. "And if I don't get past my designer's block all of my dreams will be crushed.
Rarity 's tears were soaking up Rainbow's now soggy dress that was sagging on her lithe, athletic form.
"There there.", Rainbow said, awkwardly patting the bawling unicorn's head. Rainbow had not expected that. Rarity vegan to snot all over Rainbow's dress. As if Rainbow cared. But Rarity would once she recovered from her little crying spree. Which was exactly why Rainbow had to get going. Along with a handful of other reasons that couldn't be revealed. So while Rarity was still snotting and bawling, Rainbow have her a pat on the head one last time, and exited the boutique after a very awkward good bye until that night...
"And she was lured in easily because..." I said encouraging Lightning to go on.
"Because of her secret hatred for all of you!", Lightning said.
"What?", I asked, eyeing Lightning like she was lying. Even though I knew Rarity was the type of pony perfectly capable of that level of hatred since earlier today, old, faithful habits die hard. "You better be telling the truth. Other wise you'll have three broken hooves!", I threatened.
"It's the truth, honest!", Lightning said looking at me in terror.
"Fine, keep talking.", I said.
"Anyway...", she said, eyeing my hooves distrustfully.
"All we had to do to get Rarity to join was convince her of some certain things.", Lightning said, smiling eerily.
"And what certain things!?", I asked.
She just smiled creepily back.
I took my backhooves, and wrapped them around her right foreleg until a loud pop sounded. She shriek bloody murder.
"Let's try this again!", I said viciously, "What. Certain. Things."
"One, she deserved to be more than just an element. Two, she was much too good to be friends with the likes of you ponies, and three, well it wasn't hard to convince her when the ponies who really adored and served her were on this side of the scale." Lightning smiled again, laughing cruelly. "Ridiculous. I would think H.A.R.M.O.N.Y above such prejudices."
"Well, H.A.R.M.O.N.Y has me so they don't have that bad of judgement.", I said, smirking.
"Do they? Do they really?", she asked obnoxiously. I slapped that smile off her backwards face.
"Well C.H.A.O.S picked you to stand to the likes of me! So what does that say about them?", I continued.
Her chair had toppled over from the force of the slap. But she had solved that problem by kicking the chair aside. She had misjudged the force of the table, though, and the steel reinforcements on the legs that binded the legs of the table to the ground were too much for her.
And the truth serum worked. An hour later we had everything we needed. The agency asked what I did, and I just mentioned some thing about the truth coming it as easy as taking a drug. They looked at me like I had three heads, but they would not notice the missing truth serum bottle for a while hopefully. You know what was most unsettling thought? The way that Lightning looked at me right as she was going into the serum daze and said, "They will know. They will find out. I will find a way to expose you to all of Equestria!" And that was what scared me most...
The plan Celestia had came up with made Rainbow barf to say the least, but it was doable, despite the bile that came up in Rainbow's throat every time she thought of it. The plan was the reason that she was standing on the enemy, formerly known as Rarity's doorstep. The plan was also the reason she was about to swallow her pride and ask Rarity out on a date. For her job. Her job that she was not liking too much right now. The things a pegasus will do for her country are unbelievable. But no matter. Rainbow was a very good actor. And she would be playing the part of somebody who really truly wanted to go out with Rarity. If that's even her name. Rainbow just wanted phase one over with. So Rainbow built up her courage and her false cheerfulness, and knocked on the backstabbing unicorn's door. A moment later, it opened.
"Why Rainbow, whatever can I help you with?", the prissy unicorn asked.
"Actually Rarity I'm here for something that can't be helped unless you agree to come with me tonight at Colt's cafe at 8:00.", I said confidently.
"Are you asking me out?", Rarity asked.
"Maybe," I said slyly, smirking. May as well have a little fun.
"Oh I don't know, I usually only go for stallions," she said batting her eyelashes.
Blech! Is what I thought. "I promise I'll make it worth it," I said instead.
"And you're sure you can do just as well as a stallion could?", she asked flirting even more.
I inwardly barfed, and just barely managed to hold back the tidal wave of bile. If I had to spend one more second with her... "Better," I said, cockily. "I could do 20 percent better than any stallion in Ponyville."
"Really?", she said.
"Yes," I said smiling like a pony who couldn't wait to go out. When really I was a pony who couldn't wait until after we went out. Then the real fun would begin...
"Oh, alright," she said giving in. "I'm charmed," she added before bidding me adeui. "But be here at three."
In order to keep in character, as soon as i thought she left, but really knew she was watching out her window, I did a loop in the air and shouted out an, "AWESOME!"
There, that should squash any suspicions...
