My Little Insert: Bronies are Equestrian (VERY Cancelled)

The next morning

MY POV

Rainbow Dash’s House

“Yo! Flare, get up!”

“Huh?” I shot out of bed. Rays from Celestia’s sun were shining through the windows of the living room, glowing with a warmth that felt like a blanket, tenderly surrounding the body. “Ah crap.” I could tell by the sun’s height that it had to be about noon. I turned to Rainbow Dash. “Sorry I didn’t get up earlier. I kinda have a habit of sleeping… a lot.”

“I think we’ll get along pretty well Flare.” She joked. We both had a little chuckle at that.

“So where’s Mocha?” I asked.

“She headed out to Sweet Apple Acres to go pick up Modpony and AJ. We were all going to show you guys around Ponyville.” She explained. “I was gonna head to Twi’s and pick up her and Mike, then grab Fluttershy. You think you can head over to Rarity’s and grab Rarity and Keynote?”

“Sure.” I said. Finding the boutique would not be a problem due to its sheer size. “Where are we meeting up?”

“We’re meeting up at Sugarcube Corner.”

“Alright. Once again, thanks Dash. I’ll see ya there.”

“Cool. See ya Flare!” Dash took off towards the library, leaving me to fly over to Rarity’s and pick up the two there. I stretched my wings and took off towards the boutique. It wasn’t as hot as it was yesterday, but it was warm outside. Small, puffy clouds dotted the sky here and there, providing a moment of shade when I passed under them. As I passed over the town, I saw the bustling market streets and the quiet neighborhood streets. The faint breeze from  flying calmly over the town was soothing. However, I did have to leave that to make my descent as I approached the boutique. My hooves touched the ground, and I approached the door and knocked. After a few moments, the door opened to reveal an incredibly tired Keynote.

“Sweet Celestia dude, what the hell is with you?” I asked.

“Rarity wanted me to help her out with stallionwear. Needless to say, the fitting went all night.” He explained. Well, it IS His fault for staying with Rarity. I shrugged and said, “C’mon man, the Mane 6 want to meet up with us at Sugarcube Corner.”

“Alright, let me grab Rarity, and we’ll be going.”

After a couple minutes, Matt emerged with Rarity and we headed on towards Sugarcube Corner. We trotted along the cracked cobblestone streets for about three minutes until we reached the gingerbread house-designed bakery. Pinkie Pie was standing outside waiting for us.

“Hey Pinkie!” I called.

Pinkie turned towards us and immediately smiled a really goofy grin. “Heya Flarey! Hey Key! Oh, and hi Rarity!” She bounced over to us and hugged us. “None of the others have shown up yet. We have some muffins inside for you guys!”

I was about to turn down her offer on the muffins until my stomach growled. I realized that I hadn’t eaten anything since the burger I’d eaten in the hotel before I was shot through parallel universes. (No, I did not throw that burger across the room) “Thanks Pinkie!” I said, practically bouncing inside. But not literally like Pinkie would. We walked inside and were immediately assaulted by delicious smells; chocolate cake, cupcakes, cinnamon rolls, donuts, and of course muffins. There was already a large table with a crapton of muffins in the middle. As we approached the table, a thought suddenly occurred to me.

How the hell are we supposed to pick stuff up with our hooves?

We sat down at the table and I nervously extended a hoof to the middle of the table to grab a muffin. This effort was slapped away by a white hoof.

“Darling, it’s proper manners to wait until everypony has made themselves comfortable at the table; you should know that.” Rarity scolded. I just kind of made an “okayface.jpg” face.

After about five more minutes of waiting, Amanda, Applejack, and Mocha all trotted inside and sat down by us. Applejack and Mocha made the same mistake that I did. Mocha did exactly what I did while Applejack just kinda scowled at Rarity. Shortly thereafter, Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Fluttershy and Mike all filed to the table, closely followed by a bouncing pink earth pony. While eating our muffins, I found out that there wasn't really anything to think about with the hooves; it just happened. But during the meal, there was one thing which concerned me more. I kept on catching my eyes floating towards Rainbow Dash. DAMMIT! Why can’t I take my eyes off of her? She was so beautiful. Her slender, cyan shape was perfectly complimented by that glossy, multicolored mane. But each and every time I tried admiring her, I had to remind myself that if I tried anything, I would be turned into high-end pet food. To try and take my mind off of her, I decided to ask the day’s first question.

“So, uh, what exactly will we be touring today?” I asked.

“Well,” Twilight began. “We were going to take you by each of our houses, then take you by some lo-“ Twilight’s plans were cut short by Pinkie Pie suddenly having full body spasms. From what it looked like, she was bouncing up and down at an incredibly fast rate.

“Pinkie?” Amanda asked. “What’s with the… jumping?”

“I…think I know what’s going on.” Twilight said. I had a pretty good idea of what was going on too. “Even though I accepted this a long time ago, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but… Pinkie… has this ability to-“

“Sense when certain events are going to happen based on certain body spasms or series of body spasms?” Mocha finished. Twilight nodded numbly.

“And it’s a REAL doozy!” Pinkie exclaimed. This statement was shortly followed by a low rumbling in the distance, which was progressively getting louder.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but all I know is-“ Matt never got to finish the sentence, because he was cut off by a loud roar which confused everypony except for me; I was frozen stone cold in fear, for I knew all too well what it was the moment it was said.

“SAAAAAAAAAXTOOOOOOON HAAAAAAAAAALEEEEEEE!”