Elusive Inspiration

The sun crept over the horizon, signalling the new day. I got out of bed, blinking to myself. I felt awful as usual, and had barely slept. I kept waking to find the mannequin somewhere else in my room, most of the time not faced towards me. I ignored it, and got up to head downstairs. I didn't brush my mane, leaving it slightly curly as normal. I found Sweetie Belle getting ready to go to Fluttershy's house, and hummed to myself as I ate breakfast. I told myself that it was a new day, and that it would be best to start it with a good attitude. Once Sweetie had left I waited a bit before looking around. The other mannequins had moved recently too… all of them seemed to face the kitchen.

I thought nothing of it and walked my way to the workroom. There I sat down and began to draw, whatever came to my mind at the time. I drew Sweetie Belle, the Gala dress that I had made for her too. I drew Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, then Thunderclap. Then Dusk and Butterscotch. As I drew my time away, my mind wandered back to my work. My client would be here later on, to pay for the dress and then take it home. I was secretly glad to be rid of it. It didn't have what I looked for in a clothes. It felt too samey, the next tired thing to come out of a designer boutique.

I turned my thoughts back onto the track of my younger sister and her friends, which I hoped encompassed Thunderclap soon enough. I knew that although they might be aquaintances, the pegasus most likely wouldn't be the kind of filly to stick around the three constantly. She seemed more like the kind to simply come and go, which was alright, I supposed. I sat and stared at my drawing of the pegasus. I heard a sound and glanced around the room, seeing that one of the mannequins had moved slightly to the left. Something clicked in my head. I looked from my drawing of Thunderclap, then back to the statuette. The proportions were… unmistakably different.

Staring back at the drawing, the filly was without a doubt different from a normal pony. That was what the mannequins were meant for; to emulate the normal size and general structure of a normal equine. The way her neck was, it wasn't typical of a filly her age, either. I took out a bunch of my model references from in my desk, which had photos of all the ponies I had ever made an outfit for. As I turned the pages, none of the ponies I had ever worked for matched her features, in my memory or in my drawing. Even those I'd made for fillies her age didn't match. Her neck had too much definition, the shoulders were very strangely sloped, having an odd rise and fall in the middle of her upper front legs. Her back legs likewise didn't match, which I had originally just thought were the result of a growth spurt, didn't seem to physically make sense on her body.

I pondered this for a moment. What would cause her to look like that? It was almost like she wasn't a pony at all. It made more sense for someone of her build to be a deer of some kind, or perhaps an antelope. Despite that thought, her face was that of a pony, and she bore the wings of a pegasus. I turned to the window again, waiting… she normally flew by on days like this. In the night the rain had stopped, but the clouds weren't set to be cleared until tomorrow, so it remained overcast. I saw her as she went by, just for a few seconds. It was enough to confirm my suspicions. She was in no way structured like a normal pony would be at her age. I had heard that certain earth ponies from outside of Equestria were built like she was. Taller and more leanly muscled than most. Almost like Solaris and Lune were. But she was also a pegasus… so one of her parents were most likely one of those earth ponies.

I nodded to myself, tapping my hoof on the desk. That was the best guess I could make without saying something ridiculous like she was some kind of strange nightmare creature. That was about as likely as me becoming royalty. Still, I got a chuckle out of thinking she was some sort of vampire. It just put all my previous actions in a very odd context. I moved on from the thought after a moment, hearing a knock at the front door of my boutique. I stood, walking to the front door. There stood the mare that had ordered her dress from me.

She was a unicorn mare by the name of Swift Click, although she had insisted on me just calling her Swift on the phone. She was about my own age, with light blue eyes and a warm smile. She was a secretary for one of the more regal residents of the castle, making her a rather important client. She had a golden coat and a mane that looked like it could be made of honey. She saw me and her smile settled on her face, her hoof extending to me. I took it in a light shake as she began to speak.

“I trust the dress is ready like you told me yesterday?” She said.

I felt a bit of hope that she would keep this brief, smiling back. “Of course, it's hanging in my workroom as we speak.”

She nodded and let herself in, passing me. I let out a sigh, having wanted to not have her in. Still, I went to go get the dress. I handled it with magic, only by the hanger as I held it out to her. She admired the work as she took it, smiling at my craftmanship. Her look of wonder felt hollow to me. She didn't know quite how it felt, knowing this one was just the same as all the others. Still, she reached in her saddlebag and set a large sack of bits out on the table. I took it and weighed her payment, confirming that it was indeed the correct amount of bits. With that she looked back to me.

“This is quite fine work, Elusive… thank you. Might I ask what inpired you to do so well on it?”

I bit my tongue to stop the sharp retort from spilling out. Nothing had inpired that dress. Her paying me had put me through the motions of creating it. Just as a foal makes an art project only for the grade they got in class, this creation of mine was just something I had made. There was no love in doing it, it was in no way inspired or beyond my normal level of work. It was just the same as every other creation to be made at my hooves. In my heart it may as well have come from a factory.

“I don't really know…” I replied.

“Well, whatever made you create this dress, try and keep it close to your heart. The world needs more artists like you.”

She turned and left as I stood there, looking at the floor. I didn't feel like an artist, or that dress had come from somewhere inside of me. Not a single thought or bit of emotional effort had gone into that creation. I had been an artist back then, when I felt so much passion for my work. Now it was just a motion I went through as the days went by. It felt hollow and empty, despite all the joy I had once felt making those outfits.

A knock roused me from my sleep, my head lifting from the desk. Sweetie Belle was at the door, looking across the room at me. Beside her stood her friends, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom. Both looked at me like I was a snake that might bite them. I had the distinct feeling that Sweetie had told them about my recent behavior. She spoke up, seeming a bit nervous.

“Hey, uh… Elusive, can they stay the night here? Butterscotch had to go to the market to get more food for Angel, and I kinda wanted to show them that cool magic trick I was working on in my room.”

I nodded, standing groggily. “Of course they can Sweetie Belle… did everything go alright with Thunderclap?”

The three looked at each other, then Apple Bloom spoke up. “Well you see, uh… we followed her. She was real mad when we told her that you had asked us to do it, but she let us tag along.”

I nodded understandingly. “Did Diamond Tiara give you any trouble?”

The farmhand shook her head. “Not once she saw us walking with her.”

“Okay… that's all I wanted to know. Thank you three.”

They headed off to Sweetie Belle's room, leaving me to sit down again and think. The more I thought about it, the more I felt bad for that filly. I knew what it was like, not having parents to confide in, and having nobody to rely on… it made me feel like I was letting her suffer the same things I had. As the element of generosity it felt like I was betraying my title to do nothing about it. I stood and walked upstairs, knocking on Sweetie Belle's door. She answered a moment later with her friends. I cleared my throat, wondering how to ask.

“Can you tell me a bit more about Thunderclap? I'm thinking about going to her house, maybe try and talk to her sister. That might be the best thing for me to do… instead of moping around here.”

The three took a moment, then nodded. Apple Bloom spoke first. “So uh, what do you want to know?”

“What is her Cutie Mark? And where does she live?”

Sweetie Belle spoke this time. “Well her Cutie Mark is a hoofmark with a hammer inside of it. I dunno what it means, she didn't talk to us at all when we walked. She lives on Saddlesack Street, in this little house with empty pots out front. I mean, they're filled with dirt but there's nothing planted in them.”

“Alright… thank you three.”

I closed the door, walking downstairs. I got my jacket and walked out, heading into town again. A few ponies milled about here and there, but the streets were mostly vacant on the damp, overcast day. I smiled to myself and walked in peace, nothing but the sound of my hooves accompanying me. I reached a rather bland, unpainted house a few minutes later. It was as Sweetie had said, with planters and pots with no plants in them littering the front of the house. I walked up and knocked on the door, drying my hooves on the mat. I waited… and after many long moments nobody answered. I knocked again, this time to have Thunderclap answer halfway through, as if she had been waiting for me to give up and leave.

“What do you want? Wasn't it enough to have your little sister and her friends walking me home?” She said.

“Is your big sister here?” I asked, sidestepping the question.

“No, she's at her colt-friend's house. What do you want?” The irritable filly grated.

“To check on you… and ask if you need a place to stay that isn't here. I know what it's like to have nobody to turn to, so I wanted to make sure that you know I'm always there if you need me.”

“You're asking me to come live with you? Creep…” She said, although she clearly wasn't even remotely threatened by me.

“More with my sister than me. I work all day… or at least I try to. I've been having trouble lately, keeping motivated. That's another part of why I came here… I know what it's like when your family doesn't care to be around you, and I really know what it feels like when you think there's nobody ask for help.”

Her expression shifted from irritable to understanding in a second, like she had thought that just the other day. A moment later she snapped out of it, shaking her head. I had hit the mark though, she knew that I was right in guessing how she felt.

“Thunderclap… how long has your sister been at her colt-friend's house?” I asked.

“Two weeks… since I started school.” She said, looking at her hooves.

“Alright… it's up to you if you want to at least stay the night or not. I just hate watching somepony go through what I did.”

For a few moments she stood there… then motioned for me to come in. I made sure my hooves were dry on the mat before I entered her house. She shut the door, turning on the light to the entrance hallway. A staircase led upstairs on the left of me, and to my right was the living room. At the end of the hall was a dark kitchen. Most of the curtains were tightly drawn. It almost looked like night in there. She walked past me, towards the kitchen. I went to the living room, noticing her Cutie Mark on the way there. It was as Sweetie had said, a hoofmark with warhammer inside of it. It made me curious as to what she was talented with… although I assumed that it was some form of physical gift.

She returned with a pitcher of tea and a glass for me and her. I poured my own, while she didn't seem to be thirsty at the moment.Once we were settled she sat with the light dimmed above us, watching me sip the tea. I was trying to be polite, but also let her move along however she wanted to. I had some inclination as to why she had brought me inside. The leather couch was comfortable, and the walls were painted a nice, creamy light brown that matched her coat. Almost like coffee with milk added, in a way. After a few minutes she cleared her throat.

“Anyways, I wanted to say something. Just because I let you in doesn't mean I agree with what you asked. But I get where you're coming from… it sucks, being here alone all the time. It was the same thing back in Canterlot. My parents worked all the time. They were almost too tired to come see me off at the train station when I came here, since it was later at night. My sister… doesn't think I need her at all. She just comes here once a week to give me groceries and sometimes money for something I might want.”

“So you lived here on your own for two weeks? What if something had happened? Like a fire, or a burglary?” I asked, surprised that she had managed all on her own without going to someone. Then again, she seemed a bit older than most of the other students. Certainly older than Diamond Tiara or Apple Bloom.

“I'd be fine.” She said, looking away.

I saw the uncertainty in that statement and didn't pry, not wanting to deepen any anxiety she might have about being alone. After that I simply nodded and let the conversation settle… I sipped more tea, and things seemed to return to a calm tone after a while of sitting in the comfortable silence. After that, I decided to take her mind off of her family by switching topics.

“So Thunderclap, that Cutie Mark is rather unique. Do you know what it means?” I smiled, tapping my hoof on my glass.

“Uh, yeah… I got it when me and my Dad were messing around with one of those carnival machines that test how strong you are. He gave it a good kick, but when I got up to try and buck it, I ended up breaking the machine. He thought it was just badly made, so we apologized to the carnival manager and he paid for it. So we did the hammer slamming one after that, and I cracked the bell at the top of the tower. Then, there it was, the Cutie Mark. My legs are just really strong. I once broke a sidewalk, but it hurt my leg bad enough that we had to go to the hospital, so I do my best not to do that again.”

The fact that she commanded such a unique gift of such explosive force was interesting to me. It put her actions with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon into a different light. Instead of being two bullies that collectively out-matched her, she most likely had put in a considerable amount of effort to not hurt one of them, rather badly. Which for a filly her age was… both very mature, but also very concerning. At that age it took a certain amount of mental conditioning to just sit there and let something like that happen to you, if you knew you could do something. It was a lack of self-esteem… that was what made me feel acutely bad about what had happened. She had acted out of one part wisdom, and two parts lack of love for herself. I let the conversation settle again as I thought about that… maybe it wasn't her first time being bullied like this? Canterlot was renowned for its unforgiving public schools… so that might explain her instinct to simply let Diamond Tiara have her cruel form of fun.

After a while she looked to me and asked. “What made you come to Ponyville? Why not Canterlot or maybe some other big city?”

I sighed, smiling to myself. “Well you see, I found this particular shop I live above to be very nice… in additon to being rather low priced at the time. But I spent a lot to make her into the marvel she is today. The most well decorated home and storefront in all of Ponyville, most say.”

“So you got it because it was cheap?”

I nodded, letting the perceptive filly have that. “Yes… it was what I could afford starting off on my own. But then, I had to take care of Sweetie Belle… so, my dreams of simply saving to move my shop to Canterlot had to be put on hold so I could let her attend school here, and have friends. I'll let her finish her school and then go out on her own before I go. Until then, I'm here.

She looked at her hooves, seeming more than a bit touched by that. “My sister would never do something like that for me… she didn't hesitate to move to her friend's house and leave me here.”

I wanted to defend her older sibling is some way, so that maybe if her older sister ever wanted to came back and try and rebuild their relationship, there might be a chance. I couldn't find the will to though. Instead I sipped my tea, wondering just what to say at that point. To change things over to idle chatter, and not let her simmer in the thought of her sister being a bad sibling, I diverted her attention.

“You know my younger sister Sweetie Belle, right?”

Thunderclap nodded. “Yeah, she sat near me at lunch on my first day of school here in Ponyville. But she's two grades below me.”

At that I tilted my head to the side. That meant she was a year from graduating primary school. It made her significantly older than Sweetie, by about two or three years. With that thought in mind, I returned to my tea… wondering about my question to her. Would she want to stay with me and Sweetie? I knew it was a bold thing to do but it was better than letting her suffer living alone at her age. Especially with all the problems that came with that, and having no real family to rely on unless it was for basic necessities. She seemed to take the words out of my mouth as she spoke up again.

“I think that spending a day or two with Sweetie or you shouldn't be too bad… thanks Elusive.” She said in a bit of a stiff way, as if she was unbending her pride to say that.

I beamed, happily setting down my glass. “Thank you, it means a lot to me. My friends and I try and do what we can to make things better.”

“Who are your friends?”

I was a bit conflicted… I didn't want to reveal that I was the Element of Generosity. Despite Applejack teasing me for waving my status over the heads of others sometimes, I did try to retain a sense of humility. I guessed it wouldn't hurt to just say my friend's names, though. I purposefully left out Dusk Shine… he would be a dead giveaway.

“Well the only friend I have that lives in town any more is Bubble Berry. Applejack and Rainbow Blitz live outside of Ponyville. Butterscotch is a long walk to the edge of the Everfree Forest.”

She nodded, thinking nothing of the list of names I had given her. She most likely didn't know our names from all of the things we've done around Equestria, as most of the reporting on our exploits had redacted our identities at the instruction of Solaris. Only Dusk Shine is really ever attributed to the Elements, due to being a public figure these days. He did deserve it… he held us together at the worst of times.

I stood, yawning. I had gotten used to sleeping at all hours of the day, leaving my sleep schedule as good as shattered. I would nap here, laze about there… it was making me think about Applejack again, how lazy I would seem in his eyes. I shrugged off that feeling and walked over to the wall, looking at a photo that hung there. It was of her family, and all of them seemed strangely happy. It made me wonder where things had gone wrong. Maybe something had happened between them all? I was taken from my thoughts by the sound of Thunderclap's voice.

“Anyways, uh… when should I come over? I don't want to just barge in…”

I shrugged my shoulders. “You're welcome any time, You'll be bunking in Sweetie Belle's room with her. There's a spare bed in my basement I can set up for you in there, so you wouldn't need to share with her or her friends.”

She got up, walking over to the thermostat and turning it off before walking to the stairs. She went up to her room, I would assume. I stood there, tapping my hoof on the hardwood floor. I admired the décor of this place… very nice for a house with such an unappealing outer shell. The filly came down with her school things and a bit more packed into her saddlebag about ten minutes later. Thunderclap had a note with her, setting it on the table in the living room. She went for the door, and I opened it for her with my magic as I followed her out. We walked is silence across town. It left me to think to myself, about this filly. She could hardly be called a filly at the age she was at. Nearly a mare. A teenager by all means. She would be old enough to choose her own path in life in just three years or so. It left me to wonder what I was really doing for her… but I pushed that thought away. I had done what I should have, taken her under my care after she had been pushed out by her family.

I had done my duty as the Element of Generosity, and given support for her when she had none. Dusk Shine would have wholeheartedly approved my actions. I had done everything right. Which left me to wonder… why did I feel a lingering sense of self-doubt?