Elusive Inspiration

The next morning I opened my eyes, looking around my room. A mannequin stood in the corner between my wardrobe and the wall, its face bowed into the crevice as if it was hiding itself from me. It was a guilty position, one that spoke of regret. I started to think about that, why it might be over there, or why it might have chosen to do that. Then, I realized the insanity in such a thought. Mannequins had no will, as they were not alive. They also didn't have emotions. I stood and walked to my door, putting on my morning robe and heading downstairs. I looked in Sweetie Belle's room to check on the fillies, finding the Crusaders sleeping in one bed, while Thunderclap slept in a different one across the circular room. All of them seemed peaceful, so I shut the door and walked down to the kitchen.

With a sigh I sat down, pouring myself a bowl of cereal on the counter before levitating the frosted oat flakes over. I ate in relative silence, grateful it was Sunday. I knew that I didn't have to go into my workroom today. It set me at ease, knowing I wouldn't have to sit and struggle with myself for eight hours. I could have also just fall asleep at my desk to escape the frustration. Either way it invited the same sense of uselessness. I took my mind off of it, focusing on eating my cereal. Better not to think about the problems of the future when the present was so much better. The birds were chirping, the sun was out…. I didn't need to dwell on the inevitable return of my meaningless work just yet.

Soon my cereal was finished, and I sat wondering what to do with my Sunday. I had thought about writing to Dusk Shine to tell him what I'd done. After thinking about it a bit... I didn't want to bother him with some of my senselessly mundane life. I thought about maybe going to Butterscotch's house, as I was sure he would appreciate company. Of course, I'd have to bring Sweetie Belle and the others with me. Perhaps that wasn't the best idea… if simply for the fact that Thunderclap would want to settle in here first, rather than go wandering to the edge of the forest and going into town with me. I trusted the four on their own, but I wanted to still be here. It set a bad example for me to invite Thunderclap in, only to leave again.

That left me with a few options. I could simply stay in again or I could go out and try to return in time to catch the four fillies waking. Considering it was five in the morning that didn't seem particularly challenging. I knew they would take full advantage of sleeping in on the weekend. With that in mind I went back upstairs and took off my robe, heading to my bathroom. A quick shower and a brushing of my mane later, I was presentable. I went back downstairs and walked across my shop, stopping in the center to find something… off.

The mannequins were all facing corners. Between anything they could find, all of them had their faces buried into a crevice of some sort. Collectively they refused to face me. What had I done to warrant this from them? No matter how gallantly they were dressed or beautifully I had arranged them, all were turned away. I had done everything right, so why was this happening? I stole my thoughts back. That didn't mean anything, just that Sweetie had fun arranging the mannequins into odd patterns. Then again, that didn't explain how the one in my room had moved. I kept my door locked at all hours… too many precious gems were in there to leave open to wandering hooves.

I walked out, shaking my head and shoving the thoughts to the farthest reaches of my mind. The sun was coming up over the sky, the clouds gone from above Ponyville for the first time in nearly a week. The ground was still a bit marshy though, my hooves soaking in water when I put too much weight onto the saturated earth. I stuck to the sidewalks as I headed across town. Eventually I got to Butterscotch's home, after a considerable amount of walking. I knocked, and a few minutes later the sleepy pegasus answered, clearly fresh out of bed. He opened the door, looking at me curiously.

“Elusive… I haven't seen you in a while. I was wondering if I should have written to you, but I didn't want to pressure you into anything… uh, how have you been?”

I wondered whether to be truthful, but I knew if I was he would tell Dusk Shine. That would be a lot to deal with, on top of everything I was already trying to handle. So I decided to redact what would alarm him, and stick to what was enough to satisfy his curiosity.

“Just a few sleepless nights, been busy with my work. It's been a bit of a struggle.”

Butterscotch nodded, looking away. “Okay. Sorry to pry... come in, if you want.”

He stepped aside, going to his kitchen as I stepped into the cabin. It was nice to be in such a cozy space again… free of any sort of pressure from my work or those mannequins. My own home felt less inviting than his these days. It was a blessing to get away from it all. The sound of the stream outside and the wind from the forest against the house was more welcome than the stillness my own home was ruled by. The outside world was reminding me it was there when I visited Butterscotch's cabin. Whereas in my own home I felt isolated from the rest of Equestria. The shy pegasus returned with tea, smiling at me.

“So, um, what's been keeping you up? Bad dreams?” He asked politely.

“You could say that… and with the stress from work it isn't doing me any favors.”

“Have you thought about going to the spa, maybe?”

I pondered that, sipping my own tea. I could always do that, but I had to be back in time for the fillies to be up. Tomorrow seemed best. It was a way to procrastinate going into my workroom. To that thought I nodded. It was a great way to calm my fraying nerves.

“I'll go tomorrow, I have some things to do today. Care to join me?”

Butterscotch tilted his head to the side. “You're never busy on Sundays… what is so important?”

I wondered to myself whether to say anything about Thunderclap. If I did I ran the risk of it reaching Dusk, who would want to know every detail of it. He was especially prone to dig at us for details of our lives these days. Not that I blamed him in the least. We were his entire social life, as his own schedule was nothing but books and politics these days. We were his only real outlet besides Solaris and Lune, and both of them were rather difficult to talk to considering they were ancient. They had bad habits of ruling their conversations the same way that they did a courtroom. Through unbridled wit and endless experience. I couldn't bring myself to lie to Butterscotch though. His intentions were too pure to turn down.

“Well, Butterscotch… I'm letting one of Sweetie Belle's older classmates stay with us for a while, and I wanted to spend the day there if she needs anything or wants to talk to me.”

The pegasus seemed a bit surprised, taking in the information before nodding. “That's really generous of you, Elusive. If I can ask, how long is she staying?”

“I don't really know exactly. She was supposed to be staying with her older sister, but she left her at home alone for weeks at a time. So I suppose until the sister notices and comes to talk to me. Or, if the older sister doesn't care at all, she can just stay there until she can finish school.”

“Oh, that's a bit sad… I hear it's kinda common in some places though.” Butterscotch said, running a hoof over the couch cushion. “So what's her name? Is she nice to Sweetie?”

“Her name is Thunderclap, and she's a bit distant. She pushed me away at first… but she really does want someone to talk to. If not me, then she at least has Sweetie and her friends. Being on her own isn't good for her, at her age. I would know.”

“I'm sure you would. I know it was bad just having nobody in flight school, but to not have anyone at all would have left me a much different pony. I'm glad Rainbow stuck himself out there for me.”

I thought about that for a moment. It was common knowelge in our group that fate had conspired to bring us together from the very start. Stopping to muse over how different our lives would have been without each other would be gazing through a very strange looking glass, into a world that would be unrecognizable from this one. I did my best not to think about it, and continued our conversation.

“Yeah… odd thinking about how we all came together. But Dusk feels a bit distant these days. Always busy at the castle. I wish he got more time to himself.”

“I've been talking to him by mail… he really misses us. I wanted to go see him, but the only days he doesn't have something to be doing are Sundays, and to go all the way there and back would take almost all day on its own. Poor thing needs more rest, with that much pressure on him.”

I agreed, a large part of the Equestrian government was bombarding Dusk with things that seated his authority, recognized him as one of their primary royal leaders, established his roles and resposibilities, and countless legalities that were so abstractly worded in legal jargon it barely made sense to anyone but an experienced lawyer. Luckily he had Solaris and Lune to help, and last I heard it was dying down as his first year as a prince drew to a close. After that I supposed that he would take up Lune and Solaris' schedule. They only had court duties and hearings Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. A much more bearable work schedule, although they were all-day affairs often taking up fifteen hours of their time. As I thought about it, I wondered if alicorns got tired. Butterscotch roused me from my thoughts.

“Are you going to finish your tea? You looked a little, um… distant for a moment there.”

I silently chided myself for spacing out as I replied. “Of course, I was just thinking about Dusk is all. I have to go soon, I need to get back before Sweetie and the rest of her friends are up.”

“Yeah, I wouldn't want to leave Angel alone for too long either… see you, then.”

I stood, finishing my tea and thanking him for his company. I made my way to the door, waving a hoof goodbye before heading out again. The walk back was a hot, as the midsummer sun beating down on Ponyville. I did my best to try and ignore it as I stopped at the market, grabbing a few groceries before heading back in the direction of my home. The humidity was more bothersome than the heat, and I silently thanked the stars that I had air conditioning in my home. As I walked in the front door I found the mannequins moved again. They all faced the doorway, as if they had anticipated my return. I went to the kitchen, ignoring them and setting everything in its proper place. Once the groceries were put away, I decided to go upstairs.

On my way up I looked into Sweetie's room, finding that Thunderclap wasn't there. I turned on a dime, walking back downstairs to look for her. I checked the basement, then the kitchen and the display cases. I really didn't want to… but I then turned my attention to my workroom, walking up to the door and laying my hoof onto the handle. I took a deep breath, pushing my thoughts of my work out of the way as I walked in. In my chair sat Thunderclap, looking out the window at the circle my home was located on the edge of.

“Y'know, this has a great view of the route we all walk to school.”

“It does… I watch Sweetie Belle head outside and meet her friends almost every day. I see Diamond Tiara sometimes, and you started to fly by here two weeks ago. Although I really didn't notice you much until a few days ago, you went by so fast.”

She nodded, looking around the room. She turned her attention to the book of photos I kept of my clients with their measurements written to the side of them. Off to the side of the book was my sketch of her, which earned me an odd glance.

“Why did you draw this?”

I chuckled a bit, shrugging my shoulders. “Well you see, I was a bit puzzled by you. Most ponies don't have legs like yours, especially at your age. You reminded me of Fleur de Lis at first. I figured one of you parents were one of the earth ponies from outside of Equestria.”

“Yeah, my Mom… she has legs like mine too. She's really tall, but my Dad is kinda short for a pegasus. I'll probably be a little taller than you, when I'm done growing.”

I nodded, walking over to her. “When do you suppose that will be?”

“I don't know really… my Mom said she was only a little older than me when she stopped getting taller. So maybe sometime later this year?”

I nodded, flipping pages of my workbook while she looked at all the different ponies. I glanced over at her, then sighed. She was nearly as tall as me already, it wasn't that hard to think that she would gain an inch or two by the end of this year. I looked back to my workbook, flipping pages. A lot of happy memories were in those pages, and to add to it I had photos of the garments I had made for all of them. It felt a bit bittersweet, the way that I used to feel about my work… and how it made me cringe now. I shut my book, smiling at Thunderclap.

“What brought you in here?” I asked, wondering if something had caught her eye.

“Well, I was just walking downstairs and he door was open… so I just went in. I'd already had breakfast and I was kind of bored.”

I nodded, wondering what on earth had opened the door to my workroom. I kept it shut when I wasn't in here, and locked on weekdays. A lingering tentacle of thought reached out from the dark corner of my mind, and I nearly bit my own tongue. Had it been one of the mannequins? I shook my head and banished the tendril of dread back to its corner. I looked at Thunderclap and did my best to keep my mind occupied in thinking of something more to say. Still, I felt the presence of all the thoughts I had been throwing away, refusing to think about. My work, the mannequins, Dusk Shine, all of it was piling up. However, Thunderclap tore me away from my thoughts, looking up at me oddly.

“Elusive?” She asked, having clearly said something while I had been thinking.

“Yes, sorry about that… I have moments where I wander off. What were you saying?”

“I was just wondering where your room was.” She said.

“Oh… it's on the top floor.”

She nodded, scuffing her foot on the floor. I looked over at the mannequin that I kept in my workroom to find it sitting with its face in a corner, hiding itself. I hoped that if it felt anything, it felt guilt for letting Thunderclap in there. I loathed this room… it dredged up far too many bittersweet memories of the past. I turned my attention back to the filly to find her looking at an old suit of mine, accompanying a dress I had made for Sweetie Belle. Two years ago I had worn that to the Grand Galloping Gala, back when Dusk was just a student and I was merely a happy designer. She stared at the suit, then the dress. The way she did was curious to me… I looked back to her. I felt a bit of a spark in my head as I looked at the pegasus again.

I had never in my life designed a garment for someone like her. It filled me with curiosity for exploring new territory. Her coat and mane colors were very unique, and her proportions were without a doubt completely different from anypony I had ever made a gown for. It almost made me think… maybe she was what I needed to get myself out of this horrible slump.

“Thunderclap, might I get your measurements?” I asked, walking to my desk to get some measuring tape.

She turned, looking a bit confused. “What would you… I don't have the money for a dress, Elusive.”

I shook my head, returning to her with a smile as I used magic to take her measurements. “It won't cost you a dime. It is entirely my gift to you.”

She shrugged, watching the measuring tape span between her shoulders. “I guess that's okay then. What made you want to do this all of the sudden?”

I faltered, nearly dropping my measuring tape, but clenched my jaw and let my smile return to my face. She didn't need to know about my struggle. She had enough on her mind already. So, I shrugged my shoulders as I wrote the last of her measurements down. I then got out my camera, taking a picture before turning to my book. I opened it, putting her photo in next to her measurements as I pondered what colors would match her coat. She was an earth tone already, which made it a challenge… that accompanied by her gray mane narrowed it down to a very narrow spectrum of shades and even less hues. Still, I stole my courage and got out my pencils and drawing paper.

“You can stay here if you want Thunderclap, this process is a bit boring for those standing by...”

I sat at my desk some hours later, tapping my pencil. I had stared at the same drawing of this dress for an hour, looking between it and Thunderclap's photo. There was something fundamentally off about the dress I had drawn. Every dress that I had ever created matched a certain canvas that was a pony's body. Now, I was being challenged. It was both frustrating and refreshing at once, to be forced to do something different. Her proportions were so specific to her that it was turning into a rather fun game to work around one problem, only to be stumped by two more. If I made the dress of normal fabrics then it would tear at her narrow shoulders if she moved any faster than a light trot. Of course I could use an unsightly thicker stitch, but that would detract from the relatively seamless design. The only fabric that retained color well enough to still stand out from her coat and meet that requirement was silk. Then the problem became silk itself, which was far too glossy to look good with her relatively opaque coat. I would need to treat it first. I would also need to change the design, yet again.

In the meantime the pegasus was looking through my old things, all the old dresses and other such miscellany. I hummed as I reworked my design for the seventeenth time. I had to admit, the more that I stared at Thunderclap's photo, the nicer she looked. Maybe it was the small smile on her face as I had taken it. Her form was unique and I found it to be a breath of fresh air, as a clothier and a stallion. Her legs exercised a certain fluidity as I saw her walk around my workroom. It was a sort of grace I didn't see in mares about Ponyville. The closest I could think of would be the aristocratic ponies that I saw about Canterlot. She didn't look at where her legs were as she walked, a common trait for ponies her age. Instead she walked with her eyes fastened on where she was going, and her legs moved her there swiftly.

I turned my attention back to the dress itself, erasing a large portion of it. I then drew a silk layer to it, that encompassed her legs and shoulders. Fabric would overlay that on her upper legs and chest, allowing me some freedom to design beyond making the dress fully out of fine silk. That would be both impractical and extremely time consuming, not to mention expensive in terms of resources. Happy with that decision, I thought about colors. I could stick with what colors she had in her coat at the moment. As I pondered it, it struck me that a subdued orange might match her light brown coat. Warm colors tended to mesh well with earth tones as long as they were used in moderation. Autumn was also around the corner, too. With a smile, I thought of the falling leaves and brisk breeze that went through Ponyville. I held the image of the season in my mind as I began to add color to the dress itself.

About a half an hour later I stood, walking over to the pegasus as she gazed at the mannequin in the corner. I ignored it. Instead I diverted my attention wholly to Thunderclap, smiling as I held out the drawing to her. She examined it, tapping her hoof on the floor.

“I like it… I think it would really look good. What do you think?”

I froze up, not knowing how to respond. This was how all the other dissapontments started. With hope. I did what I did best though, and put on a brave face for her. I wanted to make her happy. She deserved to feel appreciated. Thunderclap had done nothing to earn being forgotten by her family, so making her feel like she belonged here was something that filled me with an unwavering passion. It burned in my chest almost as bright as what I had felt for my work back then, and it made me feel awake for the first time in months. Even if this turned out to look like a dissapointment to me, so long as she loved the dress then I would make it even if it made me physically ill.

“I think that it would suit you perfectly” I said with a smile.

It earned me a smile in return, one that made me feel a warmth in my chest. I would do my best. For myself, and for her.