Nightmare Moon is a Fucking Bitch

Moonlight trickles through the window as you tread the line between the realm of consciousness and unconsciousness. The bed you lay in is soft and warm, and so is the mare snuggled against your chest.

You are Anonymous, enigmatic, extra-dimensional playboy of Equestria, and also the second most powerful individual in the country... Figuratively speaking. You have no MAGICAL power, unfortunately, but you could get pretty much anything you want, whenever you want it. It was one of the perks of helping a scorned, embittered former princess pony overthrow her sister and take control of the kingdom she used to co-rule before she was imprisoned for a thousand years.

Oh, and she's your also your girlfriend, so that helps, too.

Now that you think about, it sounds kinda weird to refer to this much older mare as your girlfriend. It's not incorrect, but still, she's old as fuck. She certainly doesn't look it, though, which is fortunate, especially considering how you just finished having sex with her.

It was pretty weird, the events leading up to it. You had always liked Nightmare Moon, as she was pretty good to you. Even though she never returned your amorous feelings at first, she had found that she had grown attracted to her one confidante who loyally stuck by her from the beginning. Of course, being the funny mare that she is, she decided to confess her newfound feelings for you by going into your dream when you went to bed yesterday, telling you everything, and even feeding the flames of love with a little romantic encounter.

Unfortunately, Nightmare Moon didn't get the memo that the humans of your homeworld, Earth, the Third Dimension, don't really retain dreams all that often. Maybe it works differently for the creatures in this world or something, and they frequently remember their crazy-ass dreams.

Anyways, with no remembrance of Moony pouring her heart out to you and giving you her metaphysical body to love, she was rather pissed at your ignorance the following evening when the two of you awoke. You, being blissfully unaware of why your dear friend was in such a foul mood, suggested that the two of you spend some quality time on the tennis court as the work week came to its end. You would end up regretting this very much.

Nightmare Moon ended up using the game as a thinly-veiled anger outlet, pummeling you repeatedly with high-impact tennis ball strikes. Actually, the veil was so thin, it wasn't even there. She just wanted to beat the shit out of you. Even you had your limits, however, and once enough became enough, you beat the shit out of her.

Your body begins to ache once more now that the pain-relieving endorphins of sex are wearing off. Damn, you're gonna be sore for at least a week...

The two of you reconciled on the court once you had managed to recall the dream Nightmare Moon had shared with you. With mutual apologies, the two of you decided to start your new relationship off on a better note.

Luna had revealed her "true" form, so to say, the familiar tall, black alicorn now replaced by a smaller, bluer one. She insisted that she pull off the mask that she wore before giving herself to you for the first time. Truth be told, you would have been fine with it even if she hadn't, but if it made her feel better, then sure, why the hell not?

The two of you then proceeded to do it like those mammals do on the Discovery Channel, and with no small amount of relief from you as your blissful orgasm overrode the pain of the beating you received. You came inside Nightmare Moon.

Felt pretty good, man.

The mare in question stirs slightly in your arms. You had both collapsed afterwards, ready for a nap, though it seems neither of you has crossed over into sleep, yet. An unanswered question ravishes your mind, begging to be spoken and quench the gargantuan thirst that is your curiosity.

"Hey... Moony?"

Again, you feel a stir and hear her groan, confirming she was still awake. "Mmm, yes, Anonymous?" She mumbles, drearily.

You blink as you contemplate the unasked question, the potential answer makes you nervous. "What are we gonna do next time?"

No response. Luna then raises her head. "'Next time?' What do you mean?"

"Y'know... how are we gonna mix it up for next time? It's going to be boring if we just stick to the same old thing each time, right? You got anything in mind?"

Again, no response as she gives you a blank stare, but then looks off in another direction as she genuinely begins to ponder this. "We do not-... How does... Ah... Hmm..." She lowers her head back down onto your chest as she continues to think. Another moment of silence passes until she pitches a suggestion. "What if we were to try some bondage, with dominance and submission?"

That sounds alright, but... "Enh, I dunno," You shrug dismissively. "It feels like we've kinda already done the dominance and submission part. What else have you got?"

It sounds like she's going through her mental catalog of sexual activities as she seems to be mumbling possible suggestions. Finally, she perks up. "How about a genderswap? You will be the mare, and We will be the stallion."

Fascinating, you admit, but a doubt hangs in your mind. "Sounds kind of advanced. Do you have a genderswap spell like that off the top of your head?"

She gives a not-very-reassuring "Mmhmm."

"Alright... Now do you have a spell that makes me into a pony mare? I don't know if you noticed, but stallions are packing way too heavy for a human body to safely take."

She rolls her head around into you a little more, trying to find the comfortable spot she had lost. "...We could make one... probably. Give Us roughly a month or so."

"Ugh..." You groan. Maybe it was just the pain in your body making you grumpy, but trying to decide what you were going to have for sex next time is proving to be a stubborn task. This isn't like picking what you'll have for supper each night. You could eat those oven-bake pizzas for a week straight if you fucking felt like it. Who's gonna stop you? You like pizza, and the only one you have to please is yourself.

Sex, though... That was cooking for two.

You attempt to pull your weight and offer an idea of your own. "Ah... What about... I dunno, threesome?"

This one actually gets Luna to lift her head up again, and look right at you. "A threesome? With whom did you have in mind, by chance?"

Oh wow, you hadn't thought that far ahead. "Uhhh, anyone we want? You rule this entire god damned country, and I'm directly beneath you. We can get anyone we want, can't we?"

She rolls her eyes in annoyance. "And WHOM would agree to a threesome with Us? This is not... 'Magical Pornography Land', Anonymous. Ponies will not simply bend over and beg the two of us to rut them simply because We ask them to."

What? That can't be right... Surely there's someone out there who would jump at the chance to get down with Royalty and Boyfriend.

"Well... shit. Don't you know anyone who'd want to do it with us?"

She scoffs and rolls her eyes at your inquiry. "We have no friends, Our dim-witted love, and all of the ponies whom We know would partake in such activity with Us are currently buried far below Equestria, their bones degraded into dust."

Oh, yeah, that whole 'gone for a thousand years' thing. Damn, that certainly throws a wrench into things. "Alright, well, what if we-"

"MY QUEEN! THERE IS AN EMERG-"

The doors fly open as a Lunar Guard scrambles in, a look of distress on his face, whether that look of distress is because he was tasked with barging into Nightmare Moon's room unannounced or because of whatever news he was bringing was up for debate.

Nightmare doesn't seem to be up for such debate, judging by the quick shriek she gives. "GAAH!! BEGONE, YOU INSOLENT RAT! WHAT HAVE WE TOLD YOU ABOUT ENTERING OUR CHAMBERS UNWARRANTED?!!" She scrambles to grab the the entire blanket and further cover her naked form for whatever reason...

...leaving you completely uncovered with your junk exposed for the guard to gawk at. Lovely.

His gaze lasts only for a split second, however, as he quickly regains his composure. "Please! My Queen! It is an emergency!" This doesn't seem to alleviate the white-hot glare she is currently shooting him.

"Unless this palace is about to spontaneously combust, We do not want to hear it, and We strongly suggest you LEAVE, BEFORE WE GELD THEE!!"

The threat of castration certainly hits the right notes within the scared-shitless guard, but the brave stallion remains where he is. "B-but, that's exactly it, Your Highness! There's a mare in the throne room, she wants to speak with you personally, and she's threatening to blow up the palace!"

Whoa. WHOA. Okay, now that has got your attention. Bomb threats and assassination attempts were no stranger to you and Nightmare since the two of you took over, but those were usually empty promises at best, and half-assed attempts at worst. The fact that whoever is making this threat is actually in the throne room and threatening to blow you all to hell is a little disconcerting. Even in light of this, Nightmare Moon still seems to be more distressed about being walked in on, completely naked and out of form.

"F-Fine! We shall be down in but a moment, just get OUT! W-We are not dressed yet! Tell Captain Vigilant Sky to contain this mare, do not let her leave!"

Likely glad that he still has his testicles, the intruding guard gives a salute and an affirmation before retreating to relay the Queen's orders. Before you can mentally digest this sudden change in what was supposed to be a nice weekend, Nightmare Moon angrily grumbles and rises from the bed. Hastily, she puts on her shoes and regalia before storming out of her bedroom.

You blink. The cool air on your balls snaps you back to reality as you decide that you should probably follow. In a flash, you leap out of the bed and tactically throw on the clothes you had discarded prior to banging Nightmare. You would have thought it'd be a pain in the ass to put on a charcoal two-piece suit on in a speedy manner, but you somehow did it. With no time to lose, you bolt out the door after Luna.

At the very least, you want to be at the flashpoint of this explosion if it goes off.

*~*~*~*

*~*~*~*

Sprinting down the ornately decorated--and hopefully not about to be reduced to rubble--hallways, you managed to link up with Luna just before the two of you make it to the door that leads to the throne room. Two armed Lunar guards stand sentry at the doorway, holding sharp spears. A Lunar Guard officer stands between them, stoic and professional, waiting to brief Nightmare Moon on the situation. You can only assume this is Vigilant Sky.

"My Queen..." He bows, to which Luna impatiently gestures for him to rise.

"Your corporal caught Us at a very inopportune time, Captain. This had better be important."

The grizzled-looking stallion arises, not at all intimidated by the queen's irate tone. "We believe this is the real deal, Your Highness. At around 0500 yesterday morning, we received a written bomb threat from an unknown party saying that explosives would be detonated at a significant landmark if we did not meet their demands. No specific place was mentioned, and the probability of it being genuine seemed shoddy, at best. Then, about 15 minutes ago, this mare strolled right in..."

Nightmare Moon looks to the doorway, raising an eyebrow. "This mare, is she alone? Has she stated her name?"

The Lunar captain turns around, placing his hoof on the door, ready to lead the three of you in. "She didn't give her name, she just walked in wearing a heavy coat, and said she wanted to speak to Queen Nightmare Moon directly, otherwise she would blow the palace up with everyone inside."

Luna's beautiful blue visage hardens slightly at this, as if she was not quite buying this story. Seemed like a fairly standard Jihad to you. Sounds like a pony is pissed off at Nightmare Moon, and either gets her demands met, or gets blown sky-high as a martyr. Whichever way it was going to go, remains to be seen, but you've got a pretty good feeling that whatever her demands are, they're not going to be met. Luckily, you've got Equestria's oldest mare to keep your ass safe.

To be honest, you're not really sure what you're doing here. You're just kinda standing off to the wayside while Nightmare Moon and her guards handle the situation... as it should be, of course. You've got no EOD training or experience in negotiating with bombers. You're just here to lend moral support to Luna and for the thrill of possibly getting blown up, you guess.

"Are We correct to assume your stallions have her properly contained?" Nightmare asks her Lunar officer.

He nods. "Yes, Your Highness, I've got a dozen guards in there, with six halberds and six crossbows pointed right at her. She's made no attempts to escape, but is threatening to detonate her explosives if we move in to arrest her."

You detect a small sigh escape Luna's lips, since she absolutely must deal with this now if she can't simply throw her guards on the perpetrator. "Very well, let us get this over and done with..."

With that, the Lunar Captain pushes open the doors, and the three of you make your way into the grand throne room of Nightmare Moon.

*~*~*~*