Epic Rap Battles of Equestria!

Epic Rap Battles of Equestria!

Applejack!

vs

Pinkie Pie!

Begin!

So the party pony's here, sure am glad you came.

It's good to see you got that frosting outta yer mane

Oh, thanks, Applejack; I didn't know you cared!

And now let's settle this for best earth pony mare!

I'm throwing you a party! I'm hoping you'll be pleased,

I'm really very sorry, but you're gonna lose to me.

I am the best party pony! And you’d better realize

Everypony loves Pinkie; even my presence is a prize!

Everypony loves parties, but work is downright boring!

At my house we're all dancing, but at your house we're all snoring!

You're always bucking apples or gettin' ready for a race,

When you don't work, you just sleep! And Pinkie rests her case.

You know what life would be like, ifn' I didn't work?

There'd be apples on the ground, but there'd be none in yer dessert.

Everypony would be crying, cause all the cider would be gone,

And if you had no apples, you'd stop baking 'fore too long,

There'd be no apple tarts, or apple strudels, or even worse,

There'd be no more apple pie! Stop, AJ, that hurts!

So keep on jokin', Sugarcube, but it's surely plain to see,

Half the things that make you glad are all because of me.

Ooh! Making ponies happy! That's Pinkie's favorite game!

You can say that with apples, but it's really not the same.

Using flour and sugar, I make pastries from scratch!

That's something all the apples in the world just couldn't match!

You're strong and you work hard, Applejack, that's a fact.

But just picking up apples? Even Gummy can do that.

So you think you're really strong from always bucking trees?

I bet you 50 bits you can't bounce everywhere like me!

As for liquid awesomeness you know I'm gonna win this,

I break the fourth wall all the time like it's nopony's business!

Breaking walls? Ha! That's foalish play.

Have you seen the things I do every day?

I can buck every tree in my acres of land,

I got more hoofpower than two party cannons!

Sure you're real quick and you’re pretty random

But sure and steady is how we land 'em.

A country party happens in any weather.

Did you see all the food from our last Apple get together?

When we throw a party, we have a big bonfire!

Plenty of food, with nice cold cider!

Yeah, I know how to work, but I know how to play,

'cause I'm from the country and I like it that way!

(Apple Bloom gently tugs on Applejack's mane.) Hey AJ, what's the fourth wall?

(Applejack shrugs). I don't rightly know. I think Pinkie made it up just to sound smart or something.